Reviews by PvtCaboose91

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega."

Following Kevin Smith's breakout film Clerks. in 1994, the filmmaker was free to do whatever he wanted on the studio's dime. Smith's next film became Mallrats, another uproarious showcase of his talent for witty dialogue and entertaining characters. Bringing back the roles of Jay (Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith), the film is also a part of Smith's interconnected "View Askewniverse" series of movies; it's not exactly a sequel to Clerks., but it unfolds in the same cinematic universe. Although Mallrats bombed at the box office and received a lukewarm critical reception, the film was a success on home video, and has developed into somewhat of a cult classic. Ignore the bad reviews, as this is a devilishly enjoyable "beer and pizza" comedy.

After slackers T.S. (London) and Brodie (Lee) are dumped by their respective girlfriends, the pair retreat to their local shopping mall for a hangout. Upon arrival, they discover that a dating show is being filmed in the mall, overseen by Jared Svenning (Rooker), father of T.S.'s former girlfriend Brandi (Forlani). On top of this, T.S. and Brodie encounter a number of mall-dwellers, including Brodie's ex-girlfriend Rene (Doherty), angry sales clerk Shannon (Affleck), underage sex documentarian Tricia (Humphrey), and the dynamic duo of Jay and Silent Bob, who aim to prevent the dating show from taking place.

Smith simply recycled the Clerks. formula for his sophomore effort, changing the central setting to a mall but otherwise retaining the trademark of quirky, offbeat protagonists who deal with personal issues and banter about pop-culture topics. With most of the action confined to the shopping mall, Mallrats amounts to an infectiously fun sequence of non-sequiturs and comedic vignettes sporting sight gags, practical jokes and one-liners. Admittedly, the pacing is not as strong as it was in Clerks. since the dialogue is not as consistently sharp, but the film nevertheless contains a healthy amount of sparkling, quotable dialogue. Mallrats also contains many film and comic book references that geeks will appreciate. The likes of Batman, Apocalypse Now, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Jaws are all referenced, and Stan Lee, the master of the comic book universe, even makes a cameo. Added to this, there are a few nice visual gags; the shops are given wonderful names like Rug Munchers, Buy Me Toys, Burning Flesh Tanning Salon and Popular Girl Fashions.

Working on a much more generous budget as opposed to the $27,000 he provided himself to make Clerks., Mallrats is a more professional-looking picture than its predecessor, even though Smith's direction is somewhat on the drab side. There's not a great deal of artistry to the photography, with Smith and director of photography David Klein simply pointing the camera at the actors, mostly filming in master shots and only getting limited coverage. As a result, this is not exactly a dynamic flick, and dead spots arise because of this. However, there are a number of excellent sequences, the most notable of which involve the hijinks of Jay and Silent Bob. Surprisingly, action scenes stems from the antics of these two bumbling fools as they try to stop the game show and evade police. It's great stuff. On top of this, the film kicks off with a brilliant opening title sequence involving a killer joke and images of the cast in comic book form.

Mallrats stars an array of familiar faces, all of whom were in the early stages of their career at this point. In the cast there's Jeremy London, Ethan Suplee, Jason Lee, Claire Forlani, Shannen Doherty, Joey Lauren Adams, Michael Rooker and even Ben Affleck. London is a nicely effective T.S., but the standout is Lee, who's hilarious unhinged and adorably childish as Brodie. Lee steals the show with ease. It's also interesting to see a young Affleck here in a performance that oozes douchebaggery. Meanwhile, Rooker plays a moustache-twirling villain type as Brandie's father, but he does amusing things with the role.

Mallrats is one of Kevin Smith's least-respected films, but this reviewer had a ball with it. And, let's face it, it looks positively immaculate alongside the dreadful misfires of Cop Out and Red State. Although certainly no Oscar contender in any respect, Mallrats is a fun film with plenty of jokes and lots to enjoy.

7.6/10

"You think I'm a hero? I am not a hero. And if you're smart, that scares you. Because I have nothing to lose."

2012's Jack Reacher is not the type of film most people will be expecting. With Paramount marketing the picture as a pure action fiesta, movie-goers will likely watch the movie anticipating an unofficial Mission: Impossible sequel featuring Tom Cruise, the generic action hero. But, as those familiar with Lee Child's Jack Reacher books will be aware, the movie is, in fact, a mystery/thriller more concerned with intrigue and plot twists than outright violence. Though it falls short of its potential, Jack Reacher is a fun, handsomely mounted flick that delivers wholesome escapist thriller entertainment, the likes of which we only occasionally see done well. (It's a lot better than Alex Cross).

When unhinged Iraq War veteran James Barr (Joseph Sikora) is framed for a vicious sniper rampage that took the lives of five people, his one request is to get Jack Reacher (Tom Cruise). A drifter who now lives off the grid, Reacher is a former U.S. Army investigator, and he rides into town as soon as he hears of Barr's arrest. Though Reacher assumes Barr is guilty due to the vet's previous actions, the former Military Police Investigator begins to dig deeper into the clues with Barr's lawyer, Helen (Rosamund Pike), revealing a more intricate plot. As he works through suspects and conducts an investigation, Reacher soon comes up against brutal enforcer Charlie (Jai Courtney) and his fingerless boss, The Zec (Werner Herzog).

Writer-director Christopher McQuarrie's screenplay is based on Lee Child's 2005 novel One Shot. The translation to the screen is, for the most part, successful, with engaging dialogue and with McQuarrie keeping the story interesting throughout. Pacing is a strong suit, as no unnecessary subplots weigh the film down. Jack Reacher is very no-nonsense, with the titular character consistently moving from Point A to Point B, only occasionally slowing down to present Helen with his findings and allow the audience to catch up on all the evidence. However, the narrative is so sophisticated and dense that it seems McQuarrie was unsure how to handle it. Characters uncover conspiracies and shady company dealings, but McQuarrie opts for the easy way out, eventually simplifying the equation to people shooting one another. Those involved in the conspiracy end up dead, of course, but how much can be proved in court to justify the killings? Can the company behind the conspiracy be taken to task, or has Reacher done them a favour by eliminating the pawns who did all the dirty work? A lot needs further wrapping up after the climax, and McQuarrie does not even try to resolve it, cutting the film off instead.

McQuarrie's regular day job is as a screenwriter extraordinaire, with credits like the Oscar-winning The Usual Suspects and 2008's Valkyrie to his name. Jack Reacher is only his second directorial effort after the 2000 film The Way of the Gun from twelve years prior. Even though this is only his second time directing a feature film, McQuarrie's handling of Jack Reacher is slick and accomplished, building intrigue and staging action sequences with equal assurance. Most impressive is the opening sniper massacre, a harrowing and gripping set piece that begins the film with no dialogue and ample tension. With cinematographer Caleb Deschanel capturing the movie on 35mm film, this is a good-looking, old-fashioned action-thriller, with every fight and conflict captured through steady camera set-ups, smooth editing and extended shots. Cruise did most of his stunts, adding realism and excitement to the set pieces. A loud, intense car chase and a vicious showdown between Reacher and Charlie are of particular note. After so much patient build-up, the action may be out-of-place, but at least the action sequences are skilful and entertaining.

Internet controversy came thick and fast when Cruise closed a deal to star as Reacher. The books describe Reacher as a tall, muscular behemoth with short blonde hair, making the role appropriate for someone like Dwayne Johnson or Dolph Lundgren. A more faithful screen iteration of Reacher would be interesting, but Cruise makes this version of the character work, as he is both brutal and charming. The role is gruffer than the characters Cruise usually plays, and the star embraces the chance to go against his typecast persona, replacing his trademark smile with steely determination and tremendous ferocity. Cruise is fifty years old here, but he does not look a day over forty. Meanwhile, practically any actress could have played the role of Helen, but Rosamund Pike is a good pick, as she is beautiful and believable. The dependable Richard Jenkins also impresses as the District Attorney, while Australian actor Jai Courtney makes for a credible brute. What really boosts the film, though, is the casting of German filmmaker Werner Herzog as The Zec. He gets limited screen time, but he is memorably sinister. Also of note is the always-reliable screen legend Robert Duvall, who plays a gun shop owner and former Gunnery Sergeant. Duvall shares excellent chemistry with Cruise.

Jack Reacher entered cinemas at an awkward time for American audiences. Arriving not long after the tragic Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings, many may feel uncomfortable watching the sniper slaughter, in which a gunman kills innocents in cold blood. This observation is not a criticism of the film, and the timing is not McQuarrie's fault, but sensitive movie-goers should be wary of the content. Ultimately, Jack Reacher is two-thirds of a great thriller and one-third of a standard, generic action film. It had the potential to be a more sophisticated, Oscar-grade flick, but the finished movie is nevertheless enjoyable as popcorn entertainment. Cruise is aiming for another film franchise here, as several other Jack Reacher books can be adapted if Paramount deems this endeavour successful enough. And there is no problem with that - I would happily pay to see further adventures of Cruise as Reacher.

7.1/10

"I'm not even supposed to be here today! "

Produced in 1994 on a measly $27,000 budget, Clerks. was the feature film debut for Kevin Smith, and it proved to be his ticket into the industry. Smith reportedly financed the flick himself, selling off his comic book collection, maxing out his credit cards and borrowing money from his parents to produce this foul-mouthed, witty and extremely enjoyable small-scale comedy. Love it or hate it, Clerks. defines a generation, and it has amassed an enormous cult following in the years since its release. And on top of being frequently entertaining, Clerks. is imbued with topics and ideas that resonate with people, regardless of how profane the dialogue is.

In the small township of Leonardo, New Jersey, Dante Hicks (O'Halloran) works a dead-end job at a local Quick Stop convenience store while his friend Randal (Anderson) watches over the neighbouring video shop. In the early hours of a Saturday morning, Dante is forced to come into work to even though it's his day off. From there, Clerks. is very much a day-in-the-life portrayal of Dante and Randal as they endure ungrateful customers and attempt to sort out their personal problems. Dante deals with his love life after finding out that one of his ex-girlfriends is getting married, while Randal spits blatant misanthropy and cynicism at every customer he sees. All the while, a pair of stoners named Jay (Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) hang around the store to sell marijuana, occasionally shoplift, and generally chill out.

Clerks. is a plotless 90-minute movie set almost entirely in one single location concerning a small group of main characters. And since it was shot on 16mm black and white film stock by an inexperienced crew, the film isn't exactly an aesthetically pleasing experience. For all intents and purposes, Clerks. should not have worked, but it does on account of Smith's witty screenplay, the well-judged pacing and the selection of entertaining characters. Smith has created some of the funniest, most intelligent speakers in the movie world; people who mix terms like "oral bowel movement" and "managerial control" with scores of profanity. Clerks. also excels as a biting commentary on working in retail. It's clear that Smith has dealt with his fair share of ignorant, moronic and rude souls during his time as a retail clerk, and wanted to expose the true nature of such people. Smith did not even need to use exaggeration; the idiosyncrasies displayed by the customers are hilariously authentic, and anyone who has worked behind a counter for more than a week will guffaw at how truthful the film is. At one stage, Randal even exclaims "This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers" - something that any retail worker can relate to.

One has to admire Smith's dedicated work ethic. He was employed at the convenience store where the film was shot, and, for three straight weeks, he worked from 6am until 11pm, then filmed until 4am and got about an hour of sleep before repeating the cycle. However, while Clerks. is peppered with witty dialogue and brilliant jokes, it is an independent film created by a first-timer, and it does look rough. To save money, Smith shot on cheap film stock, leading to a grainy-looking picture with some harsh editing and odd cinematography, on top of various other technical issues. But while the film is not pretty, the raw moviemaking gives the film a sense of character.

For the most part, the acting is fairly amateurish, which is perhaps to be expected since Smith used his family and friends. (Some people even played various roles.) However, leads Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson are exceptional, displaying top-notch comic timing and emanating boundless charm. O'Halloran and Anderson exchange banter beautifully, and their interactions always sparkle. Also of note is an amusing Jason Mewes as Jay, and Kevin Smith himself who's funny and effective as Silent Bob.

Years on, Clerks. still holds up. It's very much a product of his time with its dated pop culture riffs and heavily out-dated depiction of video stores. (Remember VHS tapes? Remember when people rented films on a consistent basis, rather than pirating 90% of new releases?) However, its early '90s characteristics are all part of the charm. This is not family-friendly viewing due to all the expletives (the MPAA tried to slap the film with an NC-17 rating due to its dialogue), but those who enjoy more adult-oriented comedies should have an absolute ball with this one.

7.8/10

"We need someone to watch the kids. We were wondering if you'd want to?"

I thought (hoped?) Hollywood got over these types of movies years ago. Parental Guidance is one of those "dysfunctional family" comedies that were run into the ground by the likes of The Pacifier, Are We Done Yet?, Cheaper by the Dozen, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, RV, The Game Plan, and so on. And yet, it would seem that filmmakers still haven't learned how to do these types of comedies properly. Rather than an amusing distraction, Parental Guidance is a putrid holiday coal lump designed for the lowest common denominator, suffering from shamelessly broad acting, flaccid humour and an entirely trite message about family unity. It honestly feels like a tuneless 30-minute sitcom episode that has been tragically extended to feature-length.

Artie (Billy Crystal) is a veteran announcer for a minor league baseball team, but he suddenly loses his job for not being "hip" enough. When Artie's daughter, Alice (Marisa Tomei), and her husband, Phil (Tom Everett Scott), head out on a business trip, they call in Artie and his wife, Diane (Bette Midler), to babysit the kids. Artie baulks at the idea, but Diane embraces the chance to get closer to her grandchildren. However, Alice and Phil abide by a modern parental approach, which does not sit well with the old-fashioned Artie. Let the predictable hijinks begin...

Parental Guidance points out cultural differences in an attempt to score laughs, but the results are flat and predictable. Artie and Diane do not understand the new generation of parenting, leading to a few instances of "back in my day..." dialogue. Sure, today's overzealous, high-tech, "politically correct" parental methods are absurd, but the potshots are too easy and obvious. Oh, and the grandparents aren't well-versed in today's Internet world, leading to more "hilarious" gags - when Artie's boss fires him, he says he'd prefer an announcer who tweets, to which Artie replies, "I'll make any noise you want!" Outside of this, writers Lisa Addario and Joe Syracuse trust in the good ol' poop and fart formula, with one of the kids turning the name Artie into "Fartie" and with skateboarder Tony Hawk stacking on a halfpipe after slipping on some urine. Every scene exists to set up some kind of gag, but everything is signposted so far in advance that you'll accurately predict whatever pitfall is about to occur. Worse, barely any of the gags are even funny; they are just pedestrian.

Unsurprisingly, sentiment eventually sneaks into the production, underscored by trite piano twinkling to shamelessly reinforce how important the moment is meant to be. There's no rhythm, personality or feeling to Andy Fickman's workmanlike direction. To its credit, Parental Guidance at least looks bright and vibrant, rendering it at least somewhat watchable to the unfussy viewers. Furthermore, as bad as the film is at its core, a few moments admittedly work, with a small amount of set pieces that achieve what they were designed to do. The problem is that it just takes too damn long for the half-decent stuff to kick in. Plus, too much trite malarkey is included for the stereotypical formula's sake. Of course, there's going to be a scene in which Alice and Phil unexpectedly arrive home at the most inopportune time for Artie and Diane, which leads to tattered relationships; of course, there's going to be heartfelt chatting and reconciliations, and of course, the good in Artie and Diane's old-school parenting methods are going to be brought out and lauded. Fickman could only do so much with this material, I guess.

By all accounts, the leading players at the centre of Parental Guidance are terrific under normal circumstances. Until recently, Crystal has been one of the most entertaining funny-men in the industry, but he's clearly lost his touch. Crystal hasn't headlined a movie in many-a-year, making it all the more disappointing that he sprinted into this tosh instead of attaching himself to a better script. It's clear, though, that all of the actors were let down by this by-the-numbers script. A few lines may cause guffaws, but there's a good chance that Crystal ad-libbed all of the worthwhile dialogue, and there's absolutely nothing here on a par with Crystal's best material.

Parental Guidance is a showcase of pretty much everything that can go wrong in filmmaking shy of forgetting to load the camera (which actually would've made for an improvement here). It's utterly terrible, a holiday movie intended to make you laugh and cry but will instead make you cringe and stare blankly at the screen. It feels too calculated and manufactured, without an ounce of passion or care in sight. The film also closes with a short additional scene at the end of the credits. Conventional wisdom would dictate sticking around for this, but it's not worth prolonging one's experience any longer. When the credits roll, just escape and move on with your life. Hell, escape before you start watching this rancid malarkey.

3.8/10

"Kable's the perfect soldier. He's a tactical killing computer. His only vulnerability is the nanex itself; the ping, the delay between Simon's commands and Kable's ability to execute."

Gamer is essentially the Death Race of the videogame world, topped off with a hint of social satire and filtered through the distinct filmmaking lens of Crank masterminds Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. There is a sci-fi twist, however - the gamers of the story do not control artificial avatars in a computer-generated environment, but are instead given full control over real flesh-and-blood human beings. To be sure, Gamer excels when it's locked in frenetic action mode, but the flick is less successful whenever the bloodshed halts, with the half-baked narrative leaving a lot to be desired.

In an unspecified future, virtual reality videogames are enormously popular. Owned by wealthy media mogul Ken Castle (Hall), the videogame Slayers lets players control the body of a death row inmate who's sent into a hellish warzone. The condemned prisoners volunteer to participate in the game, as they are promised their freedom if they survive 30 rounds of violent warfare. One warrior named Kable (Butler) is getting close to earning his freedom, with only a few rounds left to survive before he can return to his family. Knowing that Castle will not easily let him go, Kable asks the gamer who's controlling him, Simon (Lerman), to set him free during a battle. Staging an escape, Kable sets off to find his wife Angie (Valletta), who's a participant in Castle's other virtual reality game, Society. Helping Kable is a controversial group of hackers who called themselves 'Humanz'.

Neveldine and Taylor's script for Gamer is more ambitious than their efforts on the Crank movies. It's a satire which explores society's current love affair with both reality television and interactive videogames like The Sims, World of Warcraft and Second Life. Gamer also recognises that, when online, gamers can become anyone that they want thanks to internet anonymity. This is emphasised by the fact that Kable's attractive wife is seen being controlled by a disgusting fatty. The satire is easy and obvious, to be sure, but it is amusing, and it affords the film some sense of thoughtfulness. Unfortunately, Gamer carries the earmarks of a motion picture that was mangled in the editing room. The film is lean and mean at around 90 minutes in length, leaving no room for any meaningful dramatic growth. Admittedly, this facilitates effective narrative momentum, but it leaves the picture feeling underdone, with the huge cast of familiar faces (Alison Lohman, Keith David, Terry Crews, Ludacris, Milo Ventimiglia and John Leguizamo are all here) all stuck in thankless supporting roles, indicating that they might have formerly been part of a beefier story.

Gamer is at its best whenever the Slayers competitors enter the combat arena. Visually, the film is a home run; the world of Slayers is excellently-designed, with fantastic abandoned environments a perfect setting for plenty of awesome destruction marshalled by veteran action directors Neveldine and Taylor. The action set-pieces peppered throughout the flick are never short of spectacular. Although the photography is often shaky and the editing is a bit on the rapid side, it's still possible to discern what's happening, and the results are enormously exhilarating. As Gamer was shot with Red One cameras, it looks gorgeous and crystal clear, proving that digital photography is here to stay. Also impressive is the depiction of the other virtual reality game, the Sims-like Society. It's a bright, colourful and stylised world of sex, drugs, wigs and dated fashion.

Predictably, acting is terribly average on the whole, with none of the performers projecting enough gravitas or intensity to make for a proper central anchor to latch onto. Gerard Butler gives it his all, but the material renders him forgettable, as his character has no substance to speak of and Butler is just left to spout generic action movie speak. Michael C. Hall (TV's Dexter) embraced the chance to play the villain here, hamming it up to extremes. At one stage he even does a flamboyant song and dance number, for crying out loud. The rest of the cast is strictly 'meh'; Lohman is attractive but unremarkable, Leguizamo has exactly nothing to do, Crews gets an extended cameo at best, and so on.

In final analysis, Gamer is enjoyable as a switch-your-brain-off action fiesta (especially with the R-rated levels of carnage) but it's also frustrating. Neveldine and Taylor introduce a number of interesting concepts and ideas, but they are at odds with the generic storytelling. It's as if Philip K. Dick mapped out the broad strokes, but the fine details were filled in by much less sophisticated writers. Still, Gamer is not the joyless disaster that critics seem to have dismissed it as. Yes, the film could've been a profound sci-fi masterpiece if it ventured deeper below the surface, but it has a bucket-load of excellent action sequences and the hyper-kinetic style ensures that the picture is never boring.

6.5/10

"When the day of quality ends in this country, we'll all be in great trouble indeed."

Rote adaptations of Charles Dickens' 1843 novella A Christmas Carol are a dime a dozen, with a vast amount of filmmakers having produced versions that retain the 19th Century London setting as well as all the proverbial characters. It has been done to death so much that straight retellings are now completely superfluous. Announcing itself to be different via its title, 1979's An American Christmas Carol transplants the classic story to Depression-era America in the 1930s, retaining Dickens' core story elements and thematic principles while putting a new name and face on the old tale.

Standing in for Ebenezer Scrooge is curmudgeonly businessman Benedict Slade (Winkler). Set in New Hampshire in 1933, Slade spends his Christmas Eve driving around town with his assistant, Mr. Thatcher (Thomson), out to heartlessly repossess goods and properties from the less fortunate. Thatcher is fired after questioning Slade's bitter behaviour, forcing him to return to his family with bad news and a bleak outlook for his sickly young son Jonathan (Cragg). Alone on the night before Christmas, Slade is visited by the spirit of deceased business partner Jack Latham (Pogue) who warns Slade about what the afterlife may hold for him. Throughout the night, Slade is then visited by several more apparitions who guide him through his past, present and potential future, hoping to make him see the error of his ways and perhaps persuade him to fix his life before he meets with a lonely death.

Wisely, writer Jerome Coopersmith did not simply copy and paste the highlights of A Christmas Carol into the 1930s setting. An American Christmas Carol disposes of the ancient Dickens dialogue, and, though the story is essentially the same, not every scene or character is given an equivalent here. In fact, some of the most memorable moments and passages were done away with; Slade doesn't even use the phrase "humbug" at any point. Coopersmith also worked to make certain aspects of the story relevant in its new setting. For instance, instead of growling at people seeking donations for the orphanage, Slade warmly invites them into his business and gifts them with leaflets containing advice about self-reliance and financial responsibility. In spite of the changes, the movie still upholds the spirit of Dickens' story to the letter, effectively reinforcing the relevant messages of the source material.

Director Eric Till (A Muppet Family Christmas) has a talent for storytelling, as An American Christmas Carol is well-paced and at times absorbing. The flick's greatest success is its trip into Slade's past. This particular section of the narrative is meaty and engaging, with the script borrowing elements of Ebenezer Scrooge's recognisable past but ultimately providing a fresh-feeling background for Slade that's relevant to both the period and the setting. However, An American Christmas Carol is a made-for-television movie, and this is often obvious. Although production values are usually impressive and the flick was lensed in 35mm film, the cinematography lacks flair, giving the film a flat and basic appearance. Added to this, there is not a single attempt to make the ghosts look like anything other than regular people, hence this adaptation is at no point frightening or dark enough. Plus, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is an African American in '70s fashion, which seems somewhat corny and makes the picture look dated.

An American Christmas Carol was produced in 1979, at the height of Fonzie-mania. Henry Winkler was renowned and recognised for played Fonzie in Happy Days, hence the actor wanted to feature in more projects that would help him live down the Fonzie image and show he that was more than just a leather jacket and a catchphrase. In the role of wealthy Scrooge-esque businessman Benedict Slade, Winkler is a mixed bag. He fares best in the scenes of Slade's past since he looks more at ease with the role and his face isn't obscured by make-up. As elderly Slade, however, Winkler is not quite convincing. The make-up is strictly okay, and Winkler has trouble effectively selling himself as an old man. His mannerisms are half-baked, while his voice sounds forced and youthful. At times the illusion works, but for the most part Winkler's performance is underwhelming.

An American Christmas Carol probably seems pointless, especially since a number of excellent A Christmas Carol adaptations are readily available. Nevertheless, this American retelling is worth a watch. Even though the film's final resolution is completely predictable and the story's messages have grown trite, this production tells the story well, and it's interesting to see how the filmmakers handled the change from England to America.

6.8/10

"My dear Frodo, you asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. Well, I can honestly say I've told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it."

Following up Peter Jackson's groundbreaking The Lord of the Rings trilogy with a film adaptation of The Hobbit was always going to be a tricky proposition. Whereas The Lord of the Rings is a dense, dark and mature fantasy epic, J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit is a children's book with a light tone and a simplistic narrative. Hence, any fans of Jackson's trilogy expecting The Hobbit to be similarly gritty and expansive will be disappointed. Plus, you will need to accept the fact that The Hobbit was never going to be as good as LOTR - Jackson's Rings was a once-in-a-lifetime achievement that can never be equalled or topped in terms of sheer excellence, charm or emotional impact. If you can suitably adjust your expectations, however, 2012's The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is a solid return to Middle-earth; a damn good fantasy adventure that's funny, fun and visually succulent.

In the Lonely Mountains, the treasure-filled dwarf kingdom of Erebor is overtaken by the dragon Smaug, forcing the dwarves to abandon their home. Set 60 years before the events of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, An Unexpected Journey concerns humble Hobbit Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), who's suddenly visited by the wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellen) and thirteen dwarves led by the great Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage). The company is on a quest to reclaim Erebor, and are on the lookout for a small, stealthy thief to join the team. Although initially reluctant, Bilbo agrees to be the dwarves' burglar, leaving the comfort of his warm home as he sets out into the perilous world of Middle-earth. Thrust into the adventure, Bilbo encounters trolls and Orcs, as well as the cave of the creature Gollum where he finds the infamous One Ring…

Tolkien's Lord of the Rings novels ran for a total of 1500 pages and thus needed to be extensively truncated for the screen, but The Hobbit is a meagre 300 pages long, compelling Jackson and his co-writers (Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens and original director Guillermo del Toro) to extend the slender kid's book to produce a prequel trilogy. Rather than simply padding everything out, the writers mined material from Tolkien's other works, further delving into certain characters and establishing additional connections to the LOTR universe. Cynical critics are destined to bash the trilogy notion as a cash-grab, and whine and moan that An Unexpected Journey feels too padded out, but the film actually works. It may be easy to call the film overlong but I cannot think of any scene or dialogue exchange that should be removed. Running at 160 minutes, the film has breathing room for proper character development and dramatic growth, two aspects of which are crucial in a story with so many protagonists. An Unexpected Journey is inherently tied to the events of The Fellowship of the Ring as well. The tale is framed around elderly Bilbo (Ian Holm) writing his memoirs while preparations for his 111th birthday party are well underway. To further the prequel angle, An Unexpected Journey is not solely concerned with the dwarves setting out to reclaim their home - there's a side story involving Gandalf investigating the possibility of Sauron's impending return.

Bilbo is initially anxious about leaving The Shire and he doesn't feel a sense of belonging with the dwarves, but he gradually develops into a man of courage and confidence, and his originally pessimistic companions grow to accept the Halfling as one of their own. This character arc gives the picture a degree of heart and emotion, two aspects which made The Lord of the Rings so excellent. Another tremendous benefit of An Unexpected Journey is the colourful and lively dialogue, not to mention the picture's wonderful sense of humour. The comedy does not feel cheap, however, but rather a natural extension of the dwarves' personalities as well as the nature of dwarves in general. The reintroduction of Gollum (Andy Serkis) is another huge plus. The return of this cult favourite comes at just the right time, and his game of riddles with Bilbo provides a delightful scene of character interaction that's every bit as exciting as the large-scale battles. Gollum looks astonishingly realistic here, highly detailed and with plenty of facial nuance courtesy of Serkis' expectedly brilliant motion capture performance that's incredibly entertaining to watch. Anyone who has read The Hobbit (this reviewer included) will be stoked with Jackson's cinematic treatment of some of the book's most iconic scenes.

Jackson started his career in low-budget cinema, forcing him to make the most of every dollar and focus on intensity rather than pure effects overload. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is a CGI bonanza, yet the film is also genuinely exciting and at times nail-biting. The decade separating The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit has yielded enormous technological advancements; Jackson's WETA Workshop have raised the bar yet again, providing some of the most vibrant and stunning digital effects glimpsed in a motion picture this year. A few creatures admittedly look a bit too glossy and digital, however, and one feels that the creatures should've been brought to life using the incredible make-up effects which made the Uruk-hai in LOTR so memorable. Still, it's often difficult to discern where the live-action halts and the CGI begins. Plus, location shooting plays a huge part in the production, with the expansive landscapes of New Zealand providing gorgeous vistas and with intricate set construction breathing amazing life into Tolkien's visions.

Due to the decision to shoot digitally, An Unexpected Journey carries a different cinematic look, though the colour timing is reminiscent of LOTR. Cinematographer Andrew Lesnie also shot The Hobbit in 3-D in 48 frames per second (as opposed to the traditional 24fps) to give the experience a hyper-realistic look. The 48fps aspect will be polarising; for this reviewer, it was uniquely enthralling and the 3-D effects are extremely impressive. Watching An Unexpected Journey in 48fps 3-D is breathtaking, but it is equally effective in regular 2-D at 24fps, which is actually the preferred method of viewing since it feels more in keeping with the LOTR trilogy. The whole thing is topped off with Howard Shore's score, which is just as flavoursome and engaging as his work on The Lord of the Rings.

With over a decade having passed since the filming of The Lord of the Rings, returning actors look unusually older even though they're meant to be 60 years younger. It's not hugely problematic per se, but Ian Holm does not quite look the same as he did in The Fellowship of the Ring, and Elijah Wood's cameo takes you out of the film because of his aging. Moreover, while McKellen remains an excellent Gandalf, he too looks much older, and it's disappointing that make-up did not rectify this. In spite of this, performances are incredible right down the line. Martin Freeman is Bilbo Baggins. He does not simply play the part, he embodies it, and absolutely no-one else could've tackled this character. Another standout is Richard Armitage as Thorin, a dwarf both badass and charismatic who makes a huge impression as the company's leader. There are a lot of extra dwarves populating the background, only some of which stand out. My favourite was Irishman James Nesbitt (from the miniseries Jekyll), who's funny and energetic as Bofur.

It's difficult to be disappointed with The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. It takes a little while to get going, but the picture truly takes off after the first hour, providing exceptional battle scenes and well-judged character interaction. It's good old-fashioned adventure epic fun, and it shows that Peter Jackson still has a gift for telling stories in this world. An Unexpected Journey is a wonderful return to Middle-earth and a breathtaking opener for this new trilogy. It's nothing short of a miracle that The Hobbit was even made after being so extensively delayed, so it's fortunate that this first part doesn't suck. Bring on the next two instalments!

9.2/10

On one grim day in April 2006, housing officers entered the apartment of Joyce Vincent in Wood Green, London, to follow up on the thousands of pounds she owed in rent. There, the investigators found Joyce's corpse slumped on the sofa, where she had lain dead for two-and-a-half years, so long that her body had severely decomposed, making it impossible to determine the cause of death. Christmas presents she'd just wrapped surrounded Joyce, and her television was still on. Shockingly, Joyce was not a shut-in senior citizen, nor did she take drugs or drink alcohol. Instead, she was a sexy, sociable 38-year-old woman with sisters, a string of former lovers, and various friends and work colleagues. How could her death have gone unnoticed? How could Joyce have been so isolated? It is a story that's heartbreaking, depressing and horrific, and it lingers in one's mind.

When filmmaker Carol Morley read about Joyce's death in the newspaper, she was shocked that the article revealed nothing about Joyce's life. It didn't even include a photo! Curious, Morley met with councillors and journalists in the Wood Green area but failed to find the answers she sought. Subsequently, Morley ran ads in newspapers and on taxis seeking Joyce's friends, family and acquaintances, hoping to cobble together their testimonies and piece together Joyce's life preceding her lonely death. Dreams of a Life is the product of Morley's hard work. An achingly poignant docudrama, the film comprises interviews with people connected to Joyce, who talk about her at great length. Morley intersperses the interviews with staged reconstructions featuring actor Zawe Ashton playing Joyce. Through the picture, Morley sets out to build a portrait of this woman, and she asks several provocative questions about sexual politics and the society that let Joyce down.

In the 21st Century, living off the grid is practically impossible. Cameras watch almost everything we do, we have rent and bills to pay, we (should) keep in constant contact with numerous people close to us, and so on. It's unthinkable that such a vibrant young woman as Joyce could go missing for almost three years without anybody realising. Any one of us would be heartbroken if we were deemed so expendable that nobody would notice our death, but as Morley digs deeper into the mystery, heart-wrenching testimonies explain that Joyce may need to shoulder some of the blame. She was not antisocial, but she was somewhat of a difficult person, moving from place to place without notice, ignoring calls from her family, and pushing people away from her, to the extent that her friends simply assumed she was off having a better life than them when she was, in fact, lying dead in her bedsit. It's a heartbreaking story, and it is all the more poignant as everything comes into focus.

The dramatic reenactments of Joyce's life add exceptional dimension and power to the picture. Morley does not stage the type of cheesy reconstruction scenes one sees in crime shows, nor does she show images of Joyce's decomposing skeleton or anything similarly morbid. Instead, the reenactments display tasteful imagination and interpretation, underscoring accounts of the person that Joyce was before her premature death. As played by Ashton, Joyce is brought back to life as a vibrant, bubbly and popular woman full of warmth and exuberance, yet certain scenes convey that Joyce was ultimately an enigma, as emphasised by the often contradictory accounts from Morley's interviewees. Joyce was also a budding singer, and Morley was able to dig up some of the very few recordings she left behind. When played, these recordings send a chill down your spine.

Morley's primary focus is on the extreme isolation of the documentary's heroine. Dreams of a Life is, at its core, a searing celluloid poem about loneliness; more specifically, it's about the type of loneliness that occurs in a large city. London is often considered a bustling metropolis, yet Morley paints a vision of London as an emotional wasteland where singles live unhappy lives in small flats. Dreams of a Life falls short of perfection, however. Joyce's sisters declined interviews, and their absence leaves a significant hole with a lot of untapped potential. It's unclear why they refused involvement, and this aspect remains a huge question mark. It would've been interesting to at least hear how Morley approached them and their reasons for not wanting to present on-camera testimonies.

We'll never know if Dreams of a Life represents a fair portrait of this enigmatic woman, but Joyce is undeniably immortalised through Carol Morley's investigation. One must wonder how many other people exist under similar circumstances. Dreams of a Life is a painful film, yet it's startlingly brilliant, overwhelmingly powerful and very moving. It's a Christmas film with no uplifting message, and it is a documentary of our time that explores our fractured modern society and examines extreme isolation.

8.4/10

"Ah, Christmas. Time for Santa Claus and his eight prancing rein-bear."

Most people reach for The Muppet Christmas Carol as December kicks in (this reviewer included), but it's a shame that more people do not set aside time to watch 1987's A Muppet Family Christmas. In a nutshell, this 45-minute made-for-television special is pure joy in cinematic form, an underrated gem from the golden age of the Muppets that's witty and enjoyable from the first frame till the last. Long-time Muppet fans are destined to love it, and it represents wholesome entertainment for the entire family, guaranteed to make everyone laugh and smile.

As the picture kicks off, Fozzie Bear (Frank Oz) and the rest of the Muppet Show gang are piled in a car on their way to visit Fozzie's mother, Emily (Jerry Nelson), unannounced for a family Christmas. Fozzie is sure that his mother has no plans and that she will be delighted to have company for the jolly holiday. However, Emily is about to leave for a vacation in the tropics, and has rented her warm home to Doc (Gerry Parks) and his dog Sprocket (Steve Whitmire) from Fraggle Rock! When the gang show up, Emily cancels her plans, and things grow wilder and wilder from there. Before long, the Sesame Street gang drop in to join in the festivities while Kermit (Jim Henson) frets over a huge snowstorm that may be dangerous for Miss Piggy (Frank Oz again), who's on her way to the house to celebrate Christmas with everybody.

A Muppet Family Christmas is not burdened with pretences - the filmmakers aim to capture the jolly spirit of Christmas and succeed with aplomb. Its plot is light and flimsy, yet the special provides unbridled joy and wonder. Moreover, A Muppet Family Christmas incorporates all of the characters from Jim Henson's various shows: The Muppet Show, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, and Muppet Babies. Watching the worlds come together and seeing these characters interact is a real treat. It helps if you are already familiar with the various characters, but the special still works if you aren't. And what Muppet production is complete without songs? Fortunately, A Muppet Family Christmas fulfils this requirement. The gang sing delightful original songs (the Muppets are even singing in the very first frame) and Christmas carols, and the result is the very definition of joyous.

Clocking in at around 45 minutes, A Muppet Family Christmas is short, but it's a perfect, briskly-paced showcase of everything we've come to know and love about Henson's fabric creations. Admittedly, this isn't an extravagant production since it looks like it was made in a studio, and various rods attached to the arms of the puppets are visible, but the strong script and lively performances compensate for this. The special is beset with one-liners, sight gags, puns and other quality jokes, including a hilarious poke against Sesame Street and a side-splitting comedy routine involving Fozzie and a snowman (Richard Hunt). Statler (also Hunt) and Waldorf (Henson) even appear, and their heckling yields some of the funniest moments in the entire special. Directors Peter Harris and Eric Till do a marvellous job of capturing the whimsical sensibilities of Henson's characters without becoming overly sentimental or corny.

In the years since its original broadcast, the special has been trimmed due to rights issues regarding various Christmas carols, much to the disappointment and chagrin of Muppet fans. Trust me, A Muppet Family Christmas should only be experienced in its original, complete, uncut form, and the truncated version should be avoided at all costs. Bursting with warmth, fun and humour, A Muppet Family Christmas may lack a coherent story, but it's nevertheless a deliriously entertaining series of sketches and musical numbers guaranteed to bring a smile to one's face. And the Jim Henson cameo at the end of the film tops the whole thing off.

8.5/10

"If your air conditioner goes on the fritz or your washing machine blows up or your video recorder conks out; before you call the repairman turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds, 'cause you never can tell there just might be a gremlin in your house."

A Yuletide-themed horror-comedy, Gremlins continues to endure as an eminently popular holiday mainstay, and it's easy to see why. In 1984, Steven Spielberg was primarily associated with three things: Jaws, E.T. and tremendous box office receipts. Executive produced by Spielberg, Gremlins is fundamentally a merger of all three, and it was one of the first movies to be made by Spielberg's Amblin Entertainment production company. It was released on the same weekend as the original Ghostbusters, and fast developed into somewhat of a phenomenon during its theatrical run. A kids Christmas film which pushed the envelope of what was allowed within the confines of PG-rated family entertainment, it became a hit, grossing in excess of $140 million at the American box office. Gremlins is not perfect, but it's entertaining B-grade fun which has stood the test of time.

In Chinatown, ambitious but incompetent inventor Randall Peltzer (Axton) buys a cute, furry little creature known as a "mogwai" as a Christmas present for his son, Billy (Galligan). Randall is given strict instructions relating to the creature, which he imparts onto Billy: do not give it any water, do not expose it to sunlight, and absolutely do not feed it after midnight. Affectionately calling the mogwai Gizmo, Billy is at first overjoyed by his new pet, but the all-important rules are soon broken. Before long, more mogwai are spawned and they are accidentally fed after midnight, transforming them into dangerous green creatures determined to wreak havoc. On Christmas Eve, the town becomes overrun with nasty gremlins, and it's up to Billy, his girlfriend Kate (Cates) and Gizmo to find a solution.

Gremlins was written by Chris Columbus, and it was actually his very first script to be produced. In the years since, Columbus became a big-time director, with films like Home Alone and Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone to his credit. Surprisingly, the first act of Gremlins feels somewhat like a Charles Dickens story. We're introduced to Billy's gruff old neighbour Mr. Futterman (the legendary Dick Miller) who hates everything foreign and drives a tractor. On top of this, there's an evil, rich old lady who delights in evicting families and generally acts like Ebenezer Scrooge. The set-up begs for a Christmas miracle, but we get something else entirely. It's a sly subversion of the typical feel-good formula, with director Joe Dante plunging the story into the realm of dark comedy and horror.

The biggest fault of Gremlins is one of tone. Dante attempted to mix humour and horror, but he's only moderately successful. Too often, the two tonal extremes cancel each other out - the film isn't scary enough due to the humorous touches, and the comedy is only sporadically effective because the violence and gore is too vivid. Certainly, Gremlins is fun throughout, but numerous moments are too uncomfortably mean-spirited. To the credit of Dante, though, when the film works, it really does work. The fact that he doesn't treat the material as an outright parody is commendable, and the film actually contains a handful of effective dramatic scenes. In one scene, for instance, Kate is drawn into telling Billy a tragic story of what happened one Christmas when she was a little girl. It was a ballsy move to include pathos but it works, thanks in large part to Phoebe Cates' well-judged performance. Meanwhile, Zach Galligan is charming as Billy, and he carries out leading man responsibilities with utmost confidence. Gremlins also features Judge Reinhold in a blink-and-you'll-miss-him cameo role, and a young Corey Feldman playing Billy's young friend Pete.

As perhaps to be expected, Gremlins is a pretty dumb movie. You will have to accept the fact that, while the gremlins are rampaging, nobody grabs a gun or a baseball bat until the closing minutes of the film. Moreover, the mythology behind the mogwai is half-baked, leaving numerous questions unanswered. For example, the mogwai cannot be fed after midnight or else they turn into vicious gremlins, but from midnight until when? Plus, what is it about light, water and food that affects these things? And why don't the gremlins take full advantage of the situation and crazily reproduce to the point that they could take over the entire world?

Executive producer Spielberg's fingerprints are all over the film. By this stage in his career, he had the power to get ample funding for his projects, hence Gremlins was produced for a decent sum. As a result, it contains a number of still-impressive special effects. The gremlins benefit from creative design and competent cinematic techniques which bring them to life, courtesy of effects technician Chris Walas (The Fly) and his talented crew. Gremlins contains several stand-out scenes which nail the intended tone of campy lunacy, including a bar sequence featuring gremlins lampooning typical human behavioural traits: they imitate drunkards, card players, muggers and dancers. It's glorious stuff. Plus, the main theme by Jerry Goldsmith is one of the most memorable pieces of music from the era.

In final analysis, it's hard to dislike Gremlins. It has a flawed script at its foundation and it's too dark at times, but the film remains a frequently enjoyable alternative holiday film, especially when Dante revels in the campy possibilities of the premise.

6.7/10