Reviews by PvtCaboose91

"Kable's the perfect soldier. He's a tactical killing computer. His only vulnerability is the nanex itself; the ping, the delay between Simon's commands and Kable's ability to execute."

Gamer is essentially the Death Race of the videogame world, topped off with a hint of social satire and filtered through the distinct filmmaking lens of Crank masterminds Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. There is a sci-fi twist, however - the gamers of the story do not control artificial avatars in a computer-generated environment, but are instead given full control over real flesh-and-blood human beings. To be sure, Gamer excels when it's locked in frenetic action mode, but the flick is less successful whenever the bloodshed halts, with the half-baked narrative leaving a lot to be desired.

In an unspecified future, virtual reality videogames are enormously popular. Owned by wealthy media mogul Ken Castle (Hall), the videogame Slayers lets players control the body of a death row inmate who's sent into a hellish warzone. The condemned prisoners volunteer to participate in the game, as they are promised their freedom if they survive 30 rounds of violent warfare. One warrior named Kable (Butler) is getting close to earning his freedom, with only a few rounds left to survive before he can return to his family. Knowing that Castle will not easily let him go, Kable asks the gamer who's controlling him, Simon (Lerman), to set him free during a battle. Staging an escape, Kable sets off to find his wife Angie (Valletta), who's a participant in Castle's other virtual reality game, Society. Helping Kable is a controversial group of hackers who called themselves 'Humanz'.

Neveldine and Taylor's script for Gamer is more ambitious than their efforts on the Crank movies. It's a satire which explores society's current love affair with both reality television and interactive videogames like The Sims, World of Warcraft and Second Life. Gamer also recognises that, when online, gamers can become anyone that they want thanks to internet anonymity. This is emphasised by the fact that Kable's attractive wife is seen being controlled by a disgusting fatty. The satire is easy and obvious, to be sure, but it is amusing, and it affords the film some sense of thoughtfulness. Unfortunately, Gamer carries the earmarks of a motion picture that was mangled in the editing room. The film is lean and mean at around 90 minutes in length, leaving no room for any meaningful dramatic growth. Admittedly, this facilitates effective narrative momentum, but it leaves the picture feeling underdone, with the huge cast of familiar faces (Alison Lohman, Keith David, Terry Crews, Ludacris, Milo Ventimiglia and John Leguizamo are all here) all stuck in thankless supporting roles, indicating that they might have formerly been part of a beefier story.

Gamer is at its best whenever the Slayers competitors enter the combat arena. Visually, the film is a home run; the world of Slayers is excellently-designed, with fantastic abandoned environments a perfect setting for plenty of awesome destruction marshalled by veteran action directors Neveldine and Taylor. The action set-pieces peppered throughout the flick are never short of spectacular. Although the photography is often shaky and the editing is a bit on the rapid side, it's still possible to discern what's happening, and the results are enormously exhilarating. As Gamer was shot with Red One cameras, it looks gorgeous and crystal clear, proving that digital photography is here to stay. Also impressive is the depiction of the other virtual reality game, the Sims-like Society. It's a bright, colourful and stylised world of sex, drugs, wigs and dated fashion.

Predictably, acting is terribly average on the whole, with none of the performers projecting enough gravitas or intensity to make for a proper central anchor to latch onto. Gerard Butler gives it his all, but the material renders him forgettable, as his character has no substance to speak of and Butler is just left to spout generic action movie speak. Michael C. Hall (TV's Dexter) embraced the chance to play the villain here, hamming it up to extremes. At one stage he even does a flamboyant song and dance number, for crying out loud. The rest of the cast is strictly 'meh'; Lohman is attractive but unremarkable, Leguizamo has exactly nothing to do, Crews gets an extended cameo at best, and so on.

In final analysis, Gamer is enjoyable as a switch-your-brain-off action fiesta (especially with the R-rated levels of carnage) but it's also frustrating. Neveldine and Taylor introduce a number of interesting concepts and ideas, but they are at odds with the generic storytelling. It's as if Philip K. Dick mapped out the broad strokes, but the fine details were filled in by much less sophisticated writers. Still, Gamer is not the joyless disaster that critics seem to have dismissed it as. Yes, the film could've been a profound sci-fi masterpiece if it ventured deeper below the surface, but it has a bucket-load of excellent action sequences and the hyper-kinetic style ensures that the picture is never boring.

6.5/10

"When the day of quality ends in this country, we'll all be in great trouble indeed."

Rote adaptations of Charles Dickens' 1843 novella A Christmas Carol are a dime a dozen, with a vast amount of filmmakers having produced versions that retain the 19th Century London setting as well as all the proverbial characters. It has been done to death so much that straight retellings are now completely superfluous. Announcing itself to be different via its title, 1979's An American Christmas Carol transplants the classic story to Depression-era America in the 1930s, retaining Dickens' core story elements and thematic principles while putting a new name and face on the old tale.

Standing in for Ebenezer Scrooge is curmudgeonly businessman Benedict Slade (Winkler). Set in New Hampshire in 1933, Slade spends his Christmas Eve driving around town with his assistant, Mr. Thatcher (Thomson), out to heartlessly repossess goods and properties from the less fortunate. Thatcher is fired after questioning Slade's bitter behaviour, forcing him to return to his family with bad news and a bleak outlook for his sickly young son Jonathan (Cragg). Alone on the night before Christmas, Slade is visited by the spirit of deceased business partner Jack Latham (Pogue) who warns Slade about what the afterlife may hold for him. Throughout the night, Slade is then visited by several more apparitions who guide him through his past, present and potential future, hoping to make him see the error of his ways and perhaps persuade him to fix his life before he meets with a lonely death.

Wisely, writer Jerome Coopersmith did not simply copy and paste the highlights of A Christmas Carol into the 1930s setting. An American Christmas Carol disposes of the ancient Dickens dialogue, and, though the story is essentially the same, not every scene or character is given an equivalent here. In fact, some of the most memorable moments and passages were done away with; Slade doesn't even use the phrase "humbug" at any point. Coopersmith also worked to make certain aspects of the story relevant in its new setting. For instance, instead of growling at people seeking donations for the orphanage, Slade warmly invites them into his business and gifts them with leaflets containing advice about self-reliance and financial responsibility. In spite of the changes, the movie still upholds the spirit of Dickens' story to the letter, effectively reinforcing the relevant messages of the source material.

Director Eric Till (A Muppet Family Christmas) has a talent for storytelling, as An American Christmas Carol is well-paced and at times absorbing. The flick's greatest success is its trip into Slade's past. This particular section of the narrative is meaty and engaging, with the script borrowing elements of Ebenezer Scrooge's recognisable past but ultimately providing a fresh-feeling background for Slade that's relevant to both the period and the setting. However, An American Christmas Carol is a made-for-television movie, and this is often obvious. Although production values are usually impressive and the flick was lensed in 35mm film, the cinematography lacks flair, giving the film a flat and basic appearance. Added to this, there is not a single attempt to make the ghosts look like anything other than regular people, hence this adaptation is at no point frightening or dark enough. Plus, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is an African American in '70s fashion, which seems somewhat corny and makes the picture look dated.

An American Christmas Carol was produced in 1979, at the height of Fonzie-mania. Henry Winkler was renowned and recognised for played Fonzie in Happy Days, hence the actor wanted to feature in more projects that would help him live down the Fonzie image and show he that was more than just a leather jacket and a catchphrase. In the role of wealthy Scrooge-esque businessman Benedict Slade, Winkler is a mixed bag. He fares best in the scenes of Slade's past since he looks more at ease with the role and his face isn't obscured by make-up. As elderly Slade, however, Winkler is not quite convincing. The make-up is strictly okay, and Winkler has trouble effectively selling himself as an old man. His mannerisms are half-baked, while his voice sounds forced and youthful. At times the illusion works, but for the most part Winkler's performance is underwhelming.

An American Christmas Carol probably seems pointless, especially since a number of excellent A Christmas Carol adaptations are readily available. Nevertheless, this American retelling is worth a watch. Even though the film's final resolution is completely predictable and the story's messages have grown trite, this production tells the story well, and it's interesting to see how the filmmakers handled the change from England to America.

6.8/10

"My dear Frodo, you asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. Well, I can honestly say I've told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it."

Following up Peter Jackson's groundbreaking The Lord of the Rings trilogy with a film adaptation of The Hobbit was always going to be a tricky proposition. Whereas The Lord of the Rings is a dense, dark and mature fantasy epic, J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit is a children's book with a light tone and a simplistic narrative. Hence, any fans of Jackson's trilogy expecting The Hobbit to be similarly gritty and expansive will be disappointed. Plus, you will need to accept the fact that The Hobbit was never going to be as good as LOTR - Jackson's Rings was a once-in-a-lifetime achievement that can never be equalled or topped in terms of sheer excellence, charm or emotional impact. If you can suitably adjust your expectations, however, 2012's The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is a solid return to Middle-earth; a damn good fantasy adventure that's funny, fun and visually succulent.

In the Lonely Mountains, the treasure-filled dwarf kingdom of Erebor is overtaken by the dragon Smaug, forcing the dwarves to abandon their home. Set 60 years before the events of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, An Unexpected Journey concerns humble Hobbit Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), who's suddenly visited by the wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellen) and thirteen dwarves led by the great Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage). The company is on a quest to reclaim Erebor, and are on the lookout for a small, stealthy thief to join the team. Although initially reluctant, Bilbo agrees to be the dwarves' burglar, leaving the comfort of his warm home as he sets out into the perilous world of Middle-earth. Thrust into the adventure, Bilbo encounters trolls and Orcs, as well as the cave of the creature Gollum where he finds the infamous One Ring…

Tolkien's Lord of the Rings novels ran for a total of 1500 pages and thus needed to be extensively truncated for the screen, but The Hobbit is a meagre 300 pages long, compelling Jackson and his co-writers (Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens and original director Guillermo del Toro) to extend the slender kid's book to produce a prequel trilogy. Rather than simply padding everything out, the writers mined material from Tolkien's other works, further delving into certain characters and establishing additional connections to the LOTR universe. Cynical critics are destined to bash the trilogy notion as a cash-grab, and whine and moan that An Unexpected Journey feels too padded out, but the film actually works. It may be easy to call the film overlong but I cannot think of any scene or dialogue exchange that should be removed. Running at 160 minutes, the film has breathing room for proper character development and dramatic growth, two aspects of which are crucial in a story with so many protagonists. An Unexpected Journey is inherently tied to the events of The Fellowship of the Ring as well. The tale is framed around elderly Bilbo (Ian Holm) writing his memoirs while preparations for his 111th birthday party are well underway. To further the prequel angle, An Unexpected Journey is not solely concerned with the dwarves setting out to reclaim their home - there's a side story involving Gandalf investigating the possibility of Sauron's impending return.

Bilbo is initially anxious about leaving The Shire and he doesn't feel a sense of belonging with the dwarves, but he gradually develops into a man of courage and confidence, and his originally pessimistic companions grow to accept the Halfling as one of their own. This character arc gives the picture a degree of heart and emotion, two aspects which made The Lord of the Rings so excellent. Another tremendous benefit of An Unexpected Journey is the colourful and lively dialogue, not to mention the picture's wonderful sense of humour. The comedy does not feel cheap, however, but rather a natural extension of the dwarves' personalities as well as the nature of dwarves in general. The reintroduction of Gollum (Andy Serkis) is another huge plus. The return of this cult favourite comes at just the right time, and his game of riddles with Bilbo provides a delightful scene of character interaction that's every bit as exciting as the large-scale battles. Gollum looks astonishingly realistic here, highly detailed and with plenty of facial nuance courtesy of Serkis' expectedly brilliant motion capture performance that's incredibly entertaining to watch. Anyone who has read The Hobbit (this reviewer included) will be stoked with Jackson's cinematic treatment of some of the book's most iconic scenes.

Jackson started his career in low-budget cinema, forcing him to make the most of every dollar and focus on intensity rather than pure effects overload. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is a CGI bonanza, yet the film is also genuinely exciting and at times nail-biting. The decade separating The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit has yielded enormous technological advancements; Jackson's WETA Workshop have raised the bar yet again, providing some of the most vibrant and stunning digital effects glimpsed in a motion picture this year. A few creatures admittedly look a bit too glossy and digital, however, and one feels that the creatures should've been brought to life using the incredible make-up effects which made the Uruk-hai in LOTR so memorable. Still, it's often difficult to discern where the live-action halts and the CGI begins. Plus, location shooting plays a huge part in the production, with the expansive landscapes of New Zealand providing gorgeous vistas and with intricate set construction breathing amazing life into Tolkien's visions.

Due to the decision to shoot digitally, An Unexpected Journey carries a different cinematic look, though the colour timing is reminiscent of LOTR. Cinematographer Andrew Lesnie also shot The Hobbit in 3-D in 48 frames per second (as opposed to the traditional 24fps) to give the experience a hyper-realistic look. The 48fps aspect will be polarising; for this reviewer, it was uniquely enthralling and the 3-D effects are extremely impressive. Watching An Unexpected Journey in 48fps 3-D is breathtaking, but it is equally effective in regular 2-D at 24fps, which is actually the preferred method of viewing since it feels more in keeping with the LOTR trilogy. The whole thing is topped off with Howard Shore's score, which is just as flavoursome and engaging as his work on The Lord of the Rings.

With over a decade having passed since the filming of The Lord of the Rings, returning actors look unusually older even though they're meant to be 60 years younger. It's not hugely problematic per se, but Ian Holm does not quite look the same as he did in The Fellowship of the Ring, and Elijah Wood's cameo takes you out of the film because of his aging. Moreover, while McKellen remains an excellent Gandalf, he too looks much older, and it's disappointing that make-up did not rectify this. In spite of this, performances are incredible right down the line. Martin Freeman is Bilbo Baggins. He does not simply play the part, he embodies it, and absolutely no-one else could've tackled this character. Another standout is Richard Armitage as Thorin, a dwarf both badass and charismatic who makes a huge impression as the company's leader. There are a lot of extra dwarves populating the background, only some of which stand out. My favourite was Irishman James Nesbitt (from the miniseries Jekyll), who's funny and energetic as Bofur.

It's difficult to be disappointed with The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. It takes a little while to get going, but the picture truly takes off after the first hour, providing exceptional battle scenes and well-judged character interaction. It's good old-fashioned adventure epic fun, and it shows that Peter Jackson still has a gift for telling stories in this world. An Unexpected Journey is a wonderful return to Middle-earth and a breathtaking opener for this new trilogy. It's nothing short of a miracle that The Hobbit was even made after being so extensively delayed, so it's fortunate that this first part doesn't suck. Bring on the next two instalments!

9.2/10

On one grim day in April 2006, housing officers entered the apartment of Joyce Vincent in Wood Green, London, to follow up on the thousands of pounds she owed in rent. There, the investigators found Joyce's corpse slumped on the sofa, where she had lain dead for two-and-a-half years, so long that her body had severely decomposed, making it impossible to determine the cause of death. Christmas presents she'd just wrapped surrounded Joyce, and her television was still on. Shockingly, Joyce was not a shut-in senior citizen, nor did she take drugs or drink alcohol. Instead, she was a sexy, sociable 38-year-old woman with sisters, a string of former lovers, and various friends and work colleagues. How could her death have gone unnoticed? How could Joyce have been so isolated? It is a story that's heartbreaking, depressing and horrific, and it lingers in one's mind.

When filmmaker Carol Morley read about Joyce's death in the newspaper, she was shocked that the article revealed nothing about Joyce's life. It didn't even include a photo! Curious, Morley met with councillors and journalists in the Wood Green area but failed to find the answers she sought. Subsequently, Morley ran ads in newspapers and on taxis seeking Joyce's friends, family and acquaintances, hoping to cobble together their testimonies and piece together Joyce's life preceding her lonely death. Dreams of a Life is the product of Morley's hard work. An achingly poignant docudrama, the film comprises interviews with people connected to Joyce, who talk about her at great length. Morley intersperses the interviews with staged reconstructions featuring actor Zawe Ashton playing Joyce. Through the picture, Morley sets out to build a portrait of this woman, and she asks several provocative questions about sexual politics and the society that let Joyce down.

In the 21st Century, living off the grid is practically impossible. Cameras watch almost everything we do, we have rent and bills to pay, we (should) keep in constant contact with numerous people close to us, and so on. It's unthinkable that such a vibrant young woman as Joyce could go missing for almost three years without anybody realising. Any one of us would be heartbroken if we were deemed so expendable that nobody would notice our death, but as Morley digs deeper into the mystery, heart-wrenching testimonies explain that Joyce may need to shoulder some of the blame. She was not antisocial, but she was somewhat of a difficult person, moving from place to place without notice, ignoring calls from her family, and pushing people away from her, to the extent that her friends simply assumed she was off having a better life than them when she was, in fact, lying dead in her bedsit. It's a heartbreaking story, and it is all the more poignant as everything comes into focus.

The dramatic reenactments of Joyce's life add exceptional dimension and power to the picture. Morley does not stage the type of cheesy reconstruction scenes one sees in crime shows, nor does she show images of Joyce's decomposing skeleton or anything similarly morbid. Instead, the reenactments display tasteful imagination and interpretation, underscoring accounts of the person that Joyce was before her premature death. As played by Ashton, Joyce is brought back to life as a vibrant, bubbly and popular woman full of warmth and exuberance, yet certain scenes convey that Joyce was ultimately an enigma, as emphasised by the often contradictory accounts from Morley's interviewees. Joyce was also a budding singer, and Morley was able to dig up some of the very few recordings she left behind. When played, these recordings send a chill down your spine.

Morley's primary focus is on the extreme isolation of the documentary's heroine. Dreams of a Life is, at its core, a searing celluloid poem about loneliness; more specifically, it's about the type of loneliness that occurs in a large city. London is often considered a bustling metropolis, yet Morley paints a vision of London as an emotional wasteland where singles live unhappy lives in small flats. Dreams of a Life falls short of perfection, however. Joyce's sisters declined interviews, and their absence leaves a significant hole with a lot of untapped potential. It's unclear why they refused involvement, and this aspect remains a huge question mark. It would've been interesting to at least hear how Morley approached them and their reasons for not wanting to present on-camera testimonies.

We'll never know if Dreams of a Life represents a fair portrait of this enigmatic woman, but Joyce is undeniably immortalised through Carol Morley's investigation. One must wonder how many other people exist under similar circumstances. Dreams of a Life is a painful film, yet it's startlingly brilliant, overwhelmingly powerful and very moving. It's a Christmas film with no uplifting message, and it is a documentary of our time that explores our fractured modern society and examines extreme isolation.

8.4/10

"Ah, Christmas. Time for Santa Claus and his eight prancing rein-bear."

Most people reach for The Muppet Christmas Carol as December kicks in (this reviewer included), but it's a shame that more people do not set aside time to watch 1987's A Muppet Family Christmas. In a nutshell, this 45-minute made-for-television special is pure joy in cinematic form, an underrated gem from the golden age of the Muppets that's witty and enjoyable from the first frame till the last. Long-time Muppet fans are destined to love it, and it represents wholesome entertainment for the entire family, guaranteed to make everyone laugh and smile.

As the picture kicks off, Fozzie Bear (Frank Oz) and the rest of the Muppet Show gang are piled in a car on their way to visit Fozzie's mother, Emily (Jerry Nelson), unannounced for a family Christmas. Fozzie is sure that his mother has no plans and that she will be delighted to have company for the jolly holiday. However, Emily is about to leave for a vacation in the tropics, and has rented her warm home to Doc (Gerry Parks) and his dog Sprocket (Steve Whitmire) from Fraggle Rock! When the gang show up, Emily cancels her plans, and things grow wilder and wilder from there. Before long, the Sesame Street gang drop in to join in the festivities while Kermit (Jim Henson) frets over a huge snowstorm that may be dangerous for Miss Piggy (Frank Oz again), who's on her way to the house to celebrate Christmas with everybody.

A Muppet Family Christmas is not burdened with pretences - the filmmakers aim to capture the jolly spirit of Christmas and succeed with aplomb. Its plot is light and flimsy, yet the special provides unbridled joy and wonder. Moreover, A Muppet Family Christmas incorporates all of the characters from Jim Henson's various shows: The Muppet Show, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, and Muppet Babies. Watching the worlds come together and seeing these characters interact is a real treat. It helps if you are already familiar with the various characters, but the special still works if you aren't. And what Muppet production is complete without songs? Fortunately, A Muppet Family Christmas fulfils this requirement. The gang sing delightful original songs (the Muppets are even singing in the very first frame) and Christmas carols, and the result is the very definition of joyous.

Clocking in at around 45 minutes, A Muppet Family Christmas is short, but it's a perfect, briskly-paced showcase of everything we've come to know and love about Henson's fabric creations. Admittedly, this isn't an extravagant production since it looks like it was made in a studio, and various rods attached to the arms of the puppets are visible, but the strong script and lively performances compensate for this. The special is beset with one-liners, sight gags, puns and other quality jokes, including a hilarious poke against Sesame Street and a side-splitting comedy routine involving Fozzie and a snowman (Richard Hunt). Statler (also Hunt) and Waldorf (Henson) even appear, and their heckling yields some of the funniest moments in the entire special. Directors Peter Harris and Eric Till do a marvellous job of capturing the whimsical sensibilities of Henson's characters without becoming overly sentimental or corny.

In the years since its original broadcast, the special has been trimmed due to rights issues regarding various Christmas carols, much to the disappointment and chagrin of Muppet fans. Trust me, A Muppet Family Christmas should only be experienced in its original, complete, uncut form, and the truncated version should be avoided at all costs. Bursting with warmth, fun and humour, A Muppet Family Christmas may lack a coherent story, but it's nevertheless a deliriously entertaining series of sketches and musical numbers guaranteed to bring a smile to one's face. And the Jim Henson cameo at the end of the film tops the whole thing off.

8.5/10

"If your air conditioner goes on the fritz or your washing machine blows up or your video recorder conks out; before you call the repairman turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds, 'cause you never can tell there just might be a gremlin in your house."

A Yuletide-themed horror-comedy, Gremlins continues to endure as an eminently popular holiday mainstay, and it's easy to see why. In 1984, Steven Spielberg was primarily associated with three things: Jaws, E.T. and tremendous box office receipts. Executive produced by Spielberg, Gremlins is fundamentally a merger of all three, and it was one of the first movies to be made by Spielberg's Amblin Entertainment production company. It was released on the same weekend as the original Ghostbusters, and fast developed into somewhat of a phenomenon during its theatrical run. A kids Christmas film which pushed the envelope of what was allowed within the confines of PG-rated family entertainment, it became a hit, grossing in excess of $140 million at the American box office. Gremlins is not perfect, but it's entertaining B-grade fun which has stood the test of time.

In Chinatown, ambitious but incompetent inventor Randall Peltzer (Axton) buys a cute, furry little creature known as a "mogwai" as a Christmas present for his son, Billy (Galligan). Randall is given strict instructions relating to the creature, which he imparts onto Billy: do not give it any water, do not expose it to sunlight, and absolutely do not feed it after midnight. Affectionately calling the mogwai Gizmo, Billy is at first overjoyed by his new pet, but the all-important rules are soon broken. Before long, more mogwai are spawned and they are accidentally fed after midnight, transforming them into dangerous green creatures determined to wreak havoc. On Christmas Eve, the town becomes overrun with nasty gremlins, and it's up to Billy, his girlfriend Kate (Cates) and Gizmo to find a solution.

Gremlins was written by Chris Columbus, and it was actually his very first script to be produced. In the years since, Columbus became a big-time director, with films like Home Alone and Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone to his credit. Surprisingly, the first act of Gremlins feels somewhat like a Charles Dickens story. We're introduced to Billy's gruff old neighbour Mr. Futterman (the legendary Dick Miller) who hates everything foreign and drives a tractor. On top of this, there's an evil, rich old lady who delights in evicting families and generally acts like Ebenezer Scrooge. The set-up begs for a Christmas miracle, but we get something else entirely. It's a sly subversion of the typical feel-good formula, with director Joe Dante plunging the story into the realm of dark comedy and horror.

The biggest fault of Gremlins is one of tone. Dante attempted to mix humour and horror, but he's only moderately successful. Too often, the two tonal extremes cancel each other out - the film isn't scary enough due to the humorous touches, and the comedy is only sporadically effective because the violence and gore is too vivid. Certainly, Gremlins is fun throughout, but numerous moments are too uncomfortably mean-spirited. To the credit of Dante, though, when the film works, it really does work. The fact that he doesn't treat the material as an outright parody is commendable, and the film actually contains a handful of effective dramatic scenes. In one scene, for instance, Kate is drawn into telling Billy a tragic story of what happened one Christmas when she was a little girl. It was a ballsy move to include pathos but it works, thanks in large part to Phoebe Cates' well-judged performance. Meanwhile, Zach Galligan is charming as Billy, and he carries out leading man responsibilities with utmost confidence. Gremlins also features Judge Reinhold in a blink-and-you'll-miss-him cameo role, and a young Corey Feldman playing Billy's young friend Pete.

As perhaps to be expected, Gremlins is a pretty dumb movie. You will have to accept the fact that, while the gremlins are rampaging, nobody grabs a gun or a baseball bat until the closing minutes of the film. Moreover, the mythology behind the mogwai is half-baked, leaving numerous questions unanswered. For example, the mogwai cannot be fed after midnight or else they turn into vicious gremlins, but from midnight until when? Plus, what is it about light, water and food that affects these things? And why don't the gremlins take full advantage of the situation and crazily reproduce to the point that they could take over the entire world?

Executive producer Spielberg's fingerprints are all over the film. By this stage in his career, he had the power to get ample funding for his projects, hence Gremlins was produced for a decent sum. As a result, it contains a number of still-impressive special effects. The gremlins benefit from creative design and competent cinematic techniques which bring them to life, courtesy of effects technician Chris Walas (The Fly) and his talented crew. Gremlins contains several stand-out scenes which nail the intended tone of campy lunacy, including a bar sequence featuring gremlins lampooning typical human behavioural traits: they imitate drunkards, card players, muggers and dancers. It's glorious stuff. Plus, the main theme by Jerry Goldsmith is one of the most memorable pieces of music from the era.

In final analysis, it's hard to dislike Gremlins. It has a flawed script at its foundation and it's too dark at times, but the film remains a frequently enjoyable alternative holiday film, especially when Dante revels in the campy possibilities of the premise.

6.7/10

"It was for your welfare that I made this visit, Ebenezer Scrooge..."

It's borderline impossible to make a bad movie out of Charles Dickens' 1843 novella A Christmas Carol. A bona fide classic which has been adapted countless times for films and television shows, Dickens' story is equipped with rich characters, an evocative setting, valuable messages and wonderful sentiment. Produced by MGM, 1938's A Christmas Carol was the first high-gloss, big-budget (for the period) cinematic treatment of the source material. Nimble and powerful, this adaptation was the definitive film version of Dickens' parable for over a decade. Though superior versions have been produced over the years, this A Christmas Carol remains an undisputed classic with plenty to recommend.

In the unlikely event that you've forgotten the story of A Christmas Carol, it concerns rich old coot Ebenezer Scrooge (Owen), who detests the notion of peace and goodwill. He especially hates Christmas, perceiving the jolly festive holiday as an unwanted hindrance to his business. Returning home on one Christmas Eve after sacking his long-suffering clerk Bob Cratchit (Lockhart), the ghost of Scrooge's former business partner Jacob Marley (Carroll) presents himself to Scrooge. Marley warns Scrooge that he must change his ways to redeem his soul, and explains that he will be visited by three spirits - the Ghost of Christmas Past (Rutherford), Christmas Present (Braham) and Christmas Future (Corrigan) - who aim to help Scrooge reform and persuade him away from a life of greed and ill temper.

Screenwriter Hugo Butler palpably understood that a rote cinematic adaptation of a literary source rarely works, and hence altered aspects of Dickens' novella to terrific effect. For instance, Scrooge's nephew Fred is given more dimension and presence, Cratchit is actually sacked by Scrooge on Christmas Eve, Scrooge alerts the police about Marley's ghostly presence, and the closing Christmas Day festivities are a little different. Such additions and alterations give the picture its own unique voice, and, more importantly, they allow the film to stand apart from the dozens of other adaptations that have been produced in the decades since this version. However, a few key elements are excluded entirely to detrimental effect, such as Scrooge's former fiancée and old Fezziwig's party. As a result, this Christmas Carol feels underdone. Clocking in at a slim 69 minutes, the film rushes through the material, seldom allowing sufficient dramatic growth and consequently making Scrooge's arc feel unearned. Indeed, Scrooge begins repenting too soon, abandoning his miserly ways almost immediately without sufficient motivation. The picture lacks a key scene which clearly affects Scrooge in a substantial way.

A critical aspect of any adaptation of A Christmas Carol is its atmosphere and mood. Luckily, this version for the most part gets these characteristics right. Director Edwin L. Marin and his team did a remarkable job of recreating bustling 19th Century London. Production design is laudable, with storefronts and streets that look entirely convincing, supplemented with Yuletide decorations and crowds of laughing children and merry onlookers. However, while Marin nails the jolly Christmas atmosphere, he unfortunately downplays the spookiness of the film's ghostly elements. Scenes featuring the spirits contain a few still-impressive special effects shots, but it's clear that Marin was catering to family audiences, particularly during scenes featuring the ostensibly foreboding Ghost of Christmas Future which are decidedly tame.

This A Christmas Carol was actually conceived for actor Lionel Barrymore, who had played Scrooge in a popular annual radio broadcast and was hired to recreate the role on film. However, the actor began to suffer major health problems, compelling him to bow out of the picture a few weeks before filming. To replace him, the actor suggested his friend Reginald Owen, and the rest is history. Although he's not the best Scrooge, Owen's performance is commendable; he looks the part, he's appropriately menacing in the film's early stages, and his performance at no point feels contrived. Meanwhile, Barry Mackay is a delightful Fred, playing the role as an irresistibly happy chap with a fiancée who enjoys sliding on ice and playing in the snow like a schoolboy. Since Fred has a heightened presence here, it's a huge benefit that Mackay is so charismatic. Almost stealing the show, though, are Gene Lockhart as Bob Cratchit, and Gene's real-life wife Kathleen as Mrs. Cratchit. The two supply warmth and Christmas cheer, and remain eminently watchable. To top things off, their daughter June plays one of the Cratchit children. The only real weak link is Terry Kilburn as Tiny Tim. At 12, Kilburn looks too old for the role, not to mention he's strangely effeminate. Worst of all, he doesn't look sick or dying; he makes Tim look like a kid who just broke his leg.

Despite its shortcomings, 1938's A Christmas Carol is a solid versions of this classic Yuletide morality tale. For a '30s movie it's surprisingly accessible, and there's little wonder why so many people have ingratiated this picture into their annual Christmastime traditions.

7.6/10

"Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked."

Die Hard consistently ranks highly on lists of favourite "alternative" Christmas films (and Christmas movies in general), but it's not the only Yuletide-themed action movie that deserves your attention. Directed by Richard Donner (Superman: The Movie, The Omen) and released in 1987, Lethal Weapon is a bona fide '80s action gem, a skilfully mounted buddy cop action-adventure laced with razor-sharp dialogue, memorable characters and entertaining bursts of R-rated action. Lethal Weapon may not have invented or revolutionised the buddy cop or action-comedy genres, but it refined both of them - it shows that execution is more important, and well-worn genre formulas can still work in the right hands. Moreover, on top of being a remarkable late '80s action picture, the film introduces a pair of memorable central characters.

A veteran of the Los Angeles Police Department, Sergeant Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) begins eying retirement as he draws closer to celebrating his 50th birthday. When a sexy model is found dead after an apparent suicide from jumping off her apartment balcony, Murtaugh is pulled into the case and partnered with loose canon Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) to investigate. Owing to the untimely death of his wife, Riggs is a suicidal hothead; half the police force thinks Riggs is crazy, while the other half believes he's trying to earn a psycho pension. Developing a hesitant friendship, the two find themselves tracking a pair of dangerous drug smugglers, and the "suicide" turns out to be a murder case that's far more complicated than initially imagined.

Donner and screenwriter Shane Black (The Last Boy Scout, The Long Kiss Goodnight) clearly know their audience, as Lethal Weapon caters to the action crowd in a tremendously satisfying fashion. In the very first scene, the film provides a smattering of drugs, boobs and violence. It's one hell of a way to set the tone, and the rest of the picture easily lives up to this promise. Undoubtedly, the film works as well as it does thanks in large part to Black's screenplay. Black's contributions are often overlooked since the production is practically faultless from top to bottom, but the excellence of this script cannot be overstated. The dialogue is consistently engaging and witty, and Black mixes the humour and action with tender character development and moments of pathos. It also indulges in the writer's love of Christmas, which is evident in many of his films. While the still-good but inferior Lethal Weapon sequels primarily rely on set-pieces and are driven by their respective cop cases, this first instalment is driven by the personal journeys of these characters, affording depth and humanity to what could've just been an enjoyable but forgettable distraction. It goes without saying that the narrative is standard-order, but the execution is remarkable, and that's what truly matters.

Fortunately, for all of its character dramatics, Lethal Weapon does not skimp on the pyrotechnics. Ever the blockbuster veteran, Donner orchestrates a string of magnificent action set-pieces and conflicts scattered throughout the narrative, embracing the possibilities of the picture's R rating. Action was arguably at its pinnacle during the 1980s, and Lethal Weapon is a solid reinforcement of this opinion, with its fluid camerawork and crisp editing easily surpassing many of today's big-budget pretenders. However, the film does have its dumb moments. In the final sequence, for example, Riggs decides not to simply arrest the bad guy but have a punch-up with him instead while dozens of police officers stand around watching. It's an entertaining fight, to be sure, but the foundation is a bit shaky, and it feels like the only time in the film that action is being forced. For the record, the extended director's cut is this reviewer's preferred version. Some may find it too long, but the additional scenes deserve a place in the picture, providing extra action, a few extra laughs, and added character depth.

While Lethal Weapon is vehemently a buddy movie, it's very much Mel Gibson's party. Back in 1987, Mel was a rising star adored by the industry and by audiences, and it's easy to see why: he's a fantastic actor. Martin Riggs's introductory scene alone features some of the finest moments in Gibson's career. The star's intensity is extraordinary, and he balances depression with superb comic timing and edgy energy. His emotional outbursts are unexpectedly powerful, as well. One pivotal scene depicts Riggs contemplating suicide, sobbing as he sticks a gun into his mouth before realising that he can't do it. Gibson's acting in this scene is riveting, showing how much this guy genuinely deserves an Oscar for his acting skills. Likewise, Glover could have turned Roger Murtaugh into a one-note bore, but the actor creates a complex, devoted family man, and he matches Gibson step-for-step. The chemistry between Glover and Gibson is absolutely killer - it's hard to think of any male/female relationships in romantic comedies that click as brilliantly as these two. Watching Glover and Gibson trade witty banter is an absolute pleasure. Lethal Weapon also benefits from including Gary Busey as Mr. Joshua, the main villain's henchman. Busey is a fine actor who's as entertaining on the screen as he is off-camera, and he makes for a top-notch bad guy.

Like most action franchises, the Lethal Weapon series is somewhat tarnished by its sequels. Although the sequels are entertaining enough, four movies is pushing it. As the series progressed, things became more action-oriented, and the tone veered more into the comedic realm. On the other hand, this first film nails the mix of action and comedy, with Donner shifting between the two tonal extremes with utmost dexterity. The film is a godsend for action fans, but more casual movie fans will also find a lot to like due to how thoroughly enjoyable it is. And I don't know about you, but I'll always be watching this one come Christmas Eve.

9.2/10

"We are standing on the biggest burial mountain in the world..."

Over the years, filmmakers have inundated us with movies depicting Santa Claus as a jolly old fat man who delivers presents to all the boys and girls around the world. However, 2010's contentedly macabre Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale proposes that this fictionalised "Coca-Cola Santa" was invented to cover up who Santa really was: a horrifying, horned half-man/half-beast. A sort of Finnish-made Gremlins for the 21st Century, this tremendously peculiar horror/fantasy/dark comedy presents an entirely original take on the Christmas mythos, representing the perfect antithesis to the type of traditional holiday films to which we have become accustomed (and have grown sick of). Even if the picture only scratches the surface of its marvellous central premise, Rare Exports is destined to become an annual Yuletide staple for several households.

Single father Rauno Kontio (Jorma Tommila) lives in the shadow of the Korvatunturi Mountains in Finland with his son Pietari (Onni Tommila), and relies on the yearly migration of the reindeer for food and money. When a clandestine American-led dig commences in the mountains, strange things begin to occur - an entire reindeer herd is found slaughtered, radiators are stolen, and kids go missing. Frightened yet curious, Pietari sets out to conduct research, and uncovers the origins of the real Santa Claus who may have been awakened from his icy tomb by the American excavators. It isn't long before a bizarre old man is caught in Rauno's wolf trap who fits the description of Santa. With Christmas rapidly approaching, Pietari is horrified about what's to come.

Rare Exports contains very few typical Christmas movie customs. There's no holiday music or gift giving here, as writer-director Jalmari Helander sought to portray a more unsentimental version of the festive season, and he takes the idea of a malevolent Santa Claus rather seriously. It would've been easy for Helander to have created either a straight comedy or a run-of-the-mill slasher flick out of this silly premise, but Helander instead treats the premise as reality, making it easy to get immersed in this frightening fantasy. Rare Exports is somewhat moronic, but Helander plays everything with a brilliant poker face, incorporating pathos, character development, genuine stakes, and even a few scenes of impressive spectacle. It's an odd cocktail but it works, yielding a terrifically alternative Christmas flick that's more Brothers Grimm than Rankin-Bass which criss-crosses genres with utmost elegance.

The flick is based on two popular short films from 2003 and 2005 which were written and directed by Helander. Expanding a short to feature-length is a tricky proposition, hence Rare Exports runs a mere 80 minutes, with Helander working to ensure the picture doesn't outstay its welcome. The film still feels a tad stretched out from time to time, but sluggish patches are thankfully few and far between. Rare Exports was produced for a rather small sum, yet it never looks cheap and it excels in terms of visuals and atmosphere. Director of photography Mika Orasmaa is a huge asset - his cinematography is skilfully dark and moody, giving genuine majesty to the expansive Finnish snow-scapes. Towards the end of the film, though, a revelation hints that things are about to skyrocket to an entirely new level, but Helander seems to baulk. It ultimately feels like a tease, closing the picture on somewhat of a damp squib. Ditto for the elves, who don't entirely fulfil their potential. It would seem that the budget likely prevented certain things from transpiring, which is a shame.

Quality child actors are rare, but Onni Tommila is a terrific little performer, perfect for the role of Pietari. Onni ably balances fear and determination, and he always seems 100% committed to the material, no matter how outlandish it is. He's a solid entry point into the film for viewers. The best relationship in the film is between Pietari and his father, played by Onni's real-life dad Jorma Tommila. Jorma exhibits a strong mixture of fatherly warmth and stern frustration, and his interactions with Onni carry a warm, believable edge. Also great is Rauno Juvonen, who oozes cool and whimsical charm as Piiparinen.

Though the climax feels a tad underdone, Rare Exports closes on a high note, with a satirical (and cynical) commentary on the global commercialism of Christmas. Fortunately, Helander refuses to sell out with a treacly-laden conclusion; instead, the flick is dark right through to its ending. Rare Exports is not perfect, but it's exceptionally audacious, with a story balancing warmth, horror and deadpan dark humour, making it well worth your time if you're sick of heart-warming Christmas cheer. Without a doubt, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale will not work for everyone, but it comes highly recommended for anyone seeking to watch a truly unique and offbeat movie destined to become a cult classic.

7.3/10

"People just do the strangest things when they believe they're entitled. But they do even stranger things when they just plain believe."

Following a career of profane comedies and light-hearted relationship dramas, Kevin Smith moves into darker territory with 2011's Red State. A jarring mishmash of horror and action supplemented with satire, the film is morally repugnant and unbelievably incoherent, ushering in a different side of Smith that I hope to never see again. Critics often describe films as being "schizophrenic," but the term is overused and now comes off as pretentious. Red State, though, undoubtedly earns the label: it's schizophrenic to extremes. In a notorious move, Smith fostered a lot of interest in the film by purchasing the distribution rights himself and screening the film during a multi-city tour which also included Q&A sessions and memorabilia auctions. Indeed, Red State developed into more of an event than just a film. Unfortunately, however, the finished product is stunningly underwhelming, to the extent that it feels like a bad joke on the part of Smith.

In the South, three randy teenage boys - Jarod (Gallner), Travis (Angarano) and Billy-Ray (Braun) - begin using the internet to find easy sex, and organise to hook up with a mysterious woman (Leo) who lives near their hometown. What the boys fail to realise, though, is that they are being set up by a controversial group of extreme fundamentalists who detest homosexuals. Presided over by the psychotic sermon-spouting patriarch Abin Cooper (Parks), the boys are drugged and bound, with the pastor looking to ritualistically murder them all before his congregation. However, a group of ATF agents led by Joseph Keenan (Goodman) arrive at Cooper's compound with orders to move in and slaughter everyone inside.

Why exactly were these young teenagers chosen for ritual execution? Blown if I know. The church are vehemently anti-homosexual, yet they want to kill a bunch of kids who were attracted to the notion of pussy? It's mildly suggested that the church abhors sexual deviancy, but the film fails to touch upon this notion in any considerable fashion, and there's absolutely no motivation. Not to think too deeply into Smith's thinking, but it sets off alarm bells that the writer-director refused to insert gay protagonists into this story about a church of homophobes.

It's clear that Smith's primary objective with Red State was satire, but his ambitions far outweigh his abilities. The film initially sets its sights on religious fundamentalists who fool themselves into believing that they can commit unspeakable acts in the lord's name. To Smith's credit, the religious satire is actually spot-on, with Smith staging a number of nail-bitingly tense and frightening sequences. But Smith soon progresses the story into, well, another movie entirely. Suddenly, Red State dissolves into a mindless action flick which is so tonally schizophrenic that you may get whiplash. Smith's satiric target becomes the American government, reinforcing the tired message that Americans are terrible at handling terrorist situations. But whereas the religious satire was mature and effective, the governmental material relies on outright slapstick, dumb theatrics and predictable throwaway lines, as if a teenager wrote it. It feels like two separate people wrote the two halves of the film, and Smith just jammed them together with no thought towards thematic or narrative coherence. Consequently, Red State is a jumbled mess of ideas. Smith wanted to do too much within the film's scant 85-minute runtime that none of the satire ultimately leads anywhere, and the film fails as both an action picture and a horror movie.

As the picture begins to wind down, a late twist suggests that all hell is about to break loose and the production is about to take on an entire new meaning that could've transformed it from audacious dud to minor miracle. But alas, it was not to be. Smith just cuts away at random, and the rest of the movie comprises of Agent Keenan explaining the boring specifics of how the skirmish ended. The twist itself, meanwhile, just becomes a punchline for a dumb joke. It's deflating, but all the more infuriating if one reads Smith's description of the ballsy original ending. The final scene here is completely unnecessary and exceedingly pedestrian, with the characters spelling out every thought and message in Red State's cinematic body. It's the equivalent of having an 8-year-old boy yell straight into your ear with a megaphone. Furthermore, Smith clearly takes issue with abuse of government power to silence potential terrorists. But Cooper's church are terrorists; they stockpile guns, they kill on a whim, and they're morally damaged. This confuses the movie's entire concluding point. What the fuck?

Smith often excels as a writer (though this is not demonstrated here), but he's a mediocre director. 2010's Cop Out emphasised how incompetent Smith's filmmaking is, and Red State is equally disheartening. A lot of the editing is much too harsh, which botches the tempo of several scenes, while director of photography David Klein heavily leans on predictable visual tactics like shaky-cam and body-mounted cameras to poor effect. There's also a tremendous problem with the climactic shootout: there's no rhythm. All Smith does is stage a lot of minor character dialogue moments set to non-diegetic gun-firing sounds, and every few minutes we get a customary shot of a few people firing their guns for which they seem to have unlimited ammunition. It diminishes the sense of immediacy, because people only seem to get shot every 5 minutes or so, and there seems to just be a lot of mindless shooting without casualties. As a result, the whole enterprise grows mind-numbingly tedious, and the actual shootout itself becomes too much of a fringe threat.

At the very least, Smith assembled one hell of a cast here. In particular, Michael Parks delivers a stunning performance as Pastor Abin. If Parks knew that Red State was bad, he doesn't show it; he truly went for broke, and he's easily the film's most valuable asset. However, Smith seems too enamoured with Parks to discipline his performance, resulting in sermons that drag on forever. Yes, I know that Smith had a lot to say, but brevity is appreciated. John Goodman, meanwhile, is predictably good as Agent Keenan, and the trio of boys playing the teens all did a great job. Special mention must be made of Kerry Bishé, who will probably be forever known as the one who destroyed Scrubs after having become the new protagonist in the show's dismal final season. Here, Bishé shows genuinely impressive acting chops as Cheyenne, one of the only adults in Cooper's church with something resembling a moral compass.

I'll credit Red State with one thing: it's wildly unpredictable, and it has its moments. Whatever fans of the movie which exist will probably proclaim that it's entertaining because it's uniquely crazy, but that entirely comes down to opinion. For me, the picture may work in pieces but it fails to gel as a whole. Smith tried to pack the film with historical and societal relevance, yet the filmmaker stumbles to do anything substantial with his ideas, merely staging brainless shootouts and tediously extended monologues. It seems Smith simply made things up as he goes along, hoping that heightened shock value and repulsive acts will add up to something laudable. In the end, Red State is exceedingly superficial; it's all about gimmicks rather than genuine substance.

3.8/10