Reviews by PvtCaboose91

"I shall remember this moment: the silence, the twilight, the bowl of strawberries, the bowl of milk. Your faces in the evening light. Mikael asleep, Jof with his lyre. I shall try to remember our talk. I shall carry this memory carefully in my hands as if it were a bowl brimful of fresh milk. It will be a sign to me, and a great sufficiency."

Ingmar Bergman put his country on the cinematic map with The Seventh Seal; an atmospheric, peculiar, eerie, ambiguous production that is a surreal masterpiece of the highest order. Words cannot accurately describe the appeal of this movie. Needless to say the film is certainly not for all tastes. It requires a viewer who is patient and whose attention span is not limited to mainly tolerating fast-paced films.

The Seventh Seal moves at a snail pace and is strictly for those who can easily endure rich, perplexing world cinema. I will admit that I quickly grew tired of reading subtitles for each line of dialogue. Of course this is not a negative downfall. Foreign countries would say precisely the same thing about an American film. Foreign filmmakers should be given the opportunity to craft a film in their native language and I of course respect this.

The film opens as a disillusioned knight named Antonius Block, played by Max von Sydow, is returning from the crusades in the 14th century when he is confronted by Death (Ekerot) who casually tells him that his time is up.

However, Antonius is not willing to give up so easily and challenges Death to a game of chess for his life. While the chess match is still happening, Antonius can live. And if he checkmates Death then it could mean a significantly longer life indeed. Alas, Antonius travels across a country now stricken by the Black Death (i.e. the plague) in search of a concrete sign that would implicate that God really exists. No matter where he goes, Death is always following in his footsteps.

The film is both elegant and extensively atmospheric. Most of the entrancing panorama we're presented with is apocalyptic and filled with dread. The black and white photography further retains this quality. As the characters travel across the land they find devastated villages and unnerving forest scenery.

The film is also rich in religious themes that also pose a question to the viewer; does God really exist? The final image also raises questions about what occurs after death. We see a string of silhouetted figures dancing with arms outstretched as they are about to enter the unknown.

The Seventh Seal is also a film that is heavily ambiguous. What does each character symbolise? The audience is left to draw their own conclusions after the credits have rolled. Not many films similar to this have the eminence of extensive ambiguity, chiefly in a religious sense. The film has been widely regarded as one of the world's most important pieces of cinema. There is little mystery surrounding this.

The performances weren't excessively engaging. There are some pretty distasteful characters, but they all appear to be allegorical (similar to the film as a whole, in that sense). Max von Sydow had the hardest job of pulling off such an important character. He adds intensity to the game of chess and he is quite enthralling.

Director Ingmar Bergman did a fantastic job with this film. His direction will keep one mesmerised for the film's duration. It moves at a slow pace, granted, however the classy direction allows something interesting to appear on screen quite frequently.

The Seventh Seal is a film that won't be appreciated by all tastes. It falls into the category of 'world cinema' so expect to be reading subtitles the whole way through. I guess if you're too lazy to read subtitles then this would be one to leave on the shelf.

The Seventh Seal is captivating and surreal, as well as dark, disturbing and grim. Its sheer indistinctness alone makes it worthy of a screening.

"When she was born, that's when things went wrong for us."

Traditional rich Maori culture is preserved marvellously with Whale Rider; this captivating slice of New Zealand filmmaking. Whale Rider was a complete surprise for me. Habitually, I had mistaken the film for some propaganda that promotes the ideologies of the Maori culture. On the contrary, Whale Rider was the farthest thing from my initial anticipations.

The film offers an exquisite glimpse of traditional Maori customs and traditions wrapped up in this touching, tear-jerking, moving drama.

Paikea Apirana (Castle-Hughes) is born into a Maori family that comes from a long line of tribal chiefs. Her father Porourangi (Curtis) is the first born son of the chief Koro (Paratene), a direct descendant of the original leader of the Maori tribe. Paikea was named after the original chief who arrived in New Zealand on the back of a whale - he was the whale rider. Koro naturally expected Porourangi to produce a son to continue carrying the long line. But Porourangi's wife dies during childbirth after she delivers twins. The boy twin dies, leaving the girl. Porourangi leaves New Zealand after naming his daughter Paikea much to the horror of his father.

The story then resumes eleven years later when we find Paikea living with her grandparents. Her grandfather Koro has no use for a girl as a grandchild and feels it would be infuriating to see a girl become chief. Paikea does not see it like this and yearns for the respect of her grandfather.

Whale Rider is a beautiful, poignant, moving tale rich in powerful themes and stunning performances. Keisha Castle-Hughes hits all the right notes in her debut performance. She became one of the youngest people ever to be nominated for an Oscar. And it was for Best Actress. She was up against people like Diane Keaton and Naomi Watts. She was favoured over the hundreds (probably thousands) of actresses working during 2002 and she's a young Maori who had never done acting before. Keisha's performance is guaranteed to make you cry. It doesn't matter if you're made of machine parts; your eyes will not be dry! Rawiri Paratene was another truly remarkable member of the cast. His character is quite despicable at times, but his performance was excellent. Cliff Curtis plays a very minor role. It's disappointing that he didn't surface more often. Despite his small screen time he certainly makes his mark for the scenes he features in.

I will admit that the strong accents present in every single cast member were a little distracting at times. As a matter of fact, I'm not a fan of the accent at all. And yet the actors never struck a false note. When the characters want to be likeable they certainly are. And for the characters we're not supposed to like, we don't. The chemistry was sometimes astoundingly brilliant. The obvious camaraderie of the cast shines like a new penny. Never was there a contrived moment of dialogue delivery. Everyone is engaging, and everyone contributes to the film's compelling nature.

Whale Rider is a stunning film that also showcases some gorgeous visual images. The landscape, the nature, the animals...they all look encouragingly dazzling. The film also triggered the thought of another New Zealand film - Once Were Warriors. Both productions address a different aspect of living in New Zealand, and both are filled with strong drama. Whale Rider is easier viewing of course and a lot less violent. This is made up with its dominant themes.

It came as no surprise that Whale Rider was nominated for so many awards, and walked away with a sleuth of wins. The film was a refreshing breath of fresh air in a year that boasted such a number of high profile releases. In a nutshell, Whale Rider is essential viewing.

"If you lose this war don't blame me."

The 1920s was the era for old black and white movie comedies. This era was ruled by three factions: Charlie Chaplin, The Marx Brothers and Buster Keaton. The General is a very short (75-minute) but classic silent film from Keaton.

Back in the days when these films were released it was pivotal to include a bunch of fantastically hilarious sight gags to keep the audience entertained for the film's duration. Because silent movies are images being shown to simple piano music these sight gags were a necessity. Up until I finally watched this movie I would never have known how side-splitting the humour of 1920's slapstick truly is. As much as I love watching Charlie Chaplin's old movies, Keaton is also a guru when it comes to his art of being an acrobatic comedian.

The General was not a success when it was first released, but over the years the film now regularly appears on lists of the greatest movies ever made. The plot is really quite straightforward: Johnnie Gray (Keaton) is a Southern train engineer at the start of the Civil War. Johnnie is encouraged to enlist by his girl Annabelle (Mack) who believes it is an honourable and courageous thing to join the army.

But Johnnie is rejected when trying to enlist. Unbeknownst to him, it's because the enlisting office believes he will be more useful as an engineer as opposed to a soldier. Annabelle doesn't believe Johnnie's story, instead thinking that he's a coward who refuses to enlist. Unless Johnnie is wearing a uniform, Annabelle will not allow him to speak. Meanwhile a group of Union spies decide to steal a locomotive. Predictably, they choose the locomotive belonging to Johnnie. And in the process of stealing it they also unintentionally kidnap Annabelle. Now it's up to Johnnie to save both of his loves - his girl and his locomotive.

The General is beautifully constructed. For such an old production I would never have expected to see such scope and scale. Some of the battles (non-violent, of course) feature a whole heap of extras as well as some extensive sets. It's obvious that the film was made with a lot of love. The stunts were executed remarkably. There are countless occasions when I found myself laughing or cheering when Keaton performed a highly amusing acrobatic stunt. The stunt gags get better quality as the film moves along. The final train chase was both highly entertaining as well as being frequently hilarious.

And in those days what you see is what you get; some of the stunts were performed without any insurance on hand or many safety precautions. Everything looks real and this is what makes the film so special. We will never see shots like these filmed during present day without the aid of digital effects. A tragedy and a fact.

Surprisingly, The General is one of the most accurate portrayals of the Civil War. Every detail is meticulously designed; props, costumes, sets, etc. Top marks for precision, Mr. Keaton!!

The General is probably Buster Keaton's most famous production. The film is a total riot from start to finish. It's hilarious and it carries a high sense of excitement. The fantastic music was another asset that made the film a lot more exhilarating. The film is very deserving of all he accolades it received, and then some. One of the best silent movie comedies made to date!

"What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a gun before? What do you want me to do, count three like they do in the movies?"

Regarded as one of the essential Bogart/Bacall films, The Big Sleep is a stimulating plunge into an entertaining slice of detective fiction. Filmmakers these days just don't make movies like The Big Sleep anymore; the film is stylish and atmospheric, set in a world where tough guys are tough guys and women were babes.

The highlight of the classic picture, of course, is the rich screen partnership of Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall (they were married at the time). When one thinks of Bogart, his big break usually springs to mind; that is, The Maltese Falcon. Howard Hawks is no John Huston; however Hawks' refined direction sets the atmosphere of intrigue and exhilaration. From the first scene I was already hooked; sharp screenplay, witty line dispensing from first-rate cast, classy atmosphere. It's this combination that keeps the audience spellbound from start to finish.

Based on the Raymond Chandler novel of the same name, Bogart plays private eye detective Philip Marlowe who is given the assignment of sorting out a simple blackmail case for a wealthy old man. The case involves the man's younger daughter Carmen (Vickers) and it appears to be fairly straightforward. However, the plot thickens when Marlowe discovers that there is more to the case than meets the eye.

What follows is an absorbing tale filled with murders and abundant intrigue; there is certainly nothing dull to surface around here.

Some people fed The Big Sleep a mouthful of criticism because of how convoluted the plot turned out to be. This is true; the film is full of plot twists and is so complex that not even the author knows who committed one murder, but the film is so incredibly entertaining that I was willing to overlook it.

The Big Sleep is a sizzling thriller that features a first class array of actors. Humphrey Bogart is formidable in his quintessential role of a private detective falling for a dame. Bogey seems to never tire of playing the same kind of role on many occasions. Of course, this is no drawback. The man is now experienced in such a role and his stature perfectly suits the character of Philip Marlowe.

Lauren Bacall will always be an exemplary accompaniment for Bogey on screen. The chemistry is sizzling between them when the screen is shared. The supporting cast is a dazzling array of stunning female actresses, including Mary Vickers and Dorothy Malone among many others.

Director Hawks had some serious boots to fill due to Bogey being one of the world's much loved actors working at the time of release. After The Maltese Falcon and Casablanca it would have been a hard act to follow. But Hawks is skilled in the director's chair; always establishing a very classy atmosphere that keeps the audience enthralled as the mysteries keep getting unravelled.

The film also boasts quite a large on screen body count and quite a bit of violence. This only heightens the film's status as one of the most unforgettable films in cinematic history.

The Big Sleep will always be remembered amongst the most memorable films from Bogart's career. From start to finish I was completely captivated by the impressive filmmaking in every aspect. The film is another classic that continues to deepen my fascination in old black and white movies. I can't stress this enough; no-one would be able to match the mystery and captivation if the film was made in colour, or make during present day.

"Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from! I think you're evil. EVIL!"

As Hitchcock's career progressed, he created some of his finest work. The Birds is a thriller of reference superiority, and is undoubtedly one of Hitchcock's best films.

No-one can match Hitchcock when it comes to sheer suspense and terror, and this film is no exception. What I admire most about Hitchcock is that he's never afraid to attempt a new style of thriller - in this case making a thriller sans music. There is not a single note of music throughout the movie, and because of Hitchcock's inspirational direction you will be too engaged in the terror to actually realise this. Not many directors can accomplish this degree of suspense and horror without the assistance of a composer, but Hitchcock proves skilled in this aspect.

Melanie Daniels (Hedren) is shopping in San Francisco when she meets potential boyfriend Mitch (Taylor) in a petshop. After Mitch leaves, Melanie is intrigued by Mitch and decides to pursue him in the hope of a probable relationship.

Melanie follows him to an insignificant North Californian town. Shortly after this, Melanie is swooping by a seagull and what follows is a bizarre set of circumstances as our allies from the sky begin attacking humankind.

The Birds is a PG rated suspense film, but it can only be viewed by those game enough to sit through some terrifying horror scenes that are even effective despite the age of the movie. Many may look upon the film as dated, but Hitchcock's direction is still as effective as it was when the film was first released.

And of course the cast were all first rate. They are able to instil a sense of sheer terror from their acting whenever a flock of birds appeared on screen. Many will think that the birds look corny and a remake is necessary (Michael Bay is currently gearing up for the dreaded remake), but the film was never about the quality of the special effects (that are fantastic nonetheless). The cinematography and just the image of a flock of birds is what made the film so scary. It will keep audiences on the edge of their seat, without a clue about what will happen next.

Based on a short story, Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds is an outstanding thriller. Probably considered tame by mainstream contemporary audiences, but I found the film to be almost flawless.

What I also admire about Hitchcock's work here is that he was bold enough to tag the film with an uncertain ending. At first I found this unsatisfying. But upon closer inspection I discovered that Hitchcock used this effect to create the impression of "unending terror" (direct quote from the man himself). The story of the main characters finished at the end of the movie, and it was a best place to end it.

Perfect suspense, skilfully constructed, and the film is so unbelievably intense that you will never look at a flock of birds the same way again. Classic Hitchcock!

"It's a hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna have."

Unforgiven could be the greatest western film in the history of cinema. Clint Eastwood proves an able director for this stunning film, and shows that he has learnt much from starring in spaghetti westerns by Sergio Leone.

Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman play William Munny and Ned Logan; two retired gunslingers who live tranquil lives. After a group of cowboys horribly disfigure a prostitute, a bounty is put on their head. Eastwood and Freeman answer the call, hoping to put an end to their gunslinging after picking up the sizable reward of $1,000.

As the two ride across colonial America with the help of a young wannabe cowboy (Woolvett), the sheriff of the town of Big Whiskey, Little Bill (Hackman), is doing everything he can to discourage bounty hunters as an act of social prejudice.

For its whole running time, the film is absolutely remarkable. Eastwood's sublime direction allows us to get to know each central character; as there are no good guys or bad guys here, this was a pivotal part of the movie.

Eastwood also acted tremendously well here, and displays major depth in his role as an old gunslinger. Morgan Freeman was never an actor one would expect to see in a western, but he pulls it off incredibly well. Gene Hackman, as the sadistic sheriff, was also just exceptional.

Of course the movie is primarily dialogue driven so people looking for action will find precious little, unfortunately. But Unforgiven is a character western that focuses on the drama. And when we do get to some action in the last 15 minutes or so, it's gritty and brutal. Not so much the violence displayed, but the brutality of the characters.

The film contains a very simple plot, granted, but it's not what is on the surface that actually matters here. On the surface it would seem like a dull journey into the old west, but underneath there's plenty of hidden layers and meanings told with the well-developed characters and gorgeous scenery.

Overall, Unforgiven marks the only time that Hollywood actually got a western right; in a money-orientated system, this movie shows us that something truly beautiful can come out of it. It's not concerned with the action or the blood, but rather with developing the characters and showing that there's more to a western than just the action. It's not a spaghetti western and it's not the work of Sergio Leone, but it's an utterly sublime movie. Highly recommended.

"You don't hurt Arnie, you just don't."

What's Eating Gilbert Grape is an amazing movie. The performances are absolutely sublime, the script is fantastic, the score is remarkable...and the overall result is near perfect.

Gilbert Grape (Depp) lives in a small town with essentially no future. He works at the unsuccessful local grocery store, and is stuck caring for his mentally challenged brother Arnie (DiCaprio) as well as his morbidly obese mother (Cates). A small family of campers are stranded in the town, and a young teenager named Becky (Lewis) takes an interest in Gilbert.

The whole film is an emotional journey that is told exceptionally. Although the film seems to go no-where at times, each scene is carried by flawless performances from everyone.

Depp is just brilliant. He played his character extremely well, and even at a young age he can still act superbly. DiCaprio's performance (which earned an Oscar nomination) just blew me away. Because he plays a mentally challenged boy, you'd need a damn fine actor to sell this and DiCaprio did it perfectly. When I watched the movie, it honestly seemed like DiCaprio wasn't acting because he played the part so well. Juliette Lewis does a great job here as well.

The film expertly combines some compelling scenes of drama with a few good laughs and some very heart-warming moments. No matter who you are, you will be in tears by the end of it. The score accompanying the already perfect acting was just inspirational.

By putting Leonardo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp together in a movie, you are guaranteed a winner. What's Eating Gilbert Grape is unmissable, unforgettable and heart-warming. In short: if you haven't seen this movie, you MUST. Highly recommended!

"Ahhhh!" (This is said many times when someone is eatem. This is one of the limited quotes I can remember. Proves how lazy the screenwriter was)

I am completely aware that Arachnid was only made to be a fluffy entertainment piece showcasing a giant spider eating people. Despite this, I found the movie to be the furthest thing from a decent slice of entertainment.

Instead I was fed this stupid, cheesy, barely memorable poppycock that could be beaten by a student film! I can't honestly believe that this film was marketed as being an addition to the horror genre because I didn't find anything remotely scary about this horrible mess other than the terrifying thought that people actually gave money to filmmakers to get this thing made.

The story of the film is basically about a group of people who are terrorised by some giant mutated spider. Well...how impressive is that? This is a plot that has been reused for a countless number of monster movies, most of which score as much better quality than this rubbish.

One of principal things that stuck out for me here was the terrible screenplay and the bad actors involved. It's truly painful how conventional and by-the-book all the characters are. There must be a book for screenwriters to turn to for ideas on what characters to include. Spider expert who is an easy target? Check. Big-breasted girl for show? Check. Dumb characters to get knocked off first? Check. Smart character that swoops in and saves the day? Check. A few tough-looking soldiers to die in triumphant, heroic ways? Check. From the first few scenes we can comfortably predict which characters are going to die, and in which order.

The script is filled with cheesy, dull dialogue. And none of the actors appear to make an effort. The special effects were cheesy and laughable. The animation honestly looks like a group of students made a dodgy clay model. They aren't even slightly impressive. If you want the special effects to look just marginally striking then you'll need to get drunk - fast! All this film has to show for is a bit of gore and a spider killing people in predictable ways.

What I also picked up is that when the spider is shot the bullets comfortably fly off the thing's body with no effect at all. For the final showdown the hero picks up a gun and suddenly the thing is vulnerable!

In the style of Anaconda the film is nothing more than a trip into clichéd territory. I found the film so clichéd it was almost to the point of offence. It will lower your IQ because of how incredibly appalling the film is! Arachnid is a foolish, juvenile, laughable B-Grade horror movie. Despite some action, the film is also incredibly boring. I was watching it with some friends who had fallen asleep half-way through the movie. I wish I could have done the same thing. The film is not at all scary, thrilling or even entertaining. I've seen better quality movies produced on a budget of $5.

"How swift thy sword."

This reviewer has never been a fan of Asian cinema, and Hero is a film that further solidifies my neutral attitude towards film exports from Asian countries.

The film is seemingly inspired by Akira Kurosawa's Rashomon. Like Akira's film, I found Hero to suffer from the same flaws. First of all, the filmmakers poorly distinguish what is occurring on the screen. The script is filled with convoluted lines of dialogue that don't appear to advance the plot very much at all. The movie appeared to be a random selection of action scenes that don't make a lick of sense. Even when I paid 100% attention I was frustrated at the film's difficult nature. Some say it's just the nature of the Asian filmmakers. If this is the case then I'd take a Hollywood film over an Asian production any day.

The script underwent extensive rewrites over the course of several months during pre-production. Makes me wonder why the script was nothing more than cryptic dialogue that didn't make any sense at all in the long run. Maybe it will improve with repeated screenings.

Hero is also an incredibly boring film. I generally appreciate slow paced films; I just prefer them when I can understand what is going on. Perhaps it's my maturity or taste in films, but even mindless action films are easier to understand and hence better quality. All in all, with such a convoluted script this was a wasted opportunity. If the script was dropped into Hollywood's lap there would have been some discernable dialogue.

Set in ancient China, Hero tells the story of a nameless warrior (Li) who has been tracking three assassins who have threatened the life of the king on several occasions. When news reaches the palace that the warrior has defeated all the assassins he is summoned before the king to tell his tale. This plot comes from reading the back cover because I didn't pick up any plot at all.

If a character is telling his story why can't there be more narration to remind the audience what is happening? I was none the wiser until I read the back cover of the DVD I rented. You know there's a problem when absolutely no lines of dialogue make sense, even during action scenes.

Fortunately the film's limited list of redeeming features includes the action scenes. Now these were dazzling and a real visual feast. But they weren't without issues: slow motion does not look cool in my eyes. At all! It looks contrived and distracting. With the film stocking a good supply of slow motion shots I was not happy. Still, the moves are very impressive at times. Another thing about the action scenes: some of the moves are just far too over-the-top. Fighting while hovering over water? Maybe enthusiasts of Asian cinema will find something that makes sense during those scenes. Some of the action is obvious wire-work and it's infinitely distracting!

The cinematography, locations, production design, props and costumes all look gorgeous. For the most part I was impressed with the visuals as the film is overflowing with colourful imagery.

Hero is a typical piece of fluffy cinema courtesy of Asian filmmakers. If you like the works of Akira Kurosawa or films like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon then I'm sure you'll be enthralled. Hero is strictly for those who are fans of the genre. The film is convoluted, confusing, poorly written but executed impressively. I can't stress that enough.

Granted the Australians haven't had the best luck in creating successful television programmes, but the Chaser boys changed all that. The first time I saw this show I became addicted.

Why is The Chaser's War on Everything the greatest TV programme to be created by the Australians? Just watch one episode and you will find out why. The boys have skilfully created a bunch of hilarious segments that give them the opportunity to make jackasses out of themselves (on that note this show is a bit like Jackass...except Chaser is actually good).

Believe it or not, the Chaser team are a group of Aussie blokes who met in law school. They would need a damn good bunch of lawyers on their side because of how funny that are capable of being. That Apec stunt is a good example of the authorities strongly disagreeing with their actions. "You're not funny" says a policeman during an interview. All I can say is...the bloke is only saying that because he's the one who got in deep shit for being incompetent. Heh, maybe it will teach you to actually have a good team of security guards next time. Sheesh!

Of course the Chaser team have their fair share of scandals. The "dead person song" in particular caused a negative ruckus. For me, I didn't find it insensitive. The boys just had a little bit of fun. They're not hurting anyone, are they? People should just grow up and appreciate a bit of entertainment.

The Chaser boys originally had their own newspaper column (they still do) but they were eventually given the oppportunity to give TV a shot. Australian television has become better with the Chaser filling up a suitable time slot. As a result the show is so popular that tickets are sold astronomically quickly for being a member of the audience.

In a nutshell: The Chaser's War on Everything is the greatest Australian television programme of all time. It's funny, witty and entertaining! When you get the chance you must watch an episode. You will not regret it!