First Viewing Viewing Date: December 23rd Via: Netflix Plot: A group of female students is stalked by a stranger during their Christmas break. That is until the young sorority pledges discover that the killer is part of an underground college conspiracy. Rating: ZERO FUCKING STARS
First Viewing Plot: A local celebrity and successful nightclub manager, Tony Towers is also engaged to a younger woman, Sue. Things get a little strange when he embarks upon the 3:17 train to Nottingham for a Christmas family reunion.
Well, this was extremely disappointing. A late entry to the December marathon, Last Train to Christmas caught my attention via social media as I follow some of the actors who appear in this, and the fact that it's led by Michael Sheen and Cary Elwes certainly intrigued me, but there's not much to recommend here. After an intriguing and entertaining first act which ably demonstrates the clever time-travelling gimmick, the movie seriously drags throughout its second act before closing on a whimper. I appreciate that the different time periods are portrayed via different cinematic techniques, and that's easily the most successful aspect of the movie, but it doesn't add up to much when there's so little in the way of substance. Even the age make-up is mostly disappointing, with Sheen's older self looking extremely unconvincing at times. Sheen still carries the movie, however, and there's scarcely a wrong foot trodden by the talented cast, but the storytelling really lets this thing down. It's too ambitious and doesn't do enough with the terrific concept. I'll give it points for the concept, the acting and the visual execution (and, as I said, the breezy first act held my attention), but this is otherwise a disappointing TV movie that I doubt I'll ever revisit.
First Viewing Plot: A counterfeiter finds the true meaning of the holidays when he hides from the cops in a suburban neighborhood and befriends some of the local children.
A Disney telemovie from the 1980s which was pulled out of the vault for Disney+ revival, The Christmas Star caught my attention due to the presence of the late, great Ed Asner. What better to honor the cherished thespian than to watch one of his movies during my December marathon? And, happily, I dug it more than anticipated. Without emerging as an all-time classic, it's a Christmas movie that hits all the right notes with adequate filmmaking confidence, and it doesn't feel as cloying or as artificial as one might expect from a Disney production. Even though it's G-rated, there's still a semblance of reality permeating the movie, and, when it dabbles in the more fantastical right at the end, it's a surprisingly effective moment. There's shades of Bad Santa here, and I even discovered some parallels to the Aussie movie A Sunburnt Christmas from last year, though The Christmas Star is inoffensive and well-suited for children. Asner steals the show here, as expected, and has the right look for Santa Claus.
First Viewing Plot: A ride share driver's life is turned upside down after an unexpected series of misfortunes.
Not strictly a Christmas movie but still sufficiently related to be counted among this year's Christmastime viewings, Night Drive is an enthralling low-budget indie thriller with big ambitions. Produced for a paltry sum of money, it looks visually slick throughout and features a terrific cast; the Aussie-born Sophie Dalah is a particular standout as Charlotte, coming across as charming yet dangerous. Admittedly, not everything works here; a third-act sequence in which Russell (AJ Bowen) is following Charlotte's directions but is held up by police should be taut and intense (ร la Collateral), but comes across as silly and theatrical. However, there are far more hits than misses with this film. Free of political grandstanding, Night Drive is a rock-solid night at the movies during December or any time of the year.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 20th Via: Amazon Prime Video (via VPN) Plot: A ride share driver's life is turned upside down after an unexpected series of misfortunes. Rating: 6.9/10
First Viewing Plot: Abby intends to propose to her girlfriend, Harper, while spending Christmas with Harper's family. However, Abby soon finds out that Harper's family don't know they're a couple - and don't even know that she's gay.
When I watch a Christmas movie, I expect a certain level of charm and/or humour, but mostly I expect some escapism to deliver some Christmas cheer. Happiest Season does nothing of the sort. This is not so much a movie but a piece of activism, complete with "down with the patriarchy" themes to supplement the lesbian romance at the centre of the story. It's not even bold because such a concept occupies a "safe space" in 2021 - this would've been more groundbreaking in the '80s or '90s. Therefore, it has nothing new to say. And it doesn't help that every hoary rom-com clichรฉ comes out to play, from the gay best friend to exes coming out of the woodwork, secrets being kept from the family, etc. Happiest Season didn't make me laugh or cry, and I wasn't even invested in the story. I expected more.
First Viewing Plot: The Martians kidnap Santa Claus because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents.
Great Odin's raven, this is terrible. I was at least hoping for a "so bad it's good" type of B-movie (or Z-movie, as it were) that I could laugh at, but I was shit out of luck. The infamously awful Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has been on my list since I first started rounding up annual Christmas movies, and now I kinda wish that I never bothered - although now I can finally say that I sat through it, at least. Boring and incompetent, the film has precisely no fun with its hammy premise, with laughably atrocious sets and costumes that wouldn't pass muster in an old Doctor Who serial. I wanted to see Santa actually doing battle with the Martians, but we don't get that. Instead, the movie is mostly bad actors standing around on cheap sets saying forgettable dialogue. I'm surprised this hasn't been remade yet, as there are infinite possibilities around Santa doing battle with aliens. According to IMDb, a remake is in development... I guess I'll check it out.
First Viewing Plot: Upon learning of a terminal illness, a shy woman decides to sell all her possessions and live it up at a posh Central European hotel.
A remake of the old Ealing comedy of the same name starring Alec Guinness, Last Holiday is a perfectly reasonable contemporary comedy: it's well-made, light, enjoyable, inoffensive and humorous, with a central moral message about living life to the fullest. It's also not strictly a Christmas movie; although it's set at Christmastime, the film does barely anything to tie into this (which is bizarre), and it could have been set at any time of the year. I can't say I'm a Queen Latifah fan, and she does mug for the camera from time to time, but her leading performance is mostly fine here, and it's fun to see the inimitable Giancarlo Esposito in a comedy, years before his Breaking Bad days. It's formulaic and predictable, and changes the ending of the original movie for something more upbeat and cheery. As far as these types of films go, you could do worse than Last Holiday.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 18th Via: Amazon Prime Video Plot: Upon learning of a terminal illness, a shy woman decides to sell all her possessions and live it up at a posh Central European hotel. Rating: 6.4/10
First Viewing Plot: The well-off Smith family has four beautiful daughters. 17-year old Esther has fallen in love with the boy next door who has just moved in, John. The family is shocked when Mr. Smith reveals that he has been transferred to New York for work, meaning that the family will have to leave St. Louis.
The last holiday classic I have lined up for this Christmas season, Meet Me in St. Louis did not impress me much, but neither did it repulse me. It's a perfectly fine musical romance partly set at Christmastime, and it carries all of the hallmarks of old Hollywood flicks from this era: colourful cinematography, ample musical numbers, Judy Garland, etc. Unfortunately, the story failed to adequately draw me in, the second act, in particular, is short on momentum, and it's too long for such a simplistic romantic fable. However, it's nice to finally tick this one off the list.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 18th Via: iTunes Store Plot: The well-off Smith family has four beautiful daughters. 17-year old Esther has fallen in love with the boy next door who has just moved in, John. The family is shocked when Mr. Smith reveals that he has been transferred to New York for work, meaning that the family will have to leave St. Louis. Rating: 6.0/10
First Viewing Plot: In this origin story of Father Christmas, an ordinary boy (with a loyal pet mouse and a reindeer at his side) sets out on an extraordinary adventure to find his father who is on a quest to discover the fabled village of Elfhelm.
And now for something more contemporary and recent, we have A Boy Called Christmas, which only just appeared on the iTunes Store in Australia just in time to squeeze it in before Christmas. I can't say I expected a bright and colourful Christmas fantasy movie from the director of the Poltergeist remake and the writer of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, but the resulting flick certainly exceeded my expectations. It's not life-changing or revolutionary, and it's hard to shake the feeling that we're just seeing yet another movie with its own take on Santa Claus lore, but the "Santa Claus as a child" angle is unique enough to justify telling this story. The sumptuous visuals are a treat throughout, with lovely production design giving vivid life to this festive vision, and it's clear that plenty of money was spent on the flick as it doesn't look cheap or made-for-TV. The cherry on top is Stephen Merchant who again flexes his wonderful comedic chops to play a talking mouse - and I'm again reminded that Merchant should be in more movies. A Boy Called Christmas is aimed towards the younger demographic, but it doesn't pander to them - it's simply a family-friendly Christmas fantasy, and adults will certainly find it enjoyable. I wouldn't go as far as to call it an instant classic that I'll watch every December, but not everything needs to be at that level. A Christmas movie that's "pretty good" is just fine with me.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 18th Via: iTunes Store Plot: In this origin story of Father Christmas, an ordinary boy (with a loyal pet mouse and a reindeer at his side) sets out on an extraordinary adventure to find his father who is on a quest to discover the fabled village of Elfhelm. Rating: 6.9/10