Reviews by PvtCaboose91

"If you go down this road, the LAPD, the FBI, the CIA... they're all gonna come for you. They'll find you. And they'll stop you."

Despite sharing the same writers as the original Taken, 2014's Taken 3 feels as if it was created by filmmakers who were oblivious to what made the 2008 gem such a breakout success. Years on, Taken still stands as a superior action offering; a bruising, fast-paced slice of primo entertainment elevated by top-notch technical specs and the presence of seasoned thespian Liam Neeson. Taken 2 hopelessly missed its mark, and Taken 3 is even worse, ill-advisedly trying to reinvent the franchise by becoming a mystery-thriller that rips off The Fugitive, as opposed to being the balls-to-the-wall actioner that we all wanted. Written by Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen, it's not cerebral enough to succeed on its own terms, and it utterly fails as over-the-top fun. It doesn't help that Taken 2 director Olivier Megaton returned for this instalment, further demonstrating his incompetence when it comes to pacing, storytelling, and, most heartbreakingly, action.

Following the events of the first two movies, Bryan Mills (Neeson) is living a comfortable life, and now maintains stable relationships with those that matter the most to him: beloved daughter Kim (Maggie Grace) and his ex-wife Lenore (Famke Janssen). However, Lenore is murdered in Bryan's apartment and the former government operative is framed for the crime. Pursued by Inspector Franck Dotzler (Forest Whitaker), Bryan goes on the run to prove his innocence, seeking help from his old CIA buddies Sam (Leland Orser), Casey (Jon Gries) and Bernie (David Warshofsky).

Megaton has a poor track record with Besson's EuropaCorp company - he killed the Jason Statham-starring Transporter series with the subpar third instalment (a reboot is coming, with a different actor), and he mucked up Taken 2. Added to this, while doing the promotional rounds for the second film, Megaton admitted that he's not a fan of sequels or action films. So, why the fuck does this preposterously-named hack still get directorial work?

Taken 3 feels closer to A Walk Among the Tombstones than the first Taken, as the movie spends most of its time focusing on exposition and story. Tombstones was actually good, however, as it was R-rated, legitimately interesting and sophisticated. Taken 3, on the other hand, is contrived and dull as dishwater. There's no verve or style here, nor is there any sophistication or smarts. Worse, the justification for Lenore's murder and for Bryan being framed is mind-numbingly stupid and convoluted. The reveal is not even shocking; it carries no weight and makes no impact. Instead, you sit back and wonder if they're actually serious. Admittedly, it's interesting to see Bryan working with his trio of resourceful friends that were introduced in the first movie, and it's a bonus to have Whitaker as an intelligent cop. Too bad the movie does fuck all with these characters.

Action fans seeking a fix should look elsewhere - Taken 3 has nothing to satisfy you. There is almost no action here. There's a tiny smattering of fisticuffs, a couple of foot chases and a grand total of two shootouts, one of which is so brief that it barely qualifies as an action scene. This stuff will barely keep you awake. The climactic gunfight in particular is lacklustre and vanilla, with not a drop of blood to be seen. Most embarrassing is witnessing one of Bryan's victims being shot while his shirt is open; his gut wounds should be spewing with blood, but instead he refuses to bleed as he, um, “bleeds out” and dies with mere ink stains on his stomach. Taken 3 doesn't even feel PG-13... it feels G-rated! Neeson seems to be love-slapping policemen to knock them out, and Lenore's slashed neck looks like a hickey. Making matters worse, when Bryan unleashes his trademark skills, the editing and camerawork are flat-out awful - most of the fights are incomprehensible. When an action movie cannot deliver so much as a modicum of good quality action, there's a huge problem.

As to be expected, Neeson remains a solid leading man. His endless charisma is about the only thing saving the production from total inertia. Neeson is badass as always, which is why it's a huge shame that the material fails to serve him. Whitaker, too, is solid, bringing some degree of gravitas to the proceedings. The rest of the cast fails to make much of an impact, though, with Maggie Grace looking fairly uninterested. Lenore's husband Stuart is re-cast here, with Dougray Scott replacing the older, more placid Xander Berkeley from the first film. It's a jarring change, and though Scott is a decent actor, his presence is ultimately a bit of a spoiler. After all, Scott plays shady characters and is renowned for villains. Go figure.

With its flimsy narrative and utterly generic construction, it feels as if the screenplay for Taken 3 was initially written as some cheap straight-to-video distraction, but was ultimately retooled to include Bryan Mills. Ironically, the end product might have been superior if it did remain in the straight-to-video realm starring somebody like Scott Adkins, as it would most likely have been R-rated and included some decent action. Unfortunately, we're left with this incredible dud; a painfully leaden, cynical cash-in that ends the Taken series with a resounding whimper and feels a lot longer than its 109-minute running time. Taken did deserve sequels and it really wouldn't have been too difficult to make a successful follow-up. The formula is simple: a badass Liam Neeson killing hordes of nameless extras in a dumb fun actioner. But, apparently, Besson and co. wanted to make something classier by toning down the action, resulting in a movie that's still powerfully dumb but no fun at all.

2.1/10

"I have a message for President Snow: You can torture or bombed us, blasted our district to the grounds. But do you see that ? Fire Is Catching... If we burn, you burn with us!"

2014's The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 is the first instalment in the Hunger Games series that can rightfully be labelled as a bad movie... and that's disappointing. 2012's The Hunger Games was deeply flawed but retained some merit, whereas its follow-up, Catching Fire, was a borderline masterpiece, turning the so-so franchise into something special. Alas, all the goodwill instilled by Catching Fire is drained for part three, a painfully leaden experience which stretches maybe twenty minutes of narrative material into an interminable two-hour motion picture. Despite the return of competent action director Francis Lawrence, and despite the generous budget, there's not much here of any value. Plus, this is the first Hunger Games feature without an actual games.

Awakening in a subterranean hospital, Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) is inducted into the underground realm of District 13, which has survived in secret for decades under the control of President Alma (Julianne Moore) and propagandist Plutarch Heavensbee (Philip Seymour Hoffman), amassing weaponry and soldiers in preparation for the inevitable conflict with The Capitol for control of Panem. With the uprising taking shape, Katniss is asked to become the face of the rebellion that seeks to unite the districts. However, her would-be boyfriend Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) has become a prisoner at The Capitol, with the sinister President Snow (Donald Sutherland) employing him in an ominous propaganda mission designed to break Katniss' spirit and extinguish the revolution.

Splitting a novel into two motion pictures can allow creative breathing room in some instances, but in the case of Mockingjay, the decision was clearly made purely for financial reasons. Like Twilight and Harry Potter, the studio heads want to milk the series for all the money that it's worth, even if such a decision comes at the expense of economical storytelling and effective pacing. In order to convert one half of the novel into a feature-length movie, director Lawrence and screenwriters Peter Craig and Danny Strong strive to more or less cover every single corner of Suzanne Collins' tome, which might please die-hard literary fans, but it leaves the rest of us bored out of our skulls. Mockingjay slows the franchise to a halt; this entire first part amounts to a repetitive succession of scenes observing the daily drudgery in an underground bunker, with the characters itching to overthrow President Snow. But instead of anything cinematically interesting, the movie is full of scenes of characters sitting, watching TV, walking around, marching down stairs, and so on. With no payoff to speak of, Mockingjay - Part 1 is a sluggish bore that only leaves you feeling resoundingly unsatisfied.

Surprisingly, there's not a great deal of visual flair to the production, which feels pretty cheap all-round even though it was more expensive than superior movies like Gravity. Mockingjay - Part 1 is the first in the series to be lensed digitally, whereas the first two instalments were blessed with 35mm photography, which gives it a less expensive look right off the bat. Couple this with Lawrence's drab direction and the meandering script, and Mockingjay is a slog, in dire need of snappier pacing, a more intense sense of anticipation, and some style. Movies like Children of Men have shown that desolation and destruction can be photographed in an artistic, visually engaging fashion, but this is lacking in Mockingjay, which greatly detracts from the production.

Jennifer Lawrence is a gifted actress by all accounts, but even she struggles with the wafer-thin material, relegated to a performance of sobs and pouts, punctuated with a minor action scene. It's no fault of Lawrence's, but there's nothing of the fiery, passionate heroine here that made the initial films so engaging. The rest of the cast is populated with fine thespians, and they all acquit themselves respectably, but none of them are able to truly captivate here, which is again a knock against the movie itself rather than the actors. With that said, though, the film does have its moments - Katniss visiting her desecrated district is a highlight, while a few late action beats do their best to bring the picture out of its cinematic coma. Outside of this, the movie does have a few interesting scenes portraying the propaganda aspect of this uprising, with Katniss a hesitant icon. But such moments would be better-utilised in a more cohesive adaptation which actually has an ending.

Perhaps the most irksome thing to note about Mockingjay - Part 1 is that it's difficult to muster up much of an opinion about it. It's so flat, boring and one-note all the way through to its core, and makes absolutely no impact at the end of the day. Giving this story so much breathing room only serves to highlight how one-dimensional the characters are, and how flat the central love triangle truly is. There isn't even much of a cliffhanger here - Catching Fire concluded with a real stringer that heightened anticipation for the next instalment, but Mockingjay - Part 1 closes with a whimper that fails to ignite interest in the forthcoming Part 2. Fingers crossed the franchise does conclude with some dignity.

4.2/10

"You are a very fine fellow, Mr Baggins, and I am very fond of you. But you are really just a little fellow, in a wide world."

The conclusion of a now thirteen-year odyssey, 2014's The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies not only closes the door on this polarising adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's 1937 novel, but also serves as the concluding chapter in director Peter Jackson's Middle-earth saga. Suffice it to say, the Hobbit trilogy is not on the same level as The Lord of the Rings - Jackson's breakout effort was denser, more mature and more sophisticated, whereas these prequels represent a fun ride as opposed to something weightier. War breaks out in The Battle of the Five Armies, which could have made for a poignant trilogy capper approaching the quality of The Return of the King, but the emotional stakes aren't as high here, and Jackson adopts a different tone, creating more of an epic, goofy action movie. Luckily, though, Armies isn't completely hollow like Transformers - it's a skilful blockbuster, with a certain degree of heart and complexity beneath its glossy exterior.

Following the defeat of Smaug the dragon (Benedict Cumberbatch), Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage) and his loyal company of dwarves are set to reclaim their kingdom inside the Lonely Mountain. However, the riches rapidly begin to corrupt Thorin, who wants to keep the masses of treasure only for his kind, refusing to honour his respective agreements with the Elves and the people of Lake-town, the latter of which are left destitute and without shelter after Smaug destroyed their homes. As Bilbo (Martin Freeman) and the dwarves desperately try to reason with Thorin, the mountain is approached by armies of Elves and men preparing to fight for what they were promised. Amid this, Bilbo finds himself torn between his friendship with the dwarves and his own survival instinct, turning to the wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellen) for guidance. Meanwhile, a vast Orc army led by Azog (Manu Bennett) plan to lay siege on the Lonely Mountain, seeking to wipe out the collected armies of Middle-earth.

Looking at all three Hobbit pictures now, it's still unclear whether or not this tale necessitated a trilogy. Tolkien created an amazing universe with his Middle-earth novels, and there's plenty of material for Jackson to explore, especially in the return of Sauron which is further delved into here. However, the trilogy is not entirely successful due to its rocky narrative structure which doesn't lend itself to a three-picture arc. Whereas the Lord of the Rings features were perfectly-judged in terms of where to conclude each instalment, the split between The Desolation of Smaug and The Battle of the Five Armies doesn't quite gel. Smaug, a superb antagonist and a notorious threat, accomplishes nothing substantial before his demise in this feature's opening sequence. As a result, Smaug's defeat does not quite carry the weight that it may have otherwise achieved if the siege of Laketown served as the climax of The Desolation of Smaug. The fearsome dragon has been such a significant presence up until now, after all, hence it feels wrong that his defeat is so rushed. So much for all the development, monologuing, and pervasive dread of the first two motion pictures...

Fortunately, taken on its own merits, Jackson's third Hobbit movie works extremely well in bringing this story to a satisfying end, delivering a cavalcade of action set-pieces that are narratively justified and superbly rendered. Once the titular battle arrives, The Battle of the Five Armies serves up endless skirmishes which are infused with the same finesse and glee that Jackson initially harnessed in Bad Taste and Braindead. This is, after all, a movie featuring Billy Connolly riding a pig, and with plenty of trolls stomping around to add further flavour to the battlefield. Armies is the shortest in the Hobbit trilogy and the Middle-earth saga as a whole, clocking in at 144 minutes including credits. The brevity is nice, as the movie doesn't outstay its welcome and pacing is brisk throughout. But while the more judicious length is appreciated, the movie does leave a number of loose ends that one supposes will be addressed in the inevitable extended edition. Beorn, for instance, is barely glimpsed for a few seconds, and the fates of a number of characters are left up in the air. Luckily, Battle of the Five Armies closes the door perfectly, with the end credits containing drawings of the various cast members, set to the sublime song The Last Goodbye sung by Billy Boyd, who played Pippin in The Lord of the Rings.

With the impossibly smooth digital photography, 3D effects and an abundance of CGI, the look of the Hobbit movies is a mixed bag. While the luscious visuals are glorious to witness on the big screen, oftentimes the movies do not look quite right. The Lord of the Rings trilogy was lensed on 35mm film stock, affording a natural grain structure which allowed the fantastical world to look real, not to mention the use of enormous miniatures look much better than their digital counterpart. The illusion, unfortunately, is never quite as convincing for The Hobbit, even though the digital effects look frequently magnificent. CGI Orcs remain the most egregious use of digital effects here; extras with prosthetics and make-up in The Lord of the Rings look far more effective. As with its predecessors, The Battle of the Five Armies is offered in 3D, projected in 48 frames per second. To be sure, these additions are gimmicky, but they're executed flawlessly, and they amplify the cinema experience. But, as I have stated about the other Hobbit pictures, the movie does fine in regular old 2D.

Even though the big, crazy action set-pieces are the stars of the show here, the dramatic stuff is still surprisingly strong. Thorin's descent into madness is fascinating to watch, and the drama preceding the titular battle is engaging. There is tragedy here; those who've read the book will know that not all of the main characters survive this war, and the various deaths do tug at the heartstrings. Also strong is the finale, with Bilbo saying goodbye to his dwarf companions and travelling back to Bag End. Jackson cannot resist the opportunity to tie the last scene into The Fellowship of the Ring, and it works quite well, reinforcing the strength of the relationship between Bilbo and Gandalf. However, the largely uninteresting love triangle between Tauriel, Legolas and Kili remains just as blah as ever, and is brought to its conclusion here. Ultimately, it feels precisely like the melodramatic slop that it is, a cheap ploy to bring in the teenage girl demographic. It's played in such a perfunctory manner, too, and one has to wonder if Jackson's heart was ever really in it.

Even though this series is called The Hobbit, Bilbo is not a main player for Armies. He is still our protagonist in this fantastical world, but other characters take the forefront here. Still, Freeman again shows himself to be an ideal Bilbo Baggins, making the role his own. However, this is Richard Armitage's show - he shines in the role of Thorin, given the chance to stretch his range and venture into darker territory. The Battle of the Five Armies is packed with an enormous supporting cast, and there are many returning faces here; the likes of Orlando Bloom, Ian McKellen, Hugo Weaving, Cate Blanchett and Lee Pace all hit their marks confidently. The aforementioned Billy Connolly is a real treat as well.

At the end of this journey, you can call the Hobbit trilogy any number of things: long, bloated, corny, shamelessly goofy, and even unnecessary. But I cannot deny that the movies are a lot of fun, and The Battle of the Five Armies is arguably a near-perfect way to wrap this story up, with its kitchen sink fantasy battle sequences rendering it the most giddily entertaining Middle-earth movie to date. Despite its flaws, it's wonderful that this long-gestating adaptation of Tolkien's accomplished work has finally been brought to life, and executed with far more skill than the horrendous Star Wars prequels that the Hobbit pictures are often compared to. Yes, it might be interesting to see a potentially superior adaptation of the novel by another filmmaker in coming decades, and one must continue to wonder what original director Guillermo del Toro would've made of the material (the love triangle certainly would not have existed under the Mexican's watch). In the meantime, Peter Jackson's trilogy is perfectly good, and it deepens the cinematic Middle-earth mythology and fleshes out various Lord of the Rings characters in a superb way. What a hell of a journey this has been.

7.9/10

"You were stupid enough to get yourself into this mess! And we're the only ones crazy enough to get you out of it!"

2014's The Expendables 3 is frustrating and heartbreaking to watch. For this third instalment of the action franchise, Sylvester Stallone has assembled the finest cast of the series to date, with fan favourites like Mel Gibson, Wesley Snipes and Harrison Ford joining the ensemble, which makes it all the more deflating and angering to witness the picture's limitless potential being squandered. With a fucking PG-13 rating and a distractingly digital look, The Expendables 3 feels closer to generic modern action junk than the '80s action classics it strives to emulate. Not to mention, Stallone's ego has reached critical mass, resulting in a trilogy capper that has its moments but ultimately falls short at every opportunity.

After breaking teammate Doctor Death (Snipes) out of prison, the Expendables gang - including Barney Ross (Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), Toll Road (Randy Couture) and Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) - head to Somalia to disrupt a black market arms deal. But the crew are attacked by Conrad Stonebanks (Gibson), a deadly former Expendable gone rogue, who shoots Caesar in the ass, leaving him fighting for his life in hospital. Barney doesn't want to put the rest of his guys in danger, cutting them loose and bringing in Bonaparte (Kelsey Grammer) to recruit a fresh team of mercenaries. With the assistance of Thorn (Glen Powell), Mars (Victor Ortiz), Smilee (Kellan Lutz) and Luna (Ronda Rousey), and with intelligence provided by C.I.A. Agent Drummer (Ford), Barney goes after Stonebanks. Also wanting in on the action is Galgo (Antonia Banderas), a flamboyant wannabe mercenary, while Barney also brings in extra muscle in the form of old pal Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger). Oh, and Yin Yang (Jet Li) shows up as well, to appease the lucrative Chinese market.

There's nothing particularly wrong with the story per se, as it seems to reinforce the worth of the older Expendables by showing the younglings getting captured. But the execution is awful, with the big names being pushed aside in favour of the charmless Twilight stand-ins. (Lutz was actually in Twilight, just FYI.) The core audience who attend the Expendables movies pay to see the likes of Statham, Lundgren and Snipes, so why would we want to spend the second act with bland Calvin Klein models instead? It would have been far more effective if Statham and co. were actually given something to do, rather than disappearing entirely. For instance, Stonebanks could have sent men to eliminate them, which would both motivate their decision to re-join Barney for the finale, and lead to some potentially incredible action beats in an otherwise flabby, action-free mid-section.

The Expendables 3 is PG-13, because fuck all of the adults over the age of 17 who want to see their favourite action stars on the big screen. Apparently Stallone "owed it" to the younger generation to deliver a softer, more gentler action extravaganza this time around, as opposed to catering to the fans who made the first two Expendables pictures such a box office success (with R ratings) in the first place.

The film's major set-pieces fall hopelessly short of their potential. The action beats are staged with suitable finesse, and hundreds of dudes are killed, but the PG-13 rating robs the deaths of any brutal impact; as a result, the whole thing feels hopelessly vanilla as opposed to giddily satisfying. It's especially frustrating to watch Trench unleash the trademark AA-12 shotgun, with the powerful bullets leaving no visible wounds. Rather than puffs of blood or viscera, this war zone is very clean and sanitised, with puffs of white smoke whenever someone is shot. Despite the competent fight choreography, there are no memorable deaths here, a tremendous drawback. An extended "unrated" cut of the movie is also available, but it nevertheless remains bloodless. To be sure, the extended cut is the version of choice, as the editing is more cohesive and it reinserts a few additional badass action beats that should never have been trimmed in the first place, but the lack of true R-rated content is genuinely deflating.

Another mortal sin of The Expendables 3 is that there's no tension to any of the action scenes, which observe the protagonists killing scores of bad guys without ever being in danger themselves. It would have been far more interesting to see a few of the team-members getting killed, or at least suffering wounds. How much more badass and satisfying would it be if the Expendables barely made it out alive, and all were soaked in blood?

And what of the climactic throwdown between Stallone and Gibson, you ask? Forget about it. What should have been a duel for the ages is instead a forgettable, all-too-short brawl mostly filmed with stunt doubles, in which Barney has the upper hand the entire time. Again, Stallone's ego is completely out of control.

Speaking of Stallone's ego, it really is noticeable. Barney is the one leading the young dudes, after all, and he's utterly indestructible. He survives an RPG hit which throws him off a bridge and into rough waters below, for instance, and he manages to avoid capture while the young guys are taken hostage by Stonebanks. And at the end, everybody cheers upon seeing that Barney is alive, and Luna even comes onto him. Seriously?

Bringing Aussie director Patrick Hughes (Red Hill) on-board was a potentially terrific decision, as it represented the chance for an Expendables movie to be an auteur effort. Alas, with nearly twenty goddamn producers, The Expendables 3 is clearly a studio product, with Hughes merely a cheap puppet whose strings are pulled by the bean-counters. To be sure, The Expendables 3 is the slickest and most polished of the series thus far, owing to the bright digital photography as opposed to the more drab visuals of the earlier movies. However, digital effects are cheap and awful. Cheesy CGI has been a staple of the Expendables movies, but The Expendables 3 takes it too far - a prison exploding in the opening sequence looks like a PS1-era video game, and a helicopter skirmish during the climax is abysmal. Brian Tyler is credited for the movie's soundtrack, but he clearly did fuck all in terms of composing for this go-round. Not that Tyler is a bad composer, but literally every piece of music used in The Expendables 3 is recycled from the first two movies. It's lazy and distracting. And speaking of the soundtrack, both prior Expendables movies feature classic rock songs, but this third entry foregrounds trashy new music, and not even popular stuff (because that would be too expensive).

Gibson is easily the best catch of the series so far; he's superb as Stonebanks, a sinister villain whose tongue is as dangerous as his trigger finger. He owns the screen whenever he appears, which is the best compliment one can give a thespian considering the below-par script. One of the best scenes in the flick involves Barney and Stonebanks in a van, with Stonebanks humiliating his former colleague in front of the young Expendables. Gibson is simply too good for this material, and it reminds you of why Gibson needs to be in more movies. Another superb newcomer is Snipes. The actor is alert and energetic here, cracking jokes and killing bad guys, making this his most enjoyable screen performance in years. It's therefore a shame that Snipes isn't given much to do beyond the first act. Ford, meanwhile, is a riot as the gruff Max Drummer, making his limited screen-time count. However, Banderas is a mixed bag. He's at times amusing, but for the most part he feels like this franchise's Jar Jar Binks. It's a shame that Banderas wasn't called upon to play something closer to his iconic Mariachi role. And, unfortunately, the franchise's primary mainstays - Statham, Lundgren, Couture and Crews - are simply here, with very little to do. Meanwhile, Schwarzenegger (who was available and on-set for more than he was for the past two movies) is also wasted; he gets a few note-worthy one-liners as expected, but he doesn't do much else. Even more heartbreaking is the presence of Jet Li, who's on-screen for less than five minutes and does little else than stand around firing a weapon. Why even include Li if he can't even flex his phenomenal martial arts skills? And in the final scene, Schwarzenegger and Li act like a gay couple. What the fuck?

On top of all its other sins, The Expendables 3 also has a huge problem in its young newcomers. While it's appreciated that someone like Taylor Lautner wasn't included, the young-bloods here are simply appalling. They were clearly included for the eye candy to set up the planned spin-off including these guys, but it's just not good enough. The budget was clearly blown on all of the big names, so nothing was left to recruit worthwhile names for these roles. Actors like Dwayne Johnson or even Scott Adkins (wouldn't be the first time an actor has played two different roles in the same franchise) would have been far more interesting. Another issue with the movie is that pretty much all the big names play heroes. Gibson is the main villain here, and he's not given the support of any noteworthy henchmen. The first film had Gary Daniels and Steve Austin, while the second movie had a very badass Scott Adkins. Here, Gibson is supported by nameless extras in battle fatigues. Robert Davi also pops in for a brief cameo, achieving precisely nothing.

This reviewer has read an early draft of the screenplay credited to Creighton Rothenberger and Katrin Benedikt, which is fairly similar to the finished product in a number of ways, except that it was vehemently R-rated and extremely violent. But of course, Stallone and his money-hungry producers stepped in to change the screenplay to suit their PG-13 desires. The Expendables 3 is the movie which broke me. Never again will a cast of this calibre unite for a motion picture. This was an opportunity to create both a phenomenal trilogy closer for the Expendables franchise, and a kick-ass action film to satiate fans for decades to come. Instead, it's little more than a mediocre footnote in each of the actors' careers. They blew it. It might satiate unfussy viewers as it can be entertaining, but I can only see wasted potential. If an Expendables 4 was to materialise (very doubtful considering the less-than-impressive box office returns), it would need to reinvent the series, similar to what Fast Five did for the Fast & Furious franchise. And for the love of God, make it R-rated.

Theatrical: 5.2/10
Extended: 6.0/10

There will be days when we lose faith, days when our allies turn against us. But the day will never come, that we forsake this planet and its people.

It's completely foolish at this point to expect a Transformers picture to be genuinely good from a serious critical standpoint, but even dumb summer blockbusters require a deft touch to make them work. Michael Bay's first Transformers remains one of the worst big-budget blockbusters of its decade, while its sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, was the worst big-budget blockbuster of its decade, with the latter so wrong-headed that even Bay and star Shia LaBeouf have publically admitted that they screwed up. 2011's Transformers: Dark of the Moon was intended to be an atonement, with Bay promising to dial down the humorous excess and produce a grittier instalment. But if this is really the result of Bay and co. trying their hardest, all hope is lost for this series (and Bay's career). An obnoxiously loud, repugnant, overlong blockbuster, Dark of the Moon is an absolute chore to get through, and though some of the mayhem is halfway entertaining, you have to wade through 90 minutes of utter tripe to get to it.

Dark of the Moon contains some revisionist history, positing that the Apollo 11 moon landing of 1969 was spearheaded with an ulterior motive: to investigate an alien spaceship that crash-landed on the moon's surface a decade earlier. Within the craft is robot Sentinel Prime (voiced by Leonard Nimoy), former Autobot leader and the elder to Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen). Fast forward to the 21st Century, and the Decepticons are determined to resume their war with the Autobots, seeking to acquire a teleportation device that has the potential to strip Earth of all life in order to rebuild the Transformers' home world of Cybertron. But this plot is a secondary concern, with the mostly movie concentrating on Sam Witwicky (Shia LaDouche) and his hot girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley). Now an adult, Sam is struggling to find a job in spite of having saved the world on two occasions, and becomes drawn into the Autobot/Decepticon conflict which also involves the American military.

It's clear that Bay was shooting for a more sophisticated instalment here, opening with a rather intriguing segment to convey the revisionist history. Bay attempts to heighten verisimilitude by mixing genuine archive footage with faux archive footage and staged scenes, but the result feels too frenetic, jumping between the various sources as if the editor was afflicted with ADHD. Unfortunately, Dark of the Moon fails to improve much from this point onward, returning to business as usual for the series: idiotic human characters and their clichéd problems. This is the third Transformers movie, yet the titular robots are still given supporting roles, even though the Transformer-centric plotline could sustain an entire feature. Moreover, while the humour is dialled down and Bay attempts to get serious, there are still mini-robots lurking around who say and do thoroughly ludicrous things. Sam's parents also show up for more unfunny monkey business, while the supporting cast espouses exaggerated accents (including Ken Jeong and Alan Tudyk) to inject even more superfluous failed humour into the enterprise.

Dark of the Moon treats its mythology and back-story as homework, with the script deploying as much exposition as possible in a perfunctory way, leading to pure boredom between all the 'sposions. And for a major studio production, Dark of the Moon is an exceedingly ugly movie, with Bay's aggressive “orange and teal” colour scheme making for visual diarrhoea, while the pedestrian cinematography is thoroughly uninvolving. Although it's pleasant to report that Bay dialled down his obnoxious shaky-cam tendencies for this endeavour, the results aren't anything to write home about, with strictly pedestrian action scenes that aren't overly thrilling. There's simply no rhythm or sense of pacing to Bay's work; the movie amounts to a jarring mishmash of over-edited scenes, and the dissonance caused by the various tones could cause whiplash. One minute we're meant to get emotional over the 9/11-esque destruction perpetrated by the Decepticons, and the next we're meant to be excited about an impending battle. There's insufficient connective tissue, making it feel as if chunks of the movie are missing. Even more bewildering is the ending - in the course of twenty seconds, there's romantic talk between Sam and Carly, followed by a rushed montage set to a quick Optimus Prime voiceover, after which the credits suddenly appear. It all feels fucking awkward and random.

Bafflingly, the digital effects are borderline terrible. It would seem that the animators were on autopilot for the majority of the movie, as Dark of the Moon's CGI is woefully obvious and incredibly phoney. CGI is meant to be utilised to maintain an illusion and make audiences wonder how various moments were pulled off, but the Transformers here look every bit like the digital creations that they are, and it's never possible to accept them as tangible beings. There's also a CGI recreation of John F. Kennedy which looks worse than the average video game. An actor in make-up, or even a vague lookalike, would be far more effective. There are a few fun moments here and there, but Bay's focus during the climax is all wrong, with the humans again taking the foreground and doing most of the heroic stuff. Just, why?

The departure of Megan Fox was a golden opportunity for Bay to recruit an actress with actual talent, but he squanders the chance by recruiting Huntington-Whiteley, a model chosen strictly for her looks who makes her acting debut here. Her first scene features the actress in underwear, and Bay's camera leeringly observes her, only very rarely shooting above her waistline. One must wonder what an actress like Zooey Deschanel or Ellen Page could have brought to a love interest role, though Bay would probably have a tough time attracting someone so classy to this picture due to the director's perverted visual instincts. It goes without saying that the acting is awful here, with LaDouche again making no palpable effort, while the military jarheads are completely forgettable. Even though Bay concentrates on the humans so much, none of them are in any way memorable.

Exactly the kind of soulless CGI demo reel that people frown on Hollywood for producing, this third Transformers picture ultimately amounts to a numbing sensory assault best enjoyed by masochists wanting their eardrums to be permanently damaged. Despite a few enjoyable scenes here and there, momentum is too often halted by dumb humour, and Bay stretches out various set-pieces to the point that they become repetitive and pointless. This series needs to end and be rebooted with a filmmaker who might do something worthwhile.

4.1/10

"Some of us are getting paid, the rest of us are just getting dead."

David Ayer has established himself as a purveyor of gritty crime films over the years, with the likes of End of Watch, Street Kings and Harsh Times under his belt. Co-written by Skip Woods, 2014's Sabotage is not exactly fresh territory for the filmmaker, who dreams up a twisty action-thriller that's dark, repugnant, and viciously violent. The movie also features the acting talents of Arnold Schwarzenegger, making a wise decision to star in what's essentially an auteur effort. Sabotage is not a typical Schwarzenegger vehicle, but rather a David Ayer film through-and-through, with the Austrian Oak playing a much darker role than usual. Although the end result is uneven and was clearly the victim of studio interference, it's definitely a fun enough watch, even if it's not the genuine keeper it could've been.

In Georgia, a team of fierce DEA agents led by the towering Breacher (Schwarzenegger) storm the compound of a feared drug lord, using the raid to steal $10 million from the cartel to split amongst them for their own means. However, the stash of money mysteriously disappears, and the Feds begin to suspect Breacher's team. After being investigated and scrutinised for six months, though, the guys are cleared to return to duty, only to find that their skills are rusty and they've grown distrustful of each other. The situation deteriorates further when members of the task force begin getting murdered in vicious ways, prompting Investigator Caroline Brentwood (Olivia Williams) to look into the killings.

Arnie has fans young and old, but Sabotage is definitely geared towards the adult demographic. Ayer's movie wears its R-rating on its sleeve, with scores of blood and viscera, not to mention the graphic image of a dead body nailed to the ceiling. It's commendable for Ayer to retain his tendency towards authenticity, though it might not appeal to those wanting something more in line with Commando. What's interesting is that Breacher and his team are actually villainous and highly unpleasant, with fuzzy morals making them true antiheroes. Indeed, we watch these guys stealing from a cartel in the first ten minutes and endeavouring to cover it up, and events only grow more extreme from there. It would be unwise to spoil the surprises within, but rest assured that the story heads off in unexpected directions, leading to a conclusion that one would never expect to see in an Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle.

One of the movie's strengths is its dialogue, which is full of snarky exchanges and macho bantering, reflecting the type of people that Breacher's team are. It's often quite hilarious, and the joking around helps to give the picture a sense of humanity. Unfortunately, though, the task force generally has little dimension - there are a handful of great scenes of team bonding, but there should have been more, and at times it's hard to figure out who's been killed. Storytelling is a bit all over the shop as well, with some choppy editing and a strange narrative flow suggesting that the movie was indeed extensively trimmed by the studio in favour of a more action-oriented finished product. Flat characters are to be expected in B-movies, but Sabotage aspires to be more than a dumb actioner, with Ayer shooting for something closer to Sylvester Stallone's Cop Land. Thus, it insists on a realistic tone but it needs more dimensionality to make it work.

In terms of bruising action, Ayer definitely delivers, orchestrating scene upon scene of insanely violent shootouts and other chaos. Ayer is a filmmaker who prefers practical effects over CGI, hence you feel the impact of every bullet, and the destruction feels real. These are some of the best action set-pieces of Arnie's career, and that's saying something. It's also notable that Ayer predominantly relied on blood squibs as opposed to digital gore, a choice that gives the movie a beautifully lived-in aesthetic. The performances are a little bit flat across the board, but the ensemble is generally good enough. Schwarzenegger is well-suited to the role of Breacher, looking convincing as he uses big guns and chomps on cigars. The hulking star is visibly getting older, but he looks credible in combat here, and he can still deliver one-liners and use firearms with confidence. Also strong here is Sam Worthington as Monster, one of the members of Breacher's squad. It's a refreshing change of pace for the actor, and he's actually a believable badass. Joe Manganiello, meanwhile, is likewise convincing as Grinder, while the likes of Terence Howard and Josh Holloway give further flavour to the Breacher's task force. But it's Mireille Enos who steals the show as the insane, coked-up Lizzy, spouting endless profanity and killing with little compunction.

In the end, it's hard to warm up to Sabotage or really love it, but it's easy to enjoy the various set-pieces staged with a sure hand, and it's fascinating to see Arnie playing a dark antihero. Still, one can't help but wonder what the rumoured original three-hour cut is like, and wonder if the various flaws in storytelling and character development could be rectified in a future home video release.

6.6/10

"We might be staring down the barrel of a full-scale invasion..."

Although Warner Brothers have been producing DC Universe Animated Original Movies since 2007, the resultant productions have not exactly abided by a shared continuity, instead telling standalone stories without a real through-line. This all changes with 2014's Justice League: War, as it's intended to be the beginning of a linked franchise of animated superhero movies, not unlike what Marvel has achieved with their live-action blockbuster franchise. Starting afresh, War is an origins story for the titular superhero gang, designed to follow the DC Comics "New 52" reboot which kicked off in 2011. An adaptation of the six-issue Justice League: Origins series, War is a blast on its own merits; a fun, action-packed superhero outing with all the bluster and bombast that comic book fans will be anticipating. However, greatness lies just out of its reach, and the fact that it falls so short of becoming a masterpiece is frustrating indeed.

War chronicles the beginnings of the Justice League of America, consisting of Batman (Jason O'Mara), Superman (Alan Tudyk), Green Lantern (Justin Kirk), Flash (Christopher Gorham), Wonder Woman (Michelle Monaghan), Cyborg (Shemar Moore) and Shazam (Sean Astin). Mysterious explosive devices begin appearing in major cities, planted by alien creatures, which compels the various heroes to stop bickering, put aside their egos, and work together to stop an alien invasion led by merciless planet terraformer Darkseid (Steve Blum).

Running at a mere 79 minutes, there's unfortunately not enough breathing room here to do the narrative justice, as the movie takes a number of shortcuts to introduce the main heroes and the villains, and develop the storyline about Earth's destruction. It's disappointing that the movie was not split into two features (a la The Dark Knight Returns), but Heath Corson's script does about the best job possible in the limited timeframe, giving the ensemble proper introductions and bringing them together in a natural-feeling way. Nevertheless, there isn't a lot of depth to the heroes, a flaw felt most glaringly in Wonder Woman, who's too comical. Furthermore, the dialogue is often sophomoric and pedestrian, with the characters given snarky, jokey banter to disperse which doesn't always work. It's clear that the movie was deliberately designed to compete with The Avengers, but it's only marginally effective. The Avengers had the benefit of a 150-minute running time, far more money, and Joss Whedon's witty screenwriting tongue - there's simply no comparison between the two.

Justice League: War was directed by DCU mainstay Jay Oliva, who also oversaw The Dark Knight Returns and Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox. Oliva has a flair for colourful action scenes, and War delivers in spades, creatively allowing the superheroes to utilise their various abilities in combat without going too over-the-top. The production's centrepiece is the extended city-wide scuffle with Darkseid and various aliens, which takes up the entirety of the third act. It's interesting to see the various heroes putting aside their differences and bonding for the greater good, and the movie seriously delivers when we get to watch these guys working together. Admittedly, the animation remains strictly average, with shortcuts clearly having been taken for various sequences. It does look like an animated television show at times, but it nevertheless does its job well enough considering the budgetary limitations. Plus, the movie's opening titles are hugely impressive; a stylised succession of comic book panels which set the tone beautifully.

The design of each of the superheroes has been updated for DC's New 52 series, with Batman now donning a gorgeous suit of rock-solid armour, while Superman wears darker colours, and so on. While the "classic" outfits of prior animated features were acceptable, it's nice to see the franchise get a visual makeover, especially since Batman's fabric costume has always looked a bit silly. Fortunately, the voice actors are fairly solid across the board. O'Mara is an underrated actor who's never really gotten his due recognition, and he's a robust Batman, with a gruff voice that also has a degree of charm to it. In the absence of fan favourite Kevin Conroy, this is about the best we can rightly expect. The wonderful Michelle Monaghan is also on hand to voice Wonder Woman, and she gives the role plenty of spunk and spirit despite the character's one-dimensional disposition. Meanwhile, Alan Tudyk is a bit nondescript as Superman, and Justin Kirk overdoes the jokey demeanour of Green Lantern. Faring better is Sean Astin as Shazam, while the rest of the cast hit their marks respectably.

Justice League: War is merely a good animated superhero movie as opposed to a great one. It's definitely enjoyable, but it falls short of its potential - there's no getting around the fact that the story is all over the shop and a 79-minute runtime is hopelessly insufficient. It's worth noting that while these movies are often for kids, the violence here is perhaps a tad too excessive for more sensitive viewers, though it's not too bad. There's also a mid-credits scene to potentially set up a future title in the DCU canon, once again highlighting that this new series is taking its cues from the Marvel handbook of superhero franchises.

7.1/10

"Peevy, you'd pay to see a man fly, wouldn't you?"

Before comic book adaptations became a dime a dozen in the 21st Century, such ventures were risky gambles for studios. Although 1978's Superman and Tim Burton's Batman were massive money-makers, other endeavours were less successful at the box office. One such financial flop was 1991's The Rocketeer, a Disney-produced adaptation of the series of graphic novels by Dave Stevens. Best described as Iron Man meets Captain America by way of Indiana Jones, it's easy to fall in love with this gem, as its sense of sincerity and spirit remains completely enchanting all these years on. With director Joe Johnston embracing the serial tone of the source material, The Rocketeer is a delightfully-assembled superhero feature, a robust demonstration of how to properly adapt a comic for the big screen.

Set in 1938, ambitious pilot Cliff Secord (Billy Campbell) and his loyal mechanic Peevy (Alan Arkin) seek to make it big in aerial racing, but their prized plane is destroyed. In the aftermath, the boys discover a stolen jetpack designed by Howard Hughes (Terry O'Quinn), and decide to use it for personal gain rather than returning it to the government. Before long, Secord straps on the jetpack, becoming a high-flying superhero known to the public as The Rocketeer. However, there are others who want the rocket - not only the government, but also a group of mobsters working for dashing Hollywood movie star Neville Sinclair (Timothy Dalton). Secord's actress girlfriend Jenny (Jennifer Connelly) also becomes unwittingly involved.

Luckily, the years have been extremely kind to The Rocketeer - it has lost none of its appeal over the past few decades. The movie's detractors often claim that nostalgia plays a large part in anyone's enjoyment of it, but I watched the movie for the first time as a 23-year-old, and found it enrapturing. The Rocketeer works because it's not an idiotic special effects demo reel, but rather a proper movie, with a fully-fleshed narrative which permits room for dramatic growth and character development. Sure, there's not much depth at play here or anything, but it excels in the areas which matter the most.

Johnston worked behind the scenes on Raiders of the Lost Ark, and was visibly aiming for an Indiana Jones vibe here. He also doesn't baulk from firearms or shootouts, and such sequences have genuine punch (as opposed to the PG-13 shite of today). Some of the grisly deaths are a bit unexpected since this is a Disney movie, but The Rocketeer was produced in the 1990s, back before the studio's over-the-top political correctness resulted in live-action movies like John Carter and Old Dogs. But although it's hard-edged, The Rocketeer knows how to have fun, and a "dark and gritty" take on the source material would be utterly boring. Johnston maintains a sugary matinee vibe that's thoroughly infectious, and there's a smattering of intentional cheese which helps to make the movie so damn entertaining. Johnston also embraces several staples of old-school Hollywood - there are gangsters, Tommy guns, moustache-twirling villains, feds, and even Nazis.

Disney wound up spending more money than expected on the flick, and every cent appears on-screen, with lavish production values and stylish visuals, not to mention competent filmmaking right down the line. When Cliff straps on the jetpack, The Rocketeer undeniably roars to life - the solid direction coupled with James Horner's hugely flavoursome score provokes goosebumps with seemingly little effort. These are the types of action sequences which make you stand up and cheer with a big dumb grin on your face, and they're every bit as entertaining today as they were over twenty years ago. Although ILM's special effects look a tad dated at times, it hardly matters. And besides, the old-school effects contribute to the film's retro charm. However, the lack of action is a bit disappointing. There's a lot of build-up as Cliff gets accustomed to his flaming backpack, but the heroic payoff is rather minuscule. The picture does work on its own terms, but more scenes of confident rocketeeting would've made for a more satisfying experience.

As Cliff, the little-known Billy Campbell was always an odd choice, but he nails it, showing he had the chops to become an A-list star. Campbell comes across as a sweet guy, but he also has a rougher side to him, and looks believable as he throws punches and flies around with the jetpack. As the token love interest, Connelly is drool-worthy eye candy. She was only 20 years old at the time of filming, and looks absolutely gorgeous, not to mention she has talent to boot. Added to this, Connelly looks every bit like a '30s-era starlet, making her an ideal pick for the role. Also great is former 007 Timothy Dalton, who's pitch-perfect as the arrogant Errol Flynn-esque star, while also succeeding as a moustache-twirling bad guy. It's a hammy performance and his German accent is questionable, but Dalton fits in with the tone of the enterprise beautifully. In the supporting cast, Arkin is terrific, while the likes of Terry O'Quinn and Paul Sorvino make a great impression.

Disney wanted The Rocketeer to become a franchise, but it barely recouped its production costs at the box office and sequel plans were killed, much to the disappointment of many. Ultimately, severe mismarketing is to blame for The Rocketeer's humiliating box office death, as the House of Mouse portrayed the picture as too much of a kiddie fare. The widely used one-sheet poster was beautifully retro but niche, and even the Blu-ray cover art makes the movie out to be far softer than it is. Indeed, Disney's marketing needed to emphasise the material's harder edge to make it an easier sell for the adults. Since the lack of jetpack action is perhaps the movie's only disappointment, it's a true cinematic crime that the planned trilogy never came to pass. It's particularly deflating since the movie would lead directly into a sequel, and you walk away wanting to spend more time with these characters. Nevertheless, it's at least comforting to know that we'll always have this 1991 gem in our video libraries for many years to come.

8.1/10

"You're different. You don't fit into a category. They can't control you. They call it Divergent. You can't let them find out about you."

Based on the novel by Veronica Roth, 2014's Divergent is yet another attempt to adapt a young adult novel series for the big screen, following in the shadow of Twilight and The Hunger Games. But rather than a promising opening instalment in a potential franchise, Divergent is a total misfire, crippled by an air of utter blandness all the way through to its core. It's perhaps marginally more watchable than the apocalyptic disaster that this reviewer had anticipated, but that's hardly a ringing endorsement. Although the seeds of an interesting story are here, director Neil Burger fails to give adequate life to the material, resulting in a lethally dull, plodding, agonisingly overlong sci-fi effort featuring a cast of wooden underwear models.

In the aftermath of a devastating nuclear war that crippled the world, humanity is reborn into a tightly-ordered society split into five factions: Abnegation, Amity, Candor, Dauntless, and Erudite. As children reach adulthood, they are compelled to choose their faction, undergoing a test that recommends their destiny. An Abnegation native, Beatrice (Shailene Woodley) is tested and deemed to be Divergent, meaning her personal drive goes beyond the factions, and she cannot be controlled. Covering up the truth in fear of lethal repercussions, Beatrice chooses Dauntless as her new faction, rechristening herself under the name of Tris as she commences a gruelling training regiment designed to weed out the weak. Immediately, Beatrice stands out to leader Four (Theo Games), who offers warmth as she struggles to find her place and keep her secret hidden. Added to this, Erudite's ultimate plan for Dauntless is gradually revealed, which compels Beatrice to take action.

Out of all the Y.A. adaptations from the past few years, Divergent is the most formulaic, right down to its structure and messages. Comparisons will immediately be drawn between The Hunger Games and Divergent, as both are sci-fi stories set in a dystopian society featuring a strong female protagonist determined to lead a rebellion against a corrupt government force, and there's romance in the air to boot. The story also adheres to the well-worn formula of using a conventional fantasy/sci-fi setting as a metaphor for the American high school system, and the fact that Beatrice/Tris is different is just an obvious allegory for adolescent problems. After all, Tris doesn't feel that she can fulfil the adult world's expectations of her, and she abhors the society of crushing conformity in which she cannot fit in. So, basically, Tris' experience is what's known as being a teenager, allowing the target demographic to believe that all of their weird personality traits and self-centred angst actually makes them The Chosen One. See how easy and trite all this hogwash truly is? Wasn't this stuff already covered well enough in Twilight? Harry Potter? The Hunger Games? Sure, originality is borderline impossible in this day and age, but would a bit of innovation be too much to ask, especially since these stories are always about standing out from the norm and not conforming?

Divergent is in dire need of a more judicious editor, as it drags on and on for the better part of 140 minutes. While the runtime might seem necessary to flesh out the characters and the story, a lot of flab could easily be trimmed, as the movie feels punishing rather than rewarding as the finish line approaches. Indeed, there are at least four or five climaxes when the movie seems to be on the verge of ending, only for another complication to arise. There's no sense of tension to the build-up, with a large chunk of the runtime dedicated to humdrum training sequences ripped from the likes of Starship Troopers and Ender's Game, while Tris forges relationships with thankless supporting characters who won't matter until the sequel. Scene after scene falls flat, in need of zippier pacing and a sense of momentum that should accompany this dystopian panic.

Despite decent production values, Divergent feels more like a television show pilot as opposed to a big-screen epic. Hell, some sci-fi shows like Almost Human actually have more grandeur than what's glimpsed here. Perhaps one of the film's biggest issues is that this futuristic vision is not engaging or exciting in the least - it's painfully generic, and there's not enough flair to Burger's direction to compensate for the monotonous visual scheme. The Hunger Games at least bothered to green-screen the cast into some type of vision of the future; here, Tris and her pals run around cheap sets and bland ruined city locales. Admittedly, the enterprise does grow more interesting as the action-oriented climax approaches, and Burger handles the shootouts with some competency, but the experience up until this point is too numbing and ponderous that it doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things.

Although Woodley has proven talent, she's an unremarkable protagonist here, paling in comparison to Jennifer Lawrence. It's unclear whether the blame falls on Burger or Woodley, but Beatrice/Tris is shockingly one-note from start to finish, showing no palpable growth as she develops from meek girl to determined revolutionary. Not to mention, the completely contrived love story between Beatrice and Four gains precisely no traction - rather than a relationship that grows organically, the subplot feels awkwardly shoehorned in for the sake of formula. The rest of the actors are utterly personality-free, and there isn't a bad-looking specimen in sight - the casting call must have explicitly stated "abs required." Theo James is simply one of those Channing Tatum types who's destined to become confused with ten other actors, while Woodley's The Spectacular Now co-star Miles Teller displays the acting prowess of a fire hydrant. Tragically, the proven actors of the cast are mostly relegated to thankless supporting roles. Maggie Q has maybe ten minutes of screen-time with no action moments, while Ray Stevenson achieves precisely nothing and Kate Winslet sleep-walks through a flat villain role. Meanwhile, Ashley Judd does what she can with the material, but watching her run around playing action hero only provokes unintentional hilarity.

The Hunger Games truly found its footing and soared for its 2013 sequel, Catching Fire, and it would be a satisfying surprise to see the planned Divergent sequels attain similar success. As it is, this opening entry is a stillborn, and it's difficult to become at all involved or interested in all the on-screen malarkey. It might work for unfussy viewers as it's watchable from time to time, but there's so much wasted potential here.

4.2/10

"Everyday I wake up knowing that no matter how many lives I protect, no matter how many people call me a hero, someone even more powerful could change everything."

Although 2012's The Amazing Spider-Man earned a healthy $750 million at the worldwide box office, it was a missed opportunity all-round, a careless reboot that fell short of the Sam Raimi-directed trilogy that preceded it. Hoping to persist with a sprawling Spider-Man franchise to compete with Marvel, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 manages to correct several of the issues of its predecessor, as it's a smoother ride that benefits from superior technical execution. Unfortunately, this follow-up is still burdened by a tremendously messy script - it's overstuffed and tries to do far too much throughout its agonisingly prolonged 140-minute runtime. The cameras did begin rolling for this sequel barely six months following the release of the 2012 film, which is not exactly a sign that the writing process was deemed to be overly important in the grand scheme of things. The result may be mildly watchable as a summer blockbuster, but it's not a keeper by any means - it's a forgettable, half-baked mishmash of the comic book's greatest hits, without much in the way of emotional heft.

Now a high school graduate, Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Andrew Garfield) is struggling to maintain his relationship with girlfriend Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone). Still haunted by the death of her father, Peter finds himself conflicted, realising it might be better for Gwen's wellbeing if he simply left her alone. Meanwhile, geeky, socially awkward Spider-Man fanatic Max Dillon (Jamie Foxx) is involved in an after-hours workplace incident at Oscorp, turning him into Electro and giving him the ability to manipulate electricity. Peter also attempts to reconnect with old friend Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan), who's reeling from the death of his father Norman (Chris Cooper). Learning that he will ultimately die from his father's disease, Harry begins seeking a cure and hopes that Spider-Man's blood might bestow him with the ability to self-heal. But the unstable Harry is thrown over the edge when he's fired from his father's company, leading him to enlist the help of Electro in order to get what he wants.

While bits and pieces of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 do work, the narrative as a whole is a huge mess; a collection of scenes and set-pieces without a proper through-line. The plot is ostensibly about Peter working to defeat Electro while dealing with his relationship complications, but the majority of the narrative tracks Peter playing Sherlock Holmes as he endeavours to figure out what happened to his parents. As a consequence, Electro feels like a real wasted opportunity, as he develops into too much of a fringe threat when he should be the primary focus. Worse, the mystery of Peter's parents still leaves questions to be answered in future instalments, and the arc feels utterly incomplete. But perhaps the biggest insult is the ending - the film continues beyond its logical closure point, ultimately cutting to black in the middle of a skirmish that will lead directly into Film 3. It's the equivalent of tagging the first ten minutes of The Dark Knight onto the end of Batman Begins. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 basically feels like a trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man 3, rather than a compelling standalone story.

Unfortunately, villainous motivations are entirely lacking here. Max's transformation into the Big Bad Guy™ is half-baked and slipshod - he's established as a stereotypical loner who opts to use his powers simply to get himself noticed by his peers, but Max's decision to attack the city and kill Spider-Man has no motivation behind it. Harry's characterisation is similarly slipshod - he becomes the villainous Green Goblin simply because the script demands it. Raimi's films might get flack in hindsight, but each of the villains in his trilogy was given sufficiently believable reasons to turn to villainy, and some even saw the error of their ways. It would seem that the script here relies on the flimsy comic logic of "superpowers = villain," but this rocky justification clashes with the serious tone. The Twilight influence is still very much in evidence here, too - the on-and-off relationship between Peter and Gwen is ripped directly from New Moon, with the characters wanting to be together but Peter realising he's putting his girlfriend in jeopardy.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 also continues to distance itself from the Raimi trilogy by changing up aspects of the mythology, but again most of the alterations are outright wrong-headed. As it turns out, Peter was more or less destined to become Spider-Man, a moronic decision which completely erodes Peter's status as an accidental hero. Added to this, Oscorp is basically behind everything that happens throughout the film - the creation of Electro, Harry's transformation to the Green Goblin, and even the construction of all the tech that will be utilised by future villains. And just for good measure, pretty much everything else is linked to Oscorp - Gwen and Max are both employees, Peter's father also worked for Oscorp and was killed whilst on the run from them, and so on. It's far too convenient, and, like I said in my review of the previous movie, it makes a sprawling universe of possibilities feel small and riddled with coincidence. Worse, it feels as if various cosmetic changes were made simply to distance this film from the Raimi trilogy, rather than feeling organic to this new franchise.

To his credit, Webb is beginning to find his feet as a blockbuster filmmaker - The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a livelier flick than its predecessor, adopting a more colourful look as opposed to the desaturated visuals of the 2012 movie. The action beats are more competent for this go-round as well, and anyone seeking conventionally "cool" summertime entertainment will likely walk away satisfied. Unfortunately, though, Webb leans on the slow-motion stuff way too much, and the overly digital look of such moments completely takes you out of the experience. There's a bold occurrence late into the climax which almost manages to generate emotion, but Webb mostly mucks it up by using gratuitous slo-mo, excessive CGI, and plenty of distractions to make it look "awesome," reminding us that this is a blockbuster engineered to appeal to ADHD-inflicted teenagers. On a more positive note, the dramatic moments do work much better, and the pacing is more sure-footed. The script gives Peter some amusing moments of smarminess amid the action, which do work more often than not. The 3-D is an improvement over the last movie, though it's still mostly underwhelming and disposable.

Garfield's confused Peter Parker interpretation returns for this instalment. It's an inconsistent performance, and the script still can't figure out who this character is beyond a generic Edward Cullen clone. It's once again Stone who runs away with the entire film, showing that she's both a perfect Gwen Stacy and an ideal female lead. It's just a shame that the material is far below Stone's immense talents. Meanwhile, in the role of Max/Electro, Foxx is almost a total bust. As Max, his verbal bluster is over-the-top and the character is too exaggerated to be believable, while as Electro he doesn't own the screen like a primary villain should. Furthermore, there's no continuity between Max and Electro, as he turns into an entirely different person after the accident for no good reason. Paul Giamatti also shows up as a criminal who will presumably take centre stage in the next sequel, but it's hard to take the character seriously - he's a cartoon through-and-through, clashing with Webb's insistence on a realistic tone. It doesn't work. Likewise betrayed by the material is DeHaan, who pretty much replicates his performance from the superior Chronicle, only without the depth and consistency. The movie also wastes the chance for a Stan Lee cameo, squandering him for a completely forgettable one-scene role.

Ultimately, much like its predecessor, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is more concerned with looking towards future films than it is with providing a cohesive, satisfying standalone motion picture. It keeps shuffling forward, deploying more characters who won't mean much until the next one (Mary-Jane Watson was in the movie initially, played by Shailene Woodley, but her scenes were cut in post-production) and hinting at what's going to happen in further sequels. While this type of set-up might be acceptable in a television series with a new episode each week, such content is completely unsatisfying in major motion pictures, as they're a far scarcer commodity. Marvel Studios tease future instalments in their movies, sure, but said features have their own individual stories to tell, mostly saving the teases for post-credits scenes. Iron Man 2 was the only Marvel movie that blatantly existed to set up The Avengers, and it's widely regarded as one of the studio's weakest efforts. Look, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is an enjoyable mess, but it's a mess nevertheless. Peter doesn't undergo much of an arc throughout the story, and the movie isn't really about anything - it plays out as an expensive toy commercial without any thematic relevance, humanity, or depth. We deserve better.

5.0/10