movie reviews by PvtCaboose91

"You're dumber than you think I think you are."

This Roman Polanski effort is a true classic movie; Chinatown is an excellent, stylish, fascinating and gripping thriller that is based on the novel by Robert Towne.

Cleverly, the film has been made in a very 1940's style - the acting, the score, even the credits. Suffice to say, the plot is a lot more complex than anything one would have seen in a movie released during the 40s.

There isn't much I can reveal about the plot without the spoiling the whole thing, but I will try to write a brief outline. Jake Gittes (Nicholson) is a former policeman from Chinatown who is now a highly successful private investigator. A woman comes to him with a suspected case of marriage infidelity. While this seems like a very open-and-shut case of simple surveillance, Jake gets himself mixed up in one massive mystery that he struggles to uncover.

In tradition with many films of this style, the certain style is what makes it so brilliant. And the screenplay is what makes the movie work. That, and the actors.

Without work from Nicholson or Dunaway the film would have sunk without a trace. Jack Nicholson is absolutely exceptional here. His performance is just spot on, and displays such depth. Likewise with Faye Dunaway whose performance is just sublime.

And Polanski's direction...well, despite his personal life being a mess and being a wanted fugitive, he is one damn fine director! He crafted this stylish cinema noir exceptionally well.

Certainly I think the film is a tad overrated and the ruckus may be a bit hyperbolic, but nevertheless I found Chinatown to be a true classic. Driven by a fascinating screenplay and great performances, this is one not to miss!

"You picked the wrong day not to use the ATM."

Chaos is just another cop/bad guy thriller with a few good names attached. I never expected this to be anything more than it turned out to be, which is disappointing especially when you consider the talent involved.

When a cop is suspended after a questionable decision during a hostage crisis, a group of five men commence a bank robbery downtown and will only negotiate with suspended cop Conners (Statham).

But when the criminals escape and disappear, the police must now work to flush them out and discover what really happened.

Effective cop thriller certainly has its moments, but it's sorely lacking in many aspects. First of all; the script. By using so much cop slang throughout the running time, the plot twists aren't in any way understandable and the film wants the audience to think far too hard about everything. Now I detest filmmakers who spoon feed everything to the audience, but there's a fine line between spoon feeding and not letting the audience understand what the hell is actually going on!

There's also some weird, miss-guided guff about the chaos theory thrown in there just to give the film a more promising title.

The film's pacing is another issue. With little action, the audience is forced to sit through endless scenes of drama that attempt to make the film smarter than it actually is. Still, Statham carries the movie quite well and there are a number of highly impressive names here as well.

The twist at the end is also kind of redeeming, and the film ends with a climax that is both unexpected and unconventional. It's just a shame the rest of the film didn't carry such intelligence.

Overall, Chaos is worth seeing but you won't be regretting it if you give it a pass.

"I look at this town, and I don't like what I see."

Cop Land is a film that changed my overall view of actor Sylvester Stallone. For Stallone, he wanted to bury the type-cast action hero and star in something different. I was very impressed with the results here.

Sheriff Freddy Heflin (Stallone) lives in the pleasant town of Garrison, New Jersey. For years he has turned a blind eye to the police corruption that he has no control over; after all, Freddy cannot to anything to prevent this in a town full of cops. But as the stench of corruption worsens, Freddy finally realises that the town is filled with mob connections and murder and can ignore it no longer.

The cast is absolutely first-rate and cannot be flawed. Stallone, Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta, Harvey Keitel, Robert Patrick, Michael Rapaport...the list goes on. All big names that I found to be exceptional in this dialogue-orientated crime drama.

The first half of the movie sells the premise exceptionally and presents us with strong movie-making. Unfortunately a section in the second half turns over to conventions and predictability, but this is worth it for the tremendously entertaining and extremely violent conclusion.

Writer/director James Mangold does an extraordinary job. He presents us with a very plausible plot, and some good twists. It's a shame, though, that some of the twists aren't properly distinguished.

Stallone proves very able at drama rather than action, and his dialogue is more understandable than usual.

Overall, Cop Land is highly entertaining and extremely well crafted. Marred only by traditional conventions that appear in this genre too frequently. It's a shame that this movie is so overlooked! Recommended.

"To a new world of gods and monsters!"

Successful sequel to the classic 1931 film Frankenstein is just as good as the original, if not even better.

Taking place just after the events of Frankenstein, this film again follows The Monster (Karloff) who survived the blaze in a burning windmill that supposedly killed him. He rises from the rubble to run rampage once more.

A shadowy scientist named Dr. Pretorius (Thesiger) is determined to make a mate for the monster, and teach him how to speak. Pretorius blackmails Dr. Henry Frankenstein (Clive), forcing him back into the laboratory to revive another corpse - this time a woman - that will become The Monster's partner.

This remarkable sequel has been regarded as better than the original, and I tend to agree. Bride of Frankenstein reunites most of the original cast, including Karloff and Clive among others.

Director James Whale also returns to the director's chair to craft this quality classic horror movie. Karloff's portrayal is perfect. He makes a tragic monster who is made a lot closer to the source material. Instead of killing everything in his path he acknowledges the kindness of others who wish to help, and his halting words of dialogue are haunting.

Colin Clive returns to the role that he made back in 1931, and still retains the character's intrigue as well as his determination.

Special effects and make-up look amazing considering that it's a film made over 70 years ago.

Overall, Bride of Frankenstein is classic horror balanced out with comic relief. It has dated badly, but the brilliance still shines through and makes for a very historic 75 minutes of viewing.

"Our column has made the farthest advance! We have outrun the other Panzers! The eyes of Germany are on us! The Fuhrer himself will decorate me. We have done it Conrad! We have done it!"

I will never understand why this war film was so heavily pasted by critics and audiences. Battle of the Bulge is a true classic, and stands among some of the finest war movies ever made. Granted it's no-where near perfect, but well made and with good production values.

The film chronicles the battle that took place in December 1944 between the Germans and the Americans. One of the main focuses of the story is the Germans recruiting English-speaking German soldiers to disguise themselves as Americans and parachute behind enemy lines to sabotage the defence.

Like most classic war films, the film also shifts its focus to a host of different characters on both sides of the offensive. I found the production most impressive, as all the uniforms look great, each tank looks accurate and every detail is crafted brilliantly.

There are very good performances all round, including Robert Shaw as a strict German officer, and Henry Fonda as an American who predicts the assault. The battles look most impressive, especially the epic scale (like the number of extras, and the realistic props) but when compared to today's war movies it seems pretty tame in terms of gore.

It all seems very antique, but still stands as a fine movie even by today's standards. The director of The Longest Day, Ken Annakin, does a damn fine job of bringing the film to life. However it wasn't without flaws.

First off, the script felt rather banal at times. I am amazed that all the Germans speak fluent English when planning their attacks and while present in a war room.

Also, the film runs far too long. The dialogue is interesting, but it's not much of a history lesson.

Nonetheless, Battle of the Bulge is a good war film. It's enjoyable and entertaining, but very dated at the same time.

"You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us."

I doubt anyone would watch a comedy like this with hopes of it being a masterpiece. In all fairness, American Pie is not even close to being a masterpiece but at least it's a good slice of fluffy entertainment.

This American teen sex comedy is about a group of four teenagers; Jim (Biggs), Chris (Klein), Kevin (Nicholas) and Paul (Thomas). Like most American teenagers, all four are obsessed with sex. But they're in their final year of high school and they all remain virgins much to their dismay.

Despite trying desperately hard to lose their virginity, all four are unable to score with a girl. But the four guys soon develop a pact; that they will all lose their virginity by the night of their senior prom. But as fate would have it, the boys encounter overwhelming obstacles during their attempts at "becoming a man".

The film falls squarely into the coming-of-age genre. It is able to grasp the attention of its target audience because the portrayal of high school life is something that common teens can relate to.

Who knows, perhaps the film will invoke nostalgic memories in the minds of adults about their teenage years and the raging hormones of their youth.

I think the film succeeds in accurately portraying high school life, but the filmmakers are more concerned with raunchy gags rather that witty humour. I've never been an overall fan of sexual humour, so the film wasn't entirely to my taste. The use of humour that includes cracks about masturbation and other things in that vein get very tedious due to how frequent they are. I very rarely, if ever, found myself laughing.

The whole film is very stupid and embarrassing at times. There are some particularly explicit scenes (one including an apple pie...fans of the movie would know what I'm referring to), and a whole heap of foul language mixed in there as well.

The bottom line about American Pie is that it's a bit of simple light-hearted entertainment. It contains a disappointingly low number of laughs but contains a plot most of us can relate to. It's incredibly stupid and it's highly coarse at times as well. If you're a fan of these disappointing sex comedies then you'll probably enjoy it. If you want a bit of entertainment, you'll like it. But it's nothing more than an average film. Look out for a very sneaky reference to The Graduate.

"We live in the trenches out there. We fight. We try not to be killed, but sometimes we are. That's all."

Brilliant, relentless and heart-wrenching anti-war drama is still as powerful now as it was when released almost 80 year ago.

All Quiet on the Western Front is a classic war movie that is tragically overlooked due to its age, which is a real shame. The film is set during World War I from the perspective of a number of German teenagers brainwashed into thinking that fighting and dying for the Fatherland is glorious and a high honour.

Upon reaching the battle-grounds, no-one is ready for what they are exposed to. The whole film mainly follows young German Paul Baumer (Ayres) who lives to see many of his friends meet their untimely demise.

Told in grainy black and white, the movie feels like old documentary footage rather than a staged movie. It's this effect, coupled with the great performances that make this movie so memorable and classic.

The powerful anti-war themes underline the true malicious nature of humanity. The film was originally very controversial and was banned in many countries due to the relentless war themes, including some truly spectacular battles. For a 1930s movie, the battles look absolutely fantastic. Sure, modern audiences may be disappointed with the gore aspect but there are plenty of brutal scenes of stabbings, people getting mowed down with machine guns, limbs being blown off and the use of explosives.

All Quiet on the Western Front is a montage of memorable scenes that are remembered in film history. For those familiar with the movie, each scene is unforgettable and lead up to the final shot of a man reaching for a fatal butterfly.

Overall, All Quiet on the Western Front is a classic war movie that still delivers a powerful message decades after it was made. The anti-war themes are a prominent feature, and the final shot really hits home. Highly recommended!

"How can you expect to defeat me when you are just a man and I am forever?"

End of Days is a film that can be summed up with one simple statement: Schwarzenegger vs. Satan. For the fans of Schwarzenegger, I'm sure you'll delight in Arnie battling supernatural forces.

Unfortunately despite liking a number of Arnie's action movies, End of Days could be his worst action movie thus far. The film is ridiculous, stupid, overproduced, dumb, horrible and just plainly abysmal!

Basically, a girl named Christine (Tunney) is born in 1979 and is apparently "chosen by Satan" to be his bride. The Vatican is aware of her presence and aim to protect her. In the latter of 1999, just before the new Millennium, Christine is living with her stepmother and is being plagued with visions of Satan. Then Satan comes to Earth, takes the form of a human, and aims to find his bride that he chose 20 years ago.

Jericho Cane (Schwarzenegger) is still getting over the devastation of losing his family. He begins investigating strange occurrences to do with priests and other weird religious nut-cases. As it turns out, the Vatican have a sudden change of heart and now want to kill Christine before the beginning of the new Millennium as she can bring about the "end of days".

From there the film is a heap of religious mumbo jumbo filled with stupendous action that becomes embarrassingly not entertaining due to the poor nature in which it was created. I don't know where to start with my elaboration of that sentence...but basically the fast cuts look appalling. It suffers from the same syndrome as many modern action movies. Making fast cuts and using shaky cam in an attempt to please the "four-minute music video generation" of action movie-goers. As a result the action doesn't make a lick of sense and you can't make out anything.

Not to mention it was poorly edited, with continuity errors surfacing frequently. And the director made a "creative decision" to make the film clouded in darkness. As a result of this dismal concept, nothing can be made out. Everything is so dark and lacking in shadow detail that the action looks even worse.

And because there's so much action and little exposition, the whole movie is essentially religious gibberish with a few guns being fired and a lot of blood. The scenes of action get so monotonous towards the end that it isn't even worth your time.

And yet, it keeps getting even more stupendous towards the pathetic conclusion of the movie.

Usually I'd respect Arnie due to his skills during action scenes, but his performance is mind-numbingly bad! Maybe it would have worked as a drama with a good actor in the title role. But an action movie that's meant to be taken seriously that promotes Schwarzenegger as the film's primary acting talent? Give me a break!

There's also such a dreadful script and awful direction thrown in here as well. On top of this, the special effects weren't impressive at all.

The film also makes absolutely no sense. Schwarzenegger investigates murders and yet keeps saying he's not a cop, but a private citizen? The Vatican saying they will protect the girl...but all of a sudden get men to try and kill her? Satan magically grabs loads of henchman to fight against Schwarzenegger?! There's so much more I could describe here, but you don't need to get very far to know that this is certainly one to leave on the shelf.

Honestly, I think everything in this movie was bad. It would take pages to list all its flaws! The result is truly, painfully appalling and a no-brainer action movie. I don't think there were any redeeming features at all. Don't rent it, don't watch it, and don't even consider buying it! Lowest point: Arnie getting the crap beaten out of him by a granny.

"I want my life back!"

The 6th Day marks Schwarzenegger's return to sci-fi action with this typically entertaining saga about the topical issue of human cloning.

Set in the not-too-distant future, scientists have discovered a way to clone typical animals (including house-holds pets). But human cloning is outlawed when an experiment goes horribly wrong, with devastating results.

Despite this government restriction on the cloning of humans, a group of scientists work to perfect the technique. Enter typical house-hold husband Adam Gibson (Schwarzenegger) who becomes entangled in a conspiracy when he comes home to discover that he has been cloned and his life has been stolen from him. But the cloning scientists cloned him by mistake (of course it's a mistake to throw two Arnies into the mix), and once they discover their mistake they seek to eliminate Adam to avoid government action against them.

And thus begins a race against all odds as Adam battles to get his life back.

A very original idea, and made during the time when mankind had been most curious about cloning. The film was certainly made at the right time and has relevance to contemporary society...but face it, when you throw Schwarzenegger into a sci-fi action film you're not going to expect a masterpiece. The man cannot act overly well, but at least he's impressive during the action scenes.

And even though the film delivers a good message about its topic, it's still full of plot holes and incredible stupidity on the part of the villains. But of course it's merely an action film, not anything groundbreaking.

The performances were very mixed. Everyone knows that Schwarzenegger can't deliver his lines without making them sound contrived. This is no exception. There's a bit of intensity in his performance, but he's far from receiving an Oscar. Tony Goldwyn was a very intriguing villain. He does what he can with such a mediocre screenplay, but he's not enough to make up for Arnie's average performance here.

Most of the supporting cast are pretty good, but some of the more talented actors are given a side-line position. A shame, because with a bit less Arnie and a bit more talent this film could have made itself a little better.

The visual effects blew me away. For a film made in the age when CGI was still in its infancy, it sells the concept of the future exceptionally well. Especially with the high-tech weaponry and the high-tech computers.

The screenplay was standard. It was at least unpredictable, but we all knew how it was going to end. But despite this, it's an incredibly fun film to watch.

The 6th Day is a fairly impressive sci-fi/action film. There's some good action, some creative ideas and a clever concept of the future. Worth seeing.

"Gort! Klaatu barada nikto!"

The Day the Earth Stood Still is a brilliant, influential landmark science fiction production that stands the test of time. Many will see the film as dated and unnecessary, but truth be told the film has lost essentially none of its original impact. It delivers an exceptional message (that couldn't have come at a better time, I might add) and ends without outstaying its welcome.

This classic story marks one of the first alien invasion films, and it set the bar for things to come.

On one seemingly normal day in Washington, the army detects and unidentified aircraft moving at incredible speed. The alien spacecraft lands in the middle of Washington, and a humanoid alien named Klaatu (Rennie) heads out into civilisation. His mission is to warn the human race about their use of atomic weapons and its threat towards life-forms from other planets.

Klaatu places himself in the typical city to orient himself with the surrounding species, and try to talk some sense into humans. If humans do not cease atomic activities, the Earth faces obliteration as they threaten peace within the solar system.

The Day the Earth Stood Still is not only one of the greatest and most innovative science fiction films in existence, but one of the best films released by Hollywood during the 1950s. The imagination of the filmmakers is incredible. Made during the period when mankind actually was experimenting with such weapons, the film delivers a strong and powerful message about its stance on the whole situation.

Although it would be impossible for aliens to threaten us as strongly as they do in the movie, it gives the audience a true perspective of the capabilities of atomic weapons.

The direction by Robert Wise is exemplary. His direction allows the movie to move at a perfect pace over the reasonably short running time of 88 minutes. There was never a dull moment for me.

The whole cast did a commendable effort in bringing their characters to life. Michael Rennie especially delivered a downright ideal performance as the humanoid alien. As the central character, he breathes live into every line delivered and has a charming screen presence.

The special effects look amazing for its time. They are still hard to fault even by today's standards. And of course the eerie, atmospheric score by Bernard Herrman suited the tone of the film superbly.

The Day the Earth Stood Still is decades ahead of its time, and is far superior to the typical invasion flicks of the 1950s. A must for science fiction buffs. Highly recommended.