Reviews by PvtCaboose91

"I'm the one who's going to make your life real difficult if you don't tow the line, country boy."

Screenwriter Nick Cave and director John Hillcoat collaborated for the exceptional Aussie western The Proposition back in 2005, and Lawless reunites these two boundlessly talented professionals for another historical drama drenched in violence. Similar to The Proposition in terms of tone and brutality, Lawless is an adaptation of Matt Bondurant's historical novel about the illegal bootlegging activities carried out by Bondurant's grandfather and granduncles in Franklin County during the Great Depression. Bondurant's novel was entitled The Wettest County in the World, referring to Franklin County's Prohibition-era nickname which was given due to the substantial amount of illegal alcohol production that occurred despite the Volstead Act.

With Prohibition and the Depression in full swing, residents of Franklin County, Virginia turn to bootlegging to make a living. The Bondurant brothers - Forrest (Tom Hardy), Howard (Jason Clarke) and Jack (Shia LeBeouf) - maintain their own bootlegging business, using their clandestine backyard distilleries to pump out moonshine for the thirsty locals. The boys have no problem with law enforcement, as they provide samples of their product to the police to persuade them to look the other way. But the law begins to close in on the Bondurant brothers following the arrival of Special Agent Charlie Rakes (Guy Pearce), who demands a cut of the profits. The siblings of course refuse, and thus begins an all-out war, with brutal acts of violence being carried out on both sides.

Lawless is a slow-burning tale of intrigue which takes its time developing its characters and story, demonstrating more concern with dramatic growth than mindless action. But, as with The Proposition and The Road, Hillcoat does not baulk from showing violence - Lawless contains shootouts, a number of brutal beatings and even a throat slitting, all of which were executed with impressive skill and command. However, Hillcoat skilfully prevents the picture from falling into exploitation territory, as the violence is used to allow viewers to comprehend the gravity of various situations and the ferocity of the period. Not to mention, the unsettling action beats are shown to have dire consequences; the resulting injuries are ugly, and even the victors find themselves unfulfilled by the violence. What's also interesting about Lawless is that you find yourself rooting for the Bondurant brothers despite their criminal status, but only because Rakes and his posse are so repulsive. The film doesn't glamorise the Bondurants and you never find yourself wanting to be in their position, but they are an endearing trio of antiheroes.

Period films oftentimes feel like stagey re-enactments on obvious sets, but Hillcoat's recreation of this era feels real. Although Hillcoat did not have a substantial budget at his disposal, Lawless is a visually dazzling motion picture bursting with authenticity. Hillcoat's approach lacks the gloss and showiness associated with Hollywood, and this is to the flick's benefit. Lawless conjures up a tremendous sense of legitimacy that's commendably unobtrusive, and the sets and locations at no point seem manufactured - it looks like Hillcoat took a bunch of cameras back in time to the 1920s to make the film. Shooting on location in Georgia, Hillcoat and director of photography Benoît Delhomme went for a warm, naturalistic colour palette, conveying this little-known tale through breathtaking widescreen images. Added to this, screenwriter Nick Cave provided the score, and his music is every bit as brilliant as his writing; adding atmosphere and identity to this beautifully-executed film. Lawless is admittedly slow-moving, however. It's never exactly boring, but it does feel long in the tooth and at times narratively unfocused - it's in the region between The Proposition's enthralling brilliance and The Road's utter tediousness.

Shia LaBeouf, it seems, is finally growing up. The young star is grating in the Transformers series and clearly has an enormous ego, yet Lawless presented Shia with the opportunity to show signs of maturity, and he ran with it. His performance here is understated but focused, portraying the naïve Jack Bondurant with impeccable conviction. Likewise, Tom Hardy is outstanding as the stoic Forrest Bondurant, espousing a believable period voice to match his spot-on appearance. Hardy's work is riveting; far superior to his performance in Christopher Nolan's studiously mediocre The Dark Knight Rises. Meanwhile, Guy Pearce is a genuine scene-stealer as Special Agent Rakes, cutting loose in this over-the-top performance that's strikingly committed. Pearce is in the upper echelon of cinematic antagonists here - he's so excellent that you may need to literally restrain yourself lest you try to jump through the screen to kill Rakes yourself. In a smaller but equally important role is Jason Clarke as Howard Bondurant. Though Clarke is not in the spotlight as much as his co-stars, he makes a huge impression. Another big-name actor here is Gary Oldman, who relishes every frame of his limited screen-time as irascible gangster Floyd Banner. Chronicle's Dane DeHaan also has a role here as Cricket, and he's fantastic; believably bringing this innocent and naïve character to life. Rounding out the key players is bright Australian actress Mia Wasikowska, who brings a sweet, delicate touch to the role of Bertha.

Lawless is a tough sell for the average movie-goer. It's a great movie, yet it's not life-changing or moving enough for Oscar consideration, nor is it action-packed or entertaining enough to vie for summer box office dollars. Let's just be thankful that, at the end of a summer beset with loud blockbusters, we got this well-made period movie which treats its audience with respect. Even in spite of the hit-and-miss The Road, it's clear that John Hillcoat is a talent with a huge career ahead of him.

8.2/10

"I'm not crazy! I almost died!"

Paranormal Activity 4 is by far the most rote instalment in the Paranormal Activity franchise thus far. By this point in the series, the found footage conceit is already difficult enough to swallow, but the biggest sin perpetuated by the flick is that it wastes the opportunity to start providing answers. As a matter of fact, it raises more questions than it answers. It's interesting to watch Paranormal Activity 4 to see where Katie and Hunter end up, but the filmmakers fail to do anything worthwhile with the idea, instead wasting time on an illogical story and focusing solely on the franchise's meat and potato elements. By this point in the series, we need loose ends to be tied up and for niggling questions to be addressed, but returning directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, as well as veteran screenwriter Christopher Landon, seem to want to drag their feet for as long as possible, clearly running out of inspiration and motivation as they milk the franchise for everything it's worth. To the credit of Joost and Schulman, there are a few well-implemented moments of horror to be found here, but nothing in the film is as effective as the best moments in the 2007 original.

Set in November 2011, five years after the events of the first film, the story picks up in Henderson, Nevada, where 15-year-old Alex (Newton) maintains a regular suburban life with her family. Just across the street lives a mysterious young boy named Robbie (Brady Allen), who intrigues Alex and her sort-of boyfriend Ben (Shively). When Robbie's mother is rushed away to hospital, Alex's parents Doug (Dunham) and Holly (Lee) agree to take care of Robbie for a few days, believing he'll make fast friends with their young son Wyatt (Lovekamp). But not long after Robbie's arrival, strange and inexplicable things begin to occur, prompting Alex to set up recording devices around her house to provide 24-hour surveillance. As the hauntings escalate, Alex finds herself trying to convince her mum and dad that something wicked is going on.

It is impossible to properly assess the narrative of Paranormal Activity 4 without delving into what some may consider to be spoiler territory. You have been warned.

A big issue with Paranormal Activity 4 is that, from a narrative standpoint, it fundamentally makes no sense. Since the first film, Katie's fate has been a huge question mark which wasn't addressed in the second or third film. 4 sets out to show what happened to Katie after kidnapping Hunter, but the execution is idiotic. See, as it turns out, Alex's adopted brother Wyatt is actually the kidnapped infant Hunter, and Robbie's "mother" Katie (Featherston) - who moves into the house across the street from Alex - ostensibly wants to retrieve him throughout the film. But how does Hunter, despite being a kidnapped child, end up being legally adopted? Why would Katie let this happen if she wants him back in the first place? How does Katie manage to find a house right across the street from Hunter? How can Katie so openly navigate around the country despite being a wanted fugitive? What is Robbie's purpose, and who is he? The whole set-up is appallingly mapped out and riddled with holes. Maybe the demon wanted an innocent Hunter at a later age and thus let him be adopted by another family, but why, then, did he choose to kill Hunter's birth-parents in the first place? One assumes that some of this stuff may be addressed in future sequels, but I wouldn't get your hopes up - we still have questions from the first film that were never addressed.

It doesn't help that Alex's parents are some of the daftest idiots to grace the big screen in 2012. No matter what Alex tells her mum and dad, they pay no attention to her, or take any action. Doug is the biggest idiot, because he experiences the unexplainable supernatural occurrences first-hand but does nothing about it, and doesn't even tell his wife. Later in the movie, Alex records the unmistakable sight of an unseen force tormenting her, while at the same time her cameras around the house capture someone wandering around. But while Alex has memory cards and hard-drives to prove that a demonic force is present, she apparently doesn't bother to show her parents the footage, and they seem unusually cool about the whole incident. Furthermore, it makes no sense for Robbie to come stay with a family of complete strangers while his mother is in hospital. It doesn't add up.

With a more modern setting, directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman (Catfish) had a larger array of sources to tell this story through documentary-style footage. The characters here employ laptop webcams, video chats, cell phones and more traditional video cameras, following the formula set by its predecessors but giving it an intriguing modern twist. But Paranormal Activity 4 lacks good scary moments, as it mostly relies on cheap jump-scares which will not get under anyone's skin. The spine-chilling final few minutes are admittedly spectacular, but everything else - a chandelier or a knife falling, and characters playing pranks to scare each other - are predictable and silly. And, disappointingly, there is no intoxicating feeling of pure dread permeating the proceedings.

One thing which does work in Paranormal Activity 4 is new leading actor Kathryn Newton. The 15-year-old actress is incredibly cute, and she's such a natural presence on-screen. Newton's performance seems so effortless and lived-in, with her warm, vivacious demeanour making her a believable and ideal protagonist. Also solid is Matt Shively as Alex's boy interest, Ben. Playing a smarmy teen, Shively is a hilarious scene stealer, giving this reviewer a character to actually latch onto. The younger children are equally impressive, with a skin-crawling Brady Allen as Robbie, and Aiden Lovekamp who excellently handles the multiple layers of Wyatt's character.

Paranormal Activity 4's storyline fails to progress the overall mythology of the series in any way. Hell, the entire movie could have been condensed into a 10-minute prologue for a proper sequel. Clearly, the studio heads want to keep milking this thing, but this series seriously needs to stop beating around the bush. The Paranormal Activity franchise should have remained a trilogy in this reviewer's humble opinion. The first two were solid companion pieces, with the second film justifying itself as more than just a cash-grab. The trilogy would have been perfect if only the third film shed further light on Katie's troubled family history. But with this fourth film done and a fifth on the way, we're firmly into franchise milking territory, with the makers wasting as many films as possible to generate maximum profits.

4.8/10

"They cry, they plead, they beg, they piss themselves, they cry for their mothers. It gets embarrassing. I like to kill 'em softly. From a distance."

Director Andrew Dominik's third feature film after Chopper and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, 2012's Killing Them Softly is a brutal tale of mob politics based on George V. Higgins' 1974 novel Cogan's Trade. On top of being a gritty gangster picture, the film provides a thoughtful commentary on America's current political and economical climate. Indeed, Dominik highlights that the mob and the government are in fact very similar, though neither party is prepared to admit it. For those unwilling to pay full attention and engage their brain, Killing Them Softly may be ultimately unsatisfying, as it asks more of you than a routine shoot-'em-up. While the film is maddening from time to time, it does contain a number of inspired moments, and it's rich with atmosphere and nuance.

With the 2008 presidential election looming, a low-level gangster named Johnny Amato (Curatola) hires a pair of grungy hoods (McNairy and Mendelsohn) to rob a mob card game. The organiser of the card game, Markie (Liotta), has been known for robbing his own game in the past, and thus the robbers believe that the "street" will just assume that Markie is to blame yet again. After the heist, an unnamed mafia middleman (Jenkins) brings in an enforcer named Jackie Cogan (Pitt) to sort out the situation. Cogan's task is to seek reparations for the stolen money, and kill anyone necessary in the process.

Killing Them Softly clocks in at a refreshingly brisk 95 minutes, though Dominik's first cut reportedly ran a more sizeable two-and-a-half hours. As a result, the picture does feel unusually streamlined, and the dialogue is perhaps a tad too terse, rendering the narrative somewhat difficult to follow. With a few key events actually happening off-screen, Killing Them Softly demands your fullest attention lest you get hopelessly lost.

Interestingly, one of the primary concerns of Dominik's screenplay is social commentary. At several points throughout the film, characters literally stop what they're doing to listen to speeches delivered by either Obama or McCain as they lament the dire state of the American economy. Dominik draws parallels between mobsters and politicians, as both types of individuals only really care about themselves, and are driven by the relentless pursuit of money. The very final line of dialogue delivered by Pitt solidifies this underlying theme in a very thought-provoking manner. Fortunately, Dominik supplemented the biting political satire with dark humour; Killing Them Softly is littered with amusing banter, as well as a memorably terrific instance of slapstick. Dominik is so often recognised for his distinctive cinematic style (and rightfully so), but his talent for colourful dialogue deserves acknowledgement as well.

From a technical standpoint, Andrew Dominik's efforts are immaculate here. The picture exudes a marvellous sense of visual command, and it's slick and stylised whilst still feeling somewhat raw. The moments of violence are especially impressive thanks to Greig Fraser's cinematography and the extraordinary sound design. The heist sequence is nail-bitingly tense, and every time a punch is landed or a gun is discharged, we experience it in a visceral fashion. The death of one character is especially remarkable; it unfolds in ultra slow-motion, letting us absorb the visual symphony of bullets, broken glass, falling rain, and blood. It's a true spectacle of brutality, perhaps one of the most memorable instances of cinematic bloodshed in 2012. Another excellent touch is the music. Killing Them Softly is not suffused with an original score; instead, Dominik mostly relied on an array of songs which add a great atmosphere to the picture. The most notable song choice is Johnny Cash's The Man Comes Around; the lyrics have strong parallels to the Jackie Cogan character, and the melodies are haunting.

The cast is solid from top to bottom, but it's Brad Pitt who deserves the most credit. As Cogan, the actor is spot-on, playing an interesting and complex anti-hero which is far removed from the type of performance we often see from him. Meanwhile, Richard Jenkins is predictably excellent here. Jenkins is suitably understated and low-key, yet always believable and riveting. Equally terrific is James Gandolfini as Mickey, one of Cogan's acquaintances. Rounding out the key players is Ben Mendelsohn (Animal Kingdom) who's skin-crawlingly creepy as a low-level hood, and Ray Liotta who is surprisingly multifaceted as gangster Markie.

It's somewhat of a challenge to review Andrew Dominik's Killing Them Softly, as my thoughts on the film were actually changing throughout the writing process. Immediately after viewing the film I was left somewhat unfulfilled, but the more I contemplate it, the more I appreciate it. Ultimately, this is a solid motion picture, a stylised gangster flick with a relevant message that demands multiple viewings.

7.7/10

"We are among you!"

2012's The Watch is a wasted opportunity, plain and simple. With a majestic cast like this, the film seems like a can't-miss prospect, but instead you'll spend the entire picture waiting for it to take off and cut loose in uproarious ways...only to realise that the moment will never arrive. The Watch is completely middle-of-the-road and unremarkable from start to finish, rendering it boring and underwhelming. It's seriously deflating to see The Watch unfold on-screen, spotlighting a cavalcade of talented people all performing with humiliating desperation. The stars here all want to make you laugh, yet it would seem that they have forgotten about how exactly to achieve this end.

In a small Ohio town, Evan Trautwig (Stiller) is a model citizen who manages the local Costco and coordinates local activities. Following the vicious death of a Costco security guard one night, Evan believes a killer is on the loose, and decides to start a neighbourhood watch group. The idea barely catches on, however - it only attracts loudmouth married man Bob (Vaughn), lonely wannabe cop Franklin (Hill) and Brit outsider Jamarcus (Ayoade). Initially, Bob, Franklin and Jamarcus refuse to take the group seriously, using their get-togethers as an excuse to drink beer and have fun while Evan struggles to whip his volunteers into shape. It isn't long before the foursome discover that an alien invasion is unfolding in their own backyard, with extraterrestrials having ingratiated themselves into everyday society as they plot the destruction of humankind.

This premise should have yielded a fun Ghostbusters-style sci-fi comedy, but the film never shifts out of the first gear. Oddly, the comic timing and delivery is way off, and the picture often goes for cheap laughs and crude humour rather than coherent storytelling or anything approaching wit. The script (credited to Jared Stern, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg) is stuffed with obvious red herrings, clichéd personal problems and underdeveloped characters (Franklin and Jamarcus are particularly short-changed). Added to this, The Watch feels like it was made up on the spot, with the gifted actors frantically mugging for laughs and dropping tonnes of vulgarities in an attempt to overshadow the lack of hearty belly-laughs. Topping this off is eye-rolling product placement for Costco and 3-D.

The Watch is the second directorial undertaking for Saturday Night Live veteran Akiva Schaffer, who previously directed the uneven but sporadically amusing Hot Rod. To his credit, Schaffer's mise-en-scène is smooth and the technical specs are competent, but the whole film feels incredibly flat due to the lack of worthwhile humour. This is not to say the film is completely bereft of amusing moments since there are a few good laughs here and there, but a typical evening YouTube surf would yield more entertainment. And YouTube is free. We deserve a lot more from a major motion picture which cost tens of millions of dollars to produce, and which you'll have to pay $10 to see. It's great that Fox permitted The Watch to be R-rated, but it seems as if the filmmakers used the rating as an excuse to be lazy. Several PG comedies have been far cleverer than this.

Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade are somewhat of a comic dream team, so it's a shame that The Watch pretty much squanders the talents of all four performers. A line-up like this deserves a far better, wittier script to match their skills. Stiller is especially dreadful here; he just relied on his trademark neurotic screen persona. Meanwhile, Ayoade is a total missed opportunity. The spirited British comedian is a hoot in The IT Crowd and Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, and he genuinely deserves a successful film career. The Watch wastes him completely, relegating the talent to a bland background role with no memorable laugh lines or, indeed, any chances for him to show what an amazing comedic talent he is. This is all the more deflating considering that most Americans have never even heard of Ayoade, and The Watch is a slipshod way to introduce him. The film's only real acting bright spot is Will Forte as a local cop always giving the boys a hard time. Everything Forte does - every line and facial expression - is roll-on-the-ground hilarious, and the actor infuses the film with an irresistible spark of comic energy. Unfortunately, he's not present in any great capacity, and his efforts here only remind us how much we need a sequel to the underrated MacGruber.

Taken as fluffy entertainment on a rainy afternoon when you have nothing better to do, The Watch may be somewhat satisfying. It's never excruciatingly awful or unwatchable; it's just painfully mediocre.

5.1/10

"Time travel has not yet been invented. But thirty years from now, it will have been."

Following in the footsteps of Source Code and The Adjustment Bureau, 2012's Looper is a science fiction film with welcome intelligence and originality, more concerned with conceptual innovation and clean storytelling than CGI or action overload. With Rian Johnson (Brick) behind the film, this is exactly the type of sci-fi production we always hope for, but have learned to stop expecting after so many years of soulless sci-fi drivel. In short, Looper is a masterpiece; a popcorn film with brains, an indie sensibility, a top-tier cast, and some great action set-pieces. Released in the same year that begat the abominable Total Recall remake, this powerfully brilliant production is a goddamn miracle.

In the year 2074, time travel is possible but illegal. It is only used in secret by high-powered criminal organisations looking to dispose of corpses by sending them back to the year 2044. Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) works as a "Looper," a criminal assassin paid to eliminate the targets who are sent back in time to be disposed of. For his latest job, though, Joe finds that his target is his older self. As it turns out, in the future a crime boss known as The Rainmaker is killing all the Loopers. Old Joe (Bruce Willis) evades assassination and goes on the run while Young Joe sets out to finish his mission while being hunted by his colleagues. The Joe of the future has one thing on his mind: finding and killing the man who will go on to become The Rainmaker and be responsible for the death of his beloved wife. Finding out that one of the possibilities on Joe's hit-list is a young boy on a remote farm, young Joe heads to the house hoping to find and confront his older self. However, he ends up befriending farm owner Sara (Emily Blunt) and her son Cid (Pierce Gagnon).

Perhaps the most masterful thing about Rian Johnson's screenplay is that it's genuinely difficult to determine who's doing the right thing. Thanks to well-judged character development, we feel Old Joe's pain over the death of his wife, and we completely understand his desire to prevent her death by eliminating The Rainmaker...even though the future mob boss is still a child in 2044. Likewise, Young Joe's need to finish his mission is understandable, and, due to his growing bond with Sara and Cid, it's easy to understand his want to protect the mother and her son. Johnson is a terrific storyteller, peeling back the narrative in a nonchalant yet sophisticated fashion. In order to keep us up to speed with the ins and outs of this peculiar future world, Joe delivers occasional voiceovers. Narration is often a lazy device employed to disguise an inherently weak screenplay, but Johnson uses Joe's voiceovers smartly and efficiently, tersely keeping us informed without grinding the pace to a halt. However, once the film shifts to Sara's farm, Looper does hit a few sluggish patches. The picture is never necessarily boring, but it could have been tighter. Frankly, this is the only criticism I have with Looper.

Johnson was working on a scant $30 million budget, which forbade him from creating a garish, CGI-laden future world like Minority Report or The Fifth Element. And this is actually for the best - Johnson instead provides a scarily plausible vision of the future that's distinctive but not over-the-top. Techno advances are used sparingly, and the futuristic production design and fashion is unobtrusive, yet you won't mistake this for a film set in 2012. Sure, cool hover bikes exist, but only the rich can afford them; everyone else tools around in old-fashioned cars. This is a bleak future America suffering from economic and sociopolitical woes, where homeless litter the streets and police officers are few and far between. There are digital effects in Looper, though, and they look extraordinary, bestowing the film with an polished look which belies its low budget. Johnson's directing is extremely stylish and grounded throughout, yet he doesn't embrace the joyless "gritty and dark" approach which has become so widespread in this day and age. His handling of the action scenes is excellent, as well. The action comes in short bursts and each scene is thrilling, earning the film its R-rating. Also strong is Nathan Johnson's score, a mix of exciting and haunting music which amplifies the film's sense of atmosphere.

Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are both spot-on in the role of Joe, doing a remarkable job of inhabiting the character at different periods in his life. Gordon-Levitt has done a marvellous job of replicating Willis' mannerisms while also delivering an engaging performance. Willis has more of a supporting role, but he absolutely shines. The actor has been stuck in meaningless pay-cheque roles for over a decade, only very rarely showing his true acting chops. Willis cut loose in The Expendables and its sequel, but Looper displays Willis as the serious, Oscar-worthy thespian for the first time since The Sixth Sense, blending toughness and tenderness in a remarkable fashion. The biggest stand-out, though, is Pierce Gagnon as Cid. Gagnon is still a child, yet the command of the character exhibited by this tiny performer is terrifying. Meanwhile, Jeff Daniels is wonderfully sinister and colourful as Joe's gruff boss, making you hope that this will be a career resurgence for him, and Paul Dano and Garret Dillahunt show up in small but memorable roles as a couple of Joe's co-workers.

There's a lot happening throughout Looper's narrative, and the script was in danger of collapsing under the weight of all the twists and complications, but Johnson has concocted an ending you won't see coming that wraps everything up in a proper fashion. Science enthusiasts will probably want to argue the logic of the film's time travelling mechanics, but that's about as useful as debating unicorn lore. Time travelling is fantasy so all that matters is internal consistency, and Looper never breaks its own rules. There's little left to say about this movie except that you should stop reading this and go watch it. Pronto.

9.2/10

"Listen to me carefully, Kim. Your mother; is going to be taken. And people are gonna come for you to."

A relatively low-budget action movie which became an unexpected box office smash, the original Taken was a total gas - a lean blast of adrenaline puppeteered by a director who understands the art of creating skilful cinematic junk food. The same compliments cannot be applied to this inevitable follow-up, however. Taken 2 is an oddly lethargic sequel; a poorly crafted action movie which lacks the spark of viciousness and the jittery sense of momentum which fuelled its predecessor. It's not a complete bust, but the picture is underwhelming as a whole.

Picking up not long after the events of its predecessor, Taken 2 finds Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson), his daughter Kim (Maggie Grace), and ex-wife Lenore (Famke Janssen) trying to move on with their lives. Bryan's relationship with Kim is strengthening, and he is finally beginning to mend his broken relationship with Lenore, whose current marriage is falling apart. When Lenore and Kim's plans to travel to China fall through, they join Bryan in Istanbul. Unfortunately, their vacation is soon interrupted by a group of bloodthirsty Albanians out to make Bryan pay for the corpses that he left in his wake whilst out to retrieve his daughter.

Taken wasn't rocket science. It was an unoriginal idea executed with tremendous zeal by director Pierre Morel, who kept the pace taut as Neeson rampaged through Paris. Taken 2, on the other hand, is not as skilful. Screenwriters Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen cooked up a pretty stale story here, and coloured it in with dramatic malarkey that's delivered without sufficient briskness. By the time we get to the action, we're already about a third of the way through, and we aren't any closer to seeing these characters as three-dimensional people. Taken took its time before diving into the action as well, but its drama was more effective. Here, it's boring and, more importantly, it feels forced. Furthermore, Taken 2 commits a cardinal sin by locking Bryan up for the majority of the second act while Kim gallivants around Istanbul, with Bryan providing phone support for his daughter as she endeavours to rescue her parents. Pinning down Neeson for an unreasonable amount of screen-time is insulting, guaranteed to leave movie-goers feeling utterly cheated. The scope of the film also feels limited due to its awkward structuring.

This is probably a given due to its action movie pedigree, but Taken 2's characters are often dumb and confused. The script attempts to introduce an interesting angle by rationalising the Albanian perspective before Bryan points out that the men he killed were scumbags who destroyed the lives of young girls, but it never leads to anything interesting or substantive. And since the Albanians are so keen to hurt Bryan, why don't they just shoot Lenore? It would give Bryan a taste of what it's like to lose a loved one, and, even if Bryan does escape, it'd still mean that the Albanians win. Instead, they put Lenore into a position that gives her half an hour to live. Rather than hanging around to watch Bryan seeing his ex-wife die, everyone leaves the room, basically asking for the resourceful former government agent to escape. Ludicrous moments like these absolutely riddle the screenplay, extending to an unintentionally hilarious moment in which Bryan gives Lenore ridiculously convoluted directions ("Walk to the back of the store, turn left, at the end of the alley turn right, walk up the stairs, then turn left, and go right again...").

Try as he might, Olivier Megaton (Transporter 3, Colombiana) is not cut out for directing action. The hand-to-hand combat was frequently exhilarating in the original movie under the command of Morel, but Megaton's fisticuffs are repetitive and monotonous here, not to mention shot too wildly and edited too frantically. The shootouts, meanwhile, are often marred by the baffling decision to go PG-13. Luc Besson has a reputation for creating R-rated action films that are trimmed to get a PG-13 in America but are released uncut in the rest of the world. For Taken 2, however, there is no full-blooded uncut version - the whole thing is bloodless and gutless, which detracts a visceral punch required for memorable kills (a moment when Bryan fires an entire AK-47 clip into a henchman's stomach at point-blank range is gutted by the lack of blood). A few set-pieces here and there scrape a pass, but for the most part its hard to overlook the hyperactive editing clearly employed to disguise Megaton's incompetence with gunplay and chases, reducing the action scenes to a frantic blur of close-ups and booming sound effects. Megaton has admitted that he isn't even a fan of action films even though he keeps directing them, making him an awful decision to helm this sequel.

Unsurprisingly, Liam Neeson is the best thing in the film. Neeson is a rare type of action star who can handle physically demanding scenes on top of being a genuinely good, charismatic performer. He's a good anchor amid the chaos, giving us someone we can easily root for. On the other hand, Famke Janssen clearly phoned in her performance as Lenore here, and Maggie Grace is strictly ordinary. It's pleasant to see these characters again (especially Bryan's former work buddies), but it's unfortunate that they're treated so disappointingly.

Taken has developed into a modern action classic, but Taken 2 is a slipshod attempt to capitalise on the film's popularity. The basic premise is fine, but the execution is lacking. Rather than having Bryan locked up for half the movie, it would have been interesting if the Albanians killed Lenore or Kim, or captured them both while Bryan eluded them, and spent a solid hour rampaging through the streets of Istanbul. It'd be lazy rehashing, to be sure, but it would have at least been more fun. What we have instead is a sluggishly constructed, unexpectedly small-scale actioner, even though it was produced for double the budget of the original film.

4.9/10

"History prefers legends to men. It prefers nobility to brutality, soaring speeches to quiet deeds. History remembers the battle, but forgets the blood. However history remembers me before I was a President, it shall only remember a fraction of the truth..."

Nobody should prepare to view 2012's Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter under the delusion that a profound history lesson is in store for them. After all, merely reading the title is enough to spark ridicule and disbelief that people actually funded this thing. As it turns out, however, this is not the goofy, B-grade action fiesta that one would expect; writer Seth Grahame-Smith (adapting his own novel) and director Timur Bekmambetov have in fact created a predominantly straight-faced feature, aspiring to create an epic tale of revisionism as opposed to a more disposable straight-to-video offering. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter definitely has its strengths, but it's brought down by slipshod storytelling and the pedestrian nature of most of the action scenes, rendering the film an experimental curio which falls short of its potential.

As a child, Abraham Lincoln (played in adulthood by Walker) lost his mother when malicious vampire Jack Barts (Csokas) drained the life out of her. Years on, Lincoln has grown into a young man with revenge on his mind. Assisted in his vendetta by veteran vampire hunter Henry Sturges (Cooper), Lincoln begins learning the ropes of killing the undead, and vows to terminate the population of bloodsuckers who exist undetected among the living. Settling in Springfield, Lincoln works as a shopkeeper's assistant by day and vampire killer by night, driven by the thought of one day getting the opportunity to take out Jack Barts. Lincoln's life in Springfield leads him to meet and fall in love with Mary Todd (Winstead) before moving to Washington, D.C., where he enters politics and works his way up to becoming the 16th President of the United States. But his vampire hunting days are not quite behind Lincoln yet, as vampire boss Adam (Sewell) begins backing the South with bloodsuckers to help the Civil War effort and overthrow the President.

Grahame-Smith's script sticks closer to the historical record than expected, cleverly reworking key events in Lincoln's life as well as broader historical moments to suit the vampire-hunting conceit. For probably half of its 100-minute runtime, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter actually works, as it shows a surprisingly keen interest in character development intermingled with (mostly) satisfying action set-pieces. As time goes by, however, the quality of everything rapidly declines, most notably the storytelling. Mary Todd calling off her engagement to Stephen A. Douglas (Tudyk) happens without the audience, and Lincoln and Mary advance from young lovers to greying middle-aged married couple in the space of a single scene. Not much vampire business happens once Lincoln becomes President, making his presidency seem like somewhat of an afterthought. As a result, a lot of potential goes unrealised.

At the very least, it's fantastic to see vampires with actual bite here. Due to the godawful Twilight saga, vampires have become reduced to lovelorn, emo metrosexuals, but Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter features frightening vampires who kill without compunction. In the early stages of the film, the vampires are genuinely creepy, giving the picture an effective spark of horror. But alas, it's not long before Timur Bekmambetov gives over to dumb, cartoonish, CGI-heavy action. At times the action scenes are exhilarating, but after a while the repetitive slo-mo routine grows wearisome. On top of this, a few set-pieces are utterly incoherent (I can't make heads or tails of the sequence when Abraham and his friends leave a vampire-filled mansion in a horse carriage). Perhaps the biggest issue with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is that it's a confused mixture of B-grade absurdity and serious drama. It needed to settle on a consistent tone.

At the very least, Benjamin Walker is an ideal protagonist and a solid choice for Abraham Lincoln. Walker managed to nail Lincoln's gaunt, awkward demeanour as well as his charming earnestness. It's a huge benefit to have such an engaging actor to latch onto amid the troublesome storytelling. Dominic Cooper is equally good as Abe's mentor Henry. Meanwhile, Mary Elizabeth Winstead (a strangely beautiful choice for the role of Mary Todd Lincoln considering how unattractive the real woman was) is serviceable if unremarkable, and Rufus Sewell clearly relished the chance to play the vampiric antagonist Adam.

In post-production, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was subjected to a 3-D conversion. It may make sense for this to be in 3-D due to its reliance on flashy CGI, but the image is dark and drab from behind the glasses, not to mention the 3-D effects aren't especially effective. All things considered, it's disappointing how underwhelming Vampire Hunter is. It had all the right ingredients - a great action director at the helm, Tim Burton as producer, and an R-rating - but the final product fails to take advantage of the limitless potential. It's worth seeing, but temper your expectations.

5.9/10

"My name is Alice, and this is my world."

Astonishingly, Resident Evil: Retribution shows a great deal of promise in its opening 15 minutes. After an action scene breathtakingly unfolds backwards in slow motion, writer-director Paul W.S. Anderson sets time aside to recap everything that's happened in the Resident Evil franchise so far, which miraculously allows the idiotic prior instalments to actually make sense. Better, a sequence set in suburbia has the tone of horror and tension that the Resident Evil films should've been about since the beginning. Alas, this is all just a tease. What follows is an exceedingly dumb 3-D fireworks display, with Anderson leaning on exactly the type of tired tropes which have kept this franchise in the doldrums since its inception. It certainly delivers a lot of stylised action which may satisfy the unfussy, but most everything else is dreadful.

Captured by the Umbrella Corporation, Alice (Milla Jovovich) finds herself imprisoned in an elaborate testing facility beneath the ice in Russia, with her now-brainwashed friend Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory) torturing her for information. When a system reload gives Alice the chance to escape from her cell, she's approached by mortal enemy Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts) and former Umbrella agent Ada Wong (Bingbing Li), who outline a way for Alice to get out of the underwater complex. With a strike team having descended upon the site to rescue them, Alice and Ada begin navigating the various simulated environments, battling hordes of zombies and machines along the way.

In one of the areas of the facility, Alice meets the hearing-impaired Becky (Aryana Engineer), a synthetic clone who believes Alice is her mother due to one of Umbrella's simulations. The introduction of a child admittedly introduces something new, but the rest of Retribution is pure regression. It's more or less a structural remake of the original 2002 film, with Alice fighting her way through an elaborate underground complex ruled by The Red Queen. The proverbial video game comparison is overused by critics, yet Retribution literally does feel like a video game. The broad strokes of its conceptual framework are fine, but the filling is pure video game formula. Every opportunity (no matter how minor) for an action scene is whole-heartedly embraced and over-played, resulting in mindless slo-mo carnage. It's a fast-paced movie, to be sure, but the formula grows weary as time goes by, and the mayhem grows tediously repetitive.

Admittedly, the picture benefits from fine technical specs. Cinematography is often impressively colourful and polished, while the 3-D presentation is surprisingly strong. Anderson has stated that he will never make a movie in 2-D again, so it's fortunate that the filmmaker is adept at three-dimensional effects. It doesn't necessarily add much to the experience, but it does amplify the fun factor of the action sequences. Furthermore, Tomandandy's score is exceedingly cool. Indeed, as B-grade fun, Retribution scrapes a mild pass due to its fast pace. Nevertheless, it seems that Anderson absolutely hates screenwriting, channelling very little effort into creating a frame on which to hang the dull-as-dishwasher characters and action sequences in familiar locations.

Resident Evil: Retribution is a powerfully dumb movie, littered with baffling character motivation and stupid moments. At about the halfway mark, for instance, we are introduced to a huge bulking beast which destroys and kills everything in its path. Later, said beast viciously attacks numerous characters before snatching Becky and carefully carrying her back to its hive. It was included for the sake of an Aliens moment, but makes no sense in context. By the same token, the zombies alternate between mindless marauders and moderately civilised soldiers who can fire weapons and drive jeeps. Furthermore, as the climax approaches, Jill holds Ada hostage with the intention of capturing Alice and co. But although Jill has the heroes at gunpoint and can easily capture them, she decides to release Ada, drop her gun and engage everyone in hand-to-hand combat. Seriously?! Plus, Jill has a mechanism on her chest which lets the Red Queen control her. After a 5-minute battle, Alice finally thinks to remove it. Why didn't Alice do this earlier? Retribution is an insult to anyone with an active brain, and it's impossible to overlook this malarkey no matter how intense the mayhem is.

A handful of mercenaries are introduced not long into the picture, but they are not bestowed with any semblance of depth. It would be foolhardy to expect fleshed-out characters, sure, but we don't even learn their names - they're just interchangeable guys carrying guns. The acting, meanwhile, is nothing to write home about. Jovovich is on the same level as she's always been (for better or for worse), while the likes of Michelle Rodriguez and Sienna Guillory don't seem to care very much. Out of the cast, the worst is Shawn Roberts, whose performance as Wesker is incredibly stiff and false.

To be fair, Resident Evil: Retribution is a whole lot better than the woefully boring Afterlife, which had too much talking and too little ass-kicking. Anderson probably heeded these complaints, so Retribution is pretty much wall-to-wall action. This is fine in theory, but we need some believable character motivation and coherent storytelling. Without it, the film is a forgettable special effects show-reel. When it ends, it leaves us with the promise that an all-out, balls-to-the-wall war picture is coming which may bring closure to the series at last. But it's hard to get your hopes up about the next film, considering that Afterlife squandered the delirious potential established in Extinction's climax, and Retribution shat on Afterlife's promising conclusion. Anderson keeps promising that goodness is to come, but never delivers.

5.2/10

"I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand. Do NOT read the Latin!"

The Cabin in the Woods is an exceptionally hard motion picture to review. Audaciously unique, it's highly recommended that you seek to watch this movie at the earliest opportunity...but I can't tell you the exact reasons why. When you watch Cabin, you should be completely oblivious and without any idea about what to expect. This review will be very light on spoilers, but I recommend you watch the movie before reading the rest of what I have to say. Trust me, you need to get The Cabin in the Woods in front of your eyes as quickly as humanly possible. The directorial debut for Drew Goddard (Cloverfield scribe) who penned the screenplay with Joss Whedon, this is a smart film which reinvigorates stale slasher archetypes whilst always remaining engaging and amusing.

At the beginning of the film, five college pals - sensitive intellectual Holden (Williams), virginal good girl Dana (Connolly), stoner Marty (Kranz), jock Curt (Hemsworth) and Curt's promiscuous girlfriend Jules (Hutchison) - set out for a weekend getaway to an isolated cabin in the middle of nowhere. Suffice it to say, they find various unnerving eccentricities upon arriving at the cabin, and their alcohol-drenched, drug-laden activities are soon interrupted when deadly forces become unleashed.

The Cabin in the Woods uses a mind-blowingly original idea as the set-up for a commentary to highlight that horror movies aren't often original or imaginative. It starts out in the most hackneyed way imaginable, ticking off all the eye-rolling slasher clichés in the book as a bunch of attractive college students with stereotypical personalities converge for a weekend getaway at some secluded cabin. On the way to their destination, they encounter such clichés as a hostile local and dilapidated roads, and, as the group start having fun at the cabin, they find themselves under siege by some malevolent force. Admittedly, Cabin is a little slow to start during this period, but intrigue levels often remain high and the film soon picks up steam. When the full scope of what's actually happening - and what could potentially be happening - is revealed, The Cabin in the Woods completely cuts loose and goes bonkers, leading to one of the most creative, delirious and jaw-dropping final acts in motion picture history.

It's fascinating to see Cabin unfold before your eyes, as Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard's spot-on script introduces fresh ideas into the slasher genre whilst simultaneously adhering to the standard formula. (You have to see the film to understand how this is achieved.) This is not a smug satire of horrors like Scream; instead of an air of superiority, Whedon and Goddard aimed for a euphoric sense of invention. Through this, the script demonstrates that hackneyed clichés can still be effective if they are applied in an original fashion. On top of the creative storytelling, the script is smothered in witty dialogue and features surprisingly complex characters. As with any Whedon screenplay, chief among the film's pleasures is its healthy sense of humour.

Luckily, Goddard's filmmaking is every bit as sure-footed as the writing, resulting in a technically competent motion picture with attractive production values. Furthermore, the cast is sublime from top to bottom. Chris Hemsworth, who looks awkwardly younger here than he did in The Avengers, actually filmed his role of Curt back in 2009, long before he was known as Thor. Newfound fans of Chris should bear in mind that he is part of an ensemble here, and is by no means the central character. Fortunately, his performance is great; Hemsworth makes for a good jock. But the standout, easily, is Fran Kranz as the token stoner character. The little-known Kranz - who said he couldn't stop smiling for days after reading the script for Cabin - is terrific with one-liners, and he inhabited his role of Marty to great effect. (At one point in the movie, Marty's character radically changes, and Kranz effortlessly sells it.) Meanwhile, Kristen Connolly espouses tremendous charisma as Dana, and Jesse Williams did a solid job as Holden. Also in the cast is the perpetually-reliable Richard Jenkins, who absolutely hit this performance out of the park. I can't tell you exactly who he plays, but rest assured that Jenkins took the role and ran with it.

Production for The Cabin in the Woods wrapped in 2009, and the film was completed by the year's end. But delays ensued, as the film was targeted for an ill-advised 3-D conversion that never came to pass (thankfully), and the studio, MGM, did not have the money to fund a marketing campaign or proper distribution. Thus, it sat on the shelf for years, leading to speculation that it was a total dud. Thank God Lionsgate were able to buy the rights from MGM and distribute the picture, as The Cabin in the Woods is anything but a dud. Goddard and Whedon's movie is a fucking triumph - an endlessly enjoyable and dazzlingly daring motion picture experience unlike anything you've ever seen before. If you like horror movies or movies in general, or, fuck, if you just like having fun, take a chance and watch The Cabin in the Woods. You will thank me.

9.4/10

"Track 'em, find 'em, kill 'em."

Though this reviewer was a fan of Sylvester Stallone's 2010 film The Expendables, it was a rough-around-the-edges experiment that failed to take full advantage of its potential. Looking back, it's best perceived as a warm-up. The Expendables 2 is the real deal: the sequel we wanted and the Expendables film we deserved. At last, Stallone hath delivered on the original promise of a cheesy, over-the-top tongue-in-cheek action picture that revives the macho spirit of the '80s for an hour-and-a-half of awesome mayhem. It's a hare-brained blockbuster to be sure, but its infectious sense of fun never wanes, and you'll be grinning from ear to ear for the entire film. The Expendables 2 is junk food cinema done correctly.

Following their latest mission, Barney Ross (Stallone) and his ragtag team of mercenaries are soon approached by the irritable Mr. Church (Bruce Willis), who presents them with a new assignment: travel to a hellhole in Albania to retrieve a case containing information about the location of a plutonium stash. It's a seemingly easy job, yet things go wrong when the team are ambushed by Jean Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme) and his enormous army known as the Sangs. With the case stolen and the Expendables' youngest recruit Billy (Hemsworth) murdered, Barney can only think of revenge. As Vilain begins harvesting plutonium to sell on the black market, Barney's team - consisting of Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), Toll Road (Randy Couture) and Maggie Chan (Nan Nu) - set off across Eastern Europe tracking the Sangs. Extra muscle also arrives in the form of friendly mercenaries Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Booker (Church Norris), as well as Church himself, all of whom are determined to defeat Vilain.

The Expendables 2 hits the ground running, opening with an astounding extended action sequence spanning several locations as the team racks up a huge body count and blows shit up real good. It's a total gas, one-upping the awesome mayhem of the first movie to announce the return of these bad boys in an adrenaline-charged fashion. The Expendables 2 is mercifully lean as well, progressing at a ripping pace as it works through exposition, tough guy bonding time and bursts of top-notch action which strain believability in all the right ways. Surprisingly, character development is far better here than in the first film. The Expendables 2 is a true ensemble piece, with the team working together and partaking in several amusing group discussions in the space between all the violence. The camaraderie between these tough guys leaves very little to be desired, and each character has a distinguished presence. They also seem to be more cultured and have more depth, with character quirks being introduced through the consistent bantering.

The tone is absolutely spot-on here. The first endeavour was perhaps a little too serious at times when it should have cut loose more often. The Expendables 2, however, is more in the vein of True Lies and Commando - it's delightfully cheesy and tongue-in-cheek, smothered in meta playfulness, one-liners, funny repartee and agreeable absurdity (every second of Chuck Norris screen-time is pure gold). It's hugely entertaining from start to finish, with the Holy Trio (Arnie, Sly and Bruce) even making direct career references, and with Norris playing up his internet meme persona. It also walks the fine line between non-serious and outright parody - there are still things at stake and the action sequences are fierce; it's just that the violence is supplemented with a fun-loving, good-old-boy temperament.

With the now 66-year-old Sylvester Stallone having found The Expendables such a mentally and physically punishing endeavour as writer/director/actor, extra muscle was recruited to take some of the stress off Stallone's shoulders for this sequel. Thus, Con Air director Simon West helmed the picture, and his filmmaking is assured and sturdy. Gone is the shaky-cam of the first film, replaced with a smooth routine of wide shots and coherent editing. When Expendables 2 is locked in action mode, West offers up plenty of carnage and wanton destruction, observing the muscular heroes as they use big guns, knives and even fucking rocket launchers to destroy everyone and everything in their path. The body count is well above two hundred - this is a true '80s action film in spirit which lines up a cavalcade of nameless extras to be slaughtered by our favourite heroes. The result is spectacular. In particular, the airport-set climax has got to be in the running for the best action scene of 2012. Brian Tyler's score is also solid, even if it mostly seems recycled from the original film. A good array of classic rock songs are scattered throughout the flick as well, not to mention Frank Stallone's terrific new single "Don't Want to Fight With Me" is featured.

Performances all-round are enjoyable and energetic. Stallone is visibly growing older, but he still has a great screen presence as Barney Ross. Alongside him, Jason Statham is effortlessly badass. But the standouts, easily, are Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Lundgren has a lot more to do here as off-the-rails giant Gunner, and his performance is hugely entertaining. And as Vilain, a flamboyant Van Damme chews the scenery with gusto, delivering his best performance in years. Jet Li's presence is unfortunately minimised in the film, but he shines brightly for his limited screen-time and is well-utilised. Terry Crews and Randy Couture also return, and, with more room to make an impression, both are fun to watch. Meanwhile, Chuck Norris is the gamest here that he's been in years, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is still a delightful, crowd-pleasing presence who handles one-liners with utmost confidence. Likewise, Bruce Willis seems to have broken out of his acting coma of recent years, and clearly had a tremendous amount of fun as Mr. Church. Even Liam Hemsworth is good here - he brings boyish charm to his small role, and actually looks convincing alongside this team of tough guys. The only weak link in the cast is Nan Yu as Maggie. A more interesting casting decision could have yielded a stronger character - what about a seasoned Asian veteran like Michelle Yeoh? Or better yet, a badass female like Sigourney Weaver or Linda Hamilton? Yu's presence just doesn't make sense.

Despite its strengths, The Expendables 2 is still not quite perfect. Apparently, the film was initially intended to be PG-13, and at times it does feel like it's pulling punches, though there are still some agreeably violent action beats (and the blood is a good mixture of practical squibs and CGI blood). Furthermore, while the cinematography is solid in terms of framing, the camera quality is at times astonishingly shoddy, as if a lot of shots were digitally zoomed in leading to a loss of resolution. West and cinematographer Shelly Johnson also bath the picture in washed-out colours of ashen grey, and one must wonder if the film might have been superior with a more colourful look. Furthermore, although Van Damme remains an excellent villain who consistently chews up the scenery (director Simon West has said he was hard to predict and always did something different each take), he doesn't do enough killing, while cult action star Scott Adkins is severely underused as his right-hand man. The movie feels too cobbled together at times as well, with actors' schedules meaning that Jet Li gets conveniently separated from the group in the beginning before they encounter Schwarzenegger, and Statham sits out the big shootout on the New York City set. Plus, Statham's fight with Akins is still a missed opportunity - filming time for this sequence was reduced to accommodate a bone-headed Novak Djokovic cameo which does not even make the final cut. Plus, there's the matter of the CGI throughout the movie, such as a motorbike/helicopter action beat that really should have been cut.

Against all odds, The Expendables 2 does justice to its phenomenal cast, giving everyone a chance to shine. The actors all get memorable kills and moments to their name, and they're nicely balanced in terms of screen-time. Sure, you may complain that the likes of Chuck and Arnie don't get as much screen-time as they should have been given, but a lean, disciplined movie is better than a long, self-indulgent mess - not to mention Chuck and Arnie are so awesome directly because they're used sparingly. Christ Almighty, The Expendables 2 is one fucking awesome film; a hugely enjoyable action fiesta that delivers, and then some. I couldn't wipe the smirk off my face. And just to top things off, the film ends in true '80s style with a stylish end credits reel featuring a curtain call set to the groovy tune of Rare Earth's "I Just Want To Celebrate."

8.5/10