Reviews by PvtCaboose91

After successfully resurrecting the Bad Boys franchise on an unexpected high in 2020, directors Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah return for another round of comedic, action-packed mayhem in 2024's Bad Boys: Ride or Die. Most franchises grow stale and dull by the fourth instalment (see Die Hard, Terminator, or Predator), but this fourth Bad Boys flick shows no signs of fatigue, surpassing its immediate predecessor while also emerging as one of the year's best and most enjoyable action offerings. With a screenplay by Will Beall (Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F) and returning writer Chris Bremner, Bad Boys: Ride or Die directly follows on from Bad Boys for Life, tying into the previous movie's events and bringing back returning characters, meaning that familiarity with the first three films is essential to get the most out of this instalment. While Bad Boys for Life was more heartfelt and story-driven, Bad Boys: Ride or Die wisely cuts loose, cranking up the comedy while delivering bombastic action scenes and never forgetting the core appeal of these movies. Although not as instantly iconic as the untouchable Bad Boys II, Bad Boys: Ride or Die is a blast.


Finally ready to settle down in his middle age, Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) marries his physical therapist, Christine (Melanie Liburd), but their wedding day is spoiled when Mike's best friend and long-time partner, Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence), suffers a near-fatal heart attack during the reception. After seeing visions of the late Captain Howard (Joe Pantoliano) while in a coma, Marcus wakes up believing he cannot die and approaches life with a new enthusiasm. However, news soon breaks that authorities believe Captain Howard was dirty and worked with the drug cartels, an allegation that the Bad Boys refuse to accept. Desperate to prove Howard's innocence, the pair turn to Mike's incarcerated son, Armando (Jacob Scipio), who can identify the man responsible for orchestrating the Captain's assassination, James McGrath (Eric Dane). With help from Rita (Paola Núñez) and her new boyfriend, district attorney Adam Lockwood (Ioan Gruffudd), Mike and Marcus take custody of Armando to transfer him to safety in Miami, but they wind up stranded and on the run, with the authorities branding them as fugitives. Unsure who to trust, the Bad Boys turn to AMMO members Rita, Dorn (Alexander Ludwig), and Kelly (Vanessa Hudgens).

Whereas Bad Boys for Life increased the stakes by breaking up Mike and Marcus for a portion of the proceedings, Bad Boys: Ride or Die keeps the pair together from start to finish, with the iconic Bad Boys working to solve the conspiracy and prove their late Captain's innocence while eluding the authorities. It is an undeniably clichéd premise, but the story is a secondary concern for the Bad Boys films, which are more about the action, comedy and interplay between Mike and Marcus. Although it doesn't offer any truly innovative or original, the story is perfectly serviceable and the directors treat it with sufficient sincerity, while the pacing is assured and the picture does not outstay its welcome despite a beefy 115-minute running time. Additionally, the script reminds us that the two leads are human and are getting older, with Marcus suffering a heart attack early in the proceedings while Mike begins experiencing panic attacks, including during a high-stakes pursuit. Acknowledging their ages and giving them flaws adds some extra dimension and makes them more interesting.


With a generous budget (a reported $100 million), Bad Boys: Ride or Die is polished and slick, looking like a big-budget blockbuster instead of a forgettable distraction for the streaming crowd. Showing ample visual invention during the action set pieces, Adil and Bilall enliven the shootouts with creative cinematography, including first-person-shooter-style shots and aerial photography, making the flick more aesthetically engaging than most B-grade action titles. The directorial duo take visible inspiration from Michael Bay's brand of visual overkill, though the resulting cinematic style is their own since they do not fall victim to headache-inducing shaky cam or rapid-fire editing. The action is destructive and violent, luckily retaining the franchise's coveted R rating that allows for satisfying bloodshed, and the directors further channel Michael Bay (who even makes a cameo driving a Porsche) by paying homage to Bad Boys II in several moments, including use of slow motion and tracking shots of bullets.

Although not all of the green-screen effects are entirely convincing (the driving scenes look a touch ropey), the digital effects throughout Bad Boys: Ride or Die are mostly solid, with Adil and Bilall even incorporating alligators into the deliriously enjoyable climactic shootout at an abandoned amusement park. Although Smith and Lawrence continue to play an active part in the action sequences, one of the film's most notable highlights does not involve the pair - Dennis Green's Reggie comes full circle in a crowd-pleasing throwdown with several assailants during a home invasion, proving himself as a capable man of action. Furthermore, returning composer Lorne Balfe amplifies the excitement during the action sequences, sampling and paying homage to Mark Mancina's music from the original film. Hearing the Bad Boys theme again is an undeniable thrill, and the soundtrack also features the iconic titular song.


Smith and Lawrence's chemistry and interplay remain the franchise's biggest asset, as the two comedic performers continue to score laughs with seemingly little effort. It is an ideal comeback role for Smith after the infamous Oscar slap, with the performer continuing to show his trademark charm and humorous spark, and the film even slyly references the slap. However, although frequently hilarious, the film still lacks the type of defining and memorable comedic moments that made Bad Boys II such a standout (nothing rivals Reggie's introduction). It is nice to see the AMMO squad return here (with the curious absence of Charles Melton), and the actors make a good impression, with Ludwig once again the standout. Despite Captain Howard's demise in Bad Boys for Life, Joe Pantoliano still appears in a minor capacity via video messages and Marcus's visions, and he scores a few laughs. Meanwhile, the lovely Rhea Seehorn (Better Call Saul) appears as Captain Howard's daughter, Judy, but she feels miscast in this mostly thankless role despite her immense dramatic talents. Also joining the cast is Ioan Gruffudd, who plays one of the most obvious bad guys imaginable. Even though Gruffudd's villainy is supposed to be a twist, it would have been a far more unexpected twist if he was not corrupt. Bad Boys: Ride or Die is also the first Bad Boys movie without Theresa Randle as Marcus's wife because she retired from acting in 2020. In her place is Tasha Smith, though the change is thankfully not distracting.

It is comforting that there is still a place for the old-fashioned Bad Boys movies in a modern cinematic climate dominated by superhero movies and expensive PG-13 blockbusters, and it is all the more encouraging that Bad Boys: Ride or Die is an entertaining and lively distraction instead of a soulless, boring cash grab. With outstanding action scenes and uproarious comedy plus a sufficiently engaging story that links to the previous movies, it is difficult to imagine any franchise fans walking away unsatisfied. The movie leaves room for another sequel, and the prospect of a fifth Bad Boys picture is legitimately exciting for this reviewer as the series remains reliably enjoyable nearly thirty years after the first film entered cinemas. Stick around for a brief post-credits scene that does not deliver anything narratively significant but does contain an additional gag.

7.9/10

The purest and most satisfying Jason Statham action vehicle in years, 2024's The Beekeeper is a delirious blast of competent, action-packed, unpretentious fun, with director David Ayer (Fury, End of Watch) and screenwriter Kurt Wimmer (Equilibrium) using intriguing John Wick-esque lore to spice up an old-fashioned One Man Army premise. Playing out with the zest and spirit of action films from the '80s and '90s, it tells a simplistic story, and the screenplay is not airtight, but the execution is first-rate, with Ayer again proving himself a competent action craftsman. Although not deep or meaningful cinema, The Beekeeper offers good, clean storytelling, a strong sense of pacing and badass action scenes with Statham at the top of his game. As long as you approach The Beekeeper in the right mindset (as a Jason Statham action flick), the movie is a total blast with plenty of highlights to recommend.


In Massachusetts, Adam Clay (Jason Statham) carries on a quiet life as a beekeeper living in a barn and shares a warm friendship with the farm's landowner, Eloise Parker (Phylicia Rashad). While Clay is busy tending to the bees one afternoon, Eloise falls for a phishing scam, with the fast-talking, slimy Mickey (David Witts) tricking her over the phone before draining all the money from her accounts, including a charity fund that she manages. Horrified and devastated, Eloise promptly commits suicide, and Clay discovers the body before encountering Eloise's FBI agent daughter, Verona (Emmy Raver-Lampman), who struggles to make sense of the situation. With law enforcement unable to stop the scammers who habitually defraud senior citizens, Clay uses his connections to track them down, swiftly finding the location of Mickey's call centre. Clay is a retired member of a black ops unit known as the Beekeepers, and his career turned him into a highly competent, resourceful, and dangerous assassin capable of orchestrating a relentless killing spree to avenge Eloise's death. Clay also intends to target Mickey's boss, a technology executive named Derek (Josh Hutcherson), who frantically turns to a security expert and former CIA director Wallace Westwyld (Jeremy Irons) for assistance.

The Beekeeper's premise is timely in 2024 since cyber criminals work to scam innocent people every day, and watching Clay furiously unleash upon these unscrupulous tech bro scumbags is the best type of satisfying wish-fulfillment action cinema. Ayer leans into the corniness of action flicks of yesteryear, portraying Clay as an impossibly ingenious and unstoppable force of nature who remains a few steps ahead of his enemies, and there is some over-the-top, badass dialogue to boot. Indeed, The Beekeeper is cheesy to its core, with one-dimensional characters and dialogue that makes the expositional scenes sound like a parody of action flicks. However, it is all sold in the correct spirit. The movie's only genuine downfall is a subplot involving the FBI and Verona, which is the least interesting part of the plot. The complication involving the government trying to capture Clay threatens the sense of fun, especially considering the lapses in logic as the titular Beekeeper evades and fights federal agents without major repercussions. One would also suppose that if Verona could not officially support Clay in his revenge mission, she would sneakily assist him or enable him since her mother was a victim, but it takes the character too long to come to her senses.


Ayer understands precisely what action fans crave, and he delivers the goods in spades. With an R rating, The Beekeeper is remarkably violent, with Ayer adding a hard-hitting, visceral edge to Clay's murder spree, allowing for satisfying and creative kills. Ayer favours a grittier aesthetic compared to the John Wick movies, and cinematographer Gabriel Beristain (Ayer's Street Kings) captures the action scenes with smooth handheld photography, amplifying the intensity without turning the superb choreography into a confusing blur. After watching Statham do battle with enormous digital sharks and maintaining a presence in the ongoing Fast and Furious franchise, it is all the more satisfying to watch a film like The Beekeeper, which is light on phoney CGI (a couple of explosions notwithstanding), with Ayer instead favouring practical effects and grounded action scenes, including old-fashioned shootouts and brawls. Ayer makes the most of the modest $40 million budget, and the picture feels vehemently theatrical instead of a cheap, straight-to-streaming, B-grade distraction. Admittedly, the production design is exaggerated, with the call centres looking colourful and fancy, like high-class nightclubs, and the story requires a certain suspension of disbelief (scammers typically work in other countries, not a short drive from their victims in the United States), but this hardly matters in the grand scheme of things, especially when the movie is so entertaining.

Although Statham essentially plays another variation of the same action-hero character, he is a lot of fun in roles like these and he does it exceptionally well. Now in his fifties, Statham still has the physicality to credibly portray an accomplished man of action, and his grizzled, emotionless line delivery is ideal for the character of Clay. Meanwhile, Josh Hutcherson vehemently plays against type as the villain here, relishing the chance to take on the role of a slimy, dishonest nepo baby who tries to talk tough but only comes off as pathetic. Hutcherson is not a formidable or memorable villain, but that is where Jeremy Irons steps in. The perpetually reliable Irons adds a touch of gravitas to the proceedings, submitting an incredibly engaging performance as one of the only people who can recognise the dangers that Beekeepers pose. Also of note is Phylicia Rashad (from the Creed movies), who adds an appreciable warmth to the story and shares wonderful chemistry with Statham, ensuring a believable motive for Clay's rampage.


For Statham fans, The Beekeeper is a must-see, standing alongside films like Wrath of Man and Safe as one of his best solo action movie offerings. Running at an agreeable 105 minutes, the picture does not outstay its welcome, and Ayer ably maintains a fast pace without sacrificing narrative or editing coherency. Additionally, the lore at the centre of The Beekeeper screams franchise potential, as one can certainly imagine enjoying further action-packed adventures with Clay (the ending leaves room wide open for this) and spinoffs set in the same universe.

7.2/10

Another remake of a beloved '80s classic, 2024's Road House is an overlong misfire that lacks the charm, personality and appeal of Rowdy Herrington's wildly enjoyable 1989 cult classic. Although director Doug Liman, who works from a script by Anthony Bagarozzi and Chuck Mondry, tries to create a fresh take by tapping into the world of MMA fighting, the execution is disappointingly wrong-headed. Without a compelling reason to exist, this nihilistic reimagining of Road House feels like a passionless endeavour that prioritises commerce over art and only exists to fill a release schedule. Despite Liman's disgruntled comments over the movie not receiving a cinema release, it plays out bland, forgettable streaming content instead of a grand theatrical event.


Frankie (Jessica Williams) owns an unruly roadhouse in the Florida Keys and desperately needs outside help to restore order by ousting the bar's unsavoury new clientele. After witnessing former UFC fighter Elwood Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) on the underground fighting circuit, she offers him the job of head bouncer at her establishment, sweetening the deal with an attractive paycheque. Hesitantly accepting the offer, Dalton makes a home for himself in the Florida Keys, living on a rundown houseboat as he begins cleaning up Frankie's bar, simply known as The Road House. He quickly becomes a target for men working for a local crime boss, Ben Brandt (Billy Magnussen), who hopes to disrupt Frankie's business to compel her to give up the bar and allow him to take over the land. Dalton's efforts also attract the attention of a local doctor named Ellie (Daniela Melchior), while Brandt's incarcerated father sends in a psychotic enforcer, Knox (Conor McGregor), to take on Dalton and destroy The Road House.

With the story only slightly resembling the original movie, the flick would have been better off as an original movie with a different title and a few storytelling tweaks. Indeed, most potential viewers will have no idea that this is a remake, and calling it Road House only invites unflattering comparisons since the 1989 picture did everything better - it has a better soundtrack, better actors, more memorable fights, and more '80s excess. Instead of a catchy soundtrack comprising blues, jazz and rock songs, the band in this remake only plays generic, bland pap, though this is at least thematically suitable since this iteration of Road House as a whole also amounts to generic, bland pap. Instead of memorable one-liners or engaging dialogue, this remake only contains bland, witless action movie speak, and all attempts at humour will only trigger exasperated sighs. The script overcomplicates the narrative by introducing a corrupt cop with no reason to exist, Brandt's real estate scheme is patently uninteresting, and Liman wastes potentially interesting storytelling ideas. For example, Dalton takes one young bouncer under his wing as a protégé, but their relationship is tragically underdone when it could have provided some honest-to-goodness heart similar to the dynamic between Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliott in the original flick. This narrative angle feels like a wasted opportunity, especially since Dalton's relationship with Ellie feels perfunctory and superficial, lacking in heat and chemistry.


Admittedly, changing the setting from the Midwest to the Florida Keys is a robust creative decision, as it gives the picture its own aesthetic identity and results in some eye-catching, colourful cinematography courtesy of Henry Braham (The Suicide Squad, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3). Unfortunately, the cinematography during the fights is hit-and-miss, with gimmicky shots that detract from the visceral impact of the brawls, making these sequences less engaging. Furthermore, dreadful digital effects plague Road House, with CGI vehicles and explosions looking janky as hell, while Liman unwisely tries to enhance the fights themselves with obvious digital trickery. Although Liman tries to do something fresh, the attempt does not pay off - the movie would look infinitely better with well-choreographed, well-filmed, practical fights and stunt sequences. It's difficult to believe that Road House was directed by the same filmmaker who was responsible for memorable action films like The Bourne Identity, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and Edge of Tomorrow. How embarrassing that an $85 million production from a major studio pales in comparison to the low-budget, independent Australian gem Life After Fighting.

Road House is not entirely without its charms, as Conor McGregor's laughably over-the-top performance is a source of constant amusement. Other highlights include Arturo Castro as Moe, a polite henchman who has fallen in with the wrong crowd and is forever trying to avoid getting on Dalton's bad side. Unfortunately, Magnussen's Ben Brandt is another bad guy who adheres to the contemporary villain archetype: a snobby, snivelly rich kid with no social skills. Magnussen exudes no genuine menace and poses no threat, feeling better suited for a low-grade TV show than a theatrical action film. There's no denying that Gyllenhaal is a fine actor, but his version of Dalton is a miss. It's not entirely his fault, as the script gives him a troubled past in an attempt to humanise him, but this material slows the storytelling to a halt and makes Dalton an infinitely less interesting character. Additionally, the lousy storytelling introduces things like a bizarre almost-suicide for Dalton in the first act that the film quickly forgets about instead of further developing, while a knife wound Dalton suffers early in the movie bleeds at a convenient time for Ellie to notice but is never an issue again. The inconsistencies, lack of consequences, and absence of proper storytelling cohesion significantly harm Road House, making the narrative feel like a tedious string of inconsequential scenes and moments. It's difficult to care or feel genuine investment in anything that happens.


Let's not mince words here: Road House did not need a remake. An endlessly enjoyable product of its time, the charm of 1989's Road House cannot be replicated in the 21st Century, but one could still imagine a prospective remake being better than this. Remake ideas floated around Hollywood for years, with directors like Rob Cohen and Nick Cassavetes taking a stab at developing the film, while Ronda Rousey was also attached to star at one point. With this in mind, I guess it could have been worse. At the very least, it is fortunate that this Road House is R-rated and packs a visceral punch during the action scenes, but the filmmakers ruin many of the fight sequences with egregious digital enhancements. There are entertaining moments here and there, and Conor McGregor's goofy, unsubtle performance is hilarious, but there is not enough of value to recommend sitting through all two hours of this tripe. Talks of a sequel are ongoing, a notion that sparks about as much excitement as a prostate exam.

4.1/10

After Ridley Scott's polarising Alien prequels that strayed from the franchise's formula with its philosophical and religious undertones, 2024's Alien: Romulus is a safe, generic return to the Alien universe, with director Fede Alvarez (Don't Breathe, 2013's Evil Dead remake) fundamentally creating a glorified, big-budget fan film. Instead of another instalment with tenuous links to the existing movies, Alien: Romulus takes place between the events of Alien and Aliens, and it contains direct ties to 2012's Prometheus and the 1979 classic that first introduced movie-goers to the iconic Xenomorphs. With a screenplay by Alvarez and frequent collaborator Rodo Sayagues, the picture meaningfully and respectfully contributes to the franchise without any bone-headed subversions or character assassinations, and the superb visual presentation favours tangibility and realism over excessive digital effects. What the movie lacks is empathetic and relatable characters to make viewers care about the proceedings, while the story recycles too many elements from previous Alien pictures. Consequently, Romulus comes alive in places, but Alvarez cannot stick the landing.


An orphan who works at the mining colony of Jackson's Star, Rain (Cailee Spaeny) maintains a close relationship with her adoptive brother, a reprogrammed android named Andy (David Jonsson). After hitting a setback when the company extends her contract by several years, she seeks to escape the colony, agreeing to accompany her ex-boyfriend, Tyler (Archie Renaux), on an expedition to retrieve cryonic stasis equipment from a derelict Weyland-Yutani craft in deep space. Retrieving the chambers will allow them to make the prolonged voyage to a safer world. Also among the crew are Kay (Isabela Merced), Bjorn (Spike Fearn), and Navarro (Aileen Wu), while Andy's interface with computer systems is crucial to ensure the mission's success. After docking with the space station, the crew swiftly get to work, but they inadvertently awaken dozens of frozen facehuggers, triggering an automatic lockdown. With the station set to collide with Jackson's planetary rings and the Xenomorph threat continuing to evolve, the crew begin a fight for survival.

With a beefy two-hour runtime, Romulus takes too long to get started and too long to end, as the picture lacks compelling storytelling and a pronounced three-act structure. The most significant subplot involves the character of Andy, whose prime directive is updated to ensure the completion of the company's mission, taking commands from the station's damaged android officer. It's a conceptually interesting angle, but it is not always engaging. Unfortunately, Romulus needs more originality, as it plays out like a "greatest hits" compilation of the original Alien movies. Alvarez incorporates the franchise's most iconic and recognisable elements like the pulse rifle (now with aiming assistance), the Weyland-Yutani corporation, facehuggers, chestbursters, an alien hive with human hosts in the walls, another android, and more. The opening credits use the same font as the original Alien, and the script recycles the ticking clock from Aliens, right down to a robotic voice to remind the characters that time is running out. Furthermore, Romulus recreates iconic shots and set pieces, including a climactic showdown on a ship after the danger is ostensibly over (reminiscent of Aliens). But the most egregious and cringe-worthy moment involves a character repeating the line "Get away from her, you bitch" without sufficient motivation or logic. Nevertheless, Romulus does feature some fresh ideas - it builds upon the conclusion of Alien, and it helps to expand the lore in intriguing ways without upsetting the franchise canon. But considering that Alvarez is a proclaimed fan of the Dark Horse Comics line of Aliens books, which are full of inventive story ideas, it is a shame that the narrative of Romulus is so derivative.


The worst sin of Alien: Romulus is the characters. Although the actors put in a lot of effort and submit confident performances, it is hard to care about and root for these people as they range from mildly annoying to highly irritating, and interpersonal conflicts make them all the more insufferable. Whereas the cast of the original Alien were intelligent characters who made well-informed decisions that did not always work out, Romulus features mostly idiotic characters making dumb decisions, reminiscent of a low-grade '80s slasher flick. The script tries to use Kay's pregnancy to make her more sympathetic, but without any further personality or distinctive character traits, it is still difficult to care, and names barely stick beyond Rain and Andy. In fact, I honestly forgot how many characters were on the mission despite the relatively small cast due to the lack of beefy characterisation and the forgettable dialogue. Especially in comparison to the colourful cast of Aliens (with Michael Biehn, Bill Paxton, Lance Henriksen and Paul Reiser, to name a few), the characters in Romulus look even worse. Alvarez wanted to use youthful characters in this story from the outset, but this decision is to the film's detriment since the ensemble lacks the gravitas of an experienced actor to anchor the story. Rising star Cailee Spaeny makes the biggest impression here, bringing credible intensity and emotion to the role, but the writing unfortunately lets her down.

Its story and character issues aside, Romulus undeniably excels as a technical exercise. Taking its cues from the original Alien movies, Alvarez takes great care to recreate its predecessors' grimy, low-tech aesthetic, making the picture look like a lavish sci-fi production from the '70s or '80s. The results are gorgeous, with everything from the cinematography, colour grading, lighting, costume and art design looking spot-on, while the use of practical creature effects and miniatures further solidifies the illusion. Although shot digitally by cinematographer Galo Olivares (2020's Gretel & Hansel), the picture carries the aesthetic appearance of a celluloid production instead of a slick contemporary blockbuster. Even Benjamin Wallfisch's score reuses cues and motifs created by Jerry Goldsmith and James Horner, but it still feels sufficiently original instead of outright derivative. Luckily, Alvarez is an exceptional cinematic craftsman, staging intense set pieces and unnerving, terrifying sequences of visceral horror, with the director taking most of his inspiration from the original Alien and the Alien: Isolation video game. Admittedly, however, many notable moments simply recreate scenes from earlier Alien pictures, and Romulus is surprisingly light on alien-centric set pieces for a two-hour movie. Worse, Alvarez becomes too reliant on digital effects during the third act, and the climactic showdown with a hybrid creature is incredibly silly, closing the picture on a disappointing note.


Despite its exceptional technical presentation and pleasing reverence for its predecessors, Alien: Romulus falls short of reaching its full potential. However, there are highlights when Alvarez displays impressive innovation, including a zero-gravity action scene that showcases the characters being surprisingly resourceful for once. Alvarez also makes the most of the R rating, staging gory and icky moments of horror that hit hard, including one gruesome moment involving Kay towards the film's climax that reportedly even made the actors wince. The creature horror is top-notch, making it all the more disappointing that Romulus comes up short in other areas. Nevertheless, it is a thrill to experience the memorable sights and sounds of the Alien franchise once again, and this instalment is undoubtedly superior to Alien: Resurrection and the theatrical cut of Alien 3.

5.8/10

In a Violent Nature is an ingenious idea for a short horror movie that, unfortunately, begins to fall apart as a 90-minute feature film in the hands of writer-director Chris Nash. A throwback slasher horror flick, In a Violent Nature is Nash's feature-film debut after several short movie credits, including a segment for 2014's ABCs of Death 2. Nash essentially blends the conventions and archetypes of classic '80s backwoods slasher films (think Just Before Dawn, Madman, Friday the 13th and its sequels, or any other comparable production), but filters the story's events through the perspective of the unstoppable killer behemoth responsible for the massacring. It's a slow-burn approach that requires patience and endurance, though there are visceral highlights that genre enthusiasts will appreciate...if they can stick with it for long enough. By design, it is not scary or suspenseful, with the picture primarily amounting to a Jason Voorhees-type killer trudging through the forest and occasionally doing something interesting.


In a rural backwoods forest, a group of friends discovers a golden locket hanging inside the remnants of a fire tower. One of the men steals the necklace, but this awakens the corpse of Johnny (Ry Barrett), who promptly begins a killing rampage to retrieve the item. Unable to find the locket, he wanders around the area and eventually encounters a group of young people sitting around a campfire, one of whom recounts the urban legend about Johnny. Johnny is the developmentally delayed son of a local merchant, and he was killed after falling from the top of the fire tower during a prank gone wrong. Locals attribute a series of murders in the area to Johnny's vengeful spirit, though nobody in the group actually believes the legend. However, after returning to their cabin for the night, Johnny commences his killing spree, determined to retrieve the locket that was gifted to him by his mother. With Johnny murdering members of the group one by one, they eventually realise that something is wrong and desperately set out to find assistance.

Nash presents the film in a unique, matter-of-fact style, making it feel more like a nature documentary since it does not feature any music or visual flourishes. The resulting sense of atmosphere is incredibly effective at times, particularly with the layered soundscape of the woods, and it is occasionally interesting to watch Johnny's methodical methods. Several conventional kill scenarios are accounted for here, from somebody getting killed while taking a leak on a tree in the dark to another victim meeting their fate while swimming in a lake. There's a satiric energy to such sequences, and the gore effects are top-notch, with Nash never holding back during the most vicious and nihilistic murders. With a mix of practical effects and subtle digital trickery, the kills look exceptional, with modern filmmaking technology allowing for the type of uncomfortably realistic murders that '80s slashers could not achieve with limited financing and resources. Furthermore, the crisp cinematography by Pierce Derks is consistently eye-catching, with sturdy handheld camerawork as Johnny lurches from place to place. Aside from a few missteps (it is a shame the camera doesn't follow Johnny underwater when he enters the lake; this feels like a missed opportunity), the arthouse-esque stylistic approach to In a Violent Nature is breathtaking, particularly with the decision to present the film in the 1.33:1, full-frame aspect ratio.


Despite a mostly strong first half, the picture tapers off during the second half before ending on a tragically anticlimactic note. Unfortunately, Nash continues to rely on slow, methodical pacing during the second half instead of generating a more pronounced sense of momentum, while dumb character behaviours grow more prevalent and difficult to ignore. One protracted kill sequence even gets boring - a dismemberment involving a log splitter that drags on way too long, resulting in boredom and dead air instead of visceral thrills. In a Violent Nature eventually leaves Johnny's side and switches focus to the final girl, but the subsequent conversation in a car is highly disinteresting, closing the movie with a whimper instead of a bang, leaving room wide open for the already-announced sequel. The decision to abandon the original intent and change perspectives right at the end feels baffling instead of logical.

None of the actors make much of an impression, though Barrett is pitch-perfect as the tall, imposing killer who never speaks a word, effectively creating a character through movement and body language. It is perhaps by design, but some of the victims are so obnoxiously unlikeable that it is satisfying to watch them meet their brutal end. Indeed, Nash relishes the chance to embrace genre clichés and showcase his reverence for slasher classics - Johnny even wears an old fireman mask reminiscent of My Bloody Valentine. Although the time period is unclear, the lack of cell phones or contemporary technology suggests a '70s or '80s setting, meaning the victims cannot easily call for help. Although a valiant attempt to inject fresh life into the slasher genre, In a Violent Nature is more dull than tense or unnerving, with Nash unable to take full advantage of the innovative premise.

5.1/10

Despite the inherent creepiness of arachnids, spider horror movies are surprisingly rare, with 1990's Arachnophobia remaining the most noteworthy and memorable. A low-budget spider monster movie from Australia, 2024's Sting confidently enters the genre arena, mixing in a splash of science fiction with its giddy giant-spider-from-outer-space premise. Instead of a trashy, B-grade offering resembling a Syfy original movie, Sting is a serious-minded genre entry, with writer-director Kiah Roache-Turner (Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead) creating the type of movie that will likely give arachnophobes nightmares. It's not memorable or genre-defining, but Sting is an astonishingly competent fright fest with slick, shadowy visuals and top-notch creature effects, ensuring it is a worthwhile watch for genre aficionados.


In a dilapidated Brooklyn apartment block, twelve-year-old Charlotte (Alyla Browne) lives with her mother, Heather (Penelope Mitchell), and stressed-out stepfather, Ethan (Ryan Corr), who also works as the building's maintenance guy. Ethan tries to connect to Charlotte by collaborating with her on a comic book, but the teenager remains isolated and moody in the wake of her parents' divorce. After a mysterious object crash-lands into the apartment building, Charlotte discovers a tiny spider resembling a redback, and she decides to keep it as a pet in a jar, naming her "Sting" after eying a copy of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit on her bookshelf. Charlotte feeds Sting cockroaches that she catches around the apartment, but the spider's appetite continues to grow, along with her size and ferocity, putting the residents in considerable danger.

Sting entirely takes place within the confines of the apartment building, with a vicious snowstorm compelling the residents to stay indoors. An ensemble of interesting neighbours adds colour to the proceedings, including a convenient spider enthusiast in Erik (Danny Kim), though Jermaine Fowler is the most entertaining and energetic as a visiting exterminator, Frank. The cast mostly features Australian performers espousing American accents, but none-the-wiser viewers will likely assume that the actors are U.S. natives because the performances are effortlessly convincing. As the rebellious young Charlotte, Alyla Browne (Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga) is incredibly believable, submitting a compelling performance with pep, spirit and tangible emotional depth. Alongside her, Ryan Corr is charming and empathetic, while Noni Hazelhurst provides further personality as the forgetful Helga. Roache-Turner endeavours to add dimension to the story by delving into familial dramas, but the effort does not always pay off, with the movie becoming less interesting when dealing with these subplots. More successful are Charlotte and Ethan's creative comic book pursuits.


Even though production took place in Australia, the sense of time and place is enormously authentic. In addition to the impressive performances, the spot-on production design convincingly captures the distinct aesthetic of old NYC apartment buildings. After embracing zany campiness with his Wyrmwood pictures, Roache-Turner aims for a darker tone here without neglecting an all-important sense of fun. Sting features unsettling kill scenes and atmospheric moments of Sting hunting in the dark, but it is also enjoyable watching Charlotte prepare for battle by preparing moth ball water in a super soaker, resulting in a visual homage to Aliens. Hell, the director even throws in a fun homage to The Terminator during the climax for good measure. The special effects are genuinely impressive, with the wizards at Wētā Workshop using terrific practical effects (specifically puppets) with seamless digital effects enhancements to bring the titular beast to life on-screen. The illusion is immaculate, while gory make-up and prosthetic effects further enhance the sense of unease - this is not a movie for the faint of heart. Wisely, Roache-Turner frequently keeps Sting hidden during the shadowy set pieces, relying on sound design, the claustrophobic setting, and the omnipresent threat that she might attack at any time to generate bone-chilling tension.

Thanks to its reliance on practical effects, Sting feels like the right kind of throwback monster movie, feeling more like an entertaining genre offering from the '70s or '80s than a modern, CGI-laden horror flick. It's fun and often funny, while Roache-Turner also adds emotional complexities to the story by exploring themes of isolation and neglect, with Charlotte using the spider to fill her void of loneliness as she yearns for a genuine connection. Furthermore, Roache-Turner shows great affection for the horror genre through references and Easter eggs without weaving something that feels detrimentally derivative. The script is not airtight, as characters sometimes make bone-headed decisions, but Sting gets more right than wrong.

6.6/10

Perhaps the most accessible film written and directed by the iconoclastic Jim Jarmusch (Mystery Train, Dead Man), 1999's Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai is an enthrallingly original and incredibly cool crime drama with intriguing characters and thematic underpinnings. Taking inspiration from classic mafia films and samurai pictures, Jarmusch superimposes ancient samurai values and codes onto a contemporary tale about a lonely mob assassin in Jersey City, exploring modern alienation and isolation in big cities. It's an engrossing mixture of philosophical contemplation and brutal violence, with Jarmusch breathing superb stylistic life into the relatively standard-order plot. However, do not watch Ghost Dog expecting a fast-paced, shoot-'em-up action flick, as it is more meditative than energetic, with the shootouts feeling perfunctory and sedate instead of exhilarating.


A contract killer for the local mafia, Ghost Dog (Forest Whitaker) lives in a shack on the roof of an empty building and adheres to the code of the samurai, applying wisdom from Yamamoto Tsunetomo's warrior manual Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai. Without a computer or telephone, he only communicates through homing pigeons, accepting assignments from a low-level Italian mobster, Louie (John Tormey), who saved Ghost Dog's life several years earlier. Ghost Dog follows Louie's orders by assassinating a local gangster, but the hit is complicated by the presence of Louise (Tricia Vessey), the daughter of mob boss Vargo (Henry Silva), who witnesses the murder. Fearing that loose ends will implicate them in the murder, Vargo and fellow gangster Sonny Valerio (Cliff Gorman) put out a contract on Ghost Dog despite nobody knowing what he looks like. With the lives of Ghost Dog and Louie in jeopardy, the hitman resolves to kill Vargo and his men.

In between his violent pursuits, Ghost Dog develops a tender friendship with a young girl, Pearline (Camille Winbush), who also likes to read, and he frequently visits his best friend, a French-speaking ice cream vendor named Raymond (Isaach de Bankolé). Even though Raymond and Ghost Dog do not speak the same language and cannot understand what the other is saying, they still manage to communicate effectively. Additionally, Jarmusch infuses the picture with gallows humour and sharp wit, resulting in numerous unexpected moments of hilarity. Notable scenes include overweight Italian mobsters being so out of breath after scaling some stairs that they can barely function during a hit, and one elderly crime boss suffering a fatal heart attack before Ghost Dog has the chance to shoot him. Another amusing moment involves Ghost Dog assassinating a mobster by shooting him through a sink drain in a scene that homages Seijun Suzuki's 1967 film Branded to Kill.


Ghost Dog's narrative is not airtight, with strained logic and contrivance leading the mob to order the hit on Ghost Dog despite his obvious value as a gun-for-hire. Thankfully, however, the strength of Jarmusch's direction and the terrific performances compensate for any illogical or unbelievable moments. Ghost Dog is essentially a character study of the titular hitman, and the director makes seemingly mundane activities fascinating to observe. Jarmusch spends ample time giving the character genuine dimension as he interacts with others and reads ancient literature, with Louise even giving the assassin a copy of the book Rashōmon. Jarmusch emphasises Ghost Dog's adherence to the samurai code by displaying on-screen passages of Hagakure, with Whitaker reading them out via a calming voiceover.

Jarmusch created Ghost Dog specifically for Forest Whitaker, and it is the actor's defining performance. Preparation for the role included extensive research and meditation as the actor immersed himself in the character's world to spiritually connect to the material, resulting in a credible and engaging portrayal of the titular assassin. Ghost Dog is a cold-blooded killer, yet Whitaker emanates warmth and humanity, looking convincing as an assassin and as a gentle man who likes to read and eat ice cream, making it difficult to imagine any other actor playing this part. Ghost Dog's methodical approach to assassinations makes this a fascinating character who normally uses creative and stealthy methods to dispose of his targets, though he also acquits himself admirably when storming a mansion full of mafiosos. Jarmusch even underscores Ghost Dog's knowledge and reverence for ancient cultures by showing him confronting a pair of racist hunters on the side of the road who killed a bear. Other performances from the ensemble are equally effective, with the gangsters walking and talking like characters from The Sopranos or a Martin Scorsese movie.


Belying its meagre $2 million budget, Ghost Dog carries an outstanding visual gravitas, making it look more appealing than productions that cost three or four times as much. Jarmusch exudes an exceptional command of the material, perpetually maintaining interest despite the deliberately ponderous pace. Jarmusch keeps the action beats short, sharp, shocking, and violent, with practical blood squibs adding a visceral edge to these scenes. The director also appreciates the value of pauses and moments of silence - by design, this is not a high-energy action flick. Furthermore, with production taking place in New Jersey, Ghost Dog is thick on atmosphere, with every location feeling wholly authentic instead of manufactured or phoney. The gorgeously stylish 35mm cinematography (courtesy of acclaimed Dutch cinematographer Robby Müller) further contributes to the breathtaking sense of atmosphere, as nothing feels like the work of green screen, soundstages or obvious digital trickery. RZA's accompanying hip-hop-infused original score and other soundtrack choices (including reggae songs) add another layer to Jarmusch's distinctive audiovisual approach to the production, ensuring that Ghost Dog feels like something far more than a disposable, run-of-the-mill B-movie. Although fundamentally an arthouse movie, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai does not feel like drab homework.

8.8/10

The Emu War is a one-joke movie painfully stretched to a taxing 70 minutes. Lacking comedic rhythm and genuine wit, it plays out like a series of cheap, improvised YouTube skits, relishing in the juvenile jokes, bargain-basement digital effects, obvious puppetry, painful overacting, and lack of overall production value; as a result, the concept wears thin and becomes tiresome by the ten-minute mark. With three credited directors (John Campbell, Lisa Fineberg, and Jay Morrissey), The Emu War is in on the joke from the first frame, with the actors all consistently mugging the camera while the filmmakers make no effort to conceal the minuscule budget. Despite somehow securing a limited theatrical release, the movie never looks or feels like a proper theatrical feature; instead, it looks microbudget and lazy, with tone-deaf performances and consistently lazy humour. It brings back uncomfortable memories of horrendous spoof films like Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans.


In 1932, the Australian Army executed a military operation to cull emus following concerns about the number of birds destroying crops in Western Australia. The "Emu War" is an actual historical event, and the internet has become obsessed with the inherent silliness of this moment in history, especially since the emus technically won. Instead of a historically accurate retelling of the real-life event, The Emu War is flat-out fiction, portraying the emus as gun-toting soldiers who engage in combat. The story, such as it is, involves four "elite" Australian Army soldiers who set out to battle the flightless birds, aiming to attack and kill the Queen Emu. Endless non-sequiturs stem from this premise, with flashbacks and other nonsensical goings-on, including a highly uncomfortable orgy scene. It's all incredibly stupid, but the directors evidently know how idiotic and unfunny the material is; they ostensibly hope that viewers will laugh ironically because of how lowbrow, lazy, and unfunny each gag is.

There is merit to the concept of using the true-life Emu War as the basis for a farcical comedy, but the approach and execution are entirely wrong-headed because the humour is far too broad and over-the-top. A more interesting approach would be to play things entirely straight, portraying the emus as serious military minds who plan and strategise their attacks, and recover in the aftermath of a battle. The Emu War perpetually squanders potentially successful comedic set-ups with its lowbrow humour; every piece of dialogue feels improvised, making one wonder how much work credited screenwriter Jonathan Schuster actually did. The film uses real-life Australian personalities in a desperate attempt at humour, with characters like Ned Kelly (Harry Tseng), Prime Minister Harold Holt (Cameron James), and Burke and Wills (Colwyn Buckland and Filip Lescaut), who appear as homosexual conjoined twins to illustrate the depths of the script's comedic thinking. However, the film does nothing interesting or witty with these characters, instead relying on puerile, unfunny toilet humour.


Although the costumes and props are admittedly impressive, and the use of practical puppets for the emus is a cute touch, the rest of the movie is a total bust from a technical perspective. The digital effects are atrocious, but the directors erroneously believe the woeful computer-generated imagery will provide additional laughs. Moments such as a 300-inspired action beat involving a soldier fighting emus with a sword are cringe-inducing and painful to watch, while green-screen effects are obvious and phoney. Additionally, David McKinnar's digital cinematography looks flat and lifeless; as a result, The Emu War truly looks like a series of YouTube skits instead of a slick theatrical comedy.

Perhaps the sheer awfulness of The Emu War will satisfy viewers who are drinking heavily with their friends and are easily amused - in fact, that seems to be the movie's target audience. The directors want viewers to laugh at the flick ironically due to its deliberately unfunny gags and awful CGI, but a "so bad it's good" comedy requires specific adeptness and sincerity. Indeed, Tommy Wiseau believed he was making a timeless, Oscar-worthy drama with The Room but accidentally created an enduring cult classic. By trying to make a comedy like Birdemic or The Room that is "so bad it's good," the directors miss the mark by a long shot - it's just really, really bad. At least The Emu War is harmless in its awfulness, which is about the only praise I can award it.

1.8/10