First Viewing Plot: Abby intends to propose to her girlfriend, Harper, while spending Christmas with Harper's family. However, Abby soon finds out that Harper's family don't know they're a couple - and don't even know that she's gay.
When I watch a Christmas movie, I expect a certain level of charm and/or humour, but mostly I expect some escapism to deliver some Christmas cheer. Happiest Season does nothing of the sort. This is not so much a movie but a piece of activism, complete with "down with the patriarchy" themes to supplement the lesbian romance at the centre of the story. It's not even bold because such a concept occupies a "safe space" in 2021 - this would've been more groundbreaking in the '80s or '90s. Therefore, it has nothing new to say. And it doesn't help that every hoary rom-com clichรฉ comes out to play, from the gay best friend to exes coming out of the woodwork, secrets being kept from the family, etc. Happiest Season didn't make me laugh or cry, and I wasn't even invested in the story. I expected more.
First Viewing Plot: The Martians kidnap Santa Claus because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents.
Great Odin's raven, this is terrible. I was at least hoping for a "so bad it's good" type of B-movie (or Z-movie, as it were) that I could laugh at, but I was shit out of luck. The infamously awful Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has been on my list since I first started rounding up annual Christmas movies, and now I kinda wish that I never bothered - although now I can finally say that I sat through it, at least. Boring and incompetent, the film has precisely no fun with its hammy premise, with laughably atrocious sets and costumes that wouldn't pass muster in an old Doctor Who serial. I wanted to see Santa actually doing battle with the Martians, but we don't get that. Instead, the movie is mostly bad actors standing around on cheap sets saying forgettable dialogue. I'm surprised this hasn't been remade yet, as there are infinite possibilities around Santa doing battle with aliens. According to IMDb, a remake is in development... I guess I'll check it out.
First Viewing Plot: Upon learning of a terminal illness, a shy woman decides to sell all her possessions and live it up at a posh Central European hotel.
A remake of the old Ealing comedy of the same name starring Alec Guinness, Last Holiday is a perfectly reasonable contemporary comedy: it's well-made, light, enjoyable, inoffensive and humorous, with a central moral message about living life to the fullest. It's also not strictly a Christmas movie; although it's set at Christmastime, the film does barely anything to tie into this (which is bizarre), and it could have been set at any time of the year. I can't say I'm a Queen Latifah fan, and she does mug for the camera from time to time, but her leading performance is mostly fine here, and it's fun to see the inimitable Giancarlo Esposito in a comedy, years before his Breaking Bad days. It's formulaic and predictable, and changes the ending of the original movie for something more upbeat and cheery. As far as these types of films go, you could do worse than Last Holiday.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 18th Via: Amazon Prime Video Plot: Upon learning of a terminal illness, a shy woman decides to sell all her possessions and live it up at a posh Central European hotel. Rating: 6.4/10
First Viewing Plot: The well-off Smith family has four beautiful daughters. 17-year old Esther has fallen in love with the boy next door who has just moved in, John. The family is shocked when Mr. Smith reveals that he has been transferred to New York for work, meaning that the family will have to leave St. Louis.
The last holiday classic I have lined up for this Christmas season, Meet Me in St. Louis did not impress me much, but neither did it repulse me. It's a perfectly fine musical romance partly set at Christmastime, and it carries all of the hallmarks of old Hollywood flicks from this era: colourful cinematography, ample musical numbers, Judy Garland, etc. Unfortunately, the story failed to adequately draw me in, the second act, in particular, is short on momentum, and it's too long for such a simplistic romantic fable. However, it's nice to finally tick this one off the list.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 18th Via: iTunes Store Plot: The well-off Smith family has four beautiful daughters. 17-year old Esther has fallen in love with the boy next door who has just moved in, John. The family is shocked when Mr. Smith reveals that he has been transferred to New York for work, meaning that the family will have to leave St. Louis. Rating: 6.0/10
First Viewing Plot: In this origin story of Father Christmas, an ordinary boy (with a loyal pet mouse and a reindeer at his side) sets out on an extraordinary adventure to find his father who is on a quest to discover the fabled village of Elfhelm.
And now for something more contemporary and recent, we have A Boy Called Christmas, which only just appeared on the iTunes Store in Australia just in time to squeeze it in before Christmas. I can't say I expected a bright and colourful Christmas fantasy movie from the director of the Poltergeist remake and the writer of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, but the resulting flick certainly exceeded my expectations. It's not life-changing or revolutionary, and it's hard to shake the feeling that we're just seeing yet another movie with its own take on Santa Claus lore, but the "Santa Claus as a child" angle is unique enough to justify telling this story. The sumptuous visuals are a treat throughout, with lovely production design giving vivid life to this festive vision, and it's clear that plenty of money was spent on the flick as it doesn't look cheap or made-for-TV. The cherry on top is Stephen Merchant who again flexes his wonderful comedic chops to play a talking mouse - and I'm again reminded that Merchant should be in more movies. A Boy Called Christmas is aimed towards the younger demographic, but it doesn't pander to them - it's simply a family-friendly Christmas fantasy, and adults will certainly find it enjoyable. I wouldn't go as far as to call it an instant classic that I'll watch every December, but not everything needs to be at that level. A Christmas movie that's "pretty good" is just fine with me.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 18th Via: iTunes Store Plot: In this origin story of Father Christmas, an ordinary boy (with a loyal pet mouse and a reindeer at his side) sets out on an extraordinary adventure to find his father who is on a quest to discover the fabled village of Elfhelm. Rating: 6.9/10
First Viewing Plot: Three Devil's Island escapees hide out in the house of a kindly merchant and repay his kindness by helping him and his family out of several crises.
Another worthwhile Christmas classic that has been on my list for many years, We're No Angels is a fun and funny festive flick from Casablanca director Michael Curtiz. The central trio, even though they are escaped criminals, are instantly likeable; the casting is fantastic, with Humphrey Bogart proving himself an able comedic performer. As with The Shop Around the Corner, this film is based on a play and it does certainly feel like a play due to the limited scope, but Curtiz does enough to make the story feel cinematic. Admittedly, the pacing is not always successful during the first half, and I found myself much more engaged in the second half, but this is a minor quibble.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 17th Via: iTunes Store Plot: Three Devil's Island escapees hide out in the house of a kindly merchant and repay his kindness by helping him and his family out of several crises. Rating: 7.7/10
Viewed: Season 1
I'm a massive fan of 2010's MacGruber and I've constantly watched my Blu-ray over the last eleven years; it's a contemporary cult comedy classic that I recommend at every opportunity. After years of sequel talks, the announcement of a sequel in the form of a TV show got me extremely excited, especially as it reunites the three leads (Will Forte, Kristen Wiig and Ryan Phillippe), while original director Jorma Taccone also returned as a writer and director. The resulting eight-episode season is not quite as great as the movie, but it's a solid continuation all the same, and it's a thrill to see Forte playing this role once again. Rather than a serialised show in the vein of MacGuyver, this is just a four-hour movie that has been cut up into half-hour episodes, so there is filler and it's not always on-point, but there are more pluses than minuses. There's action, I laughed out loud several times, it still looks cinematic, and (thankfully) it's free of woke political grandstanding. Indeed, it would've been easy to use this as another platform to demonise "straight white men" once again, especially since MacGruber is such an idiot, but the makers of the show, fortunately, avoid such an angle: Mac is still the hero, through and through. There is a set-up for Season 2 that I pray will occur (no cliffhanger, though, which I appreciated), but given the cult status of the MacGruber property, we'll have to wait and see.
First Viewing Plot: A debonair angel comes to Earth to help an Episcopalian bishop and his wife in their quest to raise money for the new church.
I've honestly felt guilty about not liking some of the traditional old Christmas movies so far this December, but I'm determined to seek out more of them. Thankfully, The Bishop's Wife did not disappoint me in the least; here's a charming, old-fashioned Christmas drama with wonderful actors (Cary Grant is one of the most charismatic actors in history, period) and an enchanting story. The movie hooked me in from the start with an intriguing introduction to Grant's angel character, Dudley, and it held my attention for the majority of the nearly two-hour running time. Due to the vintage and the nature of the narrative, I was reminded of It's a Wonderful Life to some extent, though (obviously) it doesn't quite reach the dizzying heights of that Frank Capra comedy classic. I'm looking forward to revisiting The Bishop's Wife in the future.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 16th Via: Amazon Prime Video Plot: A debonair angel comes to Earth to help an Episcopalian bishop and his wife in their quest to raise money for the new church. Rating: 7.8/10
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 16th Via: Cinema Plot: With Spider-Man's identity now revealed, Peter asks Doctor Strange for help. When a spell goes wrong, dangerous foes from other worlds start to appear, forcing Peter to discover what it truly means to be Spider-Man. Rating: 8.9/10
First Viewing Plot: A food writer who has lied about being the perfect housewife must try to cover her deception when her boss and a returning war hero invite themselves to her home for a traditional family Christmas.
With Netflix's meagre Christmas offerings out of the way (well, I watched as many as I believe I could stomach - a whole two), I turned my attention back to well-known Christmas flicks that I've been meaning to watch for years. Another traditional holiday classic that is still held in high esteem, I must admit I was somewhat disappointed with Christmas in Connecticut. There are no problems with the story (which was borrowed wholesale for Christmas on the Farm) or the cast, but it's just extremely dated and doesn't stand up as well as movies of a similar vintage (Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life remains a dizzying yardstick). There are laughs here and there, and the actors commit to the material, but it's only intermittently engaging and it can't shake the feeling that everything was filmed on soundstages. Not terrible, but not an immortal Christmas classic.
First Viewing Viewing Date: December 15th Via: iTunes Store Plot: A food writer who has lied about being the perfect housewife must try to cover her deception when her boss and a returning war hero invite themselves to her home for a traditional family Christmas. Rating: 5.7/10