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Absolutely brilliant!

Posted : 17 years ago on 2 May 2008 08:14 (A review of The Silence of the Lambs)

"Believe me, you don't want Hannibal Lecter inside your head."

Michael Mann struck moderate success with a 1986 thriller entitled Manhunter. This film introduced us to a brilliant psychiatrist/cannibalistic serial killer named Hannibal "the Cannibal" Lector. First played by Brian Cox, the role was then filled by actor Anthony Hopkins.

Based on a novel of the same name by Thomas Harris, The Silence of the Lambs is one of the greatest movies of all time and one of the world's most effective thrillers. If you have never seen this absolute classic thriller that redefined the serial killer genre you have no idea what you're missing out on.

Clarice Starling (Foster) is a brilliant FBI agent-in-training who is assigned to assist in the hunt for a serial killer known as Buffalo Bill who has been kidnapping, murdering and skinning young women. The head of the FBI Behavioural Sciences section Jack Crawford (Glenn) sends Clarice to a mental institution to confide with once-renowned Dr. Hannibal "the Cannibal" Lector (Hopkins). It is hoped that Lector will provide a detailed profile of Buffalo Bill and perhaps aid in his capture. Lector only agrees to help if in return Clarice feed facts about her life to his morbid curiosity just for his own amusement.

The Silence of the Lambs is a stunning, taut, intelligent thriller that was an unexpected hit when it was first released. The film also made a successful trip to the Oscars; becoming the third film to clean up the top 5 Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Adapted Screenplay. Surely this profitable Academy Awards evening should be enough motivation to warrant multiple viewings.

The Silence of the Lambs is also quite a terrifying experience. It's not the kind of horror you'd find in a typical slasher flick; it's a psychological thriller that makes the audience petrified of the grim characters, and it's played exceptionally well on the underlying modern fear of the lethal human predator with no conscience, remorse or perceived reason. Hannibal Lector looks normal on the surface, but is revealed to be twisted and disturbing on the inside. It's also the macabre images present in the basement of a serial killer that adds to the film's terrifying nature. It will give you the creeps.

The film is also held together by the extremely strong interaction between Lector and Clarice. It's no wonder that both of them received Oscars. Anthony Hopkins cannot be even slightly faulted as the twisted psychiatrist. This was truly a career-changing role of Hopkins. I personally prefer Hopkins as Lector over Brian Cox. Although Cox did a great job, he just wasn't as creepy or spine-chilling as Hopkins' sublime portrayal. It's a close call, though. Jodie Foster's performance also holds the movie together. She always seems so vulnerable with an outward show that suggests a tough-spirited character. Foster always looks somewhat scared whenever she has a conversation with Lector - or even so much as glances at him.

Jonathan Demme's direction is masterful. I'm not sure if it was the direction or the editing - either way, the film is highly suspenseful and effective. Especially towards the climax. Demme keeps the dialogue taut and interesting; receiving engaging performances from the spirited cast.

The Silence of the Lambs is entertaining, smart, effective, imaginative, gory and scary with a high level of intelligence. The thriller genre does not get any better than this!

This is the film that redefined serial killer movies. I have enjoyed viewing this film after multiple screenings and the DVD will continue to be replayed. The Silence of the Lambs can't be missed at any cost.


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Delightful and funny!

Posted : 17 years ago on 1 May 2008 11:00 (A review of Fierce Creatures)

"Mr. Sylvester Stallone didn't get where he is today by playing in Jane Austen."


Fierce Creatures is a charming, rather funny non-sequel to A Fish Called Wanda that reunites most of the original cast, but falls far short of matching up to its non-predecessor. In all fairness, A Fish Called Wanda was way too remarkably excellent and unbeatable that I never expected Fierce Creatures to match it.

Fierce Creatures is of course completely unrelated (except a few sneaky references that one should spot, as well as a few Monty Python homages) while also keeping some of the characters much the same (Kline delivers a trademark macho performance here).

A London zoo, owned by an Aussie business tycoon named Rod McCain (Kline), is successful but McCain demands the zoo owner Rollo (Cleese) to raise funds by 20%. Rollo instigates a new policy; a 'fierce creature' policy that entails removing all placid animals and replacing them with exciting, ferocious ones. This new policy is met with complete shock from the zookeepers who discover that the only way to get rid of their placid animals is to shoot them. When matters get worse at the zoo, McCain sends his son Vince (also played by Kline) and up-and-coming business executive Willa Weston (Lee Curtis) to take control.

Fierce Creatures had all the elements it needed for a good old-fashioned fun comedy (including a very good repetitive joke that paints Cleese as a sexual superman found attractive by humans and animals), and it certainly is a fun film with high re-watchable value; it just can't hold a candle to A Fish Called Wanda.

John Cleese is brilliant as always. His character mirrors some of his other characters in the way that he's notorious for getting into trouble and coming up with hilarious excuses. The man will always be funny despite his age. Kevin Kline is of course an utter delight. He is given some very witty lines of dialogue that had me laughing quite spectacularly. Jamie Lee Curtis is her usual self. Mirroring her role in the non-predecessor, I was very impressed with the performance delivered here. And of course Michael Palin is a remarkable, funny and wonderful. Just like John Cleese, age is of no issue. I will always have fond memories of his Monty Python career.

The one real stand out feature for this film, though, is the exceptional musical score. Despite being just for a typical comedy, this score is definitely one of the best I have ever heard. The music is catchy and it matches the atmosphere while setting a very fitting tone as well. Kudos to Jerry Goldsmith for creating such a perfect score for this film.

Fierce Creatures contains some great scattered laughs with hilarious dialogue that become better with every viewing, and of course the film is great entertainment, but there's nothing to convincingly bring it into the 'brilliant' category. Certainly worth seeing.



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Unique masterpiece.

Posted : 17 years ago on 1 May 2008 08:34 (A review of The Seventh Seal)

"I shall remember this moment: the silence, the twilight, the bowl of strawberries, the bowl of milk. Your faces in the evening light. Mikael asleep, Jof with his lyre. I shall try to remember our talk. I shall carry this memory carefully in my hands as if it were a bowl brimful of fresh milk. It will be a sign to me, and a great sufficiency."

Ingmar Bergman put his country on the cinematic map with The Seventh Seal; an atmospheric, peculiar, eerie, ambiguous production that is a surreal masterpiece of the highest order. Words cannot accurately describe the appeal of this movie. Needless to say the film is certainly not for all tastes. It requires a viewer who is patient and whose attention span is not limited to mainly tolerating fast-paced films.

The Seventh Seal moves at a snail pace and is strictly for those who can easily endure rich, perplexing world cinema. I will admit that I quickly grew tired of reading subtitles for each line of dialogue. Of course this is not a negative downfall. Foreign countries would say precisely the same thing about an American film. Foreign filmmakers should be given the opportunity to craft a film in their native language and I of course respect this.

The film opens as a disillusioned knight named Antonius Block, played by Max von Sydow, is returning from the crusades in the 14th century when he is confronted by Death (Ekerot) who casually tells him that his time is up.

However, Antonius is not willing to give up so easily and challenges Death to a game of chess for his life. While the chess match is still happening, Antonius can live. And if he checkmates Death then it could mean a significantly longer life indeed. Alas, Antonius travels across a country now stricken by the Black Death (i.e. the plague) in search of a concrete sign that would implicate that God really exists. No matter where he goes, Death is always following in his footsteps.

The film is both elegant and extensively atmospheric. Most of the entrancing panorama we're presented with is apocalyptic and filled with dread. The black and white photography further retains this quality. As the characters travel across the land they find devastated villages and unnerving forest scenery.

The film is also rich in religious themes that also pose a question to the viewer; does God really exist? The final image also raises questions about what occurs after death. We see a string of silhouetted figures dancing with arms outstretched as they are about to enter the unknown.

The Seventh Seal is also a film that is heavily ambiguous. What does each character symbolise? The audience is left to draw their own conclusions after the credits have rolled. Not many films similar to this have the eminence of extensive ambiguity, chiefly in a religious sense. The film has been widely regarded as one of the world's most important pieces of cinema. There is little mystery surrounding this.

The performances weren't excessively engaging. There are some pretty distasteful characters, but they all appear to be allegorical (similar to the film as a whole, in that sense). Max von Sydow had the hardest job of pulling off such an important character. He adds intensity to the game of chess and he is quite enthralling.

Director Ingmar Bergman did a fantastic job with this film. His direction will keep one mesmerised for the film's duration. It moves at a slow pace, granted, however the classy direction allows something interesting to appear on screen quite frequently.

The Seventh Seal is a film that won't be appreciated by all tastes. It falls into the category of 'world cinema' so expect to be reading subtitles the whole way through. I guess if you're too lazy to read subtitles then this would be one to leave on the shelf.

The Seventh Seal is captivating and surreal, as well as dark, disturbing and grim. Its sheer indistinctness alone makes it worthy of a screening.


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Brilliant drama! A masterpice!

Posted : 17 years ago on 30 April 2008 11:54 (A review of Whale Rider)

"When she was born, that's when things went wrong for us."

Traditional rich Maori culture is preserved marvellously with Whale Rider; this captivating slice of New Zealand filmmaking. Whale Rider was a complete surprise for me. Habitually, I had mistaken the film for some propaganda that promotes the ideologies of the Maori culture. On the contrary, Whale Rider was the farthest thing from my initial anticipations.

The film offers an exquisite glimpse of traditional Maori customs and traditions wrapped up in this touching, tear-jerking, moving drama.

Paikea Apirana (Castle-Hughes) is born into a Maori family that comes from a long line of tribal chiefs. Her father Porourangi (Curtis) is the first born son of the chief Koro (Paratene), a direct descendant of the original leader of the Maori tribe. Paikea was named after the original chief who arrived in New Zealand on the back of a whale - he was the whale rider. Koro naturally expected Porourangi to produce a son to continue carrying the long line. But Porourangi's wife dies during childbirth after she delivers twins. The boy twin dies, leaving the girl. Porourangi leaves New Zealand after naming his daughter Paikea much to the horror of his father.

The story then resumes eleven years later when we find Paikea living with her grandparents. Her grandfather Koro has no use for a girl as a grandchild and feels it would be infuriating to see a girl become chief. Paikea does not see it like this and yearns for the respect of her grandfather.

Whale Rider is a beautiful, poignant, moving tale rich in powerful themes and stunning performances. Keisha Castle-Hughes hits all the right notes in her debut performance. She became one of the youngest people ever to be nominated for an Oscar. And it was for Best Actress. She was up against people like Diane Keaton and Naomi Watts. She was favoured over the hundreds (probably thousands) of actresses working during 2002 and she's a young Maori who had never done acting before. Keisha's performance is guaranteed to make you cry. It doesn't matter if you're made of machine parts; your eyes will not be dry! Rawiri Paratene was another truly remarkable member of the cast. His character is quite despicable at times, but his performance was excellent. Cliff Curtis plays a very minor role. It's disappointing that he didn't surface more often. Despite his small screen time he certainly makes his mark for the scenes he features in.

I will admit that the strong accents present in every single cast member were a little distracting at times. As a matter of fact, I'm not a fan of the accent at all. And yet the actors never struck a false note. When the characters want to be likeable they certainly are. And for the characters we're not supposed to like, we don't. The chemistry was sometimes astoundingly brilliant. The obvious camaraderie of the cast shines like a new penny. Never was there a contrived moment of dialogue delivery. Everyone is engaging, and everyone contributes to the film's compelling nature.

Whale Rider is a stunning film that also showcases some gorgeous visual images. The landscape, the nature, the animals...they all look encouragingly dazzling. The film also triggered the thought of another New Zealand film - Once Were Warriors. Both productions address a different aspect of living in New Zealand, and both are filled with strong drama. Whale Rider is easier viewing of course and a lot less violent. This is made up with its dominant themes.

It came as no surprise that Whale Rider was nominated for so many awards, and walked away with a sleuth of wins. The film was a refreshing breath of fresh air in a year that boasted such a number of high profile releases. In a nutshell, Whale Rider is essential viewing.


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Buster Keaton's best.

Posted : 17 years ago on 30 April 2008 08:22 (A review of The General)

"If you lose this war don't blame me."

The 1920s was the era for old black and white movie comedies. This era was ruled by three factions: Charlie Chaplin, The Marx Brothers and Buster Keaton. The General is a very short (75-minute) but classic silent film from Keaton.

Back in the days when these films were released it was pivotal to include a bunch of fantastically hilarious sight gags to keep the audience entertained for the film's duration. Because silent movies are images being shown to simple piano music these sight gags were a necessity. Up until I finally watched this movie I would never have known how side-splitting the humour of 1920's slapstick truly is. As much as I love watching Charlie Chaplin's old movies, Keaton is also a guru when it comes to his art of being an acrobatic comedian.

The General was not a success when it was first released, but over the years the film now regularly appears on lists of the greatest movies ever made. The plot is really quite straightforward: Johnnie Gray (Keaton) is a Southern train engineer at the start of the Civil War. Johnnie is encouraged to enlist by his girl Annabelle (Mack) who believes it is an honourable and courageous thing to join the army.

But Johnnie is rejected when trying to enlist. Unbeknownst to him, it's because the enlisting office believes he will be more useful as an engineer as opposed to a soldier. Annabelle doesn't believe Johnnie's story, instead thinking that he's a coward who refuses to enlist. Unless Johnnie is wearing a uniform, Annabelle will not allow him to speak. Meanwhile a group of Union spies decide to steal a locomotive. Predictably, they choose the locomotive belonging to Johnnie. And in the process of stealing it they also unintentionally kidnap Annabelle. Now it's up to Johnnie to save both of his loves - his girl and his locomotive.

The General is beautifully constructed. For such an old production I would never have expected to see such scope and scale. Some of the battles (non-violent, of course) feature a whole heap of extras as well as some extensive sets. It's obvious that the film was made with a lot of love. The stunts were executed remarkably. There are countless occasions when I found myself laughing or cheering when Keaton performed a highly amusing acrobatic stunt. The stunt gags get better quality as the film moves along. The final train chase was both highly entertaining as well as being frequently hilarious.

And in those days what you see is what you get; some of the stunts were performed without any insurance on hand or many safety precautions. Everything looks real and this is what makes the film so special. We will never see shots like these filmed during present day without the aid of digital effects. A tragedy and a fact.

Surprisingly, The General is one of the most accurate portrayals of the Civil War. Every detail is meticulously designed; props, costumes, sets, etc. Top marks for precision, Mr. Keaton!!

The General is probably Buster Keaton's most famous production. The film is a total riot from start to finish. It's hilarious and it carries a high sense of excitement. The fantastic music was another asset that made the film a lot more exhilarating. The film is very deserving of all he accolades it received, and then some. One of the best silent movie comedies made to date!


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Classic quintessential mystery.

Posted : 17 years ago on 30 April 2008 04:38 (A review of The Big Sleep)

"What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a gun before? What do you want me to do, count three like they do in the movies?"

Regarded as one of the essential Bogart/Bacall films, The Big Sleep is a stimulating plunge into an entertaining slice of detective fiction. Filmmakers these days just don't make movies like The Big Sleep anymore; the film is stylish and atmospheric, set in a world where tough guys are tough guys and women were babes.

The highlight of the classic picture, of course, is the rich screen partnership of Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall (they were married at the time). When one thinks of Bogart, his big break usually springs to mind; that is, The Maltese Falcon. Howard Hawks is no John Huston; however Hawks' refined direction sets the atmosphere of intrigue and exhilaration. From the first scene I was already hooked; sharp screenplay, witty line dispensing from first-rate cast, classy atmosphere. It's this combination that keeps the audience spellbound from start to finish.

Based on the Raymond Chandler novel of the same name, Bogart plays private eye detective Philip Marlowe who is given the assignment of sorting out a simple blackmail case for a wealthy old man. The case involves the man's younger daughter Carmen (Vickers) and it appears to be fairly straightforward. However, the plot thickens when Marlowe discovers that there is more to the case than meets the eye.

What follows is an absorbing tale filled with murders and abundant intrigue; there is certainly nothing dull to surface around here.

Some people fed The Big Sleep a mouthful of criticism because of how convoluted the plot turned out to be. This is true; the film is full of plot twists and is so complex that not even the author knows who committed one murder, but the film is so incredibly entertaining that I was willing to overlook it.

The Big Sleep is a sizzling thriller that features a first class array of actors. Humphrey Bogart is formidable in his quintessential role of a private detective falling for a dame. Bogey seems to never tire of playing the same kind of role on many occasions. Of course, this is no drawback. The man is now experienced in such a role and his stature perfectly suits the character of Philip Marlowe.

Lauren Bacall will always be an exemplary accompaniment for Bogey on screen. The chemistry is sizzling between them when the screen is shared. The supporting cast is a dazzling array of stunning female actresses, including Mary Vickers and Dorothy Malone among many others.

Director Hawks had some serious boots to fill due to Bogey being one of the world's much loved actors working at the time of release. After The Maltese Falcon and Casablanca it would have been a hard act to follow. But Hawks is skilled in the director's chair; always establishing a very classy atmosphere that keeps the audience enthralled as the mysteries keep getting unravelled.

The film also boasts quite a large on screen body count and quite a bit of violence. This only heightens the film's status as one of the most unforgettable films in cinematic history.

The Big Sleep will always be remembered amongst the most memorable films from Bogart's career. From start to finish I was completely captivated by the impressive filmmaking in every aspect. The film is another classic that continues to deepen my fascination in old black and white movies. I can't stress this enough; no-one would be able to match the mystery and captivation if the film was made in colour, or make during present day.


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Hitchcock classic!

Posted : 17 years, 1 month ago on 29 April 2008 11:12 (A review of The Birds)

"Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from! I think you're evil. EVIL!"

As Hitchcock's career progressed, he created some of his finest work. The Birds is a thriller of reference superiority, and is undoubtedly one of Hitchcock's best films.

No-one can match Hitchcock when it comes to sheer suspense and terror, and this film is no exception. What I admire most about Hitchcock is that he's never afraid to attempt a new style of thriller - in this case making a thriller sans music. There is not a single note of music throughout the movie, and because of Hitchcock's inspirational direction you will be too engaged in the terror to actually realise this. Not many directors can accomplish this degree of suspense and horror without the assistance of a composer, but Hitchcock proves skilled in this aspect.

Melanie Daniels (Hedren) is shopping in San Francisco when she meets potential boyfriend Mitch (Taylor) in a petshop. After Mitch leaves, Melanie is intrigued by Mitch and decides to pursue him in the hope of a probable relationship.

Melanie follows him to an insignificant North Californian town. Shortly after this, Melanie is swooping by a seagull and what follows is a bizarre set of circumstances as our allies from the sky begin attacking humankind.

The Birds is a PG rated suspense film, but it can only be viewed by those game enough to sit through some terrifying horror scenes that are even effective despite the age of the movie. Many may look upon the film as dated, but Hitchcock's direction is still as effective as it was when the film was first released.

And of course the cast were all first rate. They are able to instil a sense of sheer terror from their acting whenever a flock of birds appeared on screen. Many will think that the birds look corny and a remake is necessary (Michael Bay is currently gearing up for the dreaded remake), but the film was never about the quality of the special effects (that are fantastic nonetheless). The cinematography and just the image of a flock of birds is what made the film so scary. It will keep audiences on the edge of their seat, without a clue about what will happen next.

Based on a short story, Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds is an outstanding thriller. Probably considered tame by mainstream contemporary audiences, but I found the film to be almost flawless.

What I also admire about Hitchcock's work here is that he was bold enough to tag the film with an uncertain ending. At first I found this unsatisfying. But upon closer inspection I discovered that Hitchcock used this effect to create the impression of "unending terror" (direct quote from the man himself). The story of the main characters finished at the end of the movie, and it was a best place to end it.

Perfect suspense, skilfully constructed, and the film is so unbelievably intense that you will never look at a flock of birds the same way again. Classic Hitchcock!


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Superb western!

Posted : 17 years, 1 month ago on 29 April 2008 10:48 (A review of Unforgiven)

"It's a hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna have."


Unforgiven could be the greatest western film in the history of cinema. Clint Eastwood proves an able director for this stunning film, and shows that he has learnt much from starring in spaghetti westerns by Sergio Leone.

Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman play William Munny and Ned Logan; two retired gunslingers who live tranquil lives. After a group of cowboys horribly disfigure a prostitute, a bounty is put on their head. Eastwood and Freeman answer the call, hoping to put an end to their gunslinging after picking up the sizable reward of $1,000.

As the two ride across colonial America with the help of a young wannabe cowboy (Woolvett), the sheriff of the town of Big Whiskey, Little Bill (Hackman), is doing everything he can to discourage bounty hunters as an act of social prejudice.

For its whole running time, the film is absolutely remarkable. Eastwood's sublime direction allows us to get to know each central character; as there are no good guys or bad guys here, this was a pivotal part of the movie.

Eastwood also acted tremendously well here, and displays major depth in his role as an old gunslinger. Morgan Freeman was never an actor one would expect to see in a western, but he pulls it off incredibly well. Gene Hackman, as the sadistic sheriff, was also just exceptional.

Of course the movie is primarily dialogue driven so people looking for action will find precious little, unfortunately. But Unforgiven is a character western that focuses on the drama. And when we do get to some action in the last 15 minutes or so, it's gritty and brutal. Not so much the violence displayed, but the brutality of the characters.

The film contains a very simple plot, granted, but it's not what is on the surface that actually matters here. On the surface it would seem like a dull journey into the old west, but underneath there's plenty of hidden layers and meanings told with the well-developed characters and gorgeous scenery.

Overall, Unforgiven marks the only time that Hollywood actually got a western right; in a money-orientated system, this movie shows us that something truly beautiful can come out of it. It's not concerned with the action or the blood, but rather with developing the characters and showing that there's more to a western than just the action. It's not a spaghetti western and it's not the work of Sergio Leone, but it's an utterly sublime movie. Highly recommended.



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Touching, brilliant movie.

Posted : 17 years, 1 month ago on 29 April 2008 10:43 (A review of What's Eating Gilbert Grape)

"You don't hurt Arnie, you just don't."


What's Eating Gilbert Grape is an amazing movie. The performances are absolutely sublime, the script is fantastic, the score is remarkable...and the overall result is near perfect.

Gilbert Grape (Depp) lives in a small town with essentially no future. He works at the unsuccessful local grocery store, and is stuck caring for his mentally challenged brother Arnie (DiCaprio) as well as his morbidly obese mother (Cates). A small family of campers are stranded in the town, and a young teenager named Becky (Lewis) takes an interest in Gilbert.

The whole film is an emotional journey that is told exceptionally. Although the film seems to go no-where at times, each scene is carried by flawless performances from everyone.

Depp is just brilliant. He played his character extremely well, and even at a young age he can still act superbly. DiCaprio's performance (which earned an Oscar nomination) just blew me away. Because he plays a mentally challenged boy, you'd need a damn fine actor to sell this and DiCaprio did it perfectly. When I watched the movie, it honestly seemed like DiCaprio wasn't acting because he played the part so well. Juliette Lewis does a great job here as well.

The film expertly combines some compelling scenes of drama with a few good laughs and some very heart-warming moments. No matter who you are, you will be in tears by the end of it. The score accompanying the already perfect acting was just inspirational.

By putting Leonardo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp together in a movie, you are guaranteed a winner. What's Eating Gilbert Grape is unmissable, unforgettable and heart-warming. In short: if you haven't seen this movie, you MUST. Highly recommended!



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Terrible monster drivel!

Posted : 17 years, 1 month ago on 29 April 2008 09:05 (A review of Arachnid)

"Ahhhh!" (This is said many times when someone is eatem. This is one of the limited quotes I can remember. Proves how lazy the screenwriter was)

I am completely aware that Arachnid was only made to be a fluffy entertainment piece showcasing a giant spider eating people. Despite this, I found the movie to be the furthest thing from a decent slice of entertainment.

Instead I was fed this stupid, cheesy, barely memorable poppycock that could be beaten by a student film! I can't honestly believe that this film was marketed as being an addition to the horror genre because I didn't find anything remotely scary about this horrible mess other than the terrifying thought that people actually gave money to filmmakers to get this thing made.

The story of the film is basically about a group of people who are terrorised by some giant mutated spider. Well...how impressive is that? This is a plot that has been reused for a countless number of monster movies, most of which score as much better quality than this rubbish.

One of principal things that stuck out for me here was the terrible screenplay and the bad actors involved. It's truly painful how conventional and by-the-book all the characters are. There must be a book for screenwriters to turn to for ideas on what characters to include. Spider expert who is an easy target? Check. Big-breasted girl for show? Check. Dumb characters to get knocked off first? Check. Smart character that swoops in and saves the day? Check. A few tough-looking soldiers to die in triumphant, heroic ways? Check. From the first few scenes we can comfortably predict which characters are going to die, and in which order.

The script is filled with cheesy, dull dialogue. And none of the actors appear to make an effort. The special effects were cheesy and laughable. The animation honestly looks like a group of students made a dodgy clay model. They aren't even slightly impressive. If you want the special effects to look just marginally striking then you'll need to get drunk - fast! All this film has to show for is a bit of gore and a spider killing people in predictable ways.

What I also picked up is that when the spider is shot the bullets comfortably fly off the thing's body with no effect at all. For the final showdown the hero picks up a gun and suddenly the thing is vulnerable!

In the style of Anaconda the film is nothing more than a trip into clichéd territory. I found the film so clichéd it was almost to the point of offence. It will lower your IQ because of how incredibly appalling the film is! Arachnid is a foolish, juvenile, laughable B-Grade horror movie. Despite some action, the film is also incredibly boring. I was watching it with some friends who had fallen asleep half-way through the movie. I wish I could have done the same thing. The film is not at all scary, thrilling or even entertaining. I've seen better quality movies produced on a budget of $5.


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