Reviews by PvtCaboose91

"We're starting a 24-hour news channel!"

2004's Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy might not have set the box office on fire, but the ensuing years have been kind to the film, as it generated a post-theatrical cult following and made a killing in home video sales. It's a pop culture staple, and nine years later it's still quoted by its doting fans on a continual basis. It took almost a decade, but Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues has finally come together after years of false starts, with the now all-star cast reuniting to reprise the roles that have become ingrained in popular culture. It's not as snappy as the previous film, and it's missing the unique spark of pure insanity, but Anchorman 2 is by no means a disappointment, as it's loaded with belly-laughs and effective satire. It's incredibly stupid, of course, but it's sure to deliver if you're a fan of this type of humour.

Now married, Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) are successful in the television industry, holding steady jobs and living affluently in NYC. But Ron is fired by boss Mack (Harrison Ford) while Veronica is offered a promotion, breaking the pair apart. Some months later, Ron has self-destructed, but is soon offered a gig with up-and-coming cable news channel GNN that plans to run 24 hours a day. It's the perfect opportunity to reunite the old Channel 4 news team, with Ron recruiting hotshot reporter Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), screwball weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carell), and overzealous sportscaster Champ Kind (David Koechner). Immediately locking horns with arrogant go-getter Jack Lime (James Marsden), Ron and his team look to up their game in order to bring in the ratings and prove themselves to network head Linda Jackson (Meagan Good).

With Ferrell and director Adam McKay having also teamed up for Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and Step Brothers, this second Anchorman very much foregrounds the type of daft guy humour that these boys are known for. There's nothing cerebral here, as the movie shifts from set-piece to set-piece connected by a thin narrative, allowing the talented performers to strut their improvisation stuff and spout outrageous zingers at every opportunity. It's clear most of the jokes were improvised, but the sense of spontaneity is what keeps Anchorman 2 so alive, and McKay had the good sense to not dwell on jokes for too long. (Enough footage was actually filmed to facilitate an alternate edit with new jokes replacing the dialogue in the theatrical cut.) Considering all of the ad-libbing on display, it's hard to fathom exactly what the script (credited to McKay and Ferrell) actually consisted of. Admittedly, none of the Anchorman movies are overly proficient from a technical perspective, with very basic cinematography and some shoddy editing, but these shortcomings hardly matter in the grand scheme of things.

Unfortunately, after two acts of borderline perfection, Anchorman 2 eventually begins to wear out its welcome, hitting a spotty third act that's in need of more energy and snappier pacing. McKay attempts to do something sweet and heartfelt to give Ron a suitable character arc, but it's just too drawn out, and the picture did not need to run for almost two hours. There are also a few subplots that feel superfluous, including a corporate synergy scheme that would have been better kept on the cutting room floor. Nevertheless, there's still lots to appreciate about Anchorman 2, which especially springs to life for its knockout climax. But what's most notable about the film is its biting satire, delving into the absence of journalistic integrity on broadcast television in favour of sensationalism for the sake of ratings. McKay does have a bit to say on the subject, taking none-too-subtle jabs against Fox News and CNN. Ron also falls victim to his own hubris, which makes for an interesting angle.

In the years since Anchorman, Ferrell has emerged as a prominent comedic performer, but he was born to play Ron Burgundy. All of the actors here have gone onto bigger things since the first movie, but they slip back into these iconic roles as if no time has passed. Ferrell is ideal here, embracing his man-child persona yet again and basking in the freedom to go as over-the-top as he wants. Carell, meanwhile, unsurprisingly steals the show, dispersing an endless array of hilariously idiotic dialogue and committing to the character 110%. The decision to insert Kristen Wiig into the picture was an excellent one; she's perfectly matched playing Brick's love interest, Chani. Her role is every bit as nutty and quirky as Brick, and the pairing of Carell and Wiig lights up the screen, providing pure comedy dynamite. Rudd and Koechner are perfectly good as well, not to mention veteran Harrison Ford demonstrates that he has excellent comedic instincts. Other notable newcomers include Aussie funny-man Josh Lawson who's highly amusing as a media tycoon, and Marsden who has a few moments to shine as Burgundy's rival.

Anchorman 2 features a huge array of surprise celebrity cameos, as well, which absolutely cannot be spoiled here. Suffice it to say, there's a magnificent comedic set-piece within the picture that's packed with cameos, and had this reviewer roaring in fits of laughter. It's perfectly played, and the cameos are so completely random and satisfying, hence one can easily imagine this sequence being quoted and discussed ad nauseam for many years to come.

All things considered, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues is not quite the knockout sequel that we all hoped for, but it's a perfectly entertaining, often hilarious follow-up that retains the spirit of the first film and doesn't tarnish its legacy. It's somewhat uneven and scattershot, but it manages to stay classy, and it still satisfies both as a funny comedy and as a reunion with cherished old pals. And the fact that it's worthwhile at all is frankly miraculous in the world of cinematic comedy. If you're looking for a fun time at the cinema these Christmas holidays, Anchorman 2 is definitely the way to go. Be sure to sit through the end credits for an additional gag.

7.1/10

"Listen, Scrooge, if men were measured by kindness, you'd be no bigger than a speck of dust."

On top of rote adaptations of Charles Dickens' iconic novella A Christmas Carol, the tale has also been adapted using recognisable characters from certain franchises. Thus, we've seen the likes of Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol and The Muppet Christmas Carol, as well as Mickey's Christmas Carol, a 1983 Disney-produced short which was attached to the theatrical re-release of The Rescuers. There is a certain fatigue to the story due to the surplus of other adaptations, but this retelling does have its merits, and was actually nominated for an Academy Award. Being a Disney production, Mickey's Christmas Carol is bright and energetic, making it a suitably entertaining festive watch for kids and adults alike.

The story here remains unchanged, so only a short synopsis is necessary. Set in Victorian England, greedy businessman Ebenezer Scrooge (Scrooge McDuck, voiced by Alan Young) is one of the most reviled men in London, charging outrageous interest rates and mistreating his sole employee, Bob Cratchit (Mickey Mouse, voiced by Wayne Allwine). Scrooge also hates Christmas, even refusing to join his nephew Fred (Donald Duck, voiced by Clarence Nash) for his annual yuletide dinner. On Christmas Eve, Scrooge is visited by the ghost of his former business partner, Jacob Marley (Goofy, voiced by Hal Smith), who warns Scrooge that he must change his ways or suffer for eternity in the afterlife. Following Marley's visit, Scrooge is visited by three more spirits, who aim to show him the error of his ways and compel him to repent in order to save his soul.

The big drawback of Mickey's Christmas Carol is that it's simply too short at 26 minutes, with its scant timeframe facilitating only a cliff-notes retelling of the source material. Although this allows for a fast-paced short, it needed more breathing room, as the meagre length means that a lot of the details of the story had to be cast aside. It would be foolhardy to expect genuine story depth in a Mickey Mouse movie, granted, but this feels like a bit of a missed opportunity, making Scrooge's arc feel a bit unearned. Admittedly, Dickens' tale is fairly short, but the finished product here feels too short. Admittedly, too, Richard Williams' 1971 animated retelling is one of the best adaptations to date in spite of its 25-minute length, but Williams' storytelling was smarter and stronger, making more of an impact. Mickey's Christmas Carol should have been expanded into a full-blown feature. It's an especially glaring flaw since The Muppet Christmas Carol took a similar approach to Dickens' story, but was much more successful, as it was a faithful and powerful retelling that had the freedom to tell a more complete story.

Despite its detrimentally truncated nature, Mickey's Christmas Carol excels in other aspects. The animators at Disney have done a marvellous job, delivering vibrant, colourful visuals and superbly fluid animation. It definitely has the look of a theatrical Disney feature film with its magnificent technical specs. And though this should've been a longer movie, Mickey's Christmas Carol in its current form is adequate enough, with plenty of charm and some standout sequences. Animation buffs will also enjoy seeing recognisable animated characters inhabiting Dickens' story. On top of appearances from Goofy, Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse, folks like the Big Bad Wolf, the Three Little Pigs and Chip & Dale get cameos, not to mention minor characters from Robin Hood as well. However, it does seem a bit strange that this short is titled Mickey's Christmas Carol, since Mickey's Bob Cratchit is a supporting character with limited screen-time.

All things considered, this version of A Christmas Carol definitely has its charms and will always hold a certain nostalgic appeal for certain folks, but it's very lightweight and doesn't do much with this story that's new or exciting. Indeed, it's just an enjoyable 26 minutes of recognisable Disney characters going through the time-honoured motions. Still, it gets credit for being what it is - you can happily put it on with the family around Christmastime, and it's not surprising that so many people watch it on an annual basis.

6.8/10

"Toys are hereby declared illegal, immoral, unlawful AND anyone found with a toy in his possession will be placed under arrest and thrown in the dungeon. No kidding!'"

In their prime, filmmakers Jules Bass and Arthur Rankin Jr. produced numerous television specials based on popular Christmas songs, including Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and many others. 1970's Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town is another charming holiday special by Rankin-Bass, which was adapted from the popular yuletide song of the same name. It's not quite as captivating as Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town is an endearing little festive gem nevertheless, notable for its playful tone, creative deconstruction of the Claus mythos, and clever approach to long-established Christmas folklore.

Before jolly old Santa Claus (Mickey Rooney) delivered presents to all the girls and boys around the world, he was an orphaned baby adopted by the Kringle family. A family of elves, the Kringles are skilled at making toys, but there are no children to enjoy their creations. Once Kris matures, he volunteers to deliver the countless toys to Sombertown, hoping to brighten the spirits of the kids who live there. Unfortunately, town mayor Burgermeister Meisterburger (Paul Frees) has outlawed all toys and immediately reprimands jolly old Kris. But Kris refuses to let Burgermeister have his way, continuing to distribute playthings around the town, making the Kringle family public enemy number one. Kris' heroism attracts the attention of local teacher Jessica (Robie Lester), who fully supports his acts of defiance against the wicked Burgermeister.

Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town was written by Rankin-Bass' go-to writer, Romeo Muller, who explores all aspects of Santa Claus' origins. Narrated by a mailman named Kluger (Fred Astaire), this hour-long special dissects the development of Kris' selflessness, and covers the origins of his beard, hearty laugh, crew of helpers, need to go down the chimney, North Pole residency (he needs to hide from Burgermeister, after all), and pretty much everything in between, providing a hugely creative look at how Santa came to be. On top of being edifying, it's wonderfully entertaining too, full of delightful set-pieces and tender moments of humour.

Whereas today's moviemakers use 3-D computer animation, Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town was executed with stop-motion technology, using models and sets to painstakingly create each frame. It does look dated and rough at times, not to mention the pacing does occasionally drag, but there's something charming about this primitive technique, especially when you consider just how much work went into every second of screen-time. Rankin-Bass movies often featured impressive casts, with the pair securing at least one or two major names for each production. Santa Claus is Comin' to Town has two big names, with Mickey Rooney and Fred Astaire both lending their vocal talents to the film. Astaire is a huge asset, guiding us through the story with energy and charm. He has a great singing voice, too, which enlivens the numerous musical set-pieces. Rooney, meanwhile, submits well-judged work with plenty of heart.

For over four decades now, Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town has been part of annual Christmastime traditions in many households, and deservingly so. Muller's screenplay covers the origins of many holiday traditions - including hiding gifts in stockings and how reindeer fly - while also delivering an uplifting reminder about the real meaning of the season of giving.

7.8/10

"Do we believe we can win Song For Christmas?!"

2009's Nativity! was such a breath of fresh air because it was clearly not a Hollywood production. Less about cartoonish theatrics and more about warm characters and low-key humour, it's a hugely disarming movie that's far too overlooked. But apparently writer-director Debbie Isitt did not actually watch her own movie, as Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger! lacks all that's great about its predecessor. The understated charm of Nativity! is gone here, resulting in a film that feels corrupted by Hollywood studio executives. Indeed, whereas the original picture worked because it felt so British and real, Nativity 2 feels manufactured and Americanised from the very first frame.

It's Christmastime again at St Bernadette's Primary School, and Mr. Poppy (Marc Wootton) is left to take care of a class of children until a permanent teacher steps into the role. After several would-be teachers are scared off by Mr. Poppy and the kids, Mr. Peterson (David Tennant) steps up to the plate, promised by head teacher Mrs. Bevan (Pam Ferris) that he'll be promoted if we can whip the unruly class into shape. When Mr. Poppy learns of a Song For Christmas competition in Wales, he jumps at the chance to compete, roping in Mr. Peterson despite his objections. Unfortunately, Gordon Shakespeare (Jason Watkins) also wants to enter the competition, and works to sabotage Mr. Poppy and Mr. Peterson, sending them off-course during their travels. Worse, Mr. Peterson's brother Roderick (Tennant again) is an acclaimed musician and has entered a team in the contest as well.

Nativity 2 continually shoots itself in the foot in its early stages, establishing that the story takes place in a fantastical universe rather than the grounded reality of the original picture. Mr. Poppy should have been sacked a long time ago, as he scares off teachers and encourages the kids to be disobedient. Apparently, his familial connections allow him to keep the job, but to this extent is unbelievable. Nativity 2 did not need the added pressure of Mr. Poppy's undisciplined behaviour. After all, it's established that Martin Freeman's character from the first film moved to America, so why couldn't Mr. Peterson have simply come in as his first replacement? Things only get worse as the competition is introduced - Mrs. Bevan's dismissive behaviour is inappropriate, and Mr. Poppy does all kinds of illegal things to get his way. In fact, the whole adventure on the road is ten different kinds of illegal, and it's a wonder why the police aren't called. As stated before, Nativity 2 shows no interest in replicating the charming realness of its genial predecessor, opting for an overblown Hollywood approach closer to Deck the Halls. Sure, the original movie had Freeman taking two kids overseas, but he assumed that he had parental consent. Here, Poppy is literally kidnapping the children.

By the end of the first picture, Shakespeare repented for his selfish behaviour, eating humble pie as he stepped on stage during the nativity show to join in the joyful dancing. Nativity 2 returns Gordon to his former self, setting him up as a selfish cartoon villain who'll do anything to win. Shakespeare's antagonistic behaviour is completely unnecessary in a movie like this, and he feels like an American creation. Worse, Mr. Peterson's twin emerges as a cartoonish villain as well, breaking rules and doing illegal things in order to get his team over the line. The first Nativity! had Shakespeare being competitive and the critic as its 'villain', but neither character was overly mean-spirited. Here, the villains are far too mean-spirited and overblown, making this feel closer to a Hollywood holiday movie.

The Hollywood sensibility carries over to the picture's finale, in which Mr. Peterson's class is finally given the chance to shine with their singing. Despite the fact that the kids are seen doing very little in the way of rehearsals or honing their talent, they manage to wow everyone in the crowd, transforming from regular kids into a superlative singing group. It's a completely forced transformation, and it's not executed in a way that renders it believable or earned. Worse, the overeager crowd reactions are ripped straight from the Hollywood handbook, devoid of the sincerity and earnestness that characterised the first movie. And just when you believe that things cannot get any worse, the final scene arrives, involving a baby being born in a stable. How's that for subtle?

Wootton's character of Mr. Poppy was surprisingly tolerable in the first picture, but here the role is reduced to a one-dimensional caricature who spends the whole movie being a thick-headed moron. There's no depth or honesty to Mr. Poppy for this go-round; he's a run-of-the-mill clown. Tennant fares a lot better, however, emerging as the only thing worth a damn in this movie. But Tennant's talents are utterly squandered here, and it's tragic to see the charismatic performer wasting his time and efforts on material that's clearly below him. Also in the cast is Jessica Hynes (Spaced), who only shows up in the final third of the movie. What a waste.

For fans of 2009's Nativity!, this follow-up is the equivalent of a lump of coal in your Christmas stocking. Admittedly, Nativity 2 is probably geared more towards young children, but the original movie appeals to folks of all ages, be it young or old, hence this type of sequel is just not good enough. It's not funny or heartfelt; all it offers is scenes of witless idiocy, with Tennant looking exasperated as he attempts to reason with Mr. Poppy and understand why his agent got him this role.

2.8/10

"The time globe... Wouldn't be able to keep up with my deliveries if it weren't for this!"

It's difficult to muster up much enthusiasm about 2013's Saving Santa, a completely forgettable Christmas-themed animation that lacks the resources and ingenuity to become an instant classic. Written by stand-up comedian Ricky Roxburgh, it's essentially a hodgepodge of ideas from other well-known holiday movies such as Elf, The Santa Clause and Arthur Christmas, with some Back to the Future thrown in for good measure. It flaunts an impressive voice cast, to be sure, but this is a low-budget feature that went straight-to-video in most major territories, although it received a minor theatrical release in the UK. It's perhaps colourful and brisk enough to hold the attention spans of young kids, but that's simply not good enough, especially with movies like Rise of the Guardians already available in the overcrowded marketplace.

A lowly stable elf, Bernard (Martin Freeman) aspires to someday join the elf elite and become one of Santa's inventors. Attending a meeting with the board hoping to impress them with his newest gadget, Bernard's invention malfunctions, leading to a power blackout across the North Pole. On top of being a mortally embarrassing moment, Bernard's muck-up unexpectedly exposes Santa's secret location to the world. Unfortunately, the wicked Neville Baddington (Tim Curry) has been on the prowl for such an opportunity for years, and grasps the chance to invade the North Pole. Baddington is head of the Quickest Delivery Service, and hopes to steal the secrets of Santa's sleigh in order to render his empire unstoppable. As Baddington descends upon the North Pole with his soldiers, Bernard takes it upon himself to save the day, using Santa's time-travel globe in a bid to prevent catastrophe.

The premise for Saving Santa would be better suited for an hour-long television special, especially since the picture was produced on a low-budget and went straight to disc in most countries anyway. As an 80-minute motion picture, it does not quite work, as Roxburgh's screenplay lacks the wit to justify its length. The zero-to-hero narrative is much too overused by now, and there's not enough creativity to overcome the story's blatant familiarity and predictability. Worse, the movie does not take enough time to flesh out the lead protagonist, rendering him one-dimensional and generic. But perhaps the biggest issue with Saving Santa is that it becomes too convoluted for its own good. Any story involving time-travel is going to be convoluted to some extent, but it's really leaden here, and the myriad of plot complications fail to add up to an engaging experience.

Saving Santa was reportedly produced for about $7.5 million, a scant sum for this type of picture, and the tiny budget is obvious in the visuals. Compared to the lush extravagance of DreamWorks and Pixar productions, the animation here is basic at best, without the polish, dynamicity or fine detail that we would expect from a 2013 release. Admittedly, it is colourful, and there are some nice musical numbers scattered throughout the narrative of varying quality, but the screenplay isn't strong enough to compensate for the mediocre visual presentation. It would seem that a great deal of the budget was blown on the cast, who are surprisingly high calibre for a movie like this. Martin Freeman is amiable enough as the well-meaning Bernard, but the most memorable performer is Tim Curry, who's delightfully over-the-top and hammy as the film's villain. Also present is Joan Collins, who's unfortunately given practically nothing to do, while Noel Clarke and Ashley Tisdale are wasted on bland, single-note roles. But perhaps the most disappointing missed opportunity is Chris Barrie as Blitzen. One of Bernard's inventions allows Blitzen to speak, but not in English, leaving Barrie to say a handful of lines in a foreign language. It's a terrible idea in execution, as it forbids potentially amusing back-and-forth between Freeman and Barrie. If you're going to use Barrie, use him properly!

Although Bernard dreams of big things and is ultimately able to achieve his dreams, Saving Santa wants to be a holiday mainstay but is destined to be forgotten. The broad strokes are okay, but the execution is slipshod, with leaden storytelling and witless scripting exacerbating the unremarkable visuals. Much like a Christmas present that you quickly get bored with and never touch again, Saving Santa will quickly fade from your memory.

4.1/10

"Jennifer is coming. And she's bringing everyone from her agency."

Hollywood enjoys using the festive season as an excuse to fill multiplexes with Christmas-themed garbage, leading to dreck like Four Christmases, Surviving Christmas, Christmas with the Kranks, and too many more to list. It's rather pleasant, then, to witness a film like 2009's Nativity!, a low-budget British export that surpasses Hollywood's typical output by a considerable margin. To be sure, Nativity! is corny and predictable, but it's pitched at the right tone, with enough sincerity and sweetness to prevent it from feeling forced or manufactured. This is a lovely movie for the whole family - it's both funny and moving, and it stands up to repeat viewings. It's not exactly a classic, but it's enjoyable and it makes you feel good inside, which is far more than what can be said for most American holiday movies.

A primary school teacher, Paul Maddens (Martin Freeman) detests the holiday season, assuming a "bah, humbug" attitude after his long-time girlfriend Jennifer (Ashley Jensen) dumped him under the mistletoe. With Jennifer now working in Hollywood, Paul is stuck in his unfulfilling job, but things only get worse when he's forced to direct his school's Christmas pageant. Paul's last attempt at a Christmas show only led to humiliation, which was made all the more painful by the fact that his former pal Gordon Shakespeare (Jason Watkins) directed an acclaimed show at a local private school in the same year. Added to this, Paul is given a new teaching aid in the form of Mr. Poppy (Marc Wootton), an overgrown man-child who only got the job due to family connections. Determined to beat Gordon this year, Paul grasps the opportunity to direct the show, doing his best to whip the kids into shape. However, in a moment of poor judgement, Paul tells Gordon that Jennifer will be attending the show and bringing Hollywood with her, a lie that's accepted as truth by Mr. Poppy...who makes sure that the news spreads all over town.

The story eventually climaxes with Paul's colourful nativity play, which is full of singing and dancing. The real brilliance of this sequence is that the show is genuinely entertaining and well-staged, yet it doesn't feel beyond the talents of the characters involved. It will leave you smiling with plenty of joy in your heart, which is exactly what you want from a contemporary Christmas movie.

To be sure, the story of Nativity! is nothing original - in fact, there are similarities to School of Rock - but it's writer-director Debbie Isitt's execution that allows the material to soar. Reportedly, a great deal of the movie was improvised by Isitt and the cast, which is probably why it feels so real. There's even a montage of kids auditioning for the play that's actually very funny, and one gets the sense that Isitt is not simply on the prowl for laughs or manipulative emotion. Indeed, Nativity! is funny without resorting to cheap laughs, and it's geared towards families but it never insults one's intelligence. It also delivers joyful, heartfelt and positive messages without ever becoming preachy or over-the-top. In other words, it's clearly not Hollywood.

Isitt nails the small-town English sensibility, and you really feel that you're being given an inside look at a real-life primary school class. The set dressing is particularly convincing, while Isitt also incorporates other distinct details of primary school, including lackadaisical morning greetings. There's no trace of artificiality in the acting, not even in the little kids, which is extraordinary. Perhaps the improvisational approach is to thank for this, as the children are so delightfully charming and natural that you perpetually look forward to their next appearance. Also remarkable is Wootton, whose character of Mr. Poppy should be an irritating caricature, but turns out to be a truly likeable presence. But the star of the show is Freeman, whose sheer warmth and earnestness is a huge asset. Freeman wholly commits to the role and you believe that he cares about the kids, not to mention he gives convincing emotional depth to Paul.

Whereas most holiday-themed films arrive with aggressive marketing campaigns, Nativity! is more modest, with its humble origins and understated reputation making it all the more appealing. While it does end in a very predictable fashion, it shouldn't have concluded any other way. It's formula through-and-through, but it works against all odds. Compared to the contrived, schmalzy, hokey Christmas films that we see too much of, Nativity! feels more real and warm, recognising that honest-to-goodness sincerity is far more effective than manufactured emotion. It's delightful family-friendly viewing, and it's absolutely worth watching around the festive season unless you're a total Scrooge.

7.2/10

"You have a good job, you make good money, and you don't beat your wife. What more could a Latino father-in-law ask for?"

To state the obvious, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is not aimed at the demographic who enjoy watching Miracle on 34th Street or It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve. Rather, this is a raunchy, profane, R-rated stoner comedy better suited for those who prefer unorthodox Christmas films more in line with Bad Santa. The law of diminishing returns is not in effect here, as this third theatrical instalment in the Harold & Kumar franchise is arguably better than its predecessors - it's a smooth, hugely enjoyable comedic ride, and its target audience will no doubt be satisfied. Best of all, one does not need to be a fan of Harold and Kumar to enjoy this festive-themed entry.

In the years since the last movie, Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) have grown apart, with Kumar never having abandoned his immature drugs & booze lifestyle while Harold is living in the suburbs with his partner, Maria (Paula Garcés). Anxious to impress his father-in-law (Danny Trejo) during a visit from Maria's extended family, Harold accepts the responsibility of decorating a rare family Christmas tree while everyone else attends yuletide festivities. When a package for Harold shows up on Kumar's doorstep, he decides to deliver it to his old friend, which reunites the pair. Unfortunately, Kumar's visit results in the Christmas tree being set alight, leaving Harold horrified and anxious to locate a replacement with mere hours to spare.

In terms of plotting, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is completely flimsy, as it relies on an overly familiar set-up beset with conventional plot points. In fact, the premise is fairly reminiscent of Jingle All the Way, as the quest to find a suitable tree suffers continual drawbacks. To the credit of writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg (veterans of the franchise), the clichéd broad strokes are often coloured in with brilliant comedic set-pieces, but at other times one can literally hear the gears of the plot grinding into place, especially with Harold and Kumar making up through their adventure. Or, most egregiously, the "Do you know what I've been through tonight?" speech, a trope that seriously needs to be retired.

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is not a movie you will want to watch with your parents or grandparents on Christmas Eve unless they actually enjoy crass films of this ilk. Indeed, the flick is about as tasteful as a Jim Jefferies stand-up special, full of profanity, drug use and content to offend pretty much everyone, but it's all delivered with enough wit to make it work if you're in the proper mindset. There are even some sly sight gags that had this reviewer howling with laughter. Nothing is safe - religion and homosexuality are skewered, and there's even a Claymation sequence parodying classic Rankin/Bass holiday specials in which Kumar whips out an enormous clay penis. And just to show that nothing is out of bounds for these guys, a little girl is seen getting high on marijuana and cocaine...before taking an ecstasy tablet. If any of this sounds too offensive for you, don't watch it.

Hurwitz and Schlossberg helmed the previous Harold & Kumar adventures, but relinquished the director's seat here to Todd Strauss-Schulson, as the pair were busy with American Reunion. The change in directors is seamless, and Strauss-Schulson thankfully gives bright, energetic life to the screenplay. The pacing is admittedly a tad uneven, but the flick really soars when it clicks into gear. A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas was planned and shot with the intention of being seen in 3D, which thankfully yields a magnificent experience. In fact, the movie is best watched in 3D, as the extra-dimensional effects enhance the fun. This is not subtle, immersive 3D - it's gimmicky, in-your-face 3D solely for comedic effect. Pretty much every scene features things popping out of the screen at you, from marijuana smoke to the aforementioned clay penis. Added to this, there are little jabs against 3D in the dialogue (when presented with a 3D TV, Harold asks "Hasn't the whole 3D thing jumped the shark by now?"). As a result, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is a sly satire of the 3D craze, enhancing the picture's humour.

Neil Patrick Harris is a veteran of the Harold and Kumar movies, and he shows up yet again here, representing one of the picture's highlights. Harris has always been a great sport in these flicks, playing an exaggerated version of himself who's debauched and drug-addicted. Since NPH is now openly gay, the script incorporates this in a hilarious way (Harris' real-life partner cameos). It's clear that the actor had an absolute ball here in this wildly over-the-top role, and you'll be left wanting to see more of him after he exits the film. Still, he doesn't feel underused, as this version of NPH works best as a scene-stealing supporting character. Fortunately, the rest of the cast are all sound as well, with Penn and Cho sliding back into their roles with ease. Patton Oswalt even has a cameo as a mall Santa which is a brief but nice addition, and the casting of Danny Trejo as Maria's intimidating father is fucking inspired. There's a colourful supporting cast as well, including Thomas Lennon and Amir Blumenfeld who play Harold and Kumar's new friends (respectively), while Elias Koteas is amusing as a Ukrainian gangster.

It's up to you whether or not A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas will ever become a classic. It will definitely join my annual Christmastime traditions, as I laughed consistently and have enjoyed it just as much upon repeat viewings. But it's definitely for a very specific sense of humour, so only proceed if you're not easily offended.

7.2/10

"Not nice...'"

At first glance, 2012's Silent Night looks like a remake of 1984's Silent Night, Deadly Night, but it really isn't. Even though it carries a similar title and uses the idea of a serial killer dressed as Santa Claus, it's a whole new story with new characters, and it does enough to emerge as its own entity. However, Silent Night is every bit as tasteless and useless as the picture that inspired it, and it's not chilling or terrifying enough to distinguish itself as a genuinely skilful slasher. Directed by Steven C. Miller, the flick does remain watchable at times thanks to competent production values, but otherwise, this is a straight-to-video diversion that falls far short of its potential.

It's December 24th in the small town of Cryer, Wisconsin, and the townsfolk are preparing for the festive season. Recently widowed cop Aubrey Bradimore (Jaime King) wants to spend Christmas Eve at home but is forced to go to work by Sheriff Cooper (Malcolm McDowell). Not long into the day, mutilated bodies are discovered, suggesting that a serial killer is on the loose. Digging deeper, they discover that the killer is dressed as Santa Claus...in a town that's full of men in Santa costumes. As the murderous Kris Kringle hacks his way through Cryer's inhabitants, Aubrey and Cooper work tirelessly to find the killer and end his Christmas rampage.

Written by Jayson Rothwell, the script for Silent Night is completely unremarkable, packed with every evil killer cliché in the slasher genre handbook. For instance, the killer slowly walks while his victims try to run away from him, and he tilts his head curiously as he watches people die. Added to this, he delivers minimal dialogue and has a talent for silently sneaking up behind unsuspecting characters. Worse, the narrative contains two or three outlandish red herrings that don't make much sense and cannot help but draw attention to themselves as red herrings. One supposes that such plot elements were included to keep us guessing, but the killer's identity is never a shocking mystery; rather than turning out to be one of the main characters, he's just some random dude dressed as Santa Claus, a fact that we knew all along. To be sure, his origins are a bit of a revelation, but the reveal makes no impact.

The main issue with Silent Night is one of tone, as it veers wildly between the deadly serious and the outright laughable. Some of the kills are amusing (be it intentional or otherwise), and Santa sports brass knuckles which have been crudely engraved with "Ho-Ho-Ho," but other scenes are just disturbing, including a wood-chipper kill that's outright repulsive and difficult to watch, let alone enjoy. One imagines Silent Night was intended to be serious with an undercurrent of dark humour, but such a tone requires a deft touch that eludes Rothwell and Miller, especially since the script is so daft. If Silent Night was successfully campy all the way through, it might've been a fun beer and pizza flick. Likewise, if it was successfully straight-faced, it might've been a worthwhile slasher. But it's unfortunately stuck between the two, and the jarring dissonance eliminates most of the picture's joy.

On a more positive note, production values are solid given the straight-to-video pedigree, featuring slick cinematography which gives the picture an expensive look. Even if Miller struggles with establishing a consistent tone, various set-pieces are solid, with great special effects for the gory kills. Silent Night is brutally violent, with oodles of blood and plenty of dismemberment, and it all looks uncomfortably realistic. The acting is not too bad, with serviceable performances all-round. Jaime King offers the only truly convincing moments of acting in the movie, though her gravitas is somewhat wasted by a script that uses her as a bridge between set-pieces. The star of the show, though, is Malcolm McDowell. The former Clockwork Orange star shows again here that he'll do absolutely anything that he's offered these days, and it's great to see him as the sheriff, delivering a performance that's so over-the-top and enjoyably hammy that he provides a few nice laughs amid the otherwise glum experience.

Despite its Christmas flavour, Silent Night is a vapid, by-the-book slasher that dabbles in torture porn to an uncomfortable extent. The story is too daft to be taken seriously, and it's too serious to be entertaining. Those looking for a string of disturbingly violent death scenes might walk away satisfied, but I prefer horror movies that can instil genuine fear or at least make me care about the characters. Silent Night fails to deliver in this sense, eschewing fun and suspense for banal misery. It's gory, messy and extremely ugly, making it ideal for people who detest the goodness and magic of the Christmas holiday season.

4.9/10

"Family's a messy business. Ain't nothing thicker than blood."

It's hard to deny the importance or excellence of Tobe Hooper's 1974 classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which has gone down in history as one of the most unforgettable horror films in history. With its raw disposition and 16mm photography, it remains a chilling film four decades on, which makes it all the more disappointing that none of its sequels or spinoffs have come close to equalling its unique brand of terror. Even Hooper's own sequel The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is held in low regard, and the less said about the 2003 remake or its 2006 prequel, the better. And now into this overcrowded arena steps 2013's Texas Chainsaw 3D, which ignores all the other nonsense that has occurred since 1974 to emerge as a direct sequel to Hooper's movie. Directed by John Luessenhop (Takers), it's a movie that aspires to restart the series without another remake, rendering all the gore in glorious 3D this time. Unfortunately, the resulting picture is just one more awful Texas Chainsaw feature, showing yet again that Hooper's classic is untouchable.

After the events of the original movie, the local community are hungry for vengeance, descending upon the Sawyer Farmhouse with loaded guns and Molotov cocktails, burning the property to the ground and seemingly killing everyone inside. A baby survives the slaughter and is placed into the care of a redneck couple. 40 years later, the baby has grown into 20-year-old Heather (Alexandra Daddario), who learns of her true family heritage when she inherits her late grandmother's estate. She hits the road with pals Ryan (Trey Songz), Nikki (Tania Raymonde) and Kenny (Keram Malicki-Sánchez) to claim the place, collecting a hitchhiker (Shaun Sipos) during their travels. Arriving in the town of Newt, the group are given the keys to a lavish mansion, but it doesn't take long for Leatherface (Dan Yeager) to be unleashed from his prison in the basement. Suffice it to say, Leatherface does not appreciate the intrusion, and sets out to slaughter Heather and her companions.

To establish itself as a direct sequel to Hooper's original film, Texas Chainsaw 3D actually begins with clips from its predecessor (converted to 3D for good measure) before continuing right where the story left off. But then the picture suddenly jumps to 2013, even though it retains characters who've only aged about twenty years over the past four decades. Heather should in fact be a 40-year-old woman, while the cops involved in the incident (not to mention the mayor) should be retired and dead. As for Leatherface, he should be at least 65 or 70 years old and barely able to carry a chainsaw, let alone chase his victims. Perhaps this story might have worked if it was set in the 1990s, but instead, it's set in 2013 for no compelling reason, with police officers using their iPhones to make Skype calls while wandering through dangerous territory. And apparently Heather and her friends are the only young folks without iPhones, as they don't try to call for help while being stalked by Leatherface. How convenient.

Texas Chainsaw 3D is bone-headed beyond all belief, bouncing between the preposterous and the outright retarded. Heather and Leatherface eventually find out about their family connection and suddenly befriend each other due to tenuous blood ties, even though Leatherface slaughtered all of Heather's mates and should be committed to a mental asylum. Even a law-abiding cop is willing to let Leatherface return to his dungeon where he can kill again. By the time Heather begins enabling her cousin, all sense of rationality and logic has dried up. The entire subplot regarding the police is awful, and the screenplay involves some of the most laughably idiotic police behaviour in recent memory. Worse, all of the Leatherface showdowns are moronic, particularly a detour into a carnival during which the crowd seem very casual despite Leatherface running through them holding a roaring death machine, rampaging towards Heather. Texas Chainsaw 3D wants to replicate the terror of the 1974 movie with its string of pursuits and showdowns, but the rampant stupidity is astonishing, providing a hurdle that's impossible to overcome.

Admittedly, there is some entertainment to be had throughout the picture's second act, as the pace picks up and folks start getting slaughtered in gory ways. There's plenty of running and hiding going on, and Luessenhop delivers a great deal of graphic violence as one would expect from a Texas Chainsaw movie (although, curiously, no nudity). Even the twangy photograph sound effect from the 1974 picture makes a comeback. The gore effects are reasonably effective, and the movie looks polished enough, with 3D photography used to enhance the experience. At least it was filmed and planned in three dimensions, but there's absolutely no convincing reason to watch this dreck with the glasses on. Unfortunately, the acting across the board is pretty poor as well. Daddario is a very standard-order horror heroine, while most everyone else is flat.

Texas Chainsaw 3D could be called a disappointment, but it's on the same wavelength as the other stinkers that have followed the original classic since its 1974 release, so having raised hopes in the first place would be foolish. The dialogue is awful and the plot contortions are monumentally idiotic, not to mention the filmmakers make the ill-advised decision to turn the nefarious Leatherface into a misunderstood anti-hero who just hunts down bad men. Seriously? It's unclear exactly what those behind Texas Chainsaw 3D were thinking while assembling this turkey, but it's clear that concepts like logic and quality were ignored. It's not scary or terrifying, and the only pulse-quickening moments are cheap jump-scares that make no impact. Just stick with the original.

4.2/10

"The popcorn you are eating has been pissed in. Film at eleven."

Years before the ZAZ trio (David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker) hit the big time with their comedic hit Airplane! in 1980, the boys were complete unknowns in Hollywood, endeavouring to find someone to finance their zany sketch comedy movie. Eventually, their tireless efforts paid off, and the result of their labours was The Kentucky Fried Movie, one of the first films to be directed by comedy legend John Landis, who went on to helm other classics like Animal House and The Blues Brothers. It would be impossible to produce something like The Kentucky Fried Movie in this day and age, as it revels in politically incorrect humour and is about as raunchy as it gets. The material is hilarious thanks to the script by the ZAZ gang, and Landis pitches the craziness at the right tone, making for hugely enjoyable viewing.

The Kentucky Fried Movie is an anthology of vignettes, each varying in length from ten seconds to thirty minutes. A large chunk of the movie is taken up by A Fistful of Yen, an uproarious parody of kung-fu movies, most notably taking the piss out of Bruce Lee's Enter the Dragon. It displays the type of brilliance that the ZAZ trio went on to exhibit in Airplane! and The Naked Gun!, with plenty of sight gags (a human alarm in the villain's lair) and general spoofing (an interrogation takes the form of a dating game). Landis brings the material to life with great comic flair, recreating the look and feel of old-school chopsocky flicks. There are plenty of other segments, including news reports, PSAs, trailers, and even a commercial for the JFK assassination board game. The Kentucky Fried Movie is stuffed with cameos, as well. George Lazenby, a former James Bond, features briefly, as does Donald Sutherland, while David Zucker himself also shows up a few times.

Since the ZAZ trio wanted to make their mark, they really went for it here, with no half-measures and absolutely no concern for political correctness. This is the type of flick that uses the N-word for a cheap laugh and features graphic nudity and sex approaching NC-17 boundaries. The Kentucky Fried Movie barely got financed, so it's clear that the guys wanted to make it count. For crying out loud, there's even an infomercial on how deceased people can still be active members of society, and there's a faux trailer for Catholic School Girls In Trouble which is full of bare boobs. The easily offended are advised to stay clear of the film, as it caters for the demographic who enjoy this type of crass humour. Of course, comedy is subjective, so not everyone will find this stuff amusing, but this reviewer laughed consistently. It's definitely worth at least checking the film out, especially if Airplane!, The Naked Gun! and Top Secret! are to your liking.

From a technical standpoint, The Kentucky Fried Movie is very raw, with so-so production values, a lack of polish and plenty of continuity errors, all of which are understandable given the minuscule budget. This rough disposition is all part of the charm, however. The Kentucky Fried Movie is an unabashedly juvenile exercise in comedy, and it is hit-and-miss, but when it hits...the resulting laughs are legendary. Plus, the lamer moments are forgivable due to the anarchic sense of merriment that pervades the entirety of the saga. It's obviously a cinematic effort by a bunch of inexperienced guys, which again is part of its goofy appeal, especially since there's a whiff of "let's throw everything we can at the screen and see what sticks" to everything that occurs.

8.0/10