First Viewing Plot: A brother and sister attempt to bring their divorced parents back together for Christmas. Another random Christmas title that I discovered while perusing the cheap festive movie rentals on iTunes, All I Want for Christmas is a perfunctory, artificial, factory-made studio Christmas movie with little to recommend. It pays lip service to all of the usual checkboxes for such productions, and, even though the central plot is trite as hell, I guess using such a story for a Christmas movie is admittedly unique. What a shame that the resulting movie is so Disneynied and divorced from reality; I mean, while the kids enact their plan to get their parents back together, they lock their potential future stepfather in an ice cream van and aren't even punished for it. (Also, nobody can hear said stepfather yelling and banging in the back of the truck, of course.) None of the characters feel like real people and it's not overly funny or charming, though I guess it delivers the bare minimum for a family Christmas movie. I don't think anybody older than 10 will find much of value here.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 13th Via: Amazon Prime Video Plot: A brother and sister attempt to bring their divorced parents back together for Christmas. Rating: 5.4/10
First Viewing Plot: A book superstore magnate, Joe Fox, and independent book shop owner, Kathleen Kelly, fall in love through the anonymity of the internet. Neither of them knows who they're talking to online while Joe works to put Kathleen's store out of business. I felt it was appropriate to do a double feature of The Shop Around the Corner and You've Got Mail, and I'm glad that I did. Another "sort of" Christmas film for which only one part of the movie is set at Christmas (not to mention, this is another Nora Ephron film), You've Got Mail is a disarming and entertaining 1990s romantic comedy which has firmly ingratiated itself into popular culture - and it was a pleasure to finally tick it off my list. It's a bit too long at over two hours, but I can't say that it's boring, and there aren't any scenes that feel inessential or unnecessarily prolonged. The story hooked me from the start, and Ephron's style is all over the material: it's funny, sweet, inoffensive and bursting with charm.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 12th Via: Stan. Plot: A book superstore magnate, Joe Fox, and independent book shop owner, Kathleen Kelly, fall in love through the anonymity of the internet. Neither of them knows who they're talking to online while Joe works to put Kathleen's store out of business. Rating: 7.0/10
First Viewing Plot: Two employees at a gift shop can barely stand each other, without realizing that they are falling in love through the post as each other's anonymous pen pal. Uncynical and sincere, The Shop Around the Corner is a charming and engaging Hollywood classic based on a 1937 Hungarian play. And it certainly feels like a play since the majority of the movie takes place in a store, there are limited other locations, and the staging is very simplistic, but this is not to denigrate the feature; on the contrary, the sharp writing and wonderful performances render this an enormously enjoyable sit. The always-reliable James Stewart is a perfect lead, and his co-star Margaret Sullavan is an ideal foil for him, resulting in some sharp bantering between the two. If you enjoy other old Hollywood classics like His Girl Friday or Arsenic and Old Lace, this one is definitely worth your time.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 12th Via: iTunes Store Plot: Two employees at a gift shop can barely stand each other, without realizing that they are falling in love through the post as each other's anonymous pen pal. Rating: 7.7/10
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 12th Via: iTunes Store Plot: A transgender prostitute tears through Tinseltown on Christmas Eve searching for the pimp who broke her heart. Rating: 3.1/10
First Viewing Plot: A transgender prostitute tears through Tinseltown on Christmas Eve searching for the pimp who broke her heart. I only watched Tangerine because it was a 99 cent rental on iTunes and it's set at Christmas, but this is easily the worst film of my Christmas film binge so far (yes, worse than the 1997 Jack Frost). From the outset, I did not find any of the characters likeable, endearing or interesting, and I immediately regretted my decision to give this movie a shot. Unfortunately, Tangerine does not improve. Shot on the streets of Los Angeles exclusively with iPhones, the sense of immediacy and realism is commendable (I keep hearing that LA is a dumpster fire shithole and now I can see why), but the movie does absolutely nothing else of interest or note. I don't doubt that people like this exist, and the movie probably faithfully portrays them, but it doesn't change the fact that I would never want to spend time in the company of people who are so studiously unlikeable. Tangerine is not interesting, compelling or exciting, nor is it incisive or enjoyable - I have no idea what it's meant to be. Additionally, it's not a Christmas movie in any sense of the word, rendering this a complete waste of time and I couldn't wait to get it off my TV screen. I'm just glad that it's not a long movie as I was already prepared to slit my wrists after 87 minutes of this garbage. I will never consider watching Tangerine again and I recommend that you steer clear.
First Viewing Plot: A hopelessly romantic Chicago Transit Authority token collector saves a handsome stranger after he falls unconscious on the railway tracks. As he lies in a coma, she is mistaken for his fiancée - and she's too meek to say anything after being quickly accepted by his family. Another one of those movies which is only partly set at Christmastime but still qualifies as a Christmas film all the same, While You Were Sleeping is a surprisingly effective and charming romantic comedy from director Jon Turteltaub. This is also another movie revolving around a big white lie that will eventually be revealed at the end, and there's a certain amount of rom-com formula at play here, but the execution is surprisingly successful thanks in large part to the direction and the disarming ensemble cast. Indeed, Turteltaub doesn't lather on the saccharine or emotionality, and I quickly found myself invested in the story - and this is coming from someone who doesn't normally like Sandra Bullock. I'm glad I sought this one out and gave it two hours of my time.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 12th Via: Disney+ Plot: A hopelessly romantic Chicago Transit Authority token collector saves a handsome stranger after he falls unconscious on the railway tracks. As he lies in a coma, she is mistaken for his fiancée - and she's too meek to say anything after being quickly accepted by his family. Rating: 7.0/10
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 11th Via: Stan. Plot: A romantic comedy about a New York socialite who fakes her identity to get her book published and has to rush back to her deceased mother's farm when the publisher and her son come to visit their 'Australian' author. Rating: 5.3/10
First Viewing Plot: A romantic comedy about a New York socialite who fakes her identity to get her book published and has to rush back to her deceased mother's farm when the publisher and her son come to visit their 'Australian' author. Not terrible but certainly not great by any means, Christmas on the Farm is the second Australian Christmas film in as many years from the Aussie streaming service Stan. But rather than a heartfelt Christmas movie with a typically Australian sense of humour, we instead get one of the tritest set-ups imaginable: a woman needing people to pretend to be her husband and daughter. This is one of the oldest sitcom tropes in history, and it has even been done in the Aussie flick Strange Bedfellows in 2004. Thus, we get vignettes in which the fake husband is seen fooling around with his actual partner and he's forced to kiss his fake wife (and he's gay here, ha ha ha). The farm set-up feels like window dressing and doesn't take full advantage of the Australian setting - instead, we get horse riding and a cow giving birth. Oh, and a forced scene in which characters go swimming in a dirty dam at night for no reason, only to be attacked by yabbies. At least we get some culturally unique things and there are some charming scenes, but the formula is too apparent and it's not interesting enough to break away from the utterly generic nature of the screenplay. At the end of the day, Christmas on the Farm feels like just another disposable Christmas rom-com rather than something more significant.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 11th Via: Google Play Plot: After an accident that left murderer Jack Frost dead in genetic material the vengeful killer returns as a murderous snowman to exact his revenge on the man who sent him to be executed. Rating: 4.2/10
First Viewing Plot: After an accident that left murderer Jack Frost dead in genetic material the vengeful killer returns as a murderous snowman to exact his revenge on the man who sent him to be executed. I needed to open a window while watching this godawful Christmas horror movie as I needed to let out that horrid stink - and what a pungent stink it was. Even despite the bad reviews, I was hoping this iteration of Jack Frost was going to be "so good it's bad," but I was shit out of luck. Badly paced and with a villain that doesn't look anything remotely like the campy design on the poster, you're better off watching one of those "kill count" compilations on YouTube as opposed to watching the entire 90 minutes of this hit-and-miss movie. The creative kill scenes are the only positive of this movie, as there's some gore and other moments which made me chuckle; as for the rest, it's just dire. There's no suspense or tension, nor did I become invested in the characters or care about their survival. And then there's the only chestnut of the characters miraculously having something on-hand that helps them defeat the villain - in this case, the hero's kid made him some terrible oatmeal with anti-freeze. Watching movies like this reminds me precisely why the suicide rates go up around Christmas.
First Viewing Plot: An affluent, fast-lane investment broker is given a glimpse of how the other half lives; he wakes up on Christmas Day to find that his sports car and girlfriend have been replaced with a mini-van, a wife, two kids and a dog. A noticeably Frank Capra-inspired drama reminiscent of It's a Wonderful Life, The Family Man is a mostly effective Christmas film which is undoubtedly elevated by the presence of Nicolas Cage. It's a sweet, polished movie (Brett Ratner is not a good director, but he's surprisingly sensitive with this material) with laughs and a huge amount of charm, and the message is a worthwhile one about family meaning more than anything and you need to make sacrifices for the ones you love. I'm not quite sure I agree with the ostensible notion that ambitious, well-paying jobs should be sacrificed as I'm sure there's a happy medium between struggling working class and greedy stockbroker...but that's just my opinion. Unfortunately, the film does outstay its welcome at over two hours in length, with the second act in particular feeling flabby and uneven, in need of more momentum. Indeed, the majority of the flick takes place in the fantasy world, and we're acutely aware that Jack will eventually return to his old life. The movie also paints itself into a corner, leading to an ending that's not entirely satisfying but still feels overly Hollywood. I didn't love The Family Man, but I found it sufficiently charming for this year's festive viewing. And that's another one ticked off the list that I've been wanting to watch for over a decade.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 11th Via: Blu-ray Plot: An affluent, fast-lane investment broker is given a glimpse of how the other half lives; he wakes up on Christmas Day to find that his sports car and girlfriend have been replaced with a mini-van, a wife, two kids and a dog. Rating: 6.7/10
First Viewing Plot: On the night of Christmas Eve, an extended power outage in New York City traps six groups of people in elevators. Ensemble Christmas movies are nothing new - hell, just scroll up and see Noel - but the gimmick of the made-for-TV Christmas Eve is that all of the vignettes are set in elevators where people are trapped inside. It's a noble effort, especially since the varied stories prevent the banality that would inevitably set in if it was focused on just one set of characters for 90 minutes, but the results are decidedly mixed. This is a paint-by-numbers television Christmas effort that walks and talks like a Hallmark movie, and the lack of visual panache in the cinematography and lighting is a genuine concern considering the cramped elevator sets. Not helping things is the really obvious green-screening during the scenes involving Patrick Stewart's character; it really detracts from the sense of reality. There are some really contrived scenes, to boot, and the director lathers on the drama and dramatic music at times. Nevertheless, Christmas Eve does have its moments and its charms - I just wish it was executed better overall. I only watched this one because it was free to watch on Amazon Prime, though I feel I should try to vet my choices more clearly in the future. Not terrible, not great, and not a festive staple by a long shot.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 11th Via: Amazon Prime Video Plot: On the night of Christmas Eve, an extended power outage in New York City traps six groups of people in elevators. Rating: 5.3/10