Reviews by PvtCaboose91

Santa's Slay is about Santa Claus (wrestler Bill Goldberg), but this incarnation of the character is not the jolly fat guy we know and adore. As it turns out, Santa is the son of Satan who lost a bet with one of God's angels, forcing him into spreading cheer and goodwill for a thousand years. The story takes place as the thousand-year bet ends, and Saint Nick is free to murder and mutilate as much as he desires. On December 25th, he arrives in the small township of Hell (yes, Hell), riding on a sleigh driven by his "hell-deer" beasts to decimate the local population. The task of stopping the homicidal Kris Kringle falls to Nicolas (Douglas Smith), his would-be girlfriend Mary (the aforementioned Emilie de Ravin), and his eccentric grandfather (Robert Culp), who knows all about Santa's dark origins.

Are you sick of clichéd dysfunctional family Christmas films like Surviving Christmas and Christmas with the Kranks? Writer-director David Steiman clearly is, and he instantly lets us know about this perspective by completely skewering the very concept of such Yuletide movies. In the first scene of Santa's Slay, a bickering family - played by recognisable actors James Caan (Elf), Rebecca Gayheart (Urban Legend), Chris Kattan (Saturday Night Live) and Fran Drescher (The Nanny) - gather around for a Christmas lunch, creating the impression that we might be in for another dysfunctional family Christmas film. But then Goldberg's ruthless, Satanic Santa Claus promptly comes down the chimney and viciously murders them all in overzealous, funny ways, signalling that this is another type of Christmas movie. Heck, Steiman even pokes fun at holiday specials like Rankin/Bass's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer by illustrating Santa's history with a claymation sequence.

Despite the flick's obscure, low-budget, direct-to-video origins, Brett Ratner served as a producer on Santa's Slay. After writer-director Steiman worked as Ratner's personal assistant for several movies (including Red Dragon, Rush Hour 2 and The Family Man), this picture allowed Steiman to try his hand at actual filmmaking. Right off the bat, Steiman does a marvellous job, making it unfortunate that Steiman has not made another movie as of 2024. The tone of Santa's Slay is agreeably campy and light-hearted, and the filmmaking itself is rock-solid for such a budget production. The murders are ridiculously funny - Santa stabs someone with a menorah for crying out loud, and in another scene, Santa's sled runs an old lady off the road. This material is glorious. Steiman's script also deploys plenty of amusing one-liners (including a play on Santa exclaiming "Ho ho ho!") to supplement the picture's humorous lunacy. But the film is not perfect - the score by Henning Lohner is too cheap and chintzy, and the budget limitations are sometimes obvious. Indeed, one gets the sense that Steiman could have done more with a higher budget. Nevertheless, Santa's Slay is a fun movie, which is all that matters in the long run.

The notion of wrestlers becoming actors does not often work (see Hulk Hogan in Santa with Muscles...), but casting Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus here was a stroke of genius. Goldberg absolutely relishes the chance to play this role, delivering a suitably tongue-in-cheek performance as the normally cheerful Father Christmas. He is surprisingly adept with one-liners, too, and Goldberg's outfit is perhaps the most impressive retro Santa costume to ever appear in a motion picture. Meanwhile, the late great Robert Culp (instantly recognisable as the voice of Wallace Breen from Half-Life 2) looks to be having the time of his life as Nicolas's grandfather. However, in the role of Nicolas, Douglas Smith is the cast's weakest link, as he is underwhelming and wooden. At the other end of the spectrum, though, Australian actress Emilie de Ravin is terrific as Mary - she is gorgeous and appears in tune with the movie's goofy tone.

At its core, Santa's Slay is a genuinely clever take on Santa Claus and the Christmas myth, on top of just being a good fun movie. Ridiculously cheesy, briskly paced and brimming with off-kilter humour, this is great offbeat Christmastime viewing. Plus, it does not outstay its welcome, as it is mercifully brisk at a hair under 75 minutes. If cheerful Christmas movies are not your thing, this is the type of flick you should watch on Christmas Eve with beers and pizza, back-to-back with Bad Santa.

7.0/10

Let's get this out of the way first: Black Death is not an enjoyable movie due to its bleak and unflinching depiction of the 14th Century. Be that as it may, it is a riveting, dramatic horror picture that's as brilliant as it is challenging. A medieval horror show from director Christopher Smith (Severance, Triangle) and screenwriter Dario Poloni (2006's Wilderness), Black Death represents many cinematic styles. The director himself describes the movie as a "men on a mission" yarn, and it is, but it is also far more than that - it is a melancholy character study and a religious thriller with profound, thought-provoking themes. Horrifying and haunting, Black Death uncompromisingly dissects fundamentalism while depicting the ghastly madness that occurred during one of humanity's darkest periods.

The story takes place in 1348. The bubonic plague is sweeping across Europe, ravaging villages and killing millions. Amid this, conflicted monk Osmund (Eddie Redmayne) secretly maintains a forbidden relationship with young villager Averill (Kimberly Nixon), weakening his allegiance to the church and disillusioning him. Word soon reaches Osmund's village about a remote community in the marsh that is unaffected by the plague, meaning that they found a cure or a necromancer using the occult has found a way to starve off the infection. A bishop envoy named Ulric (Sean Bean) and his team of medieval mercenaries plan to find this rumoured sanctuary, and they seek a guide through the plague-ravaged lands. Sensing a sign from God, Osmund volunteers his services as Ulric's guide.

Black Death is not a preposterous fantasy adventure like Season of the Witch or any similar CG-heavy production - it's a story about men brutally slaughtering other men. The violence is not exploitative, though, as it is required to portray this dark era accurately. Additionally, on top of being an unforgiving portrayal of gruesome violence, Black Death contains themes that Smith explores with noticeable density and maturity, posing thought-provoking questions regarding religion and faith. More pertinently, the film provocatively examines the insanity of the 14th Century, when the bubonic plague led to the killing of innocent people and accused witches without a fair trial. Furthermore, the movie shows how a civilised, fundamentally good person can become barbaric, unthinkingly hurting others after being permanently changed by a traumatic ordeal. Now, that is the stuff of horror.

Black Death is a slow-burner of a horror movie; it's in no rush to get anywhere as it provides a methodical journey through this harsh world. Nevertheless, it is gripping. Laden with detail, the 14th Century truly comes alive here, with era-specific costumes, detailed production design, and authentic-feeling locations thick in fog and mood. Filmed in Germany, the sprawling vistas and eerie forests lend an epic quality to Black Death, allowing the picture to feel like far more than the low-budget, almost straight-to-video flick that it is. Credit is also due to Sebastian Edschmid, whose cinematography is drenched in grittiness and looks washed-out to borderline monochromic proportions. At times, the hand-held photography is a bit too shaky, but otherwise, the movie features marvellous photography and editing. Christopher Smith is a competent helmer, too, orchestrating the brutality with a sure hand, and there is a constant, suffocating sense of dread throughout the picture that suits the material. To Smith's credit, he also leaves certain things to the imagination, allowing the gory sound effects to speak for themselves. After all, images that the human mind can conjure up are far more horrifying than anything that can be committed to celluloid.

Unfortunately, though, the characters are mostly only distinguishable due to their physical appearances rather than personality traits or actual names. Considering how richly drawn some of the central characters are, it's a shame that the supporting characters remain one-dimensional plot pawns. On a more positive note, however, the actors are all spot-on. Smith does not assemble an A-list cast, as this is a case of choosing the right actors regardless of bankability. Leading the ensemble is Sean Bean, who's brilliantly intimidating as Ulric, and who competently carries the weight of the film on his shoulders. Bean's intensity is particularly riveting. (As a side note, due to his imposing look and how he wields a sword, one can't help but evoke memories of Bean as Boromir in The Lord of the Rings.) Alongside Bean, as Osmund, Eddie Redmayne is ideal; he nails the various emotions and nuances the role requires. Elsewhere in the cast, recognisable actors like David Warner (Titanic) and Carice van Houten (2006's Black Book) make a great impression, and former Blackadder cast member Tim McInnerny effectively plays a village leader. Meanwhile, a sublime bunch of tough guys play Ulric's band of dangerous men, including John Lynch (In the Name of the Father), Andy Nyman (Severance), and Johnny Harris (RocknRolla), among others. They all fulfil their duties to a high standard.

Enthralling, well-made, and with impressive production values, Black Death is a haunting horror film that conveys a dark tale and provides a provocative look at the 14th Century. While it is more of a movie you admire than conventionally enjoy, it is hard to deny that this is an incredibly scary and intelligent flick. If you have the stomach for disturbing motion pictures and can appreciate meditative material, this visionary masterpiece is definitely worth watching.

8.5/10

Jacob Aaron Estes spent years working on a screenplay for his debut feature film, and the result is 2004's Mean Creek; a multifaceted, deceptively straightforward spin on the coming-of-age genre. Both harrowing and emotionally devastating, writer-director Estes made the most of the scant $500,000 budget he had at his disposal, using candid writing and an astonishing cast of young unknowns to elevate what could've easily been a cheap retread of similar productions. Mean Creek is unflinching in its ugly examination of morality and the human condition, with a story that spotlights a handful of innocent children marching towards adulthood who are forced to confront tragic events. Estes refused to take the easy way out here, resulting in a sincere motion picture free of Hollywood artifice, shrill faux melodrama, sentimentality and out-of-place humour.

When overweight school bully George (Peck) brutally beats up young classmate Sam (Culkin), a plan is conjured up to teach the arrogant tyrant a lesson. Feeling uncomfortable about physically hurting George, Sam and his older brother Rocky (Morgan) look to humiliate Sam's attacker with help from two of Rocky's friends: the meek Clyde (Kelley), and the gung-go Marty (Mechlowicz). Under the guise of it being Sam's birthday, the plan involves bringing George on an afternoon boating trip along a local river. As George is eager to make friends, he happily agrees to the invitation, unaware of the plans which await him. Sam's crush Millie (Schroeder) also tags along for the boating trip. Unfortunately, the prank goes awry, and everyone involved becomes faced with the horrible reality of their actions.

What really works here is the way that writer-director Estes allows time for us to get to know George. Everyone is eager to condemn him but, as it turns out, George is not inherently bad; he's a complex, mentally troubled boy merely yearning for social acceptance. Several of the characters come to recognise George's innate humanity, and as the day unfolds they start to sympathise with him and have second thoughts about their impending prank. A less skilful filmmaker would have painted the characters in broad strokes of black and white, with George as a straight-up villain and Sam as just a victim. Estes, on the other hand (despite being the target of a verbally abusive bully in his youth), removed these blind designations to take viewers on a morally ambiguous saga where the line between right and wrong has been severely blurred. And once tragedy strikes, there are no easy solutions or answers. Who is to blame for the tragedy? Is there anyone to blame? More pertinently, the characters are faced with an uncomfortable moral dilemma for which each ostensible solution has huge drawbacks, so what should be done? As Mean Creek has a lot on its mind, it would've been difficult for Estes to devise a satisfying resolution. Unfortunately, the ending falls somewhat short; it wants to be deviously ambiguous, but seems more like a copout.

Estes' directorial style is decidedly non-flashy and almost documentary-esque. Shot on location in the Oregonian wilderness, Mean Creek was not coated in a thick layer of Hollywood polish; rather, the film's look is somewhat raw, exemplifying the picture's indie origins. Despite Estes' filmmaking inexperience (he had only directed one short film prior to Mean Creek), the movie feels as if it was puppeteered by a veteran. Heck, some Hollywood directors have been working for decades, but are no match for Estes' superb mise-en-scène and gift for compelling drama. Pacing is another of the director's strong suits. While the third act admittedly starts to drag, the middle act (i.e. the whole boating trip) is completely gripping and full of tension, culminating with a game of "truth or dare" that's riveting in its unpredictability. Credit is also due to Sharone Meir for the handsome cinematography, while composer tomandandy should be commended for his evocative score that underscores the sense of tension and tragedy as a fun afternoon gives way to disaster and despair.

With no exceptions, the six leading actors are outstanding; easily one of the most talented young ensembles in years. As Sam, Rory Culkin (who, yes, does remind you of his big brother Macaulay) is amazing - the youthful performer was able to convey sadness and vulnerability, not to mention anxiety. Unexpectedly, Lizzie Maguire regular Carly Schroeder is perhaps the most nuanced cast-member (though this statement in no way belittles her excellent co-stars). Playing Sam's would-be girlfriend Millie, the cute Schroeder convincingly sells every aspect of her character, whose innocence gives way to a wider array of emotions. Mega props is also due to Nickelodeon favourite Josh Peck, who was given the difficult task of humanising the role of George. Peck was called upon to sell both humanity and brutality; a feat that he pulled off remarkably. Alongside them, Scott Mechlowicz is frightening and incredibly convincing as Marty, while Ryan Kelley and Trevor Morgan lend strong support playing Clyde and Rocky. It's a big ensemble, to be sure, but every actor shines, and each were given moments to make their roles three-dimensional.

Mean Creek was an official selection at both the Cannes and Sundance film festivals, and it's not hard to see why. Low-budget independent movies are often perceived as a source of intelligence, boldness and originality lacking in big dumb Hollywood blockbusters, and Mean Creek gives further credence to this belief. Even despite a few minor faults, this is essential viewing.

8.5/10

If Sam Raimi were perpetually tripping on acid throughout every stage of making a movie, it would look something like this Japanese cult classic from 1977. Hausu cannot simply be classified as a movie but as a bizarre, borderline indescribable experience. Actually, words like "bizarre" or "weird" do not even begin to describe this flick - it's just plain crazy. And not crazy in a generic, loose sense - Hausu is the work of a fucking madman. Rather than a simple fantasy-horror, director Nobuhiko Obayashi creates something that does not adhere to coherent filmmaking or storytelling rules. Hell, Obayashi also says "fuck you" to the rules of science and planet Earth while he was at it. Hausu could be described as a mix of haunted house horror and a coming-of-age tale, but it's mostly a surreal why-stop-at-the-kitchen-sink-let's-throw-everything-we-have-on-screen-and-see-what-happens kind of "what the fuck" cinematic experience.

There is no coherent plot to discuss, so one can only describe the setup: a teenage girl (Kimiko Ikegami) is disheartened to find out that her father plans to bring his new girlfriend on the family's annual summer vacation. Consequently, she rounds up several of her best friends and heads off to visit her aunt in the Japanese countryside. Everything seems peachy at first, but it turns out that the aunt is a spirit and her house is haunted. The house seems to come alive, and a series of strange supernatural events begin to overwhelm the innocent young girls.

Admittedly, Hausu takes a little bit too long to reach its stride, but the wait is worth it. The above plot outline barely scratches the surface of this batshit insane concoction, which is less concerned with plot and more concerned with how you can tell a story. Hausu is about the possibility of what can be committed to celluloid, and about experimenting with ways to baffle and overwhelm viewers. Due to its logic-deprived storytelling and feverish visuals, the film feels like a child's nightmare, and there's a good reason for this: the director's 11-year-old daughter Chigumi was consulted for the creation of several key scenes, and the story is credited to her. The only real flaw with Hausu is that the characters are too interchangeable and undistinguished. They all look somewhat similar and lack personality, so the question of who's who becomes blurred as the lunacy unfolds. You don't really care about them either, though that was probably the least of director Obayashi's worries - he probably just wanted you to focus on caring about trying to retain your sanity.

Obayashi calls upon an array of filmmaking and special effect techniques to satisfy the script's peculiar demands. The optical effects are crude due to their 1970s origins, but this is all part of the campy charm that makes Hausu so much fun. Obayashi clearly enjoys experimenting with every technique available, resulting in a mishmash of practical effects, optical effects, skipped frames, wipes, animation (augmenting live-action material), different shutter speeds, slow motion, split screens, imaginative camera movements, time-lapse, freeze frames, matte paintings, newsreel footage, and more, all of which are breathlessly combined to leave viewers absolutely dizzy. The inexplicable madness does not end there, with clocks vomiting blood, paintings coming alive, and even moments when characters dance to the score. Speaking of the score, it's similarly manic and over-the-top, with constant piano refrains and cheesy, bouncing music to make one further ponder whether or not Hausu's makers are actually sane. Indeed, watching Hausu is the equivalent of stepping into an alternate universe that laughs in the face of physics and common sense.

Some have labelled Hausu a horror film, but this label is too simple. The supernatural elements are the stuff of horror, granted, yet Hausu is too funny, colourful and boundary-pushing to just be called a horror flick. Due to its unique disposition, the movie won't work for everyone - some will undoubtedly find it too disorientating or weird for their tastes. But if you can tolerate and appreciate it, Hausu is an insane joyride of a movie as bewildering and inventive as it is entertaining.

8.0/10

Former WWE wrestler Steve Austin, it seems, has become the new luminary of straight-to-video action films. Arriving after Damage, The Stranger, Hunt to Kill and Knockout, 2011's Tactical Force was made by newcomer writer-director Adamo P. Cultraro, and his inexperience shows. A high-gloss action-thriller, Tactical Force solely aimed to provide some brainless thrills, but it fails to be a fun testosterone-soaked rollercoaster due to its banal, pedestrian and moronic nature. Trust me, this movie has nothing that you haven't seen done hundreds of times before in any number of better, more exciting action films.

Tactical Force concerns a gung-ho, "shoot first, ask questions later" L.A.P.D. SWAT team led by Captain Tate (Austin). Following a disastrous hostage-rescue mission ending in robber deaths, injured hostages and thousands of dollars of property damage, the team's long-suffering boss forces them to undergo retraining to improve their mission tactics. They're sent to an isolated hangar for their scheduled exercises, but show up on the very day that two rival gangs (each consisting of only two people...) are fighting over something so important that the writer-director was too lazy to actually figure out what it could be. Since the SWAT team are only training, they have no live ammunition...just blanks. Thus, the team become trapped in an isolated location surrounded by dangerous people with no weapons and no way to call for back-up.

Tactical Force admittedly looks slick, but it rapidly grows tedious once the characters reach the hangar due to boring dialogue and bland actors. The material is so bad that even Michael Jai White is stiff here. The action, meanwhile, often bores through its repetitiveness. Literally, most of the action beats consist of people being held at gunpoint before the gunman is attacked by their opponent. I lost count of how many times the bad guys held Tate's team at gunpoint but chose to deliver dull dialogue instead of just shooting the trouble-makers. Some of the action set-pieces are a tad enjoyable, but most of them are poorly-staged - for the most part, the enemies have a clear shot at the good guys, but keep on missing for no reason other than the script demands it. It's a given that bad guys can't shoot straight in action movies, but to this extent is ridiculous. And the film's straight-to-video nature is often obvious. The score, for instance, is generic and cheap, and transitions are far too chintzy. The quality of straight-to-video movies has been improving of late, but Tactical Force sets the standard back a few years.

Tactical Force also strains credulity to breaking point and beyond with its countless coincidences, synchronicities and so-called "plot twists", not to mention exhaustive stupidity. Take, for example, the opening sequence: a supermarket robbery. Since this is a dumb action movie, the robbers don't just stroll in and ask for cash - instead, they burst in with powerful weapons and Halloween masks, and proceed to threaten everyone. A hostage negotiator is brought in, but Tate sends the negotiator home before telling a robber to go fuck himself and charging into the store with guns blazing. One of the robbers then comes face-to-face with Tate while holding a civilian hostage. Instead of negotiating, Tate just drops both his gun and protective helmet, and runs at full speed towards the armed robber to crash tackle him. (Never mind that Tate's opponent is armed and has enough time to shoot Tate or his hostage, or both...) What the fuck kind of tactics are these? How did these hooligans ever pass their examinations? How were they instated in the force? Why were they allowed to do this stuff for so long? More pertinently, why the fuck were they sent to the grocery store if this is their M.O.? And if they weren't sent by their superiors, why are they allowed to freely roam the streets? And this is just the first 10 minutes... Screw insulting just your intelligence, Tactical Force insults the intelligence of anyone within a 10 mile radius.

Cultraro's writing is monumentally lazy too, as the film never reveals the item that the bad guys want (this film isn't smart enough to have a mysterious MacGuffin...), and there's a "twist" at the end that's both stupid and inadequately explained. It's as if this twist was the result of a last-minute rewrite/reshoot, because it makes no sense in the context of everything that came before it. It feels like Cultraro knew how stupid it was, too, because he flat-out refuses to explain it. Cultraro probably thought he was being clever, but this just renders his script retarded.

With its boundless clichés (including Russian baddies) and so many flaws in basic logic that are impossible to overlook, even the most dedicated action fans will have a hard time getting through this drab mess without constantly rolling their eyes and/or sighing heavily. The movie looks pretty good, sure, but it's let down by its awful screenwriting and vanilla actors.

3.2/10

A "found footage" mockumentary, 2008's Lake Mungo is not a typical horror movie in the vein of The Blair Witch Project or The Exorcist. Instead of a schlocky series of cheap scares, freshman writer-director Joel Anderson crafts a low-key supernatural drama that examines the emotional repercussions of a family dealing with grief. With that said, though, this engrossing Aussie thriller is nevertheless saturated with a chilling sense of dread. Sometimes, the best type of terror is psychological, which is why this movie is so effective. As a matter of fact, Lake Mungo is more frightening in its own way than the senselessly gory horror movies that so often invade multiplexes.

The narrative unfolds as a 'talking heads' documentary and concerns the events surrounding the drowning of young Alice Palmer (Talia Zucker) as told by her family: father Russell (David Pledger), mother June (Rosie Traynor) and brother Mathew (Martin Sharpe). Shortly after Alice's funeral in early 2006, her grief-stricken family begin hearing unexplainable noises coming from her bedroom, and mysterious images of Alice start showing up in photographs and videos taken around the house. With the possibility looming that Alice's spirit is haunting their residence, the family decide to call on the services of a psychic named Ray (Steve Jodrell). However, this leads them to uncover Alice's dark, untold secrets, and, in turn, they set out to unravel the events leading up to her drowning. Their investigations lead them to the eponymous Lake Mungo, where Alice went for an ostensibly innocent camping trip just a few months before her death...

Your enjoyment of Lake Mungo depends on your expectations. Viewers anticipating something akin to Paranormal Activity or a dumb mainstream horror movie will walk away disappointed. On the other hand, viewers who watch Lake Mungo with an open mind will be engrossed by its unique brilliance. Joel Anderson doesn't take his viewers as fools; instead, he treats them as adults. Accordingly, Anderson does not force any jump scares, nor does he throw in any loud bangs or blatant music cues to tell us when we are supposed to be scared. This is a horror movie that relies on an eerie atmosphere and an incredible sense of intrigue. Consequently, Lake Mungo is far more satisfying than any Hollywood horror film of at least the past decade. A polished shot of Jason Voorhees carelessly slicing off heads is not nearly as chilling as grainy camera phone footage of a stomach-churning apparition wandering out of the darkness. Anderson's handling of the narrative is clever, too, leading to a last-minute twist (revealed during the can't-miss closing credits) that deepens the tale and renders the film instantly rewatchable.

The documentary conceit is sold with flawless proficiency, to the extent that I constantly and genuinely wondered if the movie was nonfiction. Anderson does a truly superb job blending interviews, home videos, photographs, phone footage and local news broadcasts (which are especially convincing) to construct this gripping faux documentary drenched in authenticity. It also helps that the actors are never anything less than believable. The cast is mainly comprised of unknowns (though they often feature in Australian TV dramas and soap operas), which further helps to sell the illusion, as there are no prominent actors to distract you from the story. The performances are perfectly naturalistic and understated, which serves to ground the proceedings in a sense of humanity. The standout is David Pledger, whose performance as Alice's dad is heart-wrenching in its candidness. Just one unfocused moment of acting from any performer could have destroyed the illusion, but no deal-breaker ever comes. It's extraordinary.

More than a cliché-ridden ghost story, Lake Mungo is a study of how families cope in the face of great tragedy. Alice's mother, father and brother struggle to let go of Alice and get over their grief, and the film even shows the kinds of things that people do to help the grieving process. It's poignant elements like this that make Lake Mungo such a gem. It's definitely a slow-burner of a movie (maybe at times a little too slow), but what it lacks in gore and cheap scares, it makes up in its powerful story, believable characters, and a creepy sense of atmosphere. Lake Mungo is thoroughly fictitious, of course, but the picture's scripted origins are never apparent as the story unfolds.

8.4/10

Every once in a while, a movie comes along which successfully encapsulates the teen life of its respective era. Take, for instance, such films as Clueless and Mean Girls. 2010's Easy A is a continuation of this tradition, exploring high school life in an age of online social networking. Like Clueless, Easy A's screenwriter Bert V. Royal and director Will Gluck have taken a classic piece of literature (in this case The Scarlett Letter) and placed the story in a modern context, complete with biting satire, pop culture percipience and witty comedy, turning an age-old narrative into something fresh-feeling. On top of being fun to watch, Easy A is multi-layered, making it an ideal movie to represent teen life circa 2010. Also, just as Clueless introduced Alicia Silverstone as a leading lady, Easy A might be Emma Stone's star-making role (let's just hope Stone's career turns out better...).

Essentially an invisible social ghost, brainy high school student Olive Penderghast (Stone) is despondent about the lack of male interest in her life. In order to avoid a weekend camping trip with best friend Rhiannon (Michalka) and her creepy family, Olive lies and says she that has a date with a college boy. The following week, Rhiannon immediately jumps to the conclusion that Olive lost her virginity to her fictional date; an assumption that fuels the rumour mills and rapidly spreads around the school, suddenly making Olive an object of interest. Enjoying the resultant sense of power, Olive allows rumours of further sexual trysts to spread, as she accepts money from male peers to say that they had sex. But Olive's unexpected popularity brings about a troubled reputation, and things go from controversy to chaos.

Easy A does for teen comedies what Scream did for slashers, as the film slyly satirises the genre's clichés while at the same time having no choice but to adhere to them. Bert V. Royal's script also incisively explores aspects of contemporary teenage culture, including the struggle to be your true self in the face of social pressure, the heady price of popularity, and the way that privacy has diminished in today's era of Facebook and Twitter when intimate personal information can become common knowledge. Added to this, Easy A is an affectionate love letter to the late, great John Hughes and his movies that remain esteemed to this day. Olive discusses Hughes' output at times, iconic songs from his movies are included (including Simple Minds' Don't You Forget About Me), and there's even a montage of scenes from such Hughes films as Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Say Anything and Sixteen Candles. But it's not that screenwriter Royal lazily leaned on them to eschew the need for creativity - Hughes' works are simply used to show the difference between reality and an '80s movie.

Of course, all of this material could have resulted in a cringe-inducing, "hip" self-aware drag, but Easy A is the exact opposite. Although Will Gluck's filmmaking debut, 2009's Fired Up!, was an unwatchable piece of shit, the director has matured for his sophomore effort, pulling together a predominantly fast-paced, energetic teen comedy that would make John Hughes proud. Gluck's sense of comic timing is spot-on, doing justice to the screenplay's one-liners which will have you howling with laughter. Easy A also benefits from attractive photography and genuinely skilful shot construction, including several tracking shots (most notably for the opening and closing credits) that impress mightily. But with that said, the film isn't perfect. Most glaringly, it's confusing that Olive gets the reputation of a slut even though the school's male population seem to be aware that they can pay her for pretend sex. And the film's acerbic wit deteriorates from time to time, leaving slow patches which give the impression that everyone was on autopilot. Perhaps this comes as a result of too many subplots being crammed into this simple story.

Emma Stone has proven herself to be a strong supporting performer over the past few years (see Zombieland and Superbad), but Easy A denotes her first solo leading role, and the terrific results show that she deserves to be in the upper echelon of young acting talent. Stone's performance is so amiable and funny, but she seems effortlessly natural and real whenever she's on-screen as well. Also brilliant are Stone's interactions with Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson, who play Olive's parents. They share a terrific family dynamic, and their scenes together are some of the brightest and most enjoyable segments in the flick. Thankfully, Tucci and Clarkson were not bound by the usual strict, mean, clueless parental stereotype - rather, they come across as smart, non-judgemental, respectful human beings who know that their daughter needs her own personal space and privacy. The rest of the cast is surprisingly star-studded, with Thomas Haden Church who's ideal as Olive's cool English teacher, Lisa Kudrow who steals the show as a guidance counsellor, and even Malcolm McDowell who shows up from time to time as the principal of Olive's school.

Hollywood churns out tonnes of truly awful movies about teens, so it's a joy to witness a teen comedy that's as witty and intelligent as Easy A. Heck, it's so well-written and well-made that it should become the new essential sex comedy. Rather than something like American Pie which relied on gross jokes and sex references, Easy A is a more honest examination of the consequences of sex (real or made up) and society's idea of what sex really means.

7.2/10

It's always exciting to witness the birth of a new martial arts action star. Bruce Lee stunned movie-goers in Fists of Fury, Jackie Chan's early Hong Kong flicks wowed all who watched them, Jean-Claude Van Damme showcased his awesome fighting abilities in 1988's Bloodsport, and Steven Seagal made a promise he failed to live up to with Above the Law. 2003's Ong-bak continues this tradition, heralding the arrival of Thai superstar Tony Jaa whose phenomenal fighting and physical prowess is unparalleled. Like the films that introduced Jaa's martial arts predecessors, Ong-bak is low on story and originality - the feature's aim is to showcase the unbelievable skills of the lead performer and his audacious team of stuntmen, leaving viewers breathless at the sheer boldness of the on-screen physical feats. This Thai import is not a high quality flick by any critical standard, but it has enough visceral fighting to ensures that it's a lot of fun.

Like most actioners, the story of Ong-bak is the definition of simplicity. In a peaceful, rural Thai village, the head of a sacred Buddha statue - known as the Ong-bak - is stolen by a group of conventional bad guys looking to sell it on the black market. Enter Ting (Jaa), the village's most skilled martial artist who's awaiting his chance to be ordained as a monk. Ting volunteers to retrieve the head, and sets off to Bangkok in order to find those responsible for the blasphemous thievery. He meets con-artist Hum Lae - also known as Dirty Balls or George (Wongkamlao) - who claims to know the location of the man who stole the Ong-bak's head. Unfortunately, Ting also comes to realise that competing in illegal underground fighting will be the only way to get him closer to his goal.

From a script and narrative standpoint, Ong-bak is highly conventional, as it concerns a quest and a courageous warrior who's forced to conquer some of society's worst elements in order to make things right in the world again. The script is riddled with dumb clichés as well. For instance, at one stage Hum Lae and his young female friend Muay (Yodkamol) are being beaten up in the street just as Ting shows up. Later, the Main Bad Guy(TM) decides to have his men eliminate Ting and Hum, but asks them to carry out the executions after he has left with all the important people. And they don't even bother to tie up Ting or Hum, despite knowing about Ting's incredible fighting capabilities. The antagonistic crime boss' motives are also vague and confusing; he seems to dismiss the Ong-bak's head as garbage throughout the film, but it becomes a main part of his devious plan. This stuff is dishearteningly Hollywood-esque.

The only aspect of Ong-bak that's original is the action sequences, which boast some of the best fights you will ever see. Most martial arts films feature bloodless, over-choreographed brawls, but the fights here are incredibly vicious, utilising Jaa's favoured Muay Thai fighting style that mixes balletic movements with blunt brutality. The main selling point of Ong-bak is that the action is real, with no wirework, filmmaking trickery or digital effects to enhance the ability of the fighters. It's not that wire work is necessarily bad, but it's more breathtaking to see Jaa actually jumping over people and dangerous objects. For the most part it also looks like the performers kicked and punched each other for real! These moments will have you wincing, but they're nothing compared to Jaa blocking a razor-sharp saw with his arms or elbowing the top of an opponent's head. Ouch! Thankfully, the action was shot well, too; director Prachya Pinkaew eschewed the typical ultra-fast cuts that have become the standard in Hollywood.

The only drawback about the fights here is that Pinkaew repeated many of Jaa's moves in slow motion from multiple angles. It at times ruins the flow of the action, and it's particularly unnecessary in an era of home video when people can just rewind and re-watch whichever part they wish. Additionally, while Jaa is an excellent stuntman, he lacks the charisma of someone like Jackie Chan. To his credit, though, Jaa's performance is not necessarily bad; it's just that his screen presence is underwhelming. Thankfully, the rest of the cast are perfectly serviceable in their roles. The only problem is that Pumwaree Yodkamol - while extremely cute - has an irritating voice that quickly gets on one's nerves.

Ong-bak is not a thinking man's action movie - it's an action man's action movie. It's not perfect, but it should be atop any martial arts fan's list of flicks to watch. This is a lean, no-nonsense actioner which competently showcases Jaa's physical expertise without descending into tedium or being overly talky. Still, one can't help but wonder how amazing a Tony Jaa vehicle with a great script could be...

6.8/10

Following 2009's The Princess and the Frog with another tale of romance and princesses, Tangled is Disney's 50th animated feature film. And for this prestigious occasion, the studio turned to the story of Rapunzel, which was one of few fairytales that hadn't been given a trademark overhaul by the House of Mouse. In order to appeal to as many demographics as possible, Tangled has romance, action, adventure and musical numbers...in other words, it slavishly adheres to the exact same formula that was applied to the 49 feature-length animations that Disney produced prior to it. But while this computer-generated fantasy is generic, it's nevertheless charming, amusing and adventurous.

As an infant, young Rapunzel (voiced by Moore) was stolen away from her parents by the wicked Mother Gothel (Murphy), planning to use the girl's long magical hair to retain her youthful looks. Thus, Gothel houses Rapunzel in a tower and forbids her to leave, teaching the child to fear the outside world and convincing her that she can only be safe at home. From afar she watches the nearby kingdom and is enraptured by their festivities, and yearns for nothing more than to free herself from Mother Gothel's forceful grasp to explore the outside world. Into her life soon comes local thief Flynn Rider (Levi), who stumbles upon Rapunzel's tower while on the run from both the kingdom guards and the criminal partners he double-crossed. Rapunzel is shocked by the intrusion, and only agrees to let Flynn (and his stolen treasure) go if he escorts her to the kingdom so she can witness the beautiful annual lantern show.

The big problem with Tangled is its devotion to the Disney formula. Screenwriter Dan Fogelman (Cars, Bolt) stuck to the studio's well-worn staples: a feisty princess, a dashing hero, a villainous witch, wacky animal sidekicks and jaunty musical numbers. Heck, the music was even written by Alan Menken, whose contributions to The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Pocahontas and other titles have made him a Disney favourite. The songs, unfortunately, do not gel as well as they should have. They're enjoyable in the moment but forgettable, and their inclusion feels forced at the demand of the formula. There's a bit of tonal schizophrenia too, as directors Nathan Greno and Byron Howard tried their hardest to broaden appeal for maximum profits. The tonal juggling is not entirely slipshod, but some moments are too saccharine-coated for adult audiences while others are probably too intense for infants. The other flaw with Tangled is pacing issues; Flynn and Rapunzel's journey is admittedly lax from time to time.

But the above are the only drawbacks of what is otherwise a wholly enjoyable Disney production. The laughs are constant and satisfying, with a handful of sly one-liners (for the most part courtesy of Flynn), and some hilarious Looney Tunes-style antics featuring a stubborn white horse. Despite the formulaic structuring of Fogelman's screenplay, dialogue is surprisingly strong - the banter between Flynn and Rapunzel is sharp and witty, and the characters share good chemistry. Flynn is one of the most likeable Disney heroes in years, while Rapunzel is a genuine stunner of a princess (who knew cartoon females could look so beautiful?). Best of all, while the feature is generic and calculated, it works - the tragic moments tug on the heart, the upbeat moments make us smile, and the film leaves us with a warm and fuzzy feeling. Tangled successfully replicates that old Disney magic, allowing us to overlook any minor scripting faults.

Best of all, Tangled features some of Disney's most elegant visual craftsmanship to date. Directors Nathan Greno and Byron Howard elected a style of animation which replicates the traditional hand-drawn animation aesthetic in computer-animated 3-D, resulting in an impeccable hybrid of the old and the new. The filmmakers struck the perfect balance between realism and caricature; the CGI approach permitted a level of phenomenal detail that would be impossible to achieve with the former pen-and-ink style, while the movie's cartoonish look is also reminiscent of something like Pinocchio or The Little Mermaid. The colour palette is often lush as well, bringing about several instantly iconic images (the lantern scene is stunning), and the action beats were staged with immaculate finesse. This was Disney's most expensive movie yet, but the ridiculous $260 million price-tag has paid off.

As the young Rapunzel, Mandy Moore's vocal performance is chipper and amiable. The general aura that Moore brings to the role makes Rapunzel a truly pleasant character. Zachary Levi is also excellent as Flynn, with a completely charming line delivery befitting of the character. But it's Broadway veteran Donna Murphy who steals the show as Mother Gothel with brilliant menace and a wicked demeanour. Meanwhile, great characters actors filled out supporting roles (even the likes of Ron Perlman, Jeffrey Tambor, Richard Kiel and Brad Garrett feature here), and they all placed forth competent work. However, none of the characters are anywhere near as funny as Maximus, the silent royal horse who's rather hostile towards Flynn (and vice versa). The horse is easily the best character in the film, but it's good that his screen-time is so limited because it makes his fleeting appearances all the funnier.

Tangled may be business as usual in terms of Disney storytelling procedures, but it's surprisingly refreshing because it's not some postmodern, "hip" Shrek-style fairytale reinvention, and the comedy is free of pop culture references. With humour, heart, songs, and typical Disney-esque themes, Tangled is worthy of being Disney's 50th animated feature, and it's baffling that the movie was not even nominated for the Best Animated Movie Oscar.

7.5/10

While Sylvester Stallone has Rocky & Rambo, and Arnold Schwarzenegger has Terminator, Jean-Claude Van Damme does not have an iconic franchise to his name. The closest thing he has to this is Universal Soldier, but that series is too minor and scattershot. Thus, rather than being renowned for a sole character, Van Damme just has a number of cheesy action movies (of varying quality) to his name, and his most iconic character is up for debate. 1989's Kickboxer is one such Van Damme action movie that many will argue is his best. The very definition of unpretentious, cheesy '80s filmmaking, Kickboxer can best be summarised as Rocky IV with kickboxing, or The Karate Kid for the testosterone crowd (The Karate Rocky?). Never mind that the film is predictable, clichéd and often unintentionally funny in its sheer ludicrousness, because it has raw, exciting action and Van Damme in his prime kicking ass, which is what counts in the long run.

After defeating all of America's best fighters, World Champion Kickboxer Eric Sloane (Alexio) and his brother Kurt (Van Damme) look to expand their horizons, and fly to the home of kickboxing: Thailand. Eric promptly challenges the local champion, "Tiger" Tong Po (Qissi), but the match goes horribly wrong. Kurt looks to save his brother by throwing in the towel during the humiliating fight, but Tony Po takes one last cheap shot which leaves Eric paralysed. Angered, Kurt vows revenge, but is not a good enough fighter to challenge the champion...yet. Hearing of Kurt's vendetta, sympathetic ex-soldier Taylor (Anderson) offers to take the eager young man to Xian Chow (Chan), a local master of the Muay Thai fighting style.

Kickboxer is, essentially, nothing more than your standard "out for vengeance" B-movie. It has all the '80s clichés, too: revenge motives, underdog heroics, training montages, and tournament-style fighting. As perhaps to be expected, Tony Po is not depicted as a moral man, but instead a cheap stock villain, triggering memories of Rocky IV's Ivan Drago. Also mixed into the plot is a narrative thread concerning organised crime (of sorts), with shady bad guys who want to make sure that Kurt will lose. And did I mention theres a romance, too? In other words, you'll be ecstatic if cheese is your thing, because you'll have gleeful fun with all the constituents that everyone else will abhor. The only unfortunate thing about Kickboxer from an entertainment-seeking perspective is that it's admittedly too talky, and it does have more exposition than a movie of this nature should have. C'mon, we want more action... And we want some tits on the side...

The good news is that once the film gets down to business, it satisfies. Jean-Claude Van Damme is a wooden thespian, but he's an awesome fighter. The martial arts set-pieces are competently choreographed (Van Damme himself directed them) and entertaining. Directors Mark DiSalle and David Worth realised that the fights required no unnecessary visual flourishes, so their filmmaking techniques are welcomely basic, letting the choreography speak for itself. It's great to watch such material in an age where action scenes are so often incomprehensibly shot and edited. Kickboxer entertains in terms of unintentional hilarity, as well - Van Damme even dances to a jukebox at one stage, and in another scene he kicks down a goddamn tree. Classic stuff. Cheesy '80s music also features prominently, such as the song Fight for Love which is coated in more cheese than a pizza. And just to sweeten the deal, Taylor even goes Rambo on a bunch of goons while smoking a cigar. Awesome.

From top to bottom, Kickboxer is a predictable actioner, but it delivers exactly what it promises on the tin. This is not a critically fertile feature, so there's not much more to analyse here. It's an entertaining popcorn film and an enjoyable time-waster if you can lighten up and turn off your brain for 90 minutes. If that sounds appealing, have at it. If not, then you need not apply.

6.0/10