Reviews by PvtCaboose91

If there's one consistency in Quentin Tarantino's cinematic oeuvre, it's that he never delivers exactly what you'd expect. 2009's Inglourious Basterds is no exemption to this. The fact that the title of Tarantino's revisionist World War II fantasy is intentionally misspelled can perhaps be best perceived as a subtle hint that the movie itself is nothing like most imagined it to be. Neither the sweeping war movie nor the orgy of ultra-violence its title and marketing suggests, Inglourious Basterds is a talky drama that centres on a variety of coincidentally-connected characters during WWII. Unfortunately, too, this isn't the masterpiece one would have expected either. Clocking in at approximately 150 minutes, this is an unforgivably leisurely, almost glacial feature that loses its way in the thickets of alternative history and dialogue. Most importantly, this is not a movie about history or war, or anything of substance or meaning - it's a movie about movies & influences. For all its visual bravura and sporadic bursts of brilliance, it simply feels trivial.

Inglourious Basterds is divided into a number of titled chapters, with the main narrative focus split into three. One of the plot strands focuses on the Basterds; a group of bloodthirsty Jewish-American GIs under the command of Lt. Aldo Raine (Pitt) who spread fear throughout the Third Reich by brutally killing Nazis. Another focal point of the plotline is a fugitive Jewish woman (Laurent) who lives incognito in Paris and owns a movie theatre. The story also concerns a German SS Officer known as "The Jew Hunter", Col. Hans Landa (Waltz).

Nominally, Inglourious Basterds is about the titular troupe of commandos conducting raids throughout occupied France. But in actuality, the movie is a self-indulgent compilation of Tarantino's inspirations. In fact the Basterds themselves hardly appear in the film since Tarantino instead continues to obsess over wronged females seeking bloody vengeance (a trend he started with Jackie Brown, then exhausted with Kill Bill and Death Proof). The short screen-time of the Basterds would be more forgivable if they were replaced with interesting characters. Alas, the film spends more time with a bunch of boring, cardboard characters as a substitute. By the time all the multiple plot strands interlace for the finale, it's tough to care about what happens to any of the characters.

Tarantino has never been one to be succinct when he can masturbate through endless pages of self-indulgent, referential dialogue. The basic formula for a chapter is simple: a pointlessly long conversation takes place that acts as a precursor to a short burst of violence. The problem with this formula is that the dialogue rarely offers any effective characterisation...it's all gratuitous filler without any relevance to the story instead. (At one stage, characters converse for at least 40 minutes before they're all gunned down. And the point of that was...?) Each segment drags on for far too long until you no longer care about who's in danger or what's at stake. The necessity of such excessive chatting is especially questionable when the outcome is predictable.

Inglourious Basterds is just a radically undisciplined movie since Tarantino wanted the film his way and can never bear to cut a frame. He's unable to understand relationships in the movie industry too; in fact his most profound relationship is with himself. This is primarily reflected in the fact that he never hires a composer because he doesn't want another person to have that much influence on his work. The soundtrack for Inglourious Basterds is therefore pilfered from various sources, and the result is often jarring. Spaghetti-western music (ala Ennio Morricone) is used for an establishing shot of a French farmhouse, and a 1980s David Bowie song plays over a scene happening in 1940s Paris.

Sly winks pervade the movie as well. At the premiere for the latest Nazi propaganda movie, Hitler tells Goebbels "This is your finest film yet". The last line of the movie is perhaps the most significant wink - "I think this might just be my masterpiece", Aldo quips.

Moments of brilliance are contained within Inglourious Basterds which remind a viewer just how excellent Tarantino can be as a writer and director. Take for instance the brilliantly executed opening sequence in which Col. Landa interrogates a French dairy farmer about the whereabouts of his Jewish neighbours. At around half an hour in length, this dialogue sequence is sustained by the relentless tension Tarantino manages to conjure up. Also noteworthy is the movie's surreal inferno of a climax which rewrites history with such operatic verve that it's difficult not to get swept up in its ludicrous exhilaration. Other excellent segments can be found here and there as well (such as the hilarious Mike Myers cameo). In essence, the film is about 50 minutes of magnificence that's tragically squandered by the 100 minutes of boring, pointless filler surrounding it.

As for the cast... Christoph Waltz as Col. Landa is an excellent find. His performance itself (which earned him an award at Cannes) is effortlessly charming, while the character is one of the film's only three-dimensional creations (though his sudden change of heart in the final 15 minutes feels contrived and at the convenience of the plot). The role called for an actor with the linguistic ability to speak French, German, English and Italian, and Waltz delivers with aplomb.
Unfortunately, none of the Basterds are badasses; they're plain, unremarkable caricatures. Brad Pitt underwhelms as Aldo Raine, while scenes featuring Eli Roth's minor character unfold like outtakes from Hostel. Diane Kruger is note-worthy as an undercover German actress who helps the Basterds.
Mélanie Laurent is worth a mention; she submits a top-notch, immaculately nuanced performance as a beautiful young Jewish fugitive. Meanwhile Der Führer and Joseph Goebbels, played by Martin Wuttke and Sylvester Groth (respectively), are portrayed as cartoonish buffoons.

Somewhere in the midst of the overstuffed Inglourious Basterds lies two very enjoyable movies - an enjoyable, 89-minute slice of exploitation cinema and a potent war drama. When merged together, the result is two main stories connected by contrivances. All things considered, Inglourious Basterds is one of Tarantino's least-focused films to date. The director has paid so much attention to the film's peripherals that he has neglected to provide a centre worth embracing. While one can appreciate and (to an extent) enjoy what Tarantino has achieved here, one must wonder if a more Dirty Dozen-style action film (tailored for Arnie and Sly, as originally intended) would have yielded a better overall experience.

5.4/10

Hollywood, it would seem, has grown unable to produce a great romantic comedy. With the modern studio system predominantly concerned about making money through minimal effort, you'd be hard-pressed to encounter a studio-produced rom-com which doesn't adhere to as many genre clichés as possible. The Ugly Truth is a perfect example of a generic romantic comedy from the Hollywood factory. It's also more or less a lazy rehash of practically every element of 1989's When Harry Met Sally (with similar protagonists, similar sex jokes and an analogous perspective on relationships). But at any rate, the creators of The Ugly Truth (including three female screenwriters - God help us!) had the decency to set it apart from the uninspired rom-coms of recent memory with some material that's funny and a commentary on men & women that's fairly accurate (if a bit hackneyed). Beyond this, however, The Ugly Truth is a cookie-cutter movie, and the cookies are rather stale.

The female protagonist of this story is ambitious, romantically-challenged TV producer Abby Richter (Heigl). When the ratings slump for Abby's morning show, the station manager hires Mike Chadway (Butler) to increase the show's popularity. Mike is the host of a television program who offers insights into the primal male psyche. Abby detests Mike and his philosophies, but he becomes an instant TV sensation. Meanwhile, Abby takes a liking for her hunky new neighbour Colin (Winter). When she becomes cornered, Abby grudgingly agrees to let Mike help her court Colin and prove his theories on relationships along the way.

The set-up is painfully familiar - boorish everyman who doesn't believe in deep relationships meets fussy professional woman seeking true love. They initially loathe one another, but opposites attract in the world of romantic comedies. The story, in other words, is nothing unprecedented. The Ugly Truth stays inside the lines; making sure the eternally single girl lives with a cat, and the dream date has the perfect physique. With a trio of women credited with penning the screenplay, one would hope for some smarter feminist positioning. But alas, the film holds true to every hoary moviemaking chestnut; from the best friend who lives vicariously through the heroine to the obligatory music montage which implies the growing bond between guy and gal. The concepts of subtlety and nuance are discarded, as is the very concept of innovation.

But The Ugly Truth is admittedly hilarious - not consistently so, but there are enough laughter-inducing scenes to keep things from becoming tedious. The scenes that grant Mike the freedom to talk about relationships and sex are frankly hilarious. There's a glut of other comedic set-pieces as well (such as a predictable incident in a restaurant involving vibrating underpants). Since the filmmakers amplify the crudity factor, your enjoyment of The Ugly Truth will depend on your taste in romantic comedies and tolerance for vulgarity. The film is about as review-proof as any teen-oriented blockbuster.

Another of the film's strengths is the way it pokes holes in the romantic illusions between men and women that should prove fascinating for both genders. The film suggests that while women possess a mental checklist for the perfect man and spend their leisure time reading books about men, men are in fact very basic with their genitals acting as their guiding compass.

The star of the show is Gerard Butler, who's clearly having fun with his character of Mike Chadway. He's rakish, frank, eccentric and roguishly charming without even trying. Above all, he's an absolute riot and he confidently keeps the film afloat throughout the rough patches. It's a tour de force of a performance. At the other end of the spectrum, Katherine Heigl (who executive produced with her mother) is merely adequate, and seems a tad stale alongside the excellent Butler.
Cheryl Hines and John Michael Higgins are terrific and under-utilised as the married co-anchors of Abby's news program. Bree Turner has some great moments as Abby's romance-starved assistant, and Eric Winter is as good as possible considering he's playing a cardboard cut-out of a character. Nick Searcy is also noteworthy as the TV station's beleaguered manager.

It's a common belief that the central characters of a romantic comedy must be likable in order for the movie to work. But in the real world, there are detestable individuals who still manage to find love. It'd be a real achievement if a bunch of filmmakers were able to make a smart, funny rom-com which involved a contemptuous person searching for love. This would be an effective way to shake up the weary formula. The Ugly Truth had the potential to be that particular movie, but it ends up playing it safe; sticking to the tried and true rules of the genre. There's at least some fun to be had with this by-the-numbers romantic comedy though, and the humour (sophomoric as it often is) relieves some of the boredom of this generic love story.

6.2/10

Directed by John McNaughton (who arrived on the scene in 1989 with the low-budget shocker Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer), Wild Things is a twisty, lurid Southern noir tale of sex, scandal and devious plotting. It doesn't take itself too seriously (ala Showgirls), but neither does the film sink into complete camp. Wild Things instead resides somewhere in the middle, and the product is amusing, shocking, erotic and inarguably engrossing.

Because the plot secrets are key to the movie's enjoyability, only a brief outline of the basic set-up will be included in this review.

The story unfolds in the South Florida town of Blue Bay, and centres on a high school guidance councillor named Sam Lombardo (Dillon). Sam's life is turned upside down when he's accused of rape by manipulative rich girl Kelly Van Ryan (Richards) and trailer-trash bad-girl Suzie Toller (Campbell). Since these two girls are established enemies at school and couldn't have conspired together, the case seems airtight. But is it?

The case goes to court (with Billy Murray starring as Lombardo's cut-rate attorney), but with the case ostensibly solved at the halfway mark, one can be sure nothing is as it seems. After the trial, Wild Things spirals into a web of deceit, murder, and double and triple-crosses. The screenwriter (Stephen Peters) juxtaposes passion and ambiguity, and he becomes so delighted with the power of an expected twist that he endlessly doles them out throughout the film's final half hour. The story eventually becomes so complex that the movie backtracks during the closing credits to provide an explanation of how key moments transpired. Even the most meticulous road map of the story will lead one hopelessly off-course - it's not that the script cheats, but it provides sufficient information to let us to arrive at the wrong conclusion. On top of all this, Peters manages to continually pull the rug out from under the audience without the twists ever feeling contrived.

If there's one aspect where Wild Things falters, it's in the writing of the characters. The actors themselves are exceptional, but the on-screen individuals they're playing are superficial creations devoid of genuine depth. The movie feels underdone at a sleek runtime of roughly 105 minutes, and it would've been beneficial if the lead-up to the preliminary rape allegation was padded out with additional character development.

Because Peters' script contained no shame and no pretensions, director McNaughton was free to take the material to its limits. A screenplay like this deserved the full treatment, and McNaughton came through - any opportunity he was given to be overtly sexual or leeringly sensationalistic, he went for it. Elegantly shot by cinematographer Jeffrey Kimball and magnificently scored by George S. Clinton, Wild Things is afforded a glossy, unreal quality that nicely dovetails with the pulse of the drama.

Of course, the primary draw of this film is the girl-on-girl action courtesy of Denise Richards and Neve Campbell. It's cinematic bliss. Richards (previously seen battling bugs in Starship Troopers) is an actress of decidedly limited range, but she can act sultry and seductive without destroying the illusion that she's a seventeen-year-old. The fact that an adult can pass convincingly as a teen is key to the movie's success. Campbell is sublime; turning in a flawlessly nuanced performance as a dark, rebellious teenager. She sadly had a no-nudity clause in her contract, though, which cuts down the impact of one of the film's key sequences (it's also just plain irritating that we don't get to see her naked).

Matt Dillon and Kevin Bacon constitute the other two key members of the cast. Dillon is perhaps too handsome to be taken for a high school counsellor, but he's nonetheless effective as Sam Lombardo. Our sympathies are with Dillon from the outset, and these emotions come into play when the film begins to throttle towards its climax. At the opposite end of the spectrum, Bacon as the suspicious detective is nothing short of outstanding. Finally, there are supporting roles filled by Robert Wagner, Theresa Russell, Jeff Perry and Bill Murray. Murray is particularly hilarious as Lombardo's lawyer: he's both very sleazy and more competent than his modest office might suggest.

Wild Things is more or less Double Indemnity with a young cast which features undercurrents of erotica, black comedy and noir. This is a terrific film, and it's a lot of fun watching the story reveal the characters' complex machinations. Much fuss has been made about the nudity, but none of it feels gratuitous because it's all in keeping with the sordid, ugly and immoral constitutions of the characters. The narrative is so engrossing that one will care more about the storytelling than the sex. If you can tolerate a bit of artful sleaze, you can't do much better than this.

7.9/10

Under the direction of Sam Peckinpah (who's also responsible for the amazing Western The Wild Bunch), The Getaway is both an excellent anti-hero action movie and a solid character study. This 1972 film is often considered one of Peckinpah's most commercial projects, but it nevertheless bears the director's distinctive stamp: a terrific opening sequence, proficient editing, and restrained bursts of violence. While it ranks a few notches below Peckinpah's more acclaimed efforts, The Getaway delivers enough action set-pieces, flakey characters and cinematic style to keep viewers thoroughly riveted.

The plot is straightforward: professional thief Doc McCoy (McQueen) and his wife Carol (MacGraw) are fugitives on the run after pulling off a bank robbery sanctioned by corrupt prison officials. However the couple's trip to impunity in Mexico is marred not only by skirmishes with the police department, but also run-ins with the mob as well as emotional tension between the lovers.

Sam Peckinpah is the director who made action cool. When he arrived on the scene in the middle of the 1960s, audiences were stunned - never before had action sequences been executed with such tenacity, violence and gritty realism. Peckinpah was not a show-boater either, and the movies that constitute his legacy remain daring and fresh to this day. Even if you've never seen a Peckinpah movie before, you've more than likely seen his influence present in virtually every action flick released since the director made his mark on Hollywood.

At its most basic level, The Getaway is vehemently an action movie. Despite this, as with all of Peckinpah's best movies, characterisation and story shares equal time with the action. But rest assured that even with plenty of dialogue, the film delivers a bunch of brutal shootouts (the climax is a humdinger) and destructive car chases, not to mention numerous suspenseful set-pieces (most notably the bank robbery and a pursuit on a train of Hitchcockian proportions). None of the characters inhabiting the frame are honourable or endearing (symbolised during one sequence in which, to escape detention, Doc and Carol hide in a garbage receptacle and are consequently dumped in a vast waste area), though strangely enough a viewer can grow to like the pair of protagonists (in a Bonnie and Clyde sense).

The air of realism established in The Getaway is amazing - Peckinpah shot the film more or less in sequence and on authentic Texan locations; the characters and their motivations resonate with ordinary people; and the action is spectacular yet never beyond the realms of reality. From the very first haunting shots that encapsulate the depressive monotony of incarceration, a viewer is thrown head-first into a world far removed from Hollywood fantasy. The heroes in this world are morally questionable, and the marriages in this world aren't anything like fairytales. Quincy Jones' easygoing, jazz-inflected score further contributes to the film's flavour, making The Getaway a standout treat. There are a few flaws, though - some of the plot twists are clichéd, and the film is occasionally contrived.

Steve McQueen perfectly fits the bill as a tough ex-con and a man who struggles with showing emotion. McQueen establishes the ideal balance between machismo and vulnerability for his role of Doc McCoy. An audience can sympathise with him (and this is very important, due to the fact he's a criminal) because he's an anti-hero with flaws, and it's clear that despite being a villain he can't bring himself to kill a man in cold blood. It's simply a tour de force of a performance. Al Lettieri is excellent; presenting a terrific study in evil as the ruthless villain who refuses to die. Unfortunately, Ali MacGraw is a waste of time - she has no genuine acting ability and doesn't have good chemistry with McQueen (which is surprising since the two stars eventually got married). Rounding out the cast is Sally Struthers who's fantastic as the tramp obsessed with Lettieri's character, and Ben Johnson who's deliciously evil as Jack Beynon (the corrupt official who sets the main bank robbery in motion).

Compared to contemporary action flicks, The Getaway does lack explosive action, but it makes up for this with realistic portrayals of people who are struggling to overcome realistic obstacles. Viewers weaned on frantically-paced action flicks may find The Getaway incredibly slow, but the more relaxed pacing works to the movie's benefit if you have the required attention span.

8.4/10

District 9, the searing debut feature of South African director Neill Blomkamp, is a summer flick of a rare breed: it's a science fiction movie with depth and provocative ideas that also leaves space for violence and action. With heavyweight New Zealand moviemaker Peter Jackson serving as producer, this excellent low-budget sci-fi actioner (which stars no well-known actors) has drawn a lot of attention in the lead-up to its release. And, for those concerned, it surpasses its hype with aplomb. Lensed with a staggering degree of immediacy, District 9 grasps an unoriginal premise and adds innovation, producing the most compelling and cerebral science fiction movie to hit cinemas for years. It's definitive proof that a successful summer extravaganza doesn't need to be brain-dead or big-budget. (This is particularly potent in the late months of 2009; a year which bore the release of the catastrophic $200 million blockbuster Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.)

Blomkamp begins his film in the style of a documentary; presenting a montage comprised of news reports, interviews and raw footage. An audience can accept the premise more easily because these creatures are introduced in the type of scenes we see on the daily news. It's soon revealed that during the 1980s an enormous disabled spaceship cast its shadow over Johannesburg, South Africa (as opposed to a more glamorous port of call). Yet this ship that hovers above Earth turns out to be a rotting cocoon inhabited by creatures on the verge of death. The authorities remove these aliens from their ship, dump them in a fenced shantytown, and force them to live in slum-like conditions. Here they're derogatorily referred to as "prawns" (on account of their crustacean-like appearance).

The main story thread transpires during 2010 when the human populace of Johannesburg demand that the prawns be moved somewhere else. Enter Multi-National United (MNU); the company in charge of the relocation program. The protagonist of the film is an MNU bureaucrat named Wikus Van De Merwe (Copley) who's exposed to alien biotechnology.

The genesis of District 9 (penned by Blomkamp with writing partner Terri Tatchell) dates back to a low-budget short movie entitled Alive in Joburg. This six-minute short, directed by Blomkamp, caught the eye of Peter Jackson who in turn hired the young South African to helm the screen adaptation of Halo. When the Halo project crumbled, Jackson gave his protégé the proper funding to create the feature-length expansion of Alive in Joburg as an alternative - and District 9 was the product.

Gritty faux-documentary footage is intermingled with first-rate CGI to mesmerising and convincing effect, giving a viewer the distinct impression they're on the lam beside Wikus. It's certainly far more compelling viewing than your typical high-gloss Hollywood production. Once District 9 shifts into its second half, there's action aplenty. And it's during these action sequences that Blomkamp shows real potential - they're expertly choreographed, gritty, easy to follow, and are able to generate tension and excitement (unlike Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen). Blomkamp's handheld style is effective, never too jerky, and never nauseating. With a vivid imagination and a taste for gore, the director additionally conceives an arsenal of alien weaponry capable of blasting and frying humans in a variety of gory ways. The film's R-rating from the MPAA is more than warranted.

The computer-generated special effects (created on a diminutive budget that would barely pay for Optimus Prime's left arm) are astonishing - the prawns are utterly convincing in their movements, body language and environmental interaction. The film even affords the occasional close-up, portraying thoughtful eyes and enough humanity to make these computer-generated aliens sympathetic to a viewer. District 9 is a big upwards step in the realm of CGI wizardry; the creatures are so realistic you'll quickly forget that they're digital creations, and focus on the story instead. It's a bit of a shame, then, that the film doesn't reveal more about these otherworldly beings. Our queries about the aliens aren't all explored since the key focus is on Wikus' (admittedly more interesting) story.

The human effect of District 9 is another strong asset - Wikus' transformation from government stooge to freedom fighter is gripping. It helps that South African actor Sharlto Copley turns in a stunning debut performance. Copley immerses himself into the character of Wikus Van De Merwe; he feels natural, not contrived. Meanwhile all the supporting actors - from the interviewees to Wikus' colleagues - are outstanding. However the characters themselves don't fare so well. The gung-go military forces, lead by stereotypically brutish jarheads, are quite predictable. There are some other minor issues here and there (basically just small issues with storytelling), but these are fairly forgivable considering Blomkamp's relative inexperience.

Chief among the most intriguing aspects of District 9 is the way director Blomkamp re-aligns our sympathies. Initially, aided by the documentary-style montage that recaps the prawns' arrival on Earth, an audience are neutral observers who naturally side with humanity. But as the story unfolds, and as we are privy to the atrocities committed within D9 on top of the inhumane manner in which the prawns are treated, our allegiances shift.

District 9 is one of the most eloquent and original science fiction movies of the decade. It showcases the efforts of an exciting new director skilled in mise-en-scène, pacing and suspense-building. It's amazing that the film was produced on such a paltry budget of $30 million. From a technical standpoint it's a triumph, and this indicates an economy of both filmmaking and storytelling that makes Neill Blomkamp a director worth watching out for. District 9 has the maverick, genre-bending energy of Peter Jackson's early works and it is directed by Blomkamp with an equally sure hand. It also proves there's intelligent alien life in the movie universe during the 2009 summer season.

9.5/10

Chuck Norris, it would seem, is America's leading brand of all-purpose pest control. Whether it be Russians, mobsters, thieves, ninjas or Satan himself, the bearded superhero possesses the ability to save America from every threat that rears its unpleasant head. 1985's Invasion U.S.A. is a prime example of what the Chuckster can achieve when left to his own devices. Utilising an impressive array of weaponry to dispense his own patented style of vigilante justice, the lethal hero works to protect America from hundreds of heavily-armed Russian soldiers who have unexpectedly stormed the country's sandy shores.

Following the plot (if you will) of Invasion U.S.A. shouldn't be difficult whatsoever. It's as basic, generic and pedestrian as they come, allowing even the terminally stupid to enjoy the proceedings without ever being required to overexert their limited intelligence. Basically, an army of Russian terrorists led by Soviet agent Mikhail Rostov (Lynch) invade America. Meanwhile, Mr. Norris stars as ex-federal agent/karate expert/alligator wrangler Matt Hunter who's asked to take down Rostov and company by the agency he formerly worked for (leading to a "We really need you this time" scene). Initially he declines, but (as you'd expect from a mid-80s action flick) the bad guy makes the common mistake of taking a bazooka to Hunter's home and killing his friend. Thus, the stage is set for one man against hundreds...and this is fine, because it's 1985 - it's the time of Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and the one-man army genre.

What ensues is a full-scale (in Miami at least) attack on American civilians as Rostov's troops take to the streets with weapons aplenty (their preferred choice of human destruction being the trusty rocket launcher). The National Guard eventually shows up to control to the civil unrest and defend the streets (though not effectively). The backdrop of Invasion U.S.A. is the grand standoff between the USA and the USSR, but the story more or less only amounts to a local mano-a-mano grudge-match between Hunter and Rostov. The thought-process behind Rostov's decision to seek vengeance upon Hunter is murky, but it has something to do with Rostov being unable to get a good night's sleep.

Did I mention Hunter is psychic? I should have, 'cause he is. Whenever the terrorists are about to strike, Hunter shows up to spoil their efforts and kick ass. The script (co-written by Chuck himself) provides an ample amount of these situations, with the simplicity of the plot, characters, and production values reflected in Hunter's terse catchphrase "It's time to die." For sure, Invasion U.S.A. is astonishingly bare-bones, but it's entertaining to watch while the film alternates between scenes of terrorist nastiness and of Hunter doing cool, manly things. Norris occasionally speaks ("If you come back in here, I'm gonna hit you with so many rights, you're gonna beg for a left"), but the film's key focus is on the action set-pieces. Shit continually explodes and the body count continues to rise, reaffirming that Chuck Norris - and, by extension, America - is not to be fucked with.

The consistent tactic of Invasion U.S.A. is to build sympathy for helpless stock characters (like two lovers on the beach or a family erecting their Christmas tree on an idyllic suburban block) before they're mercilessly slaughtered by the terrorists. Therefore when the Chuckster kills the terrorists responsible for this massacre, we cheer and applaud.

By the time he starred in Invasion U.S.A., Chuck Norris had appeared in movies for over a decade. However, he still hadn't picked up on the whole acting thing yet. The key requirement for a one-man army is to not only remain calm & confident under pressure, but to be careful not to demonstrate a huge array of facial expressions - one expression does nicely, and two is a bit of a stretch. For most of this film, Norris sports a very bland facial expression. He only smiles twice - when he sees his pet armadillo acting stupid, and when he's watching an old black and white film on TV (a 1953 sci-fi picture called...Invasion USA!).

The plot's straightforward nature is also mirrored by Chuck Norris' wardrobe. He's simply a bearded action hero dressed in blue jeans, a low-buttoned denim shirt, duel leather shoulder holsters, black gloves and (most importantly) an Uzi for each hand.

Richard Lynch seems to be having a blast playing the mastermind behind the slaughter; delivering a thick layer of faux Russian cheese that will either leave you amused or offended.

Now...flaws? Sure, there are heaps. Invasion U.S.A. had the potential to be a truly epic action film, but budgetary constraints mar this potential. Trucks are shown heading to several American locations, yet the action is restricted to Miami. The abrupt ending will leave you wanting so much more. Naturally the dialogue is usually flat as well. In addition, the whole thing is cheesy, stupid, preposterous and often hilarious (intentional or otherwise).

As the decades roll by, there will always be a place for gormless action movies like these. They act as fun reminders of an era during which the intellectual appetites and expectations for Hollywood actioners were at an all-time low. Invasion U.S.A. is a perfectly entertaining guilty pleasure. They just don't make ambitiously cheesy movies like this anymore.

6.1/10

Loosely based on a true story of a manhunt that took place in Depression-era Canada, Death Hunt denotes the ambitious re-teaming of two of cinema's most manly actors - Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin (they previously appeared together in The Dirty Dozen). Fans of these respective actors as well as action enthusiasts in general will discover plenty to like about this nail-biting action-adventure, which is essentially a Western transplanted into an icy Canadian backdrop with the undertones of a morality play.

The story takes place in the remote snowy wilderness of Yukon Territory (Canada) in 1931. A grizzled loner named Albert Johnson (Bronson) is attacked by a group of hillbillies, and in self-defence Johnson manages to kill one of them. Infuriated, these hillbillies accuse Johnson of murder. Sergeant Edgar Millen (Marvin) of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police suspects that Johnson's actions were out of self-defence, but is compelled to pursue the accused murderer regardless. While Sergeant Millen has his experience and the resources of the RCMP on his side, Johnson has the skills, endurance and experience of mountain living to elude his pursuers. To make things more complicated, the local hillbillies place a sizeable bounty on Johnson's head.

Johnson and Millen are worthy adversaries who clearly possess no animosity towards one another - Millen is carrying out his duties in accordance with his job, and Johnson just wants to stay alive and be left alone. In real-life, it wasn't clear whether Johnson was actually guilty. In this motion picture adaptation, however, he was unmistakably the victim of false charges. Perhaps it'd make for more riveting viewing if the film's standpoint on Johnson was ambiguous instead.

Usually in '80s action films of this ilk, set-ups are shortened in order to dive into the nitty gritty as quickly as possible. Death Hunt is different - the premise is established at a relaxed pace, which allows for a decent amount of character development before things kick into high gear.

Rest assured that once the premise is instituted, the chase that ensues is thrilling and the body count is substantial. As the film progresses, Johnson constantly manages to outmanoeuvre Millen's men as they attempt to catch him, albeit just barely in some instances. He also makes mincemeat out of the hicks who are hunting him (who are interested in collecting the bounty on the man's head). Ironically, Johnson's pursuers perceive their hunt for him as the titular "death hunt", but at the end of the day it is their own deaths that make it a death hunt.

As a retelling of the story of the real Albert Johnson, Death Hunt fails since the screenwriters took a number of liberties with the facts in order to create a more romanticised tale. But as a gritty '80s action-adventure, Death Hunt works - it's an excellent slice of manly entertainment. The photography of the forbidding icy landscape is breathtaking and atmospheric. And with Peter Hunt at the helm (a veteran of the early James Bond movies as both an editor and a director), there are a bunch of well-handled action sequences to behold, although the film does suffer from being choppy and disjointed from time to time.

On some levels Death Hunt does falter. It feels a tad underdone, and needed more depth since a lot of the characters are hollow stereotypes. A bunch of typical '80s conventions are occasionally used as well. For instance during a few of the shootouts Johnson stands still and is out in the open, but his opponents never manage to hit him (whereas Johnson manages to fire a number of well-aimed shots). Taking these credibility issues further, Millen's men use a cluster of dynamite to blow up Johnson's cabin. An enormous explosion is the result, but Johnson (who is inside his cabin at the time) emerges totally unscathed.

At its core, Death Hunt is an acting duel between Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin (although they only engage in one dialogue scene together). Both of these actors were clearly aging by the early '80s, but they bring incredible conviction to their respective roles. Bronson employs his distinctive quiet fortitude while Marvin offers a rugged disposition. This is a fine vehicle for these two badass leads. Angie Dickinson briefly appears as the love interest for Marvin's Sergeant Millen. The brief scenes between these two performers begin to effectively flesh out the character of Millen, showing a sad adherence to duty that he's unable to drop. Death Hunt marked the final cinematic pairing of Dickinson and Marvin (the two other films being The Killers and Point Blank).

With a manly cast (boasting such names as Bronson, Marvin, Carl Weathers and Ed Lauter), an engaging narrative and picturesque locations, Death Hunt is an essential '80s actioner. A few faults aside, this tense flick is solid entertainment from start to finish.

The Dirty Dozen is a quintessential man's movie - a blokey salute to courage, determination and true grit. Director Robert Aldrich seizes a traditional World War II adventure tale and cleverly blends it with anti-authoritarian attitudes that were flourishing in America by the late 1960s (as the unpopular Vietnam War continued to escalate). Amazingly for such a beefy two-and-a-half-hour movie, The Dirty Dozen is nimbly paced and not a moment feels inessential. It's unable to hold a candle to the visceral war films of later decades (like Saving Private Ryan), but The Dirty Dozen remains undeniably enjoyable and captivating.

Set just before D-Day, the film involves a cynical army major named John Reisman (Marvin). As a prelude to the Normandy invasion, Reisman's superiors order him to carry out a classified mission: recruit and train twelve army prisoners (who are condemned to either death or life imprisonment), and lead them behind enemy lines to destroy a Nazi chateau. This chateau houses a variety of high-ranking German officers, and killing them could disrupt the enemies' chain of command. Reisman's twelve soldiers (known as the Dirty Dozen because they were stripped of their bathing privileges as a form of punishment) will be granted a full pardon if they return from their suicide mission alive.

The story is straightforward, but our intimate involvement with the characters carries this simple story a lot further. The Dirty Dozen fleshes out its characters as much as the story demands without resorting to meandering bonding scenes or dated montages. Even despite the fact that some of these characters are alleged murderers, they're wonderfully humanised and likeable.

The team of misfits initially detest one another, but they're brought together through their hard, laborious training. By the third act the twelve soldiers share a unique brotherhood, but this is not long-lived. The climax may not be the most spectacular combat sequence in history, but the film's brutal honesty in displaying the systematic elimination of members of the Dirty Dozen is astonishing. Normally in mainstream cinema, the heroes survive and save the day. But in The Dirty Dozen, the heroes learn a cruel reality of war: people die.

The Dirty Dozen is based on the novel of the same name by E.M. Nathanson. Neither the book nor the film has any particular historical antecedent, though it was common practice in wars to send criminals into battle with the promise of a full pardon if they survive. Those who are sticklers for detail will find a lot to nitpick about The Dirty Dozen - its depiction of the military and of military procedures is slipshod, the wargames sequence is at times absurd, and its set-up of the climax (with guards in short supply) is contrived. The biggest flaw, however, is that the Nazis are written as too conveniently stupid. Had they been that dumb in real life, the war would have been won in a matter of days. These problems don't interfere too severely with one's overall enjoyment of the film though, which is a testament to Aldrich's directorial skill.

The Dirty Dozen was created during an era before computer-generated special effects became an integral part of the moviemaking process. Therefore a significant portion of the budget for this film went towards constructing an actual mansion for the final battle. The pyrotechnics and practical effects in general are refreshing in an age of CGI-overwhelmed blockbusters. The climax itself is an impressive action sequence brimming with nail-biting intensity. It definitely lacks a certain visceral punch in terms of gunshot wounds (those who are shot just fall to the ground without any palpable injury), but it nevertheless remains an incredibly entertaining sequence...the half an hour just flies by.

While it can be perceived as fairly tame, The Dirty Dozen was edgy for its era and hit a nerve with audiences upon release in 1967. The film isn't weighed down by messages or moral lessons, but it was one of the first motion pictures in history to display the darker side of war - that the best soldiers are often societal outcasts who murder and rape. War is hell, it ain't civilised, and it brings out the savage in everyone.

Aldrich's film provides a cynical view of the army, of authority and of the mission the dozen are asked to execute (after all, why couldn't they just bomb the chateau?). The fact that the mission seems suicidal and unnecessary is deliberate, as Aldrich's primary target was military idiocy. Throughout the course of the film he even takes swipes at the death penalty and race relations. The Dirty Dozen also became the first major mainstream movie to acknowledge that atrocities took place on both sides during World War II. The film's protagonists kill plenty of Germans (some of whom are innocent civilians) in cold blood. Arriving on screens in the middle of the increasingly ostracised Vietnam War, The Dirty Dozen broke a barrier, blurring the line between the "good guys" and the "bad guys".

One of the most distinguished aspects of this ensemble action flick is the cast. Lee Marvin and Charles Bronson are major badasses, and their characters are representative of their own personalities. John Wayne was apparently considered for the part of Major Reisman but he declined in order to make The Green Berets, and Lee Marvin stepped into the role instead. Marvin is excellent; portraying Reisman as an unflinchingly authoritarian. Other standouts in the cast include John Cassavetes, who earned an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor for his work as the most outspoken and toughest of Reisman's convicts. As for the rest of the cast, there's Ernest Borgnine, Jim Brown, Richard Jaeckel, George Kennedy, Trini López, Ralph Meeker, Robert Ryan, Telly Savalas, Donald Sutherland, Clint Walker, Robert Webber, Tom Busby, Ben Carruthers, Colin Maitland, Stuart Cooper and Al Mancini among others - every one of whom hit their marks.

The Dirty Dozen even influenced numerous films, ranging from made-for-television sequels to movies which employ a similar premise and modify it (Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables, and so on).

Sure, The Dirty Dozen is flawed and it's more of a macho male's fantasy than a realistic war film, but it remains an eminently watchable 145-minute cinematic experience. This is just a good old-fashioned manly movie. Not to be missed.

8.4/10

1994's Death Wish V: The Face of Death further confirms that prolific architect-cum-vigilante Paul Kersey (Charles Bronson) is the single unluckiest man on the planet. This fifth and final instalment in the long-running Death Wish franchise hit cinemas on the twentieth anniversary of Kersey's first attempt to stifle crime on the streets of New York City, and it represents the legendary Charles Bronson's last theatrical appearance (he would only star in three more made-for-TV films). Death Wish V (randomly reverting back to Roman numerals) drifts even further away from the original Death Wish, playing out as a violent action fantasy rather than providing any thoughtful themes. Indeed, in spite of their entertainment value, the Death Wish sequels unmistakably advocate vigilante justice rather than condoning it, continually reiterating the message that the law system does not work. Nevertheless, as trashy low-grade '90s action movies go, Death Wish V is perfectly serviceable despite its silliness, and long-time Bronson fans should still have fun with it.

In this follow-up, Kersey has returned to New York City and again enters a relationship with a woman thirty years his junior. Kersey is dating renowned fashion industry figure Olivia Regent (Lesley-Anne Down), whom he intends to marry. However, Olivia's mafia ex-husband Tommy O'Shea (Michael Parks) wants to get his mitts on her fashion empire. Hoping to put O'Shea behind bars, Olivia agrees to testify against him, but she winds up predictably dead as a result. Kersey is less than pleased about his fiancée's murder, bringing about a pertinent question from the cops: "You're not thinking about going back to your old ways, are you?" But of course, this would not be another Death Wish sequel unless Kersey comes out of retirement one last time to punish the perpetrators.

The problems with Death Wish V primarily stem from the elementary script, credited to director Allan A. Goldstein. Dialogue is unremarkable and clichés are frequent, ranging from corrupt police to a villain with most of the city on his payroll. The set-up preceding Olivia's death is comparatively extended, implying that Goldstein was trying to establish a genuine emotional connection between Kersey and his fiancée to add impact to her inevitable demise, but the writer-director lacks the dexterity to pull it off, and the relationship instead feels perfunctory. Indeed, Death Wish V is pure formula, never attempting to stray from the franchise's well-worn idiosyncrasies or story points. In standard Death Wish tradition, there are thankfully plenty of cheesy one-liners which are easy to laugh at, and Kersey delivers ample tough guy dialogue.

Armed with a scant $5 million budget, the film's technical presentation is pleasingly competent and the action sequences are assembled with adequate flair despite Goldstein's inexperience with genre pictures. Produced before digital effects became so prominent, there are real stunts and explosions to be seen throughout Death Wish V, though the seams are visible at times (a person on fire is clearly wearing a protective face mask, for instance). The lack of budget is occasionally evident as well, particularly after Olivia is supposedly disfigured by a broken mirror - the actress only appears to have a few texta marks on her face. In addition, funerals are sparsely attended and Olivia's entire fashion empire is restricted to a single dingy warehouse, complete with an acidic pool. Filming for Death Wish V took place in Canada to save money, and Goldstein uses stock footage of New York City to create the illusion that the movie takes place in NYC. Frankly, the stock footage comprises at least half of the movie, and it is obvious that the principal actors are never in New York. In 1974's Death Wish, NYC was a character unto itself, but it's difficult to get a proper sense of time and place here. Furthermore, Goldstein stages several sequences of torture that go on for too long and lack tact, creating an air of sadism. Death Wish V also ends abruptly - the script reportedly contained additional ending scenes that were not filmed, and the result is jarring.

Bronson was seventy-two at the time of Death Wish V, necessitating a suspension of disbelief as Kersey continues to indulge his vigilante instincts. Unsurprisingly, Bronson does not display a great deal of athleticism, but he does appear in respectable shape despite his age. As ever, this is not an especially nuanced performance, but those who appreciate his screen persona should get a kick out of his efforts nevertheless. Kersey continues to expand his arsenal here, murdering victims using poison and remote-controlled soccer ball bombs, among other things. Indeed, much like Death Wish 4, this occasionally feels more like a sequel to The Mechanic, given the elaborate assassinations. In the role of O'Shea, late veteran character actor Michael Parks (From Dusk till Dawn, Kill Bill) is reliably effective and scenery-chewing, though the script only asks him to play a simplistic black-and-white bad guy. But despite the character's one-dimensionality, Parks is one of the better villains in the franchise, and is well-matched against Bronson. Saul Rubinek (True Romance, Unforgiven) also appears in a minor role, while other mildly recognisable performers fill out the supporting cast.

At its most basic level, Death Wish V: The Face of Death is a watchable 1990s action film, the likes of which Menahem Golan was renowned for producing during his heyday. Those seeking a straightforward revenge actioner with Bronson doing what he does best should be satisfied, but if you want a rumination on the morality of vigilante justice like the original Death Wish, you should not be watching these sequels. Cannon Films dissolved in the early 1990s due to bankruptcy, leading Golan to establish his own production company and spearhead Death Wish V in the hope that it would serve as a sure-fire hit. Alas, the follow-up was an abject failure at the domestic box office, grossing a pathetic $1.7 million against the reported $5 million budget, and receiving a direct-to-video release in other parts of the world. Nevertheless, another sequel was considered without Bronson's involvement, to be titled Death Wish 6: The New Vigilante. When Golan's 21st Century Film Corporation went bankrupt, however, the fifth sequel was cancelled. Since the quality could have only declined even further, particularly with Bronson stepping away, it is probably fortunate that the planned fifth sequel was never brought to fruition. Instead, Death Wish was remade in 2018 with Bruce Willis taking up the mantle as Paul Kersey.

5.3/10